Categories: Brother TalkNewsOpinionRelationshipsWeekly Columns

MEN: Access & @ss!


(ThyBlackMan.com) Today’s technology gives men, all kinds of men, access to women like they’ve never, ever had. Have you ever stopped to think about that? I mean really ponder what a man has access to. The married woman. The stripper The hood-rat. The porn star. The weird classmate from the 10th grade. The ex-girlfriend that is now married. The girl he was crushin’ on but never said anything to. The recent divorcee. The girl that liked him but was unavailable.

Now let’s remove the creepy factor and think about what this instant access is creating for someone like the “average Joe“. He’s educated or has a skilled trade which brings him a decent wage. He has pics of himself as a child on his profile page (awwwww). He usually has a funny or sometimes introspective status update. He never has pics with women that would jeopardize his image of appearing “available“. This prohibits skepticism and the following inbox message “She’s cute. Is that your girlfriend?” His relationship status is not visible and is never updated. He appears (via screen) to be a really nice guy (blank stare) DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS REALLY MEANS? Ass-quakes. Ass-trays. Ass-states. Ass-shakes. It’s a plethora of ***and all he has to do is log in. When he’s bored. During halftime. Waiting to be interviewed. When his date  goes to the restroom. Waiting on the movie to begin. At work. When he can’t sleep.

Odds are there is a woman available to converse via inbox at any one of those times. Its simple math and time zone calculation (the net is worldwide baby). And those conversations are a plan. No matter how long it takes. It’s a systematic pecking order and a steady drip eventually creates a hole. Even if he never beds you, the fact that you converse with him boost his ego. When you fall out of place he can go days without communicating with you because there is always someone else. And when you reconnect it’s just like time never passed you by. Know why? Because the previous conversations are right there for you to peruse and they rekindle (over and over again) that euphoric bliss without him even saying (typing) anything additional. By this time you’re gon’. Not gone. GON’.

Once these conversations manifest into meeting for coffee or “just hanging out” half the work is done. You like him. This actually cuts down on the time it takes to get you in bed. Instantly this dude is gettin’ it in with women he would have never had a shot with. Sounds like paradise for a man – its not. It’s actually the most dangerous combination known to man. Access +Opportunity+ Yearning + Willing Participants = Internal powder keg.

Just because you can tap that doesn’t mean you should. Men do you know what you’re setting yourself up for? Let me be clear. I like men. I’ve loved a few you; one of you unconditionally. I love how men handle their business. I love the way they are with their children. I love how you can make me feel like the only girl in the world. I love how you brighten my day with the smooth sound of your voice over the phone. I love how we can talk about world events and nothing; all at the same time. Contrary to popular belief they do exist – Good Men!

So in good conscious I can’t sit back and allow your insatiable appetite to destroy your soul. I get it. Sex to you is so good it’s not even describable (Be sure to read The “4F’s – Feed him, **** Him, be Faithful & stFu sometimes” – coming soon). But you have to know and understand that for every woman you run through you are losing a piece of yourself, destroying a piece of her and relinquishing any hope of ever loving a woman unconditionally. You can front for others in the club, in the office, at the game; but don’t front on yourself. Stop believing “these hoes are all the same” and giving into the one part of you that can eradicate any hope of something sensible.

Whenever you decide to allow yourself to love and be loved – what will you have left to give? You’ll end up a shell of a person; all because of some ***. Your larger than life ego has convinced you that you should satisfy every urge and fantasy because now you can. Here’s your chance to shine. To be that dude you once envied.  To not have one dime pieces but a few. All that glitters is not gold and every sugary thing is not sweet. At the end of the day you’re a grown man. You’ll do as you please. In the course of doing what you please be mindful of that empty feeling that creeps up on you every so often. Every so often is going to turn into every day. And that 30 minutes of getting it in (I’m being very generous) with the chic you don’t even like will not be enough to fill that void that you willingly created.

Staff Writer; Nikki Woods

Also connect with this talented sista via Facebook; NikkIsTruth and Twitter; NikkiThoughts.

Can also visit her online at; http://theaffirmedtruth.blogspot.com


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