(ThyBlackMan.com) I am an extremely healthy eater. On January 1, 2011 I began my fifth year as a vegetarian. My consumption of processed food is minimal – I estimate that it occupies about one percent of my diet – and I’ve reduced my sugar intake drastically (chocolate donuts remains my weakness). Currently I’m working on eliminating all dairy from my diet (I love cheese). I need not tell you this diet change was a tab bit challenging at first, but as the days grew into weeks and weeks into months “the change” became “the normal.”
The key ingredient that helped my new eating habits become routine was the refinement of my palate, developed by learning fresh ways to season new and healthier foods. Here’s an example: instead of eating Uncle Ben’s long 
grain white rice, which I love; I now eat short grain brown rice. Now if you know anything about short grain brown rice the taste leaves a lot to be desired. However, if you marinate and cook the rice with flavor filled seasonings the rice becomes a true treat – different taste, but definitely a treat.
The beautiful thing that I discovered about my change in diet was the same principles apply to refining my marriage. Just as I identified that I was partaking in some bad eating habits I identified those horrific habits that I embraced in my marriage. Subsequently I discovered healthier choices to replace the unhealthy ones. And I chose new seasoning to enrich those healthy choices.
Here follows is a seasoning recipe I employ and you too can make use of to grow a healthier marriage:
[S] – Spoil your wife; not with chocolate candy or material gifts, but with a character wealthy in LOVE!
[E] – Encourage your wife. I found that too often I spent more time giving my wife the truth of a situation rather than encouraging her about the situation – your wife values your input. While you should never sacrifice what is true, you must find that balance and ensure that you are encouraging her spirit.
[A] – Affirm your wife! Acknowledge that you appreciate all (especially those small things) the attributes that she’s deposits in your marriage!
[S] – Share with your wife! As men we carry the facade of being a’igth even when we aren’t. What does it say about our marriage if we can’t share our deepest feelings and fears with our wife? We are supposed to be “naked and not ashamed.”
[O] – Observe your wife! Boy I’m talking to me on this one. Our wives love to hear kind words from us. When our wives are observed by us they feel SPOILED, ENCOURAGED, and AFFIRMED. Our wives prefer to feel observed by their husbands rather than strangers in the streets. However, when they hear remarks of observation from strangers it only confirms what they’ve already received from their husbands. Your observation makes it extremely difficult for your wife to feel what’s on the borders of your marriage, to be better than that which exist within your marriage.
[N] – Nestle with your wife! Nestling with your wife is more about cuddling with her spirit than it is about sharing a physical closeness. Draw near to your wife’s spirit.
[I] – Identify with your wife! A healthy marriage is the product of oneness. Identifying with your wife and her with you is a key element in oneness.
[N] – Never be dishonorable to your wife! In reality marriage is such that you and your wife are going to disagree on issues. Even in our desire to live in oneness, the independence in each of us will sometimes grip our spirit. So disagree, but never be dishonorable.
[G] – Give without expecting in return! I know this might be a “what the hell” moment, but the spirit of this level of giving usually receives a plentiful return. It’s giving and always expecting something in return that usually returns to you void.
Four years and three months ago I entered into the kitchen and starting creating new dishes with tasty sauces and new found seasonings. Get in the kitchen and start cooking up a healthier dish in your marriage using the right seasoning.
Staff Writer; Reginald Williams
For more articles on Relationships visit Rule Your Wife and for Marriage Counseling; Marriage Nectar.
