(ThyBlackMan.com) Let me preface this by saying a lot of what I talk about will be from a Mans perspective BECAUSE IM A MAN… *shrugs* I’m Not insensitive to what women feel… or their needs. I just try to get women to look at whatever differently… Not like a man… But DIFFERENT! And if you ask my opinion you best to believe I’m a give it to you. This was a good conversation with a friend.
The Question? I’m a catch, I’m a good woman, I have good job, I have a house, I have a nice whip, I don’t think I’m bad looking… how come I can’t find a man?
HEREWEGO! Before I start I am in no way shape or form saying, asking, or expecting ANY woman to settle or lower her standards… See women have this 
thing called “The List” and for most women this list culminates everything that she wants her prospective man to be “Already” which means you already putting contingency on your relationship. The point is some of your list is just that… It’s TOO GOT DAMN LONG! Some women have some very superficial things on their list and tend to confuse those superficial/material things or what they “WANT” not need in a man and call them standards! #215 on the list He can treat me like shit but as long as he can maintain my S550 I’m good… LLS Let me say whatever you have on your list you should be able to claim or embody yourself before you expect it from another. Sometimes our depiction of ourselves or own self worth is skewed. Oh, you a good woman? Not saying you aren’t but how you know? Who told you? I know you “SAY” it all the time but just because you say it does that make you one? Basically men need to see/feel it and not just you shouting it out verbally every chance you get. Are you as attractive mentally, spiritually as you are physically? We are not always honest or realistic with ourselves sometimes admitting our own flaws or shortcomings! Ladies honestly, when your list is too long, the ONLY person that can measure up to it is yourself (in your mind) and God! *shrugs*
How many times have you heard a woman say “I don’t need a man for shit” or “a man can’t do nothing for me I can’t do for my self” usually followed by the woman trying to overly justify and explain why she is perfectly happy and single! And FOR THE RECORD…”Happiness” needs no explanation. When a person is truly happy you don’t have to ask, they don’t have to tell, explain or justify anything it is blatantly obvious when someone is genuinely happy. If there is any spiritual bone in your body you know that WE were not designed to go through life alone. HE took from man to make woman because man was flawed. He created woman as a perfection of man. NOT perfect but the perfect compliment to what already existed to make a whole!! We were made different on purpose! In short y’all are what we ain’t! *shrugs* But in the creation of women he gave them the ability of “Submission” submission does not = lie down and let man have his way. It’s allowing the man to be what God instilled in him to do. Letting a man be a man. (Phil Jackson doesn’t win games. Kobe wins the games but Phil puts Kobe in the best position where Kobe can be Kobe) Women have to learn how to be Phil Jackson. Remember “the perfect compliment“? … As a Man, a well to do or a woman that does well for herself is obvious… It SHOULDN’T be intimidating but to some men it is. To most it’s admirable. WE can see it! You don’t have to tell us or remind us!
As a Man I can ONLY protect my woman, provide for my woman, & love her. When you tell a man that you don’t need him or he can’t do anything for you. You just eliminated 2/3 of it. Then all he can do is love you. Women want to be and should be pursued but applying “submission” means at some point you allow yourself to be caught! Some women’s independency = self centeredness only makes them UN-catchable and they won’t even notice because they so consumed with what “I” can do for myself. The “I” occupies so much space in they life there isn’t room for her to even notice him. They usually can’t get out of their own way long enough to even be receptive to a man. The “I” in her allows her to possess THINGS …house, car, financial independency, on her own and a lot of those things do NOT constitute being happy. Those things don’t make you happy they only can help facilitate happiness or what already is or in short make life easier. Those “THINGS” do not give YOU substance as woman. The “I” disables you from accepting a mans heart because it only allows you to accept love from your own! My grandma used to say all the time “God CAN NOT bless ME if “I” continue to do what “I” want to do!” The “I” will supplement life with a lot of things you need to figure out if being alone is one of them that you will accept.
I am in no way saying that men or a man can not embrace woman’s independency but it’s more of the woman she presents herself as to men while she is claiming Mz Independent!
Sincere!
Staff Writer; Jamal Montague
