Veronica Young; We Have Cougars, But What Do We Call Old Men With Young Girls?

 

A young African American girl, heavy set, tight leggings and a tank top, heavily perfumed at the bus stop and mentioning under small talk that she was traveling to meet a “friend.” We got on the bus, I sat down a row behind her   and quickly observed the interaction between her and her “friend.”

 

A considerably older man who sat in the front seat of the bus, his armed draped over the back, inconspicuously looking up and coyly addressing her, whispering for her to sit next to him. She smiled awkwardly and refused, opting for the seat just behind him. He turned to speak to her from time to time, periodically asking if she was okay and if she was hungry. I watched for their interactions and reactions, and the reactions of the people on the bus, and wondered if they too, thought their relationship was a little suspicious. They got off the bus together, heading somewhere, in the same direction and wondered what would happen with them next.

 

Innocent right?

 

 

A Washington D.C. man recently pleads guilty to premeditated murder for fatally stabbing his teenage daughter and dumping her body in a trash bin after authorities discovered the incestuous relationship he was having with her. When the authorities questioned the man about her murder, and asked if his “DNA would be on [her]” the man wasn’t sure how to respond. When her body was later tested, his semen was in fact found in her, and had been for at least three days. He later admitted that he did have sex with his daughter on “several occasions” and a day or two before he killed her.

 

The first scenario wouldn’t necessarily evoke any sense of urgency, right? If I told someone about that situation, they’d probably look at me as if I were crazy, for even letting my mind go to that place, believing that something like that could even possibly go on. They’d turn a blind eye and say, “Oh,that’s probably her ‘uncle,’” “someone she knows,” “if she’s legal, she can do what she wants,” or something similar. But turning a blind eye, and not questioning those very things is exactly what could play out in the latter scenario. And it’s then that everyone would ask, “Why didn’t anyone do or say anything? Weren’t there signs?”

 

This post isn’t to condemn Kelly, Hefner or Diddy, I’m not in their bedrooms, but rather draw your attention to the trend of older men and considerably younger girls. The cougar phenomenon gets glorified and isn’t particularly troubling, even a bit humorous when we see it under light. In fact, I was talking to my younger sister about this very issue who was telling me about a tweet she saw from Quest Love regarding Madonna. He said something to the effect: “Madonna is 53.  Her dude was 1 when Like A Prayer came out,” and when you click on the link, it takes you to a picture of a cougar.

 

I’m no psychologist and I can’t pinpoint why the attraction in dating individuals under huge age gaps, but I really don’t need to be in order to tell you that something is off. Clearly, these individuals are seeking validation. For these young girls, they’re wanting a boost of self-esteem, perhaps fulfilling the void of an absent father and perpetuating the idea that to get attention, is to do it sexually. And a male’s reasoning can’t be too far removed. I mean seriously, do these men really believe that a young girl would truly be interested in them?

 

We can not turn a blind eye to behavior such as this.

 

We need to develop an urgency to protect and to question without fear. Better to question to find out you may be wrong, then to not question at all, to find out it’s too late.

 

What do you think?