“Did Daddy Call ?” “NO!”. : ThyBlackMan

Sunday, August 18, 2019

“Did Daddy Call ?” “NO!”.

February 12, 2016 by  
Filed under Brother Talk, Fatherhood, News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

Like Love Haha Wow Sad Angry

(ThyBlackMan.com) Scorned women are blinded by their pain, moving away from their innate characteristic as a nurturer to become a destroyer. We have heard the stories before of women strategically using their offspring as pawns to inflict pain or extract money from the child’s father. The women who engage in such actions are not truly women, but self-centered, immature ‘girls’ whose egos drive them to engage in actions destructive to their offspring. These ‘girls’ are unaware of the damage their razor-sharp tongues are inflicting on their child, speaking ill of the child’s father or telling the child the father does not want to see them. The child grows up feeling unwanted and neglected without reason, because the father is willing to be there for that child physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and financially.

Women who engage in such actions believe that the father is not needed. In some cases, they grew up without a father and feel they came out okay, unware of their own insecurities and psychological and emotional issues that derive from not receiving attention, love, or validation from their father. This may sound sadistic but this is true–some women are jealous of the love and nurturing the father is giving their own child. Regardless of the reason for their actions the outcome is the same, devastation for the child and the father.

Despite constant media attention on men who disown their children,Father giving son piggyback ride not much is said of the men who yearn to be with their children but are denied by a vindictive ex and a biased court system.

I can speak from personal experience. There is nothing more devastating than being denied access to your child. Like most men, I have experienced  unanswered calls with a dark, empty response via text or email, ‘she’s busy’, ‘he does not want to talk to you,’ or silence (no response), especially on birthdays and holidays.  I must say this experience has been the most traumatic experience of my life, battling guilt, worry, and anger. No one wants to speak of the men who have to send money to the mother without access to the child, nor speak of the men who go out of their way to be in a relationship with their child only to have the relationship terminated through the mother’s deceitful actions.

Cowards who flee from the responsibility of parenthood should be condemned. Theses deserters have made it very difficult for willing men to have a relationship with their children, even though the relationship with the mother is over.

Please understand, the purpose of this article is not to bash women, for there are numerous mature women who, despite their relationship with the child’s father, support and encourage a healthy relationship between child and father.

Men, we must be proactive in our endeavors to avoid having children with women with whom we do not intend to have a committed, long-term relationship. Those of us who have had ‘baby mama drama’ experiences must talk to the next generation, warning them of the harsh realities of their lustful endeavors. Hopefully such warnings will result in more children growing up in a solid family structure without courts, scheduled visits, and monthly payments.

For those men suffering in silence, I recommend speaking to someone of the torment you experience so that you may come to terms with your difficult situation and experiences: the grave hurt of not knowing the well-being of your child, or the idea that the child is experiencing pain and feelings of abandonment, without knowing that the true cause of their father’s absence is  orchestrated by a person who supposedly loves them.

Women, I beg you – if the father is not endangering the child, please allow that man to be a parent to his child. It is not your role to speak ill of the child’s father. Let the child grow to either want or not want to be in a relationship with his or her father without your negative influence.

Staff Writer; Linton Hinds Jr.

Official website; http://Livity.info/

Also can connect with this brother via Facebook; Livity, Livity.


6 Responses to ““Did Daddy Call ?” “NO!”.”
  1. Green says:

    This article give such an accurate account of how child support enforcement efforts contribute to destruction of the black family. The story of how pain, hurt, anger, abandonment and all and all can be so synonymous with the black man’s experience in the Post Welfare Reform period or after Bill Clinton.

    Black folks need to know that the Three Strikes Your Out law and Welfare Reform Act has done more harm to the unification of the black family since Slavery.

    The ultimate aim of white america (The Man) is to nurture the black man while decreasing the black population.

  2. Jean says:

    No, this is a terrible anti woman article.
    While you are bad mouthing women, you need to tell the truth about black men and thrift messy ways.

  3. La Luz says:

    This is what should be included in the discussion about the ramifications of sex, especially with someone you barely know or know aren’t quite co-parenting material. With unprotected sex can follow STDs and babies, both of which are no joke. Women are always warned to watch the men they ‘lay up’ with, but the same is true for men. What’s at stake is possibly your physical health, emotional health, social health, spiritual health and that of your potential child. Parenthood is not a game, do not play with the lives of your children

  4. I find it very strange that this website has allowed itself to be hijacked by a self promoting unknown author who will flood this website with his bullshit and they allow him to dominate the website at the expense of the average commentor, it should be obvious that MARQUE ANTHONY is a professional troll assigned to this website to control the direction of the debate, who else would have all this time , he has to be paid

    THE fact that this website has tolerated this insanity for over a year has left me with doubts about DR.WATKINS committment to our people , because nobody who loves us will allow us to be abused in any fashion and you allowed someone who think’s we’re so stupid him we need him to interpret and decide what’s valid information an what’s not.


  5. Ms Scripter says:

    The author of this article should also have to express himself that men should take a woman to court if they are not being allowed to see their children. The post comes across as if the women aren’t allowing the father to see their children, and they just give up. There are many ways to go about seeing your child, so rolling over and playing dead is not one of them.

    I do support the fact that mothers should never talk about the father of their children in a bad light in front of their child. With that being said, it’s not just men who need to be careful about the women they have children with, it works both ways.

    A solution should have drafted concerning this issue, not just a means to complain.

  6. Marque Anthony says:

    As a family and relationship counselor, an African American man with children who had a vindictive mother and a published author, I must say this article is well written. It looks at both sides and the piece is balanced because the author had the wisdom to do that.

    My book comes out this year on relationships and I would only add that the background of the person is just as important and maybe even more impacting than his or her current relationship. Backgrounds filled with issues and baggage are leading causes of relationship failure.

    To the author of this article, email me at brainstormonline@yahoo.com because I would like to communicate with you.

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!