(ThyBlackMan.com) It’s time for some real talk. I gotta warn you: if you’re a Christian or a pastor, you may find my words offensive. That’s not my concern. I’m just honest enough to keep things real with you.
I want to address a few of the reasons why I believe more black men don’t attend church. If we really want to be honest about it, most brothers outright reject church and Christianity. And I think I know why… The following are in no particular order. I’m trying to keep this posting as conversational as possible. So lets get right to it…
1. There are way too many gays in leadership roles in black churches!
Yeah I know…the nasty emails and messages will pour in behind this one. But truth often stings when it first bites you. Go to any black church on any particular Sunday morning, and you’re almost guaranteed to see a choir 
director or minister of music standing before the congregation who seems to walk a bit too lightly in his shoes. And God forbid if you go to a church musical! You can watch the skinny pant-wearers coming in posse deep.
And shame on you pastors out there reading this, who willingly put obviously gay men in visible leadership roles in the church! Where are your leadership skills?! What kind of example are you setting for the youth in your midst, whose souls you are supposed to be watching over? Don’t you know that effeminacy breeds more effeminacy? And some pastors have the audacity to put gays in charge of the youth ministry! Its no wonder we constantly hear about gay adult male predators molesting little church boys. Some of you pastors will pay for this with your own souls.
Understand this: NO real man will come to your church if it’s populated by a bunch of wimps and sissies! As a pastor if your church is heavily attended by gay men, maybe you need to check yourself. Why are the gays so attracted to YOUR church? Maybe you want to take a closer look at that and get a little more honest with yourself.
From what I read about Jesus, he surrounded himself with manly men. They were gruff fishermen, dock workers, carpenters, tax collectors, revolutionaries. They were men who weren’t afraid to draw the sword and commence to cutting off ears when the time called for it. These are the kinds of men who were attracted to the ministry of Jesus; and he to them. So why such a dramatic change for us today? It may be offensive to say this but it is what it is…
2. Men need discipline, not hugs and emotion.
What do the black muslims, the military, sports coaches and prison all have in common? Answer: they know what it takes to discipline your sons and turn them into men.They know how to take young men who the world says are hopeless thugs and the scum of the earth, and turn them into unified productive members of a community.
You’ll never see a drill sergeant hugging a new recruit and telling him, “Son, do you know how much you are loved“? But what you will hear one say is something like: “Move your god-blankety-blank-blank over there and give me 100 blankin’ push-ups”! And you know what’s crazy? By the time the drill sergeant has finished training the new recruit, that young man will willingly charge a bunker filled with hostiles, bullets flying in his face and even give up his life for his newfound military family.
When I visit churches nowadays, its evident the focus of most pastors and their ministry is on young single black women with kids. And by young I mean early 20’s to mid 40’s. Most of the preaching is designed to appeal to the female’s sensibilities. “Are you hurting, and feel like you need Jesus to wrap his arms around you?” Too many feel good, gummy-bear messages designed to make people feel good. I’m sorry, but messages like these only turn men away from Jesus.
Men want to be taught. Appeal to our sense of logic and level-headed thinking. Don’t just put on a bunch of happy music and expect the men present to dance their way down to the altar. The only men you’ll be seeing are the ones in the skinny jeans and tight teeshirts.
When was the last time besides Father’s Day you even heard your pastor speak a pro-masculine message? Don’t think too hard… I don’t want you popping a blood vessel! Too many pastors are too busy preaching messages to please their majority female audiences. They’ve become teachers of those with itching ears, preaching false hope of positivity and ‘all will be fine as long as you pay your tithes’, instead of giving those same women the truth that they need. Again: shame on you pastors! I’ve never seen such a bunch of weak-kneed spineless wimps in clergy collars as I see today!
What’s needed is good solid biblically-based teaching. Teach the people how to discipline their lives by the teachings of Jesus Christ. Stop making Jesus out to be some soft pushover and show him to be the strong masculine figure that he truly is! Men need discipline, not a bunch of soft music playing on the organ while the pastor makes an emotional appeal for us to ‘Come to Jesus’. A real dude may walk the aisle and come forward; but what will keep him in the church after that one prayer at the altar? Only solid instruction and discipline will. He needs to be taught how to discipline his life by a new world view and new principles. And I’m sorry to say, but the way most black churches conduct their styles of ministry, this will NEVER happen. Hence why churches are filled with women and kids.
3. Too much emphasis on tithes and offerings.
Let’s keep it 100: if a man smells a scam, you ain’t getting his money! And if he’s married, you ain’t getting his wife’s money either!
Today’s churches have become maniacal about money. I recently watched a minister on tv spend 30 minutes convincing people that Jesus had a house. Who gives a cookie crisp?! But it was an attempt to convince people to focus on the idea of giving money to the minister to get money back from God.
Understand that when you mention things like: Sowing your seed, a financial harvest, money cometh, and other such popular phrases, you immediately push smart, rational thinking men away. He smells a scam. It’s the punchline he’s been waiting for. “Aha“, he declares. “I knew there was an angle!” You’re not getting a man’s money without first getting his heart. And you’ll never get his heart if you focus too much on his wallet. The best way to get a man’s heart is to be the kind of leader he’ll willingly follow. Then if you ask for 10% of his income to finance church projects, he’ll have no problem doing so.
These are just a few of the many other things I’ve observed over the years: things that seem to keep more real men away from the church. There will definitely be a part 2 in the near future.
Understand this: NO real man will come to your church if it’s populated by a bunch of wimps and sissies! As a pastor if your church is heavily attended by gay men, maybe you need to check yourself. Why are the gays so attracted to YOUR church? Maybe you want to take a closer look at that and get a little more honest with yourself.
From what I read about Jesus, he surrounded himself with manly men. They were gruff fishermen, dock workers, carpenters, tax collectors, revolutionaries. They were men who weren’t afraid to draw the sword and commence to cutting off ears when the time called for it. These are the kinds of men who were attracted to the ministry of Jesus; and he to them. So why such a dramatic change for us today? It may be offensive to say this but it is what it is…
2. Men need discipline, not hugs and emotion.
What do the black muslims, the military, sports coaches and prison all have in common? Answer: they know what it takes to discipline your sons and turn them into men.They know how to take young men who the world says are hopeless thugs and the scum of the earth, and turn them into unified productive members of a community.
You’ll never see a drill sergeant hugging a new recruit and telling him, “Son, do you know how much you are loved“? But what you will hear one say is something like: “Move your god-blankety-blank-blank over there and give me 100 blankin’ push-ups”! And you know what’s crazy? By the time the drill sergeant has finished training the new recruit, that young man will willingly charge a bunker filled with hostiles, bullets flying in his face and even give up his life for his newfound military family.
When I visit churches nowadays, its evident the focus of most pastors and their ministry is on young single black women with kids. And by young I mean early 20’s to mid 40’s. Most of the preaching is designed to appeal to the female’s sensibilities. “Are you hurting, and feel like you need Jesus to wrap his arms around you?” Too many feel good, gummy-bear messages designed to make people feel good. I’m sorry, but messages like these only turn men away from Jesus.
Men want to be taught. Appeal to our sense of logic and level-headed thinking. Don’t just put on a bunch of happy music and expect the men present to dance their way down to the altar. The only men you’ll be seeing are the ones in the skinny jeans and tight teeshirts.
When was the last time besides Father’s Day you even heard your pastor speak a pro-masculine message? Don’t think too hard… I don’t want you popping a blood vessel! Too many pastors are too busy preaching messages to please their majority female audiences. They’ve become teachers of those with itching ears, preaching false hope of positivity and ‘all will be fine as long as you pay your tithes’, instead of giving those same women the truth that they need. Again: shame on you pastors! I’ve never seen such a bunch of weak-kneed spineless wimps in clergy collars as I see today!
What’s needed is good solid biblically-based teaching. Teach the people how to discipline their lives by the teachings of Jesus Christ. Stop making Jesus out to be some soft pushover and show him to be the strong masculine figure that he truly is! Men need discipline, not a bunch of soft music playing on the organ while the pastor makes an emotional appeal for us to ‘Come to Jesus’. A real dude may walk the aisle and come forward; but what will keep him in the church after that one prayer at the altar? Only solid instruction and discipline will. He needs to be taught how to discipline his life by a new world view and new principles. And I’m sorry to say, but the way most black churches conduct their styles of ministry, this will NEVER happen. Hence why churches are filled with women and kids.
3. Too much emphasis on tithes and offerings.
Let’s keep it 100: if a man smells a scam, you ain’t getting his money! And if he’s married, you ain’t getting his wife’s money either!
Today’s churches have become maniacal about money. I recently watched a minister on tv spend 30 minutes convincing people that Jesus had a house. Who gives a cookie crisp?! But it was an attempt to convince people to focus on the idea of giving money to the minister to get money back from God.
Understand that when you mention things like: Sowing your seed, a financial harvest, money cometh, and other such popular phrases, you immediately push smart, rational thinking men away. He smells a scam. It’s the punchline he’s been waiting for. “Aha“, he declares. “I knew there was an angle!” You’re not getting a man’s money without first getting his heart. And you’ll never get his heart if you focus too much on his wallet. The best way to get a man’s heart is to be the kind of leader he’ll willingly follow. Then if you ask for 10% of his income to finance church projects, he’ll have no problem doing so.
These are just a few of the many other things I’ve observed over the years: things that seem to keep more real men away from the church. There will definitely be a part 2 in the near future.
Staff Writer; Mack Major ||
