Why Men Should Hit on Women at Church. : ThyBlackMan.com

Saturday, August 30, 2014


Why Men Should Hit on Women at Church.

(ThyBlackMan.com) I was thinking to myself the other day – I have NEVER been hit on at church.  Real, genuine churchgoing men are like unicorns, so why when I take my seat in the pews seeing all manner of men before me like I’ve just landed at the other end of the rainbow, I always leave empty-handed – no pot of gold, no man?  A goon will hit on you anywhere, but the good guys at church don’t approach. Why is that?

Gentlemen, listen up! The church holla is TOO easy. Here are a few reasons why:

*You get to hold her hand EVERY time they pray, and there’s often a lot of touching and talking going on (especially if you attend a Black church), e.g. touch 2 people and say___, hug your neighbor and say___, point at your neighbor and tell them ___, pull on your neighbor’s arm, and the like.

*We’re emotional at church (if we’re truly “saved”).  It’s like in the movies,  when a man and a woman who initially hate each other’s guts, after a few car chases and brushes with death, fall head over heels in love.  This could just be idealistic writing and have no bearing on real life, but I think there’s some truth to it.  Enduring dangerous, intense and spiritually charged situations does create a bond – there’s an air of vulnerability that will give you an opportunity to see the real her.

*Churches encourage social interaction. It is one of the few places where a total stranger can walk up to you and you won’t think he’s just trying to get in your pants.  I mean, ‘what kind of heathen would be thinking about sex…at church?’

*She will automatically think you’re a good guy, so her defenses will be down.  This is sort of an extension of the previous one, but emphasizes that the woman will have already assumed some things about you before you even approach her – good things.

*Sermons are great conversation starters. All you have to do is ask, “so what did you think of the sermon? Or what aspect of the sermon affected you most?”

If I had to guess, I would hypothesize that men don’t step to women at church because they feel it’s inappropriate. If this is how you feel, let me tell you, the church holla could not be MORE appropriate.  God is for the church holla because he wants us to be equally yoked, duh.  So, next time, you go to church, sit next to  that beautiful woman you see every Sunday, and after service, ask her out. You’ll be glad you did.

Guys, have you ever tried the church holla?  If so, were you successful? Is it something you would recommend to your friends?  Are there any men who would never approach a woman at church? If so, why not?  Ladies, have you longed for a nice God-fearing man to make a move on you at church, to your dismay?  Have you been hit on at church?  If so, is it rare or a common occurrence?

Staff Writer; Miriam Brown

Also feel free to connect with this sista via Facebook FB-30Thougts and Twitter; 30 Thoughts.

You can also visit her online at; http://www.30Thoughts.com.

 

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Comments

30 Responses to “Why Men Should Hit on Women at Church.”
  1. Kevin Darné says:

    I know this article is old but after reading it I felt the urge to answer the question as to the reason why most men don’t hit on women at church.

    1. Most relationships fail in the end.
    Since this is the case why take a gamble on having a relationship with someone at (your own) church. If the relationship ends you are likely not to want to see them each week. Another thing to bear in mind is no matter who ends the relationship one party is likely to “bad mouth” the other to folks in the church who want to know “what happened?”.

    2. There are a couple of stereotypes about women in church. The fist is they are looking for a “rooster” or a man to marry. A man who is (not) ready to settle down generally will avoid hitting on someone he believes is looking for a husband. The second is they are major “bible thumpers” meaning they aren’t much “fun” to be around. Everything they talk about they feel the need to mention God. Oftentimes it is done to manipulate a person do what they want them to do. However the slick way they do it is by using the bible verses instead of making it sound as though it’s coming from them. :-)

    3. Last but not least some men feel that “God’s house” is not the appropriate place to pick up women. When they’re in church it’s “time out” from all that kind of stuff.

    At any rate most men who go to church would rather just get their praise on and have other places they go for “social interaction”.

  2. DR says:

    Interesting article.

  3. Reginald Williams says:

    Ms. Brown,

    My opening statement clearly supports the premise of your story. The recipe for diaster wasn’t the dating, it was the reasons (even written in jest) that you provided.

  4. Miriam says:

    @Sankofa He could argue with me about the church if that was the premise of my article, but it wasn’t. Maybe I will write a post related to how people view the Church, why people don’t go and my thoughts on those things. But, until then he needs to go have a seat somewhere.

  5. Miriam says:

    @observer Thank you!
    @Reginald Williams – Why does dating someone at your church have to be a recipe for disaster? I would think dating someone you meet anywhere comes with risks. I guess I’m trying to understand why you would be hesitant to date someone at church. Is it the same concern that you would have dating someone you work with?

  6. Ramses says:

    Yeah @Sankofa a lot of black women are walking Oprah Winfrey reclamation projects….men try to give them insight on what men are looking for and they still reject it…the brawd is so busy trying to win an argument, she missing the whole point as to why Men won’t approach her or her kind….they’re not trying to win favor with men…just win arguments….gonna argue themselves right into the arms of another female with a dildo strap on if they haven’t already….

  7. Reginald Williams says:

    Ms. Brown I see nothing wrong with men and women who share the same faith, fellowshipping at the same house of worship to at least take the opportunity to make each other’s acquaintace – that’s the foundation of community and from community relationships are birthed. Why this fails to happen isn’t gender specific.

    However, even thought your piece was written in jest, each one of your reasons giving for a brother to holla at a sista is a sure recipe for a dating diaster (if him hollering at her materializes into them dating). Nevertheless, it still is a noble thought

  8. sankofa says:

    LMBAO!!! Ramses man, brother, don’t you know no African man can talk to a woman about her hair, her indeopendence and the church? This is a slippery slope you’re sliding down brother. Likewise Deeann D. Mathews, your softer response still won’t get you anywhere becasue you are still questioning these knee-grows who have no standard. Regarding your post Ramses, I have had brothers from the church, who are more concerned about my deliberate single status than i, and who insists that the best place to get some pussy was in church, becasue their was a lot of lonely women there. No consideration is giving to the fact that I am not a christian, I was told never mind, as long as I dress good and look clean the women would rush me…what the hell?

    Now I am trying to run the other way, but they keep throwing this shit up iny face…do you think they know something I don’t?

  9. observer says:

    @Miriam—-you held your own. Your responses are very practicle. Thanks for the advice.

  10. Miriam says:

    YeahIsaidit – I don’t need to do anything and I wouldn’t let your absurd comments upset me. It’s comical to me that you are taking everything I said out of context. Also, sorry to burst your bubble, but people walk in church with their lustful desires anyway. I don’t have to tell anyone to do that, nor is that what I’m telling them to do. Church is for worshiping God, yes, but who made up a rule that you can’t ask a girl out that you see at church? Why is there a stigma about it?

    Club Freaky? Really? Because you date a girl at your church? Your reasoning and arguments are flawed and assume things about the article that just aren’t there. I would love to continue the discussion, but without more sound arguments, I can’t and I won’t.

  11. Yeah_I_said_it! says:

    @Miriam

    First of all you need to calm down, and as far as staying on topic well this is the topic. No man with any self respect would go attend church with the mindset of hitting on a woman, and vice versa. I thought church is for worshiping God first and foremost. What you have proposed or suggested is exactly one of the pathetic reasons why church, especially BLACK the church, is so screwed up today. Did you ever consider for one moment that it would not be appropriate for men and women to bring their lustful desires into a place where worship is suppose to be going on? I guess many black folks would like to see their church or the church parking lot turned into “Club Freaky”. Enough said..

    Don’t take it personally but I believe you didn’t take great thought in writing this article, this is a very sensitive subject given the great level of social and dysfunctional chaos in the black community.

  12. Miriam says:

    @Deann – Who said anything about fornication?? I’m talking about meeting and dating women you meet at church, not shacking up and sexing. Are we reading the same article?? Is holding hands in church sinful? I didn’t say anyone should go to church to look for dates or women, simply that if they’re there and they meet someone worth talking to, they shouldn’t be afraid or unwilling to approach.

    The scriptures you quoted point to no impropriety in my article. Stop reaching.

  13. Ramses says:

    your reasoning for writing the silly shit….oh i forgot, it was written in jest….have fun being a courtjester….i swear a lot of times talking to black women is a waste of time….how can you rationalize with a sick, androgynous being who doesn’t know whether she wants to be a man or woman….

  14. Miriam says:

    @Ramses What part of off the topic don’t you understand?

  15. Miriam says:

    @YeahIsaidit – Then apply the article to WHATEVER church you go to. Dang!! Did I EVER say that this could only take place at a BLACK church? NO!! I said church PERIOD. Would you ever hit on a girl at the WHITE churches you attend? Let’s stay focused on the topic.

    My article was not titled, “Is there something wrong with the Black church?” or “Let’s Discuss What’s Wrong with the Church.” So, any comments that do not directly address the topic of the article are irrelevant.

  16. Ramses says:

    @Yea I Said It she doesn’t want to hear the truth…heathens never do….negroes always criticize white people but never want to look at themselves and their weak institutions….just because you slap the name Christianity on it doesn’t make it positive. I was just saying that I might start looking at other institutions as alternatives to the black church….they have no accountability whatsoever….what a joke

  17. Yeah_I_said_it! says:

    @ Miriam

    I do attend church regularly, a black church, you probably don’t believe me but I don’t care. I’ve started to visit some white and fairly integrated churches lately. My comments are based on my experience as well as the experiences of friends, coworkers, relative etc. And I stand by my comments; the black church in general, at least 80% of them, has turned into complete a cesspool. The foolishness, corruption, perversion and pure ignorance from most church leaders is nothing but a crime. And this sickness trickles down to the rank and file church members. It’s my opinion that you are not willing to face the ugly and brutal reality of life, especially life in black America.

  18. Ramses says:

    Deanne it’s clear that you’re talking to a person with debased thoughts who wouldn’t understand a Doctor Seuss Book let alone scripture. This female talk about church like it’s Freaknik!!! I’m a Man and I wouldn’t approach a female in church these days because i don’t trust them. Yet she rejects me as a Man and say she doesn’t care what I think? You’re wondering why Men don’t holla at females in church, then crying about me use the term female, nitpicking at the trivial things in my comment, yet are confused about something you should know. The fact that this female is actually the question shows how stupid she really is. Any self-respecting female would know why Men don’t “holla” at females in church. Maybe they don’t holla at females in church because Men are passing info in church on certain females who are real loose and they don’t want those particular females. See while she’s thinking it’s because it’s the church venue, she could be totally off based. It could have nothing to do with the fact that it’s church, but everything about your “bad” reputation as a sullied dish rag that even fresh dishwater wouldn’t want to attempt to clean. It’s obvious we are dealing with a kindergärtner who lacks the spiritual fortitude necessary understand why the temple should not be used as a springboard for her version of musical dating chairs. She even rejects you when you try to break things down as a Woman. It’s clear we’re dealing with someone who had no home-training. But I realize this generation of female is different from the old and their moral standards is not comparable to them. We expect too much from the likes of these females. Screwing men like it’s no tomorrow is fun and exciting and dangerous and leads to a woman being vulnerable in her mind!!! lol…now talk about senseless drivel. But for a female who probably has more skid marks in her drawls Danica Patrick’s vehicle in Nascar, I’m not surprised by her lack of understanding of basic standards of classy woman. Probably too swaggerific to understand class. And by the way, if you don’t want to really hear men’s responses on your articles, then don’t bring your dumb ass on a site that specifically targets men!!! Dumb ass. if you thought you were gonna get on a site where men were gonna holla at your dumb ass with that senseless, you were sadly mistaken. Dudes on here reign down God’s fire on your head because as the authority figures of The Most High, it’s our duty to do so. Now if you think God is some big teddy bear, and is cute and cuddly and his soldiers are the same, then obviously you are not living in reality. You’re better off writing articles on websites geared towards bitter black women than a website like this because you will get your little ego bruised on here talking this dumb shit. Your whole initial article was dumb, and your subsequent responses were even dumber and I would suggest you and having success with men doesn’t go together whether it’s marriage or just being “holla’d” at. The whole “gist’ of it exemplified what stupidity is. Go sit your dumb ass down and reflect on your own inability to attract a man in the church instead. Some sisters can attract men in the church whether it’s for a fuck or longterm. Maybe it’s just these men don’t want you. Maybe that might be it. You might be unable to garner the reverence of a Man at all because you are a subpar chick. From the article it would suggest that you are. Damn dummy….lol you ought to be ashamed to even call yourself a woman since you don’t like “female.” Seem more androgynous to me…lol…go put on a clown suit and join a circus you monkey posing as a human and let people throw bananas at you for you to fetch (making monkey sounds). lol

  19. @30thoughts — Yes, I recognize that the article is light-hearted and suggestive. That is precisely the problem, for the issues it discusses desperately need serious attention.

    Ephesians 5:3-5
    King James Version (KJV)

    3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

    4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

    5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

    Foolish talking and jesting is right there in the middle, in verse 4 — and when the church is presented and defended as the place to get one’s holla on like one would at the club in the interest of being “light-hearted and suggestive,” I think it is time to evoke Ephesians 5:4. The fact that the church is largely held in contempt by the world and that our families inside the church are in largely the same ruin as the outside shows the result of these two issues not being taken seriously enough — and the shame all this brings on the Lord Jesus Christ is essentially blasphemy in action by us church folks.

    “The church being a place that many women frequent, should not only be a place of worship, but for men and women to come together, and if they are attracted to one another, to meet and fellowship together.”

    The three words in there that indicate what I am saying about the 4 hours of being churchy and 164 hours of living as we please are “place of worship” — true worship is not something to be turned on and off in a particular place. The Church — big C, all Christians everywhere, not confined to a particular building — is supposed to be precisely as the Lord Jesus Christ describes it in John 4:23: “But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for the Father seeketh such to worship Him.” It is the reason for which the Church exists, everywhere at all times seeking to learn of, thank, praise, obey, and live in a manner pleasing to God — those are the fundamentals of worship.

    I am sure that God leads men and women who are worshipping together in near proximity to join together in a life of worship as husband and wife. But take note of every word of that sentence, and be not deceived: that is the ONLY way God leads, despite the many, many reasons people come together in any context. If a person goes to a church building looking for or expecting to be pursued by a mate, she or he has already missed the point; she or he is seeking her or his own pleasure, essentially worshipping self. One may as well be in the club, at a party, or on the street at that point; idolatry is the same no matter what building one is in. But one thing is for certain; when Christians come together focused on pleasing GOD, in any time and place, He proves Himself trustworthy in seeing to their needs for mates of His choice and pleasure.

  20. Miriam says:

    @Ramses – You are ridiculous. I didn’t say anything you stated in your response. Can you read?
    “this female is basically saying women should be approached just for cacsual sexcapades in the church.”

    First of all, I loathe being referred to as a “female.” Secondly, I said NOTHING of the sort.

    Furthermore, you’re right, I have little interest in hearing what is coming out YOUR mouth because again it has little to do with the point and purpose of the post. Not every woman cares what you think just because you’re a guy, myself being one of them.

    If your answer to the question, why don’t men hit on women at church, is because you find the women at church to be sub par, then great. We have your answer. But, everything else you have to say is worthless mindless drivel.

  21. Ramses says:

    who wants women in the church to be as easy as the women in the clubs? shouldn’t women in the church have more virtue than the club hoppers? maybe men are not approaching women in the church is because maybe they feel that women in the church are showing them the same thing that club groupie women show you: loose behavior. and you know what’s sad deanne? this is a female proposing this nonsense. and instead of her actually reading my statement, she said it’s a dissertation but has no problem going to school and reading long books for a class. but when it comes to trying to understand men’s thinking in the church, she rejects it, even though it’s coming from the horse’s mouth!!!! this female is basically saying women should be approached just for cacsual sexcapades in the church. really? lol…. i would agree with her if she said that when men approached these women, women should be forced to have an id card showing their body count. If this was the case cool. cause at least men would know for a fact, what type of female you are and would have no pretenses about whether you are marriage material or just fit for a one night stand

  22. 30thoughts says:

    @Deeann – I get what you’re saying as well, but I think you are also reading too much into the article, as well. It’s not that deep.

    These days, it is a challenge to meet a man with any type of spiritual background. The church being a place that many women frequent, should not only be a place of worship, but for men and women to come together, and if they are attracted to one another, to meet and fellowship together. I don’t understand why men don’t approach women at church. What is the difference between approaching a woman on the street, in a club or at a party?? To me, there really isn’t one. That was my point and the gist of the article.

    Also, I am not saying women at church are better or holier than women you meet elsewhere, but that men should not shy away from meeting women there for dating, courting or marrying purposes.

  23. 30thoughts says:

    @Ramses…no offense but I am not reading your dissertation of a comment. You are not going to pull me into an argument about the church. Why? BECAUSE THAT WAS NOT THE PURPOSE OF THIS ARTICLE!! I don’t care why you don’t go to church or what you think about the church or what church means to you. This article was intended to be light hearted and suggestive to men WHO DO GO TO CHURCH, and who like WOMEN THEY SEE AT CHURCH to go ahead and holla at the ladies. There’s nothing wrong with it, and most women would welcome it!

  24. Deeann D. Mathews says:

    @Miriam… I see where you are coming from, but the whole concept of “The Church Holla” … the whole concept sends shivers down my spine…

    At one time we married the person we went to church with because we also shared an entire community and body of work beside that person; church was not somewhere that most of us check in with for four hours before going back to whatever we consider secular life for the other 164 hours (yes, that’s 164 hours, making 168 total) of the week, with both the men and women doing what pleases them in this materialistic, hedonistic society instead of focusing on what is becoming of holiness, purity, and building of family and community. There were not these bi-polar splits in our behavior and our focus in those days. I am describing the period where there was a more equal balance of men and women in church.

    Times have really changed… now we speak not in terms of two people coming together of equal spiritual and community focus in order, as the Bible says picturesquely, “to seek a Godly seed,” but of doing in church what is done in the streets: the “holla.” But it goes to my first point — if there is a split in what is done between 164 hours and 4 hours a week, eventually whatever is done in the 164 hours will leak over into the 4…

    I’m not saying men shouldn’t approach women in church — I would not exist if my church-going forefathers had not approached my church-going foremothers. But the approaches were not all made on a Sunday morning; these were Black men and women who were doing good things in their community that the other could observe. Their church-going and worship practices did not exist separate from their daily lives; they walked their talk 168 hours a week (okay, 112 or so… we all need to sleep). That being the case, a better recommendation might be for both men and women to approach on Sunday morning to find out one thing only: what is this person doing during the rest of the week that you can make time to observe and gather information to make an informed decision about the reality of their profession of faith and how that might relate to their marriageability?

  25. Ramses says:

    WOW Mariam…where do I begin? Let me first say this as not an attack on you personally, but it definitely is an attack on your argument. Nothing against you but your argument find plenty of fault. Let me first say this: people you need to check your institutions. All insitutions that people have been beaten into submission to respect have been exposed (government, banks, churches, educational, et.). This author argument assumes that the “Church” is above reproach and has done nothing wrong in terms of besmirching its own name and taking away its credibility. If it was this easy to meet people at church, why are their so many Christian websites out here in existence? Why are there any at all? Hell if church is the place to be in terms of available women, then why are people seeking third party websites for Christian suitors? I’ll tell you why: the institution is a joke. The so-called black church proved this to me when Eddie Long hosted Bush back in 2004 and in his scandal a few years back. There should have been a complete repudiation of eddie long’s behavior but not only did this not happen, you have black people who still go to his church. Now, why would I as a rational thinking man would want to be with any woman who accepts this nonsense/ The same females who accept bum dudes in the streets accept them in their pulpits as well. Look at all these scandals involving black clergymen. It’s always them sticking penis in multiple black women in their congregations. What man wants to approach a female in church when his pastor could have already plucked their fruit. You hear black women saying “my pastor said this, my pastor said that.” Blah blah blah blah. Who cares what he says? What does the law say? I don’t care what he says, especially if he’s not in line with the Creator’s natural law. Who wants a woman more devoted to her pastor than her husband? And trust you me, there are plenty of black women who fit this profile to the point where their own men fear saying anything critical of their pastor. To me, the women in the church are the most guilty ones out here. How can you go to church every sunday, for bible study, revival, retreats etc., and still not get it right? I mean you do all these things and still find no success with men? And yes there are men who look at women sexually in the church. Wanna know why? Because there are females who come in the church dressed like their going to the club. I don’t apologize for my natural man’s response to booty in my face, regardless of the venue. Females should have enough respect for themselves, men, and the congregation to come to church appropriately dressed. Not coming to church with this skin tight shit that causes men to be sexually aroused. And if you think women are unaware of this power then you’re either naive or dumb, and I don’t know which one is worse. Let’s say you are a married woman. And you come to church with your Man and you’ll are perfectly married with no issues. And your husband happens to be seated besides one of these devilish women in skin tight attire. You mean to tell me you won’t be a little uncomfortable your man hugging and holding hands with another female especially if she’s extremely attractive and single? For all you know, this woman could be specifically wearing these types of clothing for your man to get him to react in a way where she can try to sleep with him, taking away your happiness. If you knew ancient customs, women weren’t allowed in the temples like that. The only church that women need to worry about is there home. Home should be woman’s church. Not a building you go to. Your churches doing better than your homes and you wonder why you have problems. Way too many harlots in the church for you to say a Man should approach a woman in that environment. And just because people go to church doesn’t mean they are equally yoked. This is the most overused statement in the black church. Stop saying it. Most of you all don’t even read enough to actually discern what this means. People think this is about material most of the time. This deals with the hearts and minds of both participants. How can gay people be married, yet straight men and women find it hard? Because, for gays, a lot of times (and I never thought that I would be using gay couples to make my argument) they are of the same mind and heart. They look at their committed relationships (not these people who just want to be gay for the sake of it and to be obnoxious) as partnerships. That’s why they use the term “life-partner.” Do women look at their relationships based on a life partnership theme? Doubt it. This statement proves it:

    *We’re emotional at church (if we’re truly “saved”). It’s like in the movies, when a man and a woman who initially hate each other’s guts, after a few car chases and brushes with death, fall head over heels in love. This could just be idealistic writing and have no bearing on real life, but I think there’s some truth to it. Enduring dangerous, intense and spiritually charged situations does create a bond – there’s an air of vulnerability that will give you an opportunity to see the real her.

    Everything I’ve been saying about black women on this site has been proven true in this statement. “Enduring dangerous, intense and spiritually charged situations does create a bond-there’s an air of vulnerability that will give you an opportunity to see the real her” , is one of the most asinine statements I’ve ever heard from a female. It might make for good sex, but that’s about it. And furthemore, if you have to go through that to have good sex, then something’s wrong as well because I’ve made love to women I loved and I didn’t need drama surrounding it to make it feel good. The scenario you describe is a club scene. I see why a lot of women are single and have never been married. It’s quite clear. Not only do black women lack an understanding of how black men feel, they don’t know how men operate in general at all, no matter the color. Being in a dangerous situation is the only way a black woman will show her vulnerabilities? Damn so I have to beat her ass to get her to open up? I’ll say this again. Women in this culture have no overstanding, understanding, or innerstanding of how to coexist with men. Period. You’ll have all these self-help books and still can’t get it right. Got your BIBLE (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) manual and still can’t get it done. The Bible is basic in terms of the ancient sciences when it comes to male and female relations. There are way more ancient texts that if most women read, would not even breathe the word Man because they would realize they weren’t worthy of one. And then don’t get me started with the weak, soft dudes in church. Laughable. These dudes on the altar crying, with their arms raised to the sky snot running down their noses like 4 year olds talking about how unworthy they are of God’s love. When you think God is outside of you, that’s a major problem. The Divine Architect of this Universe is in me (can’t speak for these heathens out here) and I don’t need to beg for anything. And I definitely don’t need a shucking and jiving pastor thinking he can speak on my behalf to my Creator. And people need to get off this notion of needing to fellowship with other believers nonsense. What does that have to do with your own individual spirituality? When you out of the church, doing dumb shit, where are your fellow worshipers at? At home living their own lives. Look at a lot of the eastern sciences. Notice how they focus on meditation. Why? Because spirituality is a journey within self. Just because you go to church, does not mean you don’t have to follow your own path. You can congregate all you want to but your fuck ups are your own fuck ups. You give the church some blanket coverage as if it’s in pristine condition. You don’t remember the catholic priest saga in 2002? Even your own scriptures warned you about shepherds leading the flock astray. Even your Jesus meditated (on the mountain with Satan rejecting him was meditation) and followed his own path. You didn’t see Jesus step into church not one time did you? Show me in the scriptures where Jesus sat down in service. The only time you saw him come in the temple was when he was fighting with the moneychangers (as you know the priests were the bankers). Sound familiar? They were running game on their parishioners. Before you give advice sister on men approaching women in church, you might want to do some research on the women and your church before you just start blindly defending it. Cause I can tell you right now. I wouldn’t ever date a woman that goes to Newbirth church. Sorry. Wouldn’t do it. If that’s the type of men you want leading you, then I’m not your Man. You think that because a Man goes to theology school he knows God? I didn’t go to theology school but I think a whole lot more rational than these dudes do and to think that a man can go to divinity school and learn “The Creator” is ludicrous to say the least. How can you have Men, who claim they know God, yet know nothing about astronomy or the universe? God created the Universe didn’t he? Yet all your knowledge about him is taught from a terrestrial perspective. Why are their shooting stars? Or solar flares? Why does the three pyramids of Giza mimic a formation in our celestial heavens? Why would their be something below (three pyramids) built to imitate something in the heavens that we know is there? Matter fact, why would black people build it? Your pastors are no more closer to God than you are, as they show you with their derelict behavior. So if these are the institutions that you think will save you, or make your men stronger, or women more attractive, think again. Yeah you will have males in these institutions who will approach you for sex and if that was the crux of your argument, then this has been a futile endeavor. However, I’m assuming you were talking about longterm relationships. But, I could b wrong. Just remember, the name Miriam is Hebrew and the origin of the name Mary (the virgin) that a lot of women find it hard living up too. Just keep that in mind before you start advising men to approach women in the church. Make sure your house is in order so when a Man approaches, he’s not dealing with a woman that keeps an untidy house in the first place.

  26. Mack says:

    Thats actually some GOOD advice. I have to agree with you on the ease of the church hit-up. As for why so many guys have a negative view of the church in general:

    http://thyblackman.com/2011/12/16/why-black-men-dont-go-to-church/

  27. Miriam says:

    Geez, never have I seen so much contempt for the church. Is it really that serious?? I go to church to fellowship with other believers, not to judge the pastor, or even make sure he’s living righteously.

    @YeahIsaidit – So, do you even go to church or did you just want to say something just to talk? Because if you feel that way about Black churcesh, you probably haven’t set foot in one for a while lol

    @Jay – I’m confused. You’re looking for a Christian Queen outside the church? What about the women without kids?? Why so negative? There are certainly women at church without ANY kids. If you were to run into a woman at church that you like, the article asks whether you would approach her, and if you wouldn’t approach her, why not?

    @DesJean – Thank you! Everything the other two said has nothing to do with nothing…Bitter Berts lol

  28. DesJean Jones says:

    Always with the complaints and negative commentary. Problem-children everywhere–in & out of church. To the writer AMEN my dear!

  29. Jay says:

    My problem with Church woman is that they maybe just as bad as the woman out in the street. SMH. It also doesn’t help that they’ll have one, two, or three children with them as well. With that said, I wouldn’t want any other woman. I pray for my Christian Queen to come in my life when God see fit.

  30. Yeah_I_said_it! says:

    Most black churches are nothing but jokes and have been this way for the last 30 years or so. Preachers do nothing but loot the collection and literally prey on women, men and even children for sexual gratification. And most of the women there are no better than the same scanks hoes who frequent cheap night clubs.

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