(ThyBlackMan.com) Col, 3:21 “Fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged”
At the start of boyhood young black males look for the guidance and acceptance of their fathers. Too many times in our community that desire for guidance and acceptance goes unfulfilled. It is during this time of need that is met by disappointment that young black men fail to honestly identify himself 
and who or what he is to self, family, community or society as a whole. The loss of fathers in young men’s lives obstructs the growth and development in so many aspects of their young lives that many fail to realize they are adults until their late twenties or early thirties maybe even later.
In Dr. Na’im Akbar, Visions for Black Men(1991), he detailed the development of males into manhood in three stages and the third coming only after an emancipation of the mind.
They are:
1) Maleness- discovered at birth.
2) Boyhood- after establishment of discipline
3) Manhood- when knowledge is used to expand budding rationale into consciousness. Stage 2 is where many of our young black men are caught in a “time warp”. This is where the young man is still acting on boyish impulses and uncontrolled urges when he should be accomplishing goals and manifesting desires. Why is this so prevalent during the twenties and early thirties? Because to become a man you have to know what one is, what one does, how one thinks, and most of all become proactive more than reactive. Many of our black men have never experienced life with a male role model or mentor. This is like trying to navigate your way through the Atlantic without map or compass or in today’s terms a GPS system.
Many of our brothers, even as adults, are waiting for daddy to come home and “save the day”, when the day belongs to them. Our brothers are becoming fathers without proper knowledge of fatherhood and the responsibilities that accompanies such. While most men attempt to do right by learning from the mistakes of their past many believe that good sex or brutish language and force is the mark of a man.
The manner in which today’s young black man choose to deal with issues he faces in life is a direct correlation to the lack of substantial adult male mentoring. The deficient adult male representation in the black community has enhanced the psychological and emotional impairment of our brothers to cope on a society that sees them as worthless and expendable. This has even helped to make the black man seem inept, shiftless, and detestable to our black women and children. This is indeed in need of a viable solution and swift correction
The ailing pain of growing up fatherless is one that lasts a lifetime and a pain of which I can attest…
Staff Writer; Adisa Bey
