(ThyBlackMan.com) Sometimes it seems like we can’t talk to each other about anything sensitive because we don’t speak the same language. The words we use are the same, but they mean very different things to people on different sides of the argument. If we’re really interested in resolving problems and getting solutions everyone can live with rather than letting the issues linger and fester, we need to at least understand the positions the folks on the other side of the question are taking.
Of course, there are some who are invested in keeping issues unresolved. They get money and power from leading protests and ginning up outrage. If a problem actually went away, they’d lose all that. Those are the people who try to redefine words so that the two sides can’t agree on what is being said, and so that each side can’t understand what the other side wants or is upset by.
Here are some examples. We’re constantly told that we must be “tolerant” of others’ different lifestyles. “Tolerant” by the dictionary means “willing to accept behavior and beliefs that are different from your own, although you might not agree with or approve of them.” But now “tolerant” is used by one side to mean “completely approving and promoting” of something. So that side accuses those who don’t approve or promote that thing of being “intolerant,” while those being accused feel greatly insulted about behavior they accept but don’t approve of.
Another example is “discrimination.” By the dictionary, it means “the ability to see the difference between two things or people.” Discrimination, being able to distinguish between two things, isn’t by itself immoral. It’s when that discrimination is used to divide groups in such a way that one group can be disadvantaged that it becomes bigotry, a “stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one’s own.”
So when you see or are involved in a situation where there’s some major principle at issue, ask yourself, “Do both sides actually want to resolve the problem, or are one or both only interested in keeping it going?” If there’s real interest in resolving the problem, ask yourself, “Are one or both sides using language that inflames, insults, or confuses the other?” The last question to ask yourself is, “Will the side or sides using provocative language be willing to change the way they talk about the issue and about the other side, for the purpose of understanding and potential resolution?”
Only if all three of these questions are answered positively is there a real possibility of resolving the problem. Otherwise, we’ll all just continue to shout past each other, constantly insulting and irritating those we need to work with to fix what’s wrong.
Words have meanings. But unless we can all agree on what those meaning are we aren’t communicating with each other, we’re just “virtue-signaling” to those who already agree with us. That may feel good for a little while, but it doesn’t make anything better in the long run.
Staff Writer; Douglas Loss