How to Make a Better Marriage…

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(ThyBlackMan.com) Reconnect with your partner – make your relationship better…

1. STEP ONE: Reconnect
You are with your partner because you connected with him or her about important and exciting things. Often, we let jobs, kids, and life run us. We get swept into the things we have to do and forget about what is important to us. Take a minute to look at your spouse and feel happy with what he or she is doing. Make eye contact and give him or her a smile. This is the beginning of breaking through the ice.

2. STEP TWO: Nurture your connection
Remember what it is that brought you together, and seek new ground about what makes your spouse wonderful. Expend your energy to connect with your spouse more often and re-energize your relationship. Tell your spouse what they do that attracts you to him or her. Thank your spouse for  something that they did that you enjoyed. Find the things that you appreciate about your spouse and find ways to highlight that with the other person. When your partner feels appreciated, he or she is likely to return the energy and favor.

3. STEP THREE: Plan a future
Relationships live and die on daily interactions and how you treat one another. Once you take the time to remember what you appreciate, express a willingness and an excitement in your future by making plans with one another… prioritize one another. Plan a massage night in the bedroom after the kids are asleep. Make concrete commitments to each other to go on a date and leave the kids with your parents. Turn off the cell phones and computers and play a game with one another. Interact without distractions. Make new memories with each other and plan to make more!

4. STEP FOUR: Relationship Reality
We were brought up expecting a “happily ever after” once we got married. This can be true, but all happiness comes with hard work and acceptance of ourselves and others. Your marriage will need work, and the bottom line of all of this work is the committment that you and your spouse made to one another when you married. We can be completely honest with the other person about our own faults because we know that our partner loves us anyway. You have to be honest and talk with your spouse about your life – your goals, your dissappointments, your fantasies (which can be very fun) understanding that this person will be there until death parts you. Also with this understanding, you need to be open to accepting your spouse’s faults. I’m not talking about putting up with physical or mental abuse, or affairs here. Get rid of him or her if that is going on because that person is incapable of forging something honest with you until he or she gets help. I’m talking about realizing that you can nag your spouse about putting the dishes in right order in the dishwasher for another 40 years, but understand you’re taxing that person without taxing yourself. Make due with the dish being in the dishwasher and let a little go from time to time. The real important stuff in your marriage is that eye contact and smile that you make. Saying “I love you” when they leave to work. It’s how it all started, and it’s how to keep it alive!

Written By Muselle