Friday, October 19, 2018

Rant Against The Extra-Average Black Woman.

September 26, 2012 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( OK, I need to rant for a minute. I just need to get this off my chest.

Sisters, I love you. God knows I do. But sometimes love includes criticism.

Personal pet peeve of mines: I’m tired of these extra-average, baggage-laden sisters complaining about the supposed lack of good black men. If I hear that old tired line ONE more time, I swear…

First off: sisters need to come back down to earth and lose that haughty spirit they carry. What about you is so special that good black men should even want to get at you? What things do you bring to the table that will enhance his life by him getting with you?

Sisters who are usually asked this question never can give a clear answer other than the usual: “well he’s getting a down female who’ll have his back.”

Really? You can’t even stand by black men and have our backs in the public eye. How do we know you’ll honor him if you do manage to catch one?

And stop thinking that you are above criticism. You’re not.

For many years I watched black women dog out the brothers in every possible public forum known to man. They did it in songs, on radio shows, in TV interviews on ABC, CNN and even on Russian TV, in the movies, in the streets.  Hell, they even dog us out at church! So guess what? Now it’s YOUR time under the spotlight of examination. Let’s really get at the root to why so many of you supposed ‘good’ sisters are without a mate.

Most of you don’t have a good black man yet because you’re not worthy of one. There, I said it. Hate me if you want, I really don’t give a damn, because this needs to be said.

What makes you worthy of a ‘good’ man? Because you have a nice butt… a sexy body…? Or is it because you were born a diva? What qualities as a woman do you possess that men should find valuable enough to entice them to marry you? I’m really curious!

Many of you are uncle Toms and sellouts, quick to go in front of white folks and throw brothers under the bus. You’ll air your dirty laundry in front of the whole world, just to gain support in your hatred and disdain for black men. Which really is just a disdain for yourselves.

You’re not even aware of how sick this makes you look in the eyes of women of other races and nationalities. For example, I talk to sisters from Africa and the Caribbean all the time. And guess what? These women think you are highly disloyal, impossible to get along with and greatly deluded. They totally don’t understand your way of thinking.

You’re quick to throw in our faces how successful you are, when most of you work average jobs just like we do. There’s nothing extra special about working an average job in an average industry. From the way many of you make it sound, one would think you worked as CEO’s of billion dollar companies or something!

Stop thinking you are above the average black man when you’re not.You work ordinary jobs, just like we do; pay taxes just like we do; pay bills just like we do. At best you’re equal. Nothing less. Nothing more.

You’re quick to mention how independent you are, as if being independent is some badge of honor to wear. Maybe for an emancipated teenager it is. But it spells nothing but trouble for a brother who’s in the know. Because relationships are a team sport. And nobody wants a ball-hogging player on their team always trying to steal the spotlight.

Ever heard this one before: I can do bad all by myself. Really? And why would you want to?! How silly is that line of reasoning? If two people were trapped in a ditch together, wouldn’t it be easier to get out if the two worked together, than if one person was trying to get out on their own?

Statements like this just helps to point out the nonsensical views many sisters have about relationships.

Maybe the reason you can’t find a good black man is because you’re so used to dating down.

Perhaps if sisters were to stop dating the lowest common denominator type of brothers, they could actually position themselves to meet the decent ones.

Now there’s a thought!

Hasn’t anyone ever told you that in relationships you attract what you are. So if you’re not attracting good brothers, what does that really say about you?

And don’t give me nothing about how educated you are. Because there’s plenty of highly educated brothers that most of y’all just ain’t checking for. In many of your eyes they’re either too soft, or too corny, or not man enough to handle you. Don’t you know that the only things in life that get ‘handled’ are usually problems?

Why is it that all these educated brothers keep slipping under your radar? Because a well put together brother who’s on his game will require you to step your game up to his level. And when it comes to relationships, many of you ladies are just plain lazy and comfortable with dealing with ratchet brothers. Real good brothers intimidate you.

Trust me when I say: if you were such a hot item, even dudes from other races would be snatching you off the market faster than you could blink. Because that’s exactly what happens to the sisters who are on top of their game in every way: body, mind, career and spirit. They get snatched and wifed up quick.

But aha! Other races of men aren’t really getting at you like that either. Why is this? After all: by your own admission you’re ‘successful’ and ‘beautiful’ and soooo independent. Either the world is blind to your value and worth or maybe, just maybe, you’re not actually the hot catch you imagine yourself to be…

Funny thing though: the ‘successful’ black men (who are successful according to your low standard of success) aren’t having this problem. When you don’t recognize them quick enough, women of other races move in swiftly to take a good brother off the market. While you’re wasting precious time and years fooling with Tyrone from the block, Marquez from IBM just got married to an Asian chick. A fine one too.

And I’m in no way advocating that black men should date outside their race or avoid sisters altogether. Its up to each person to decide individually who they want to date and interact with. But I am advocating putting some of these sisters out there on time out for a while until they get their minds right.From the experience of me and my circle of homeys, it’s not that there aren’t enough good brothers to go around: the reality is there’s not a lot of good sisters to go around for the good brothers! Numerical wise there are more black women than black men. But the pickings are very slim by the time you subtract the number of sisters who are: carrying relationship baggage, those who hate their fathers and project it onto the next guy, those who occasionally ‘lick the clit’ or who are juggling multiple dingalings, those who are too ghetto for even the hood to deal with, those who are too religious for even Jesus to deal with, those who are outright unsightly or morbidly obese, and those already in committed relationships…It’s time sisters turned off the TV set, put down those ghetto love books, and did some serious self-reflection. Step your damn game up! Or ten years from now, when someone refers to a lonely old cat-lady, the image they have in mind might be you…

Staff Writer; Mack Major ||

One may connect with this talented writer also through Twitter; NewUrbanView and Facebook; FlipTheGame.



233 Responses to “Rant Against The Extra-Average Black Woman.”
  1. Ramses says:

    @Jennifer….I listen to what you’re saying Jennifer. However, we have to go back to a policy that has adversely affected Black people as a collective: and that’s Integration. Now we had leaders (Garvey, Martin Delaney, Booker T Washington) who tried to give us a blueprint on how to move forward economically. However, our people chose dependency, including women. Black women need to ask themselves this question: would you rather have a Man that owns his own business or work for another man? This is very important in how I tie this policy (Integration) into the present condition of our people, especially women. After slavery, our Men were the most skilled in the country. This is a fact. The curse of slavery actually allowed us to be blessed with the skills necessary for the new industrial age that was shaping up. This skill made it impossible for white males to compete with us. Booker T tried to hone in on this skill labor culminating in his opening up the Tuskegee Institute which not only taught blacks skills but morals as well. Booker T told Black people to shut up and not worry about college education for the present moment and focus on skill labor to build up the community because if they did that, then they could become a force politically in the future and move in the fields of so-called “higher education.” (See Speech at Atlanta Cotton Exposition). However, our history relegates Booker T as a sellout because he wasn’t on that hate whitey tirade a lot of our so-called leaders do now, still finding themselves broke. This is why Marcus Garvey wanted to meet him. However, Booker T died before he got a chance to meet him unfortunately. However, look at what Garvey was able to accomplish. Under the UNIA, Garvey was able to grow membership of the organization into the millions w/o facebook, twitter, or myspace. He had boats lined up to go to Liberia to do business but unfortunately, negroes transported to Liberia after slavery, who ended up setting up Monrovia, sold him out. And to make it worse, WEB Dubois engaged in hatred towards him strictly on some color complex syndrome (sounds familiar). Now the one institution, that we were taught that had our backs (the church) finished the process off by convincing us that it was in our best interest to integrate. Now there is enough data as well as elders who will tell you that things were much better in the community when we relied on each other solely. It wasn’t perfect, but the moral values were better, faith was better, and businesses were on point too. Now what happened was that during the late 1800’s and early 1900’s there was an influx of european immigrants who were brought in to take away the power base of black people (see irish potato famine) (see I, because we had the ability to demand a fair share of the pie because of our skilled labor and some of the political success we had in the south. However this would have been ok if we had stuck with the self-reliant theme that people like Booker T and Garvey espoused back then. However, when the church establishment advocated this policy, this was a crossroad for our people. We either could have kept building together and struggling together, or we could have sold out. We let preachers, true to their form, hoodwink us into believing we were better off with government programs, than businesses (the same preachers who in slavery who would preach to us, with a white man sitting there making sure he didn’t say anything he didn’t approve of). 60-70 years later we see the results of what this has done to us collectively. Now I asked the question earlier towards black women because this will determine your success with your men, if you really look at them as your men. Their is categorical evidence showing that there were policies put in place to tempt you to turn your back on your men. There were policies put into place that were meant to weaken your men, thus weakening your race. So now, your men go to jail just for a place to stay, while you slave your jobs, wasting your youth miserable, thinking that you love independence, when in reality, your notion of independence was given to you by someone tempted you to forsake your men in the first place, and leave yourselves defenseless. Because one things clear, who will protect you in a disastrous situation, if they can’t protect themselves? However, we have to take a look at what helped this thing take hold. Feminism was the ideology that allowed women the notion of having strength over men. And unfortunately, a lot of black women fell for this ruse. See your men was attacked but they used you in the process. Has working these jobs really made you any richer? Has not having your men around their kids made your kids more obedient? Has your feelings of loneliness worked out for you? And to top it all off, your churches, that tricked you into giving up your power, drive the final nail home and take what little money you do have or make you feel bad about not being able to tithe to a God who has the ability to create the World (so what does he need a your money for). So when you decide not to support a black man, because he appears to be a bum, you undo yourself because he should be your investment yet you look at him as a weakling. This bitterness is borrowed bitterness. Success to a Woman should be a husband and beautiful children. A job is not success. how many women out here in their 20’s had good jobs, got a mortgage, and 20-25 years later lost these same jobs and wrecked their credit and lost their houses in the process and are now looking for men now? I am not blaming caucasians anymore for our position anymore because i am not giving them power like that. To keep saying they were responsible solely for our positions is ludicrous. That means we are totally helpless and that is not who I am. I am not helpless mentally. We have to take responsibility for our own actions in the past that has lead to our weak position. The one thing i admire about our Aztec (Mexican) brothers and sisters is that they do exactly what our ancestors (Booker T) advocated. It’s working. What has all this feminism, gay marriage, independence done for our community? Nothing but destroyed it. That paradigm of hating whitey to me is played out. Jennifer, your mother’s statement further confirms the reality that is here. We have to remember that a lot of the things we learned in life has been wrong. We have to undo the damage that people have caused us, including parents, to learn how silly we are. Even Malcolm said “I am going to spend the rest of my life undoing the damage I’ve done.” This was in reference to the hate doctrine he was preaching (although I overstand the necessity of it at the time because black people were hating themselves and loving their supposed enemy more just like now). I remember going to the Malcolm X Grassroots Festival in Atlanta in 2008. I was so appalled at what I saw out there. There were so many black females holding hands out there, it was ridiculous. While I’m looking for a wife, these females were sitting there in my face cheesing like nothing was wrong. I never forgot that day. How lonely it made me feel. Not because I couldn’t find a wife throughout the world because even then I knew I could. It was more like a loneliness stemming from “these are the people I am fighting for?” I mean I am wasting my time on this right here? From that point right there, I felt that I am a Man without a people. And still do in terms of relating to Black people. But the funny thing is when I decided to embrace humanity, outside of the confines of “race”, my hopelessness dissipated. I realized that Black people’s burdens are not my own anymore, and such a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I don’t have to explain why black people do dumb stuff. I can get on a site like this and give my unfiltered assessment of the state of affairs without feeling like I have to solve the problems for the entire group. In order for Black people to be cleaned, we have to accept responsibility for our roles in our present state of affairs. John Henrik Clarke said “a people who are oppressed have to lower themselves to make room for their oppressor to stand on their back.” Until Black people come to terms with their betrayal of their messengers, they will never receive any blessings they seek and if material is what you seek, then you are of no consequence to me or the leaders I revere and hold dear. Knowledge of self is the key. If you think boogeyman religions will set you free then good luck. What allowed to rise in the 1800’s? Science. What has allowed America to be dominant in the 1900’s? Science. What made Egypt dominate during it’s time? The Intertwining of Science and religion. Europe did not ascend because of Christianity? They were Christian before Moors came. What built Europe up was the technological innovations (like sewer systems) that allowed a poor group of people to flush their excrement, instead of throwing it out the windows in the cities. Egypt was not Christian at all and was still dominant. Females get on here and argue but lack the intelligence to have a serious debate because they are so ignorant, they don’t even realize that embodiment of the virgin goddess came from the black woman! She was only turned into a white woman when people who became dominant, over the original, began telling the stories. Like they say, nothing knew under the sun (including your religious stories). That’s why your religious books say “Translations” or King James Version. Who the hell is he? What makes him authentic? Translation does not mean original. But when you only focus on gaining material, instead of attaining knowledge of self, then you fall for any story someone tells you because purses and shoes are your vices. We are in an information age. So therefore, no excuses can be made for people and their desire to stay ignorant including black women. It’s that simple. If men want to chase these black women in strip clubs then they will suffer as well too. Neither one can escape the wrath. This statement say it all Jennifer:

    My mom said that men have been the same since the beginning of time and that women had changed. Men have always wanted the same core things from a long time partner. Men have always been aggressively pursuing women and to further their seed/lineage. She said that black women were “good” girls in her day. They were selective with their bodies and cared about their reputations and virtue. They were raised to support, nurture, love and marry. They took pride in being good women and humbling themselves before their husbands.

    Like I say all the time, Men are consistent. It’s the women who are all over the place

    @Sankofa, you know the deal. The reason why I got off that hate whitey thing is because they are pawns too. Hell they don’t know shit either. There are dumb ass whites just like there are dumb ass blacks. The pigmentation is the only thing that separates them. This recession has taught a lot of white men what it feels like to be in the shoes of the black man. Before it was all about working hard and making yourself marketable (a nice way of saying make yourself a more compliant slave). They did that and still got laid off. Now after being out of work for years, the reality has set in that they were considered meaningless just like a lot of brothers were (hence the term “he-cession”). I’ve seen stories where working white men resorted to robbing banks to feed their families. However, when we did it, it was because we were shiftless and wouldn’t look for work! This recession was a blessing to me because it knocked a lot of arrogant people down to earth. People were more focused on things than each other. Now the question is will the people change for the better? I think some will, but a lot won’t and this is why change is slow because people can clearly see change is needed and still won’t do what’s necessary to make it happen, while some of us see it and make it happen. That’s why you can’t sit hoping black people will get it together because you will miss out on the beauty this world has to offer. Hell I’m trying to go the beach next year in Colombia. That’s the real evolution to me (notice I didn’t put an r on it). The less poor Moors that’s out here the better for society as a whole and I don’t plan on being poor. I got to have the real stuff. Hell I can’t wear fake jewelry. If I tried to my skin would break out. So I know I’m made for the real stuff. Wu Tang said it best in 97
    On the song “A Better Tomorrow”

    Yo, in the housing, thousands seen early graves
    Victims of wordly ways, memories stays engraved
    All my live brothers, is locked down with high numbers
    The young hunger, blind to these lies, they die younger
    In this New World the Order slaughter men, women, and children
    Ten feet gates surround the building keep us sealed in
    The projects, lifeless like a vietnam vet
    Constant war, sever threats of enemy conquest
    Crooked cops comb my building complex that’s in the rumble
    Streets are like a jungle, can’t let my cypher crumble
    Vivid thoughts, Devils resort to trick knowledge
    They kick garbage, lust for chicks and quick dollars
    I know the pain the game bring, I did the same thing
    Spaced out in the staircase, performing a sting
    It’s hard to keep control, I bless those who seek a scroll
    Trying to reach a whole nation and break the sleeper hold
    Not a role model, I walk a hard road to follow
    I sold bottles of sorrow then chose poems and novels
    The gospel was told, some souls it swallowed whole
    Mentally they fold, and they eventually sold
    their life and times, deadly like the virus design
    but too, minute to dilute, the scientist mind

    Chorus: You can’t party your life away
    Drink your life away
    Smoke your life away
    Fuck your life away
    Dream your life away
    Scheme your life away
    Cause your seeds grow up the same way

    Y’all bitches love dances, and pulling down your pants
    while your man’s on tour, your spending up his advances
    Your friends ain’t shit, all they do is drink, smoke, and suck dick
    The whole projects is trapped in stench
    You either high school drop-outs, one to three cop-outs
    Fifteen years old, shorty ass and top out
    Ninety-nine cent beer drinking pussy stinking
    Fucking so much your ass and titties start shrinking
    New World Order slave trade, minimum wage, Medicaid
    Can a devil fool a Muslim nowadays
    Inside my lab, I’m going mad
    Took two drags off the blunts, and started breaking down the flag
    The blue is for the Crips, the red is for the Bloods
    The whites for the cops, and the stars come from the clubs
    or the slugs that ignites, through the night, by the dawn
    Early light, why is sons fighting for the stripe

    [Method Man]
    As we dwell through this concrete hell, calling it home
    Mama say, take your time young man and build your own
    Don’t wind up like your old dad
    Still searching for them glory days he never had
    So many bad want to scheme for American dream, no more kings
    The cash rule everything now, we going down
    These babies looking up to us, it’s up to us
    The Million Man March MC’s, get on the bus
    But envy, greed, lust, and hate, separate
    Though the devil mind state blood kin cannot relate
    No longer, brothers, we unstable
    Like Kane when he slew Abel, killing each other

    Take heed to these words people. This was in 97. There were always brothers sounding the alarm at the gate but the people were too drunk (off of ignorance) to listen. We were all mad at the government when Katrina happened but when we were down their killing each other like a sport, no one ever said black people don’t care about black people. Hell we bragged about it in rap songs about new orleans being the murder capital of the world.

  2. sankofa says:

    @Jennifer…as a man it is profoundly impactful when an African woman can see behind the ego and emotionalism to overstand the difference between base less attacks and constructive criticism. For a long time we men have tried the “nice guy” approach only to be ignored, disrespected and counter attacked for not being manly enough. These attacks cones from a combination of egotism, emotionalism and the old knee-grow transference and association from our ancestors communal approach and love for each other to the pyramidal top down approach of the Caucasian social structure, where shit falls down. And guess who’s at the top of the pyramid and whose approach is deemed most relevant? Yes! the same Caucasian male beast that put us in the same place in the first place. When MEN, not boys, not males (incomplete men), not niggahs decide to be ourselves and drop the hammer, because the nice guy approach deems us and gets us deemed, soft and disrespected, we end up getting demonized. Mack and Ramses are exercising something I believe is paramount to being a man and that being “I would rather you hate me for being righteous than accepting me for being accommodating”. Notice I said accept and not like. No sane person LIKES an accommodating ass, especially when in accommodating you are enabling their own bullshit.

    It is said that insults is the last vestigial of the ignorant, because when idiots have no logical response to a point put forth they attack your image, your mental make up, your sexuality…anything to get you off your game.

    This is why this thread is by far has the most hit on this blog. It is hitting home and demons and cancerous growth have to be exercised and cut out before the healing can proceed. I can only speak for myself, when i say that I love African woman, and my Afrocentric self cannot see myself being with others, despite the logic of finding just a complementary other, but these knee-grow females make it hard for even the staunchest brother to not start looking over the fence.

    There was a time I would go all in like Mack and Ramses, but I have really stop giving a shit wasting time with people who have more energy for chaos than ma’at. I am striving to practice what Dr. John Henrick Clark proclaimed: “I am not here to debate, I debate with my equals, all others I teach!”

    However, I still reserve the right to charge up Yurugu’s bastard children, when they step to flex, cause Nat turner was my spiritual grand father.

    If knee-grows come up in a forum like this to fight, it’s not a debate, there fore they are not my equal. If there is honest attempts at asking questions and making a point then we debate. It is obvious by your consecutive post that you are equal in your pursuit of truth and honest enough to admit that you may lack here or there. But we all learn and we all grow, so keep growing sister, truth is consistent despite opinions.

  3. Jennifer says:


    I fully understand your message. I am in full agreement. I know that there are circumstances that have led black women to feel like they have to be “strong/independent”. I think the demise of many black women did come from an earnest attempt to maintain their family structures. There was a time that the keystone of the black family (black males) were vigorously under attack. Our men were enemy number one of the government and all aspects of success. The black male was being attacked by the judicial system and various drugs and/or alcohol. Many of these men had served in the military that left them not sound mentally which is often why they turned to the drugs in the first place. Many of these men were jailed for various reasons such as racial profiling. When I was a small child in California (early 80’s), I remember that a lot of my friends were being raised by grandparents, their actual parents were either locked up or in jail. Men were missing in the communities there. That is when women got the notion, from sheer will to survive to be “independent”. Our women were put against our men in the media and our communities. I remember reading an article about how black females were excelling in areas of career and education while our males were declining.

    These independent women were working so hard and still loosing because when you remove a mother from a home to drugs or even working like a slave the family suffers. I feel as though these women were angry and while undergoing the stress of doing everything by yourself, we left our men when they really needed us. These angry women raised angry daughters.

    With time our men began to rebuild. Mack’s article speaks of true facts about how well the black male is doing today. There are lots of good black men today. More attention was brought to corrupt government plans such as cointelpro and many men fought to even the playing fields. While black men are still hunted by law agencies, they are aware of those dangers and a lot less of our men are addicted to hard drugs. Many black men are thriving today!

    My mom said that men have been the same since the beginning of time and that women had changed. Men have always wanted the same core things from a long time partner. Men have always been aggressively pursuing women and to further their seed/lineage. She said that black women were “good” girls in her day. They were selective with their bodies and cared about their reputations and virtue. They were raised to support, nurture, love and marry. They took pride in being good women and humbling themselves before their husbands.

    The reason that I feel like it is important for articles like this one to be taken very seriously is because many black women do need a wake up call. Many black women are still caught up in hurt of yesteryear. Somewhere in the shuffle black women stopped seeing value in being “women”. Many black women compete with their men. You can always count on them bragging about their scholarly achievements, their big careers and so on. Black women stopped taking pride in nurturing our men, taking care of our men, cooking, cleaning and raising healthy children.

    I hope that the target audience (extra average) will take heed to articles like this or just from where ever the information comes from. There is lots of feedback out today from foreigners, other races and most importantly black men as to how well black women are perceived. You would be a fool not to listen to constructive criticism and see if it not only applies to you but if you can learn anything from it. I look forward to the rebound of more black women, we are a beautiful and loving people, I can’t wait until more of us get back to being your partners, allies, lovers and friends.

  4. Ramses says:

    @Jennifer Point well received. This was the point I was trying to get at overall. Unlike a lot of females out here, you don’t feel that your reverence towards your man lessens you as a Woman. You realize it enhances you. For instance, if I open the car door for a Woman first before I get in, does that make me less than a Man? Absolutely not. Do I have to do it? No. WHy do I do it? Because, to me, it’s my way of showing care and concern about her in a small way. Honoring a Woman (not a bitch) is not something I have ever had a problem with as a Man. But like you said Jennifer, the same things I say about black women in general, which is said by other black women is well, is blasphemous when I say it. Black women have been saying the same thing about one another for years and I initially didn’t want to believe it. It’s only through my experience that I see it as true. Do I want it to be this way? Of course not. But I’m not afraid to face the truth when I see it. Like you said Jennifer, you had some unspoken, unwritten allegiance to them that is common not only in other black women, but as in men too and it’s unhealthy. When Bill Cosby came out a few years ago, he received a lot of negative press for his criticisms of black women as well. This is a Man who specifically chose the kids he chose in terms of their skin tone so people wouldn’t get the impression he was biased towards one particular skin tone. Damn if Bill Cosby can’t speak on these matters, then who can? I mean he gave us positive images of the “Black Family” albeit he did play the role of the bumbling father sometimes which comes from the feminist slant. Black women are no different than any other group of people out here. If they want a black man they need to do what it takes to keep one around like any other group of women on the planet. This notion that they don’t have to work hard for one of us is ludicrous. A Man like myself is very observant. I read body language, your tone of voice when you talk,, your topic of discussion when you speak, your style of dress when I look at a woman. If it does not fit my profile, you can be Halle Berry for all I care I would not approach you in any capacity. In the end women, as individuals, have to prove their worth to whatever men they choose to deal with. Thinking that a black man will just be with you just based on racial dynamics alone is thinking of old. We have given this world to much in terms of religion, science, art, philosophy, etc. We have been the men that have been in the belly of the beast who sacrificed our lives trying to awaken people’s consciousness so that society will be good for everyone (Malcolm, Martin, Marcus). If you can’t separate yourself from the pack as a woman, then you will be stuck with the pack thirsty and hungry women. It’s that simple. One thing I can agree with with black women out here is that we don’t owe you anything just like you’ll feel you all don’t owe us anything. So what it comes down to is displaying what you value as a woman. That’s not a racial thing but a human thing.

  5. Staff says:

    Glad to see a fellow creole here… Yes the owner has creole roots…

  6. Jennifer says:


    I just want to reiterate that I appreciate you using the forum that you have to discuss such matters. I disagree with your account of Ramses and my interactions. You summed up things as “First they come at you rah-rah. Then you check them.” I did challenge some of his statements (rah-rah). I don’t feel checked by Ramses, I feel enlightened. I feel like he was eloquent enough to explain his position and share very personal aspects of himself and experiences. “Going off” on people on the internet is obviously very informal. When we first began interacting, we were BOTH being quite disrespectful. Ramses made the experience tangible. He reminds me of my husband, a man that I hold all of the respect in the world for. When we began I was fighting to say that there are good American black women still out here. What I didn’t really understand was that neither you or Ramses ever said that all black women were bad. One of the things that I learned from this experience is that I have got to stop grouping myself with women just based on the fact that they are black. I have pledged some sort of unspoken/unwritten allegiance to all black women. When I think of black women I think of all of my Creole aunts and cousins and my sister. I don’t firstly think of these damaged and ill raised women. I had to reread your article after I had stopped being so emotional by the initial shock.

    You are right in something else that stated, women (in the classical meaning of the word) will respect a strong man. I was bread to respect men, My mom never told me that I was a man’s equal. I know that may sound bad to some but she told me that men were stronger (physically); that in itself is evidence that God designed man to lead. There are ways that women are strong too. I use my strength to NOT combat my husband unnecessarily. I pick my battles. A woman’s strength is quiet most of them time. Some of these independent women are missing the mark on the whole strength thing.

  7. Ramses says:

    @Mack just saw that movie clip…bruh we are not wrong lol…I feel so stupid for defending them all those years. i would have laid down my life years ago to defend them….boy what a waste that would have been

  8. Ramses says:

    @LillyoftheValey: The mistake you make, like countless other females is you approach the situation from a “level” Let me give you a few examples. Women ask their “God”, whoever that might be to send them a good man. A lot of times, they get this but don’t recognize what that is. See the beauty of a diamond is formed in the sediment (dirt) of earth, over a long period of time. Good Men are like this. Men, by nature, are not really conformists. We’re not rebellious in the way that women can be, however. We try to figure out our own path in different ways while females tend to try to fit in. That’s why in school, girls are considered to be good and boys are considered bad because females tend to not want to disappoint. In other words Men try to forage their own paths a lot of times and in doing so, their success, whatever that may be, sometimes comes later.

    It doesn’t mean you’re not a good just because you didn’t go to school and finish in 4 years and go get a job like most women do out here. Women seek security, whereas Men feel secure within themselves already. You ask for a Man to be on your level but that is a class perspective. You practice class warfare on these Men simply because you have a Master’s degree but don’t realize it. Yet you say black men value other women of other races as better than black women. I would be very interested into knowing what was this white boys status when you dated him. How is it ok for you to say you don’t date loser bum black dudes, but find a problem with us saying the same thing? That’s the hypocrisy we speak of. It’s assumed that all Black Women are quality but we have to go above and beyond to prove we are. This aversion to black women is based off of their mindset, not aesthetics.

    If I would have used the logic that you used when I met my ex-wife (Haitian) I wouldn’t have married her. When I met her, she was an illegal alien. She lived with her aunt and uncle and was really stuck in a hard place. None of that came into my mind when we married. The fact that I felt she was the ideal woman for me at the time was all that I needed. Class had absolutely nothing to do with it. I would never tell any woman, including a black woman, to be with a Man with no ambition including brothers. But don’t mistake a Man in the process of achieving goals as evidence he’s not worth anything or is a bum. It’s a process trying to achieve success. It doesn’t happen over night. The beauty in forging good relationships is by going through the fire. People nowadays are under the impression that all relationships are meant to be real easy and this is not true. A lot of times, when people’s relationships hit a bump it dissolves because people lack the strength to make it through the hard times. You hear women wanting all types of Men with all this money. You rarely hear women say they want a Man that actually loves them and cares for them.

    Not one time in your response did the word Love come up. Just like many responses on here, your response centered strictly on a man’s class position rather than his heart. There are a lot of men who treat women like pure dirt and their are women who are content with this treatment as long as they can where their expensive heels and clothing (Basketball Wives is an example of this). Since I’ve been on this website, the word Love has rarely used by black women on here. Maybe black women should start at that concept first and then work their way from their first. Because it’s funny how when Black Men have money, and they get a different ethnicity, black women still have a problem with this choice even though they think the same. What does your degree have to do with you loving a Man? Does school teach you how to co-exist with Man? No. So why does it come up in reference to dealing with one? The same Man you call a bum gets with different women of other groups and thrives. Why? Because he’s valued as a Man first whether he’s a millionaire or makes 12,000 a year.

    When I’ve dealt with white women, Puerto Rican women, Indian women etc, my status never came up because it wasn’t there business first of all. Now if we decide to be together and move forward these things come into play only in terms of how we want to build together and what’s the best course of action to do that. For instance, I could work a job that brings in more money than your job and we decide that because you want to finish school faster, you quit your job so you can focus on your studies or vice versa. Black women think because they have curves and all that (some of them) they think they get to circumvent the natural ways in which men and women traditionally form long lasting relationships: you work at them. Outside of your degrees, based of of your comments, you don’t seem to offer anything of consequence to me. Why is it considered you dating down, as a black woman, when you come across a black man who is in transition, just like other people, but when he has all his stuff together and you don’t it’s not dating down? Double-standard to me. That’s the beautiful thing about the Creator.

    You ask for the diamond and you get it. But some people think they pick up dirt and throw it down. Other’s pick it up, brush the dirt off, and realize they have a diamond. The same dirt you picked up, that you thought was meaningless, another woman did and found the diamond in the rough. This notion that black men value other women over black women just because they are of other ethnicities is ludicrous. The internet is full of sites where black women do this under degrading conditions (See Ghetto Gaggers). Black Men are valuing women who value them. If we are considered bums then why does it matter. If I am the bum dude you talk about, then why do you care if I value someone other than you that’s not black? i asked my ex a few years back :If black men ain’t shit, why do you get so offended when we date outside our group?” She said “it’s like we really don’t want you’ll but we don’t want you’ll to go anywhere else and be happy.” Black women want us to stay miserable even when they don’t really want a lot of us. This is silliness. So when Mack says Extra Average, he’s so on point because these chicks who think they’re all that, have no idea how low they really are and it’s actually comical for them to say a Man is not on her level.

    What if I told you that if you are not a virgin, as a Man, you couldn’t be my wife? Could you handle that? I mean you say that when a Man isn’t economically successful he’s a bum right? You make it a class thing right? Well me wanting a virgin is a class thing too, but just with a different spin on it. I’m pretty sure you would say I was being pretty harsh right? And I’ve never been the type who discriminated against darks skin females. But they can be just as arrogant as light skin ones I’ve learned over the years. You might want to reassess your ways of thinking if you really want to be successful with a brother. Talk to some brothers. Ask them how they really feel about black women and really make them be honest with you. You’d be surprised to hear their perspective. I have a degree and I have never discriminated against black women the way black women do black men who don’t have degrees.

    I would date a chick and marry her from the projects if she really was a good woman and in my opinion, hood chicks tend to be better than educated chicks. The problem is you have to catch them before they get corrupted. But they tend to be a whole lot more loyal than educated chicks from suburbian backgrounds too me. I’ve come across hood chicks who are way more down than college chicks. Reading this site lets me know that most black women have no idea what is going on with black men.

    I mean most of you are so lost as to our needs, fears, concerns, wants I’m surprised we are having this discussion. The only thing that gives you all chance with us is the loyalty we have. I mean you come on a site full of black men telling their experiences about their women, and most of the women on here speak of their degree as if it’s the Holy Grail.

  9. Mack says:

    @ LilyoftheValley: You said:

    “I know I am a catch… but for the life of me I cannot find a boyfriend!!”


    You also said:”The first guy I dated was white because black males were never interested in me!! I know it’s because I am dark skinned.”


    Then you mentioned: “Of course guys do approach me, but it’s never guys who are “on my level” so I never accept. Basically the guys who approach me are the bum loser black men…”


    I’m curious about how many kids you have, if any, because you didn’t mention anything about them in your list. I’m also curious about the type of community you grew up in, as well as the type you live in now.

    If the only guys approaching you are the dusty type, you must be in a dusty area. Because dusty hood niggas rarely travel outside the confinements of the hood.

    And for the record: contrary to a lot of opinions, dusty men don’t run after females who look like they’re about business. Dusty bum niggas like dusty chicks and hoodrats. That’s their type. They’ll pass by ten corporate looking chicks and run up on the first purple weave wearing hoodrat they see.

    So if the decent brothers ain’t approaching you, and the hood negroes are, something tells me you’re carrying yourself in a way that attracts the wrong kind of attention. I won’t elaborate on that here.

    There were red flags all over your comment, and I don’t say this to disparage you in any way, so please don’t take it like that. You brought up some interesting points, so I’m just responding. Its a fallacy to think that ALL of any group is one way or the other. This goes for black women as well as men. Even though I’ve been accused of putting all sisters in the same box, that’s just not the case. My rant dealt with a specific type of sister. And for you to tell me all black men, except for the dusty ones and unattractive white guys, are the only ones getting at you, my BS radar starts going off.

    I’m not denying the existence of colorism. But its far more prevalent among black women then it is with black men. Part of the reason behind the whole ‘Good Hair’ debate. Ever hear of Jack and Jill of America; or the Blue Vein society? These were groups started with chapters all across America by light-skinned black WOMEN for the purpose of elevating themselves socially based on how light their skin was. Darker skinned women were excluded from participation.

    Do your research.

    Most brothers seeking someone to settle down with could care less if she was dark or light; though some have their preference. Most of us don’t have an aversion to darker skin tone. At the end of the day, we just want someone who has the capacity to honor, respect us and play the submissive role a woman is naturally designed for. Skin lightness is a non-factor.

    But I will say this, which will cause more controversy I’m sure: in most inner city areas, light skinned chicks catch hell from the darker hued sisters. They get picked on more, attacked and beat up more and made fun of by the darker girls who are jealous of them. And we all know this to be the case. Those are black females treating each other that way. Some of the gulliest chicks in the hood…check out their skin tone. Mostly dark, is it not? Could this also be the reason dudes tend to desire after the lighter-skinned chicks more; because they don’t carry themselves as gutter as the browner sisters? Men are mostly attracted to women who exhibit more feminine traits; not all that ‘rah rah’ mess. And growing up in the hood, which group of sisters tend to carry themselves more feminine: the lighter or the darker ones?

    I know this isn’t the case for everyone across the board, so please don’t start sending me a bunch of emails. I know this won’t apply to ALL of you. But light skinned sisters out there know exactly what I speak of. I’m just trying to give you some things to think about.

    As for white males historically having a natural aversion for sisters, thats absolutely false. I’ve talked before on this site about Tawawa House out in Ohio, which was a resort during slavery days where white slave owners from the south could take their black slave mistresses on vacations. Y’all really need to do your research. Black women have historically always shared a special relationship with white men. They couldn’t keep their dicks out of sisters. My own grandmother from my mother’s side of the fam is the child of a ‘special’ relationship between her mother and the white man she worked for as a domestic servant.

    So its not that sisters are choosing NOT to get with these white dudes; like you’re so loyal to us you just won’t do it. By your own admission your first boyfriend was white. So we know you would get with one if you could. My question to you is: why are you mad when brothers are doing it too?

    Again, just giving you some things to think about.

  10. Mack says:

    This is what you sisters have exported to other lands. This is why I go so hard against the belligerent attitudes and the destructive mindsets. See what the rest of the world thinks about you: especially those of you who claim white men are waiting to accept you with open arms? Why don’t I see any anger directed towards this:

  11. LillyoftheValley says:

    I have to make a rebuttal. I speak for the classy black women out there or the “catches” of the world. I know I am a catch. I’m soft spoken, not argumentative, I’m thin and go to the gym often, I have a masters degree and will be going to medical school in two years. I speak French, I know how to cook and play the harp. People say that I’m very easy to get along with and I’m often told that I’m very pretty by men of all races, but for the life of me I cannot find a boyfriend!! I’ve only had one boyfriend (my parents were strict and I wasn’t allowed to date until age 21). The first guy I dated was white because black males were never interested in me!! I know it’s because I am dark skinned. My ex boyfriend use to work with black males who would tell him they don’t understand how he could date a black woman because apparently all black women are “manipulative, crazy, depressed, bisexual nut cases”. My ex boyfriend was always shocked by their racist statements as I was of course never like this. We broke up because the relationship became long distance and neither of us could tolerate it. Now I am single and have been for 2 years. I can’t seem to find a proper boyfriend. I’m starting to feel discouraged. Of course guys do approach me, but it’s never guys who are “on my level” so I never accept. Basically the guys who approach me are the bum loser black men, and white men who I am not attracted to. The black guys that I am attracted to seem to only like non black females. I feel like they see them as a prize.

    The point of this response is to illustrate that not all black women who are beautiful and educated with good heads on their shoulders are “wifed up” immediately. There is a very sick and deep rooted aversion to black women that is completely unfair. I have a hard time finding a black man to love and it is not my fault. The majority of successful black males prefer women of other races because it is seen as a step up to have a non-black woman. And white males have a natural aversion to us for three reasons

    1) The history
    2) They don’t think black women would date them
    3) They’re just not attracted.

    The same can be said for men of other races. So dating for your “above average” black woman is not remotely easy. This article that you have written tries to perpetuate that if a black woman is single, it is all her fault. However, you refuse to realize that there are problems in the black community such as colorism that also causes problems for black women in terms of dating. I was very saddened to read your article.

  12. Ramses says:

    @Mack yeah it seems as if it’s a beat down or bash session because they are not used to hearing black men telling them to get back in line. It’s not all of their fault but ultimately their responsibility. I mean if you’re not married, and you have men telling you in an articulate manner, what they require from you, then it’s imperative that you listen. Nothing in nature conforms to the weaker entity. A lot of black women think that black men have to give up manhood to be with them. It’s backwards. Women are supposed to trade their freedom for love and love from a man is his willingness to protect them. But it’s funny how these females claim independence but go out to dinner with them and see if they reach in their purse when the check comes. The word equality doesn’t come int to equation then and that’s the dilemma. They pick and choose when they wan you to be a Man. When it comes to their material wants, then you have to be a traditional Man. But when you try to tell them to act in a proper maner, which will make them more attractive to you, then they tell you “you can’t tell me what the hell to do.” That’s the disconnect right there. Every black woman needs to take a look at herself, especially those who are not married, and ask themselves what would make a Man want to spend the rest of his life with me? What do I offer (besides sex) that would endear me to him? This is a question most of these females don’t contemplate because they want to be a diva (drama queen). They need to take off that “Super Black Woman” cape and put on a kitchen apron and learn the traditional art forms (cooking and cleaning) that will create an environment in which a Man looks forward to coming home. Black men and men in general deal with too mcuh crap in the world so the last place they need conflict and drama in is the home. The home should be his oasis away from the madness in the world. Can’t be a housewife and clubhopper at the same time. But like I said earlier Mack, this is not our responsibility to teach them these things in the first place. I mean how many times in your past, when you’ve dealt with females, and you might have slighted them in some way and didn’t know it and they stopped calling you. Then come to find out later she stopped calling or talking with you for some misconception she had about what you were or said. Most of the times, they respond like this, they expect you to know what not to do. “A Man is always supposed to know how Women think.” However, when it’s them in the wrong, they think completely opposite. They got every excuse in the book. They Dad wasn’t around, they dog died, and a whole host of other ridiculous excuses that don’t match up to basic human decency. I’m not asking a black woman to kiss my ass at all because I am not full of myself. But I do demand respect on a basic human level. And what’s even funnier, if you deal with them as a collective they get upset. “Don’t compare me to other females. I’m my own female. I ain’t like them other bitches.” This is what they say about one another. But then they trun around, when they try to avoid accountability to you for mistakes they make they say “well you know how women are.” What is it? Either you’re your own woman or you’re like every other female that’s out here. You ever have situations with black women when it’s not even a question that they are in the wrong. I mean you know she did some foul shit. And all you were expecting from them was an apology based off of human decency and instead you got them ignoring you. They stop calling you because they didn’t want to apologize to you. I mean you have black females who will walk away from good men just because they won’t apologize to them for wrong they did. It’s not about bashing you for wrong because we all are gonna make our mistakes. But when you walk away from situations not because you were treated unfairly but, because you weren’t Woman enough to own up to a mistake you made and didn’t want to come clean. Now that’s beyond over-the-top. I’m not perfect at all. But I am willing to admit my mistakes when I commit them. They are so used to being unaccountable for their actions, the most basic things they do wrong on a consistent basis, they think they are not in the wrong about. I mean if someone speaks to you (a black man) and you turn your lip up at him, or snarl and your excuse is “I’m sick of all these dudes trying to holler at me” then clearly you are sick because if you didn’t want all these dudes approaching you, then common sense would tell you get a ring because when Men see this, most of them respect it and don’t approach unless you give him the impression that he can approach you. But then when these same Men you complained about hollering at you stop, and then start hollering at other women of other ethnicities, then you’re mad. About ten years ago an ex of mine stated to her own daughter concerning me “she said damn girl. You’re not happy when he’s here. You’re not happy when he’s gone. Damn, he can’t do both.” We approach them they got the bitter beer face. We stop and start approaching Beck because she has a more pleasing disposition they’re mad too. The difference between black men and women, for the most part, black men want black women to add to their happiness especially when they’re looking for wives, black women want black men to make them happy. To different philosophies at odds. And black women can’t say black men don’t make them feel beautiful out here. If you are a beautiful black woman out here, brothers go out their way to tell you these things. But Mack you and I both know that too many of these females got their faces in the media, an entity which makes billions off of generating discontent, especially in women, so that they will go out their and buy products that make you feel good about yourself when you don’t have a man. You have women out here who value high heels more than a strong Man in the bed. A Coach bag is more important than a Man? Clothes can accentuate the beauty in a Woman but I always say you make the clothes, the clothes don’t make you. Whether I’m wearing wrangler jeans or an Armani suit, I feel like I look good regardless. I’m not a billionaire yet, but i speak like I’m one already because it’s the confidence within myself I have. What we don’t overstand that this arrogance being promulgated by black women is really a mask for low self-esteem. That’s why they’re constantly seeking attention. I call these types “attention whores.” With all of these blogs and websites and books showing how black men are feeling towards black women, and these black women still choose not to change, then they deserve the destruction that is upon their heads. Hopefully, some will heed the message and that’s beautiful. For the rest……..

  13. Mack says:

    @ Ramses: No doubt! Keep dropping those gems.

    Interesting observation, because I’ve seen this happen numerous times in my own life with females like Jenifer. And this is not to disparage her in anyway, only to make a point. I actually applaud her for being so honest.

    First they come at you rah-rah. Then you check them. They come back even harder. But you stand your ground firmly and refuse to back down. Once she see’s you won’t bend, she becomes intrigued. Her mind becomes open. And the same way she opposed you, she now becomes teachable and cooperative. Now why is this?

    In my opinion its because sisters are used to running into guys they can force to back down. They’re use to weak men who can’t articulate themselves clearly; men who aren’t well read or spiritually based. BAsically men without the social tools to ‘handle’ them. So when they finally meet one who is equipped, it blows their minds.

    This is why I go hard and won’t back down. I know my sisters. They’ll argue against this truth all day long; but inwardly, in that place where God dwells, they hear His voice speaking to them from this truth. And as long as the messenger stands firm and refuses to cower, eventually they come around.

    At least some do.

    The rest can go lick on each other, which is the only option they will have left anyway; if they haven’t started already.

  14. Ramses says:

    @Mack no doubt Fam. On the real these women should be washing our feet with their hair like Mary Magdalene for real. We the only ones standing up out here. It just goes to show you how deep this sickness goes. We defend them and get attacked, but dudes like lil wayne tell them he only likes light skinned females and his concerts get sold out and music bought. I’ve always appreciated all shades of black women. If you were attractive to me then it doesn’t matter. But like they say “a Prophet is never respected in his own home.” Keep swinging your scimitar

  15. Ramses says:

    @Jennifer. Appreciate your response. I know it’s a tough pill to swallow. I know when Black Women get on this site and see these scimitar swords being wielded against their behavior it doesn’t feel good. Unfortunately, for a lot of them, they won’t rebound simply because they reject the truth right before their eyes. I’ve lived in Atlanta since 88. And this is not to be funny either but I can honestly say that the females here have not changed at all since I’ve been. I used to see females in junior high exhibit the same stupidity I see women in their 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s exhibit. Now the insulting thing to me as a Man, who has had to deal with his own personal battles himself, and has fought through them bravely and has never took them out on black women, these same females who choose men off of their iniquitous behavior want to make men pay in general for their dumb decisions and expect us to put up with the baggage they have created for themselves. The reason why black women are not being successful with black men, in droves, is because they have forgotten the art (keyword art) of womanhood. Are we flesh? Of course we are. Are our eyes initially attracted to those who are attractive? Yes. That’s nature. However, our spirit is what takes things to another level. This is not a racial matter. It’s a spiritual matter. I have given black women compliments over the years, not even trying to approach them, but just because I wanted to show them appreciation and majority of the time they don’t have the decency to say thank you. You speak to them they don’t even say thank you. I took an african-american female relationship class in college some years ago and the mindset was appalling from the females in there. I did not realize the level of disrespect black women had for black men until i took that class. The things they would say in there was just mind blowing. Your experience proves what we are saying on here. I mean for these females to tell you you can’t be their sister because you’re light skinned is sickening and I feel the hurt that you felt through the words you wrote. That’s like saying Malcolm could not have been in the Nation because he was light skinned! I remember when my ex used to try to buy into this conspiracy in the media crap that black women were being put in a negative light. I asked her”haven’t men always wanted to be with you?” She said yes. I asked “haven’t you always had men approaching you telling you how beautiful you were?” She said yes. My ex actually reminds you of lela rochon. So I asked her “how can you buy into this notion that there is an attack on black women through the media when your life experience, from your own mouth, suggests that black men have always wanted you?” She then became quiet. She was upset when Essence put Reggie Bush on the cover because in her opinion, he didn’t like black women. I said “you don’t even know this brother first and foremost. Secondly, what he does with his personal life is his business.” If he wants to be with Kim Kardashian how does that affect your situation? I was with her and she was focusing on what he was doing and I’m a Moor! So when Mack calls them extra-average it’s on point. My ex was beautiful no doubt, but in terms of her station in life (economic class) she lived paycheck to paycheck. Black women get mad at Reggie Bush and other cats who have money to meet women in different classes as if they got a chance with these brothers. But the brother sitting right there in their face, who they could be building with, they are blind to. My ex was trying to buy into a notion (that black men don’t want black women) even though that was not her experience. But you know what happened? Through our conversations, she found out that she passed up some good brothers in the past based off of silly notions. When she was about 20 or 21, there was a dude who wanted to marry her but because her friends didn’t approve, she rejected him. However, I made her see the error i her ways and because of this she started feeling bad on the inside. Yet even though I wanted to marry her (would have been my second) we couldn’t take the next step because she was caught up with what was going on in the media. I told her a lot of black women have this Thelma and Louise complex where they will ride off the cliff together under the guise of “black sisterhood.” That’s the biggest lie out here. The story you just told proved that. I was awakened out of sleep one morning by this white preacher and he said “show me another woman that can praise another woman and I’ll show you a miracle.” Some of black women’s worse enemies have been other black women. It’s the ones who work on jobs with your men, knowing he’s married or has a Woman, and tempts him continuously while it’s a single brother right next to her that she rejects. It’s the one who gives you knowingly bad advice with your mate because she doesn’t want you to be successful with your Man cause she wants you miserable wit her. It’s you “Besty” cause now black women are using white girl terms, who screwed your man behind your back. For years I used to hear black women say that they didn’t have black women as friends like that. And I used to ask why. Out of black women’s own mouths they would say “because black women are trifling. And I don’t trust them.” At 33, now I see what they were talking about. But as far as feeling bad, you shouldn’t. Why should you feel bad about what they do in their own personal lives if they don’t. What those women taught you on facebook is that they are hateful. And the reason why these women get no love from black men the way they used too is because of this hate. See love is more powerful than hate but, both are two powerful thoughts. They are so powerful that both thoughts cannot occupy the same space. So because black women, in general, don’t love themselves the love black men would naturally show them can’t be received because hate is occupying their heart. So are black men expected to sit here and wait for black women to wake up? Hell we’re men but we feel lonely too. Why you think there are so many Men going to the strip club? It’s because they are lonely as hell. The strip club is the drug that allows them to escape from this reality. I’ve heard black women call other black women tar bar baby when she’s dark, and white girl when she’s light, in derogatory terms. I’ve seen black women from light to dark who are attractive to me. From perms to locks fine as wine. But, on the inside, like a child going through the “terrible twos.” Don’t blame us for our response to a bad situation. See men adapt. When we face a bad situation, we figure out another to attain the happiness we want. Most women sit around and stay bitter, never formulating a plan to change things. If these black women on here really wanted to be with black men, they would take a new course of action that would ensure success cause obviously throwing up your degrees in their face is not helping your cause. I remember when my ex sister and her rolled up to a mcdonald’s. When the guy closed the door in the drive thru, my ex asked her sister, who was older than her, would she date the dude. She said no. She asked her why. Because the dude worked at mcdonald’s. Now mind you, this is the same female who had a baby out-of-wedlock with a married man, was unemployed, and was still living at home with her mom. This same chick could not even put money on half the rent but was judging the brother for not having a better job! This is what’s meant by extra average. Most of you women are not gonna meet a baller, but it diesn’t mean he can’t build towards wealth. Sometimes it’s a joint effort. Me, me and my partners are working on investment banking. That’s why I’m reading banking manuals from federal reserve and other publications. It’s my team’s goal to have our own banks. But this takes time and effort, and a lot of studying. See the brother’s use pass up, who you think don’t have goals because you judge them off of what you perceive them lacking, might be the same brother whose bank you’re going in to deposit your funds in. But because he wasn’t worth the time of day, in your eyes, you didn’t allow yourself the opportunity to hear what his ambitions were/are. See when you look at Man as an investment, instead of as something to mooch off of, then your long-term prospects for familial success are greatly enhanced. I get passed up in Atlanta just because I don’t engage in the club seen here and trust me I am quite content with that. Some people come to this life and can only go as far as that scene. Me personally it’s not worth the possibility of getting shot just to be able to dance with nobodies. A woman impresses me with her looks first, but then her life goals. She values family, then i know she values me as well because we both value the same thing. If she happens to be of another ethnicity, then so be it. I’ve seen Tommy Sotomayor and he is a truth teller. The brother definitely speaks his mind and heart. I’m appalled that a lot more black women are not appalled at what they see from their female counterparts. That’s telling within itself. But you shouldn’t feel guilty at all. Just being the best woman you can be is all that’s required of you for you and your family. Your only that you need to focus on is between you and your king. These women and their plight does not come before you and his union. Seriously, you’ll think we really don’t want you’ll from a physical perspective? I mean I live in the booty capitol of the US (Atlanta, GA). It’s fine women everywhere here. Plenty of beautiful black women here. But on the inside, they are monsters. If you’re ugly to me on the inside as a woman, no matter who you are, you’re ugly to me and as a Man I would degrade myself to even approach a female who I see from the way she dresses she doesn’t value herself thinking I can get a committed relationship from her. This has nothing to do with race. It’s a values thing. i value family structure which includes marriage, first and foremost. Black women here values independence or the notion of it. That’s a clash right there. Black women need to go back and listen to the stuff Tupac was talking about in his music. While most thought he was entertaining, he was actually teaching. “Wonder why They Call You Bitch.” “Brenda’s Got A Baby.” “Dear Mama.” He put your shortcomings out there not to bash but to help you. But he had to speak on it though. In my experience, I’ve learned that the only way I could co-exist with most of these females is if I was willing to compromise my Manhood. And I will tell you right now, that’s where i draw the line with black women. The only thing I got in this world is balls and my word (manhood) and i will not compromise that for weak black women, or weak black dudes who cater to the ego of these weak black women. I know it’s tough to hear. Before these forums existed, you’ll didn’t really have a clue about how we felt bout a lot of you’ll. And a lot of times we wouldn’t say anything because we didn’t want to hurt you’ll feelings. But we were wrong on that front because as Men we should never be fearful, (although I’ve always spoke mine) of speaking our mind. These things must be said. I am not gonna lie to you. I am shocked at the way black women behave themselves. I really can’t put into words how disappointing their behavior has been. I thought black women were better than this. But I’m loyal to my principles before i am loyal to a black woman. Our principles need to be in alignment like the stars. If not, we can never co-exist. That’s not emotion but science. There is a science to being a Woman. The black woman, on her own, has allowed herself to become a heathen collectively. A black woman said to me an my brethren in 2010, there are still some good black women around. But they are few and far between. When you say ‘there are still some good black women around” what are you really saying? When you say some or few, it indicates not many. In the present state, this is a wasteland when it comes to the quality of women. Could it change? Of course. Will it change, I seriously doubt it. And I’m an optimist by nature. But I know a losing hand when I see one and I’m not into losing. I hate it. That’s why I speak the way I do because based on thinking, I feel like I’m on a losing team. Even men are resigned to what’s going on out here. When I hear dudes say “yeah you right, but you know how they are” it pisses me off because this lets me know that they have turned in their Man card and are now wearing panties while their chick wears the boxer briefs. I can never be brothers with these dudes. We form brotherhood to protect women but a lot of dudes have a curfew out here when it comes to their women. You can’t have brotherhood because damn near every dude is intoxicated with vagina at dance clubs and strip clubs. Be grateful that you are married because it’s your shield. The scriptures talks about a group of women who will walk around with a stench about them. You build civilization through the womb of a Woman but you also can tear it down through the womb of it as well because it is through her gateway King’s and Queens come through so it should be protected always. It’s not to say you won’t have your loose women in societies. But these women should know that there is a clear penalty for living wreckless lives and should not expect marriage in any form. Hell a chick like Kim Kardashian, whose claim to fame was a sex tape with Ray J, has an expecation of marriage!!! I mean I can go right now online and watch her fuck Ray J. And yet these females feel entitled to it and even though she married Kris Humphries it didn’t work because her nature was to defy him. She wouldn’t even move with him on the east coast to support him in his career and people were actually booing him in games he played!!! Lol. the evidence is there. Now whether people want to acknowledge it, that’s another story. But I don’t delude myself. Here’s a documentary on Moors. Also check out the documentary Hidden Colors too. Excellent piece.

  16. Mack says:

    @ David Van Clief:

    Funny thing about us humans: we tend to see things as we already believe, not as they actually are. If you didn’t see anythig redeeming in my ‘rant’, then you’ve just proven my previous statement.

    While I’m all for Christianity presented in the RIGHT way, and I agree with much of what you had to say, your assessment of the situation seems a bit biased and disingenuous towards the sisters. If you’re going to come with Christianity, come ALL the way with it. Lets see what GOD has to say on these matters:

    Genesis 3:16- “Your desire will be for your husband, and HE WILL HAVE RULE OVER YOU.”

    Titus 2:3-5- “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is GOOD. THEN they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and PURE, to be busy AT HOME, to be kind, and TO BE SUBJECT TO THEIR HUSBANDS, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

    1 Corinthians 11:8- “For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but WOMAN FOR THE MAN.”

    And I know you won’t hear this preached much at church:

    1 Corinthians 11:11-12- “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is NOT independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.”

    *And that’s how you get perfect balance; not by having this ‘independent woman’ mindset. But wait, lets see what else God expects of all you ladies who call yourselves Christians.

    1 Peter 3:1-6- “Wives, in the same way SUBMIT yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over WITHOUT WORDS by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

    “Your beauty should not come from OUTWARD adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your INNER self, the unfading beauty of a GENTLE and QUIET spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

    “For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”

    * Ouch! I guess thats why more black men aren’t following you to church these days ladies…

    I could go on; but my point is, if you’re gonna come at us with the Bible, don’t pick and choose which parts suit your objective. Come at it from both sides of the equation. And give it balance. When you use the scriptures to brown-nose the ladies, you’re actually doing them a big disservice.

    STUDY without ceasing! 😉

  17. Mack says:

    Ahhh…love. Its a wonderful thing when we can agree to disagree; even better when we can move past our hurts and pains and come together. Jenifer, Natalie and Kerry: thanks. Ladies like yourselves make the fight worth fighting.

    @ Natalie: that was extremely well argued! Couldn’t have said it any better myself.

    @ Ramses: I think you’ve found a new calling bruh 😉

  18. Jennifer says:

    You are correct Mr. Ramses, I am very intrigued. I thirst for knowledge, especially the information that is well hidden like the historical references that you shared. My husband teaches me about many of the Moorish accomplishments. He tells me more now that my mind is open to disposing of all of the many years of American history that I use to actually believe.

    Please let me know if you have a forum that you share your teachings on i.e blogs, websites or whatever. I would follow your posts!!

  19. Jennifer says:

    I came back to this post solely to see if Mr. Ramses had replied to me or offered any insight in general. I am so touched by your last piece of writing. I am really impressed with the man that you are. I wish that you had a forum to share your thoughts like the writers on this page. I pegged you all wrong Sir. I learned about myself through our interactions. I sometimes judge too soon and can be defensive even when it is not called for. I do enjoy a good debate from a worthy opponent. I like comparing positions with you, I appreciated your honesty and even the abrasive tones and words that you chose.

    I still plan to “come at” you from time to time as I may run across you in other forums but I will respect you going forward. I have been following Tommy Sotomayar a little bit too. It has been a tough pill to swallow that there is so much dysfunction in black women. I know of many women that will bring up the excuses why, but there is no excuse to how some of these woman act. I have been through my own issues, I still don’t let it be an excuses to be mean to people (especially, black men). I have been fighting for black women in various arenas and many of them chicks do hate me, lol. I tried to join some black girl group on facebook and one day the subject was “colorism”. The black omen were so hurt and angry. I told them that I empathized with them. The women in droves told me that I was treated better and could never be their sister. They said that I should stop fighting to be “black” because I was a half-breed. I kept trying to show them allegiance as I am very pro-black, but them sisters hated me the moment my profile picture showed them my complexion. Quite honestly you are right, black girls haven’t showed me a lot of love. I have been harassed and almost jumped for “thinking I was cute”. I still love this group but the author and you are right to hold them accountable. I GET IT NOW!!!!!!!

  20. Ramses says:

    @Natalie that’s why I go in the way I do. Perfectly written

  21. natalie says:

    re: an earlier post about reproduction in the community and the idea of it taking “two to tango”

    Of course it takes two to tango, but the use of the phrase has become a deflection of personal responsibility that doesnt reflect societys current roe v wade reality. Black feminist embrace full reproductive rights while abdicating themselves of FULL reproductive responsibility with the rights one is afforded. It is an antiquated way of thinking that is based on years of indocttrination by gender idealogues where the paradigm assumes male power/ female victimization (partriarchy theory).

    We have laid blame at the feet of men for “shirking responsibility” for decades while ignoring our roe v wade reality. Our antiquated way of thinking, where the socially constructed role of men is to provide for women that have the “CHOICE” whether or not they will become mothers is unnerving.

    From Roe vs Wade

    “When women are compelled to carry and bear children, they are subjected to ‘involuntary servitude’ in violation of the Thirteenth Amendment….[E]ven if the woman has stipulated to have consented to the risk of pregnancy, that does not permit the state to force her to remain pregnant.” ….interesting

    So……a woman has pregnancy prevention options a page long , chooses not to excercise her right to use of birth control, chooses not to use morning after pill, chooses not to abort, chooses not use safe haven laws and/or put child up for adoption. she has complete control over the reproductive decisions that affect her life embracing the mantra “my body my choice” while garnering the support of the shameful alliance between traditionalist and feminist that hold someone else (men) accountable. We shame, ridicule and even incarcerate men, while maintaining the idea of “independent” decision making women as a victim of mens ill intent. The hypocrisy is that a man that communicates no desire to be a father is referred to as a deadbeat, but a a woman with no desire to be “forced” into motherhood in the event of an unwanted pregnancy is pro-choice! What a load of crap. Some equality from the feminist camp and their traditionalist allies. We have been blaming men while watching the unwed childbirth creep from 40 to 73-74%. We shifted towards this shaming of men while shifting away referring to unwed mothers as such to including them in the all encompassing and less stigmatizing term of “single mother”. And what do we have? Cultural acceptance of “babymamas” and a community rapidly deteriorating while we allow women to continue bringing children into the world, ducking under the cover of the “best interest of children” Birth control is in the best interest of our children and its time to call out this idea that “he got me pregnant” as opposed to taking ownership with “I got pregnant”. If we continue to have the discussion where the problem is framed in the context of what men are “doing to us” them we can just sit back and watch the number eventually reach 9 in 10.

    The problem is that we have punitive laws directed at men that do not reflect the reality that in 2012 a woman “chooses” to GET PREGNANT. If we were not living a post roe v wade reality then there may be an argument but as it stands I refuse to embrace this idea of ourselves as helpless victims in the issue when it is our community of women that are overwhelmingly demonstrating poor family planning and pregnancy prevention.

    I watched the entire summer while the media reported an alleged “war on women”… this while I watched a wonderful God fearing community servant, unemployed in this economy for four years be escorted to jail..not for assault, theft, burglary, etc, but for his inability to pay child support for a child that he had no knowledge of for the first 8 years of life. He is shamed and ridiculed by society while she receives the support and praise of the community and the government. It really is an interesting narrative where we have elevated single unwed motherhood, destigmatizing the shame by referring to it as “single motherhood” So the narrative goes that if a child acheieves at a level that leads them down the path to college education, advanced degrees, etc, it is a testament of the “strength” of the single mom that made it in spite of the circumstances. Howveer, should the child find itself on the path to eventual incarceration, then society has determined it to be an indictment of the colossal failure of fathers who simply need to “man up”. As a society unfortunately we have shifted to a paradigm that emphasizes complete accountability for men while extending them little compassion, it is ruthless of course and it focuses on “respecting’ our men while not necessarily communicating the compassion that is indicative of our love for them. For women and our girls we emphasize limitless compassion while minimally emphasizing accountability, it is infantilizing and of course the message communicated is one of love but it is not necessarily one of respect if we do not hold women to a standard of accountability that is comparable to men on various issues. Unfortunately, pushes for equality have swung the pendulum too far in one direction (womens) and I will simply say that a community that despises its men run the risk of creating despicable men. We refuse to have honest dialogue about the complexity of the issues like this and others.

  22. Kerry says:

    If I may intrude in between Ayoka & Mack…

    There is a truth in what Ayoka is saying, but it is outside of the scope of this article. As Mack states it in the last paragraph,

    (1)he ‘is advocating putting SOME of these sisters out there on time out for a while until they get their minds right’.
    Just like good black women put the fresh-out of jail ‘Tyrone’ on timeout.

    (2)emphasizing that “there aren’t enough good brothers to go around: the reality is there’s not a lot of good sisters to go around for the good brothers”.
    That is, say for every 10 sisters, there are 3 good of them. And for every 10 brothers, there are 4 good ones. One brother is left out. Now adjusting the scale, that pretty much amounts to a million of brothers.
    The reason so many women feel that there is a shortage of good brothers comes from their standards. By african-american standards, 7 out 10 sisters are good ones whereas by what we’d call ‘human’/regular standards, 4 of them are not as good as they think themselves to be, and they are the intended audience of this article – IMU.
    *these # are pure fictional, but you get the message.

    If we work with this framework, it is safe to say that Mack’s pov is valid.

  23. David Van Clief says:

    Mack, I can understand being frustrated and wanting to vent but there should be something redeaming at the end. I don’t find that in this case. In my opinion, the current topic spawned from the words of William Lynch about 300 years ago ( It was helped along by the explosion of the drug trade and exploitation of the Black community beginning back in the late 1960s.

    It is quite amazing to me how far the Black race ascended in the first 100 years following the abolishment of slavery. Fighting through severe racism, brutality, and inequality, the Black race proved through loyalty to God and devotion to family that nothing was impossible. Spearheaded by Dr. Martin L. King, the spirit of a nation was elevated and became a beacon of light for the world. I guess that was just too much for a certain segment of America to handle. Since the assassination of Dr. King the wheels of the movement came off and it appears the focus of the Black race changed from community to self. The lure of making fast money selling dope within their own communities led to the breakdown of the Black family. With the men incarcerated or dead, the Black women were left to lead the family by default. God did not intend for that to happen. HE called men to be the head and not the tail. Men were designed not only to be the physical presence (head) but the spiritual covering for the family. But the tail many Black men became as they took their eyes off the true and living God only to worship another idol. Isn’t it funny how there are more women in church today than men? I can see the tactics employed by our adversary and the devastation and havoc they have caused. As a people, we need to expand our view of this topic. Stop giving power to the tricks spoken by Willie Lynch and understand we need to return to our first love. This country was founded on Christian principles and in its growth and development God was cast aside. But it is not too late for the Black race to be the beacon of light for the world to see. We have a Black President and First Lady standing as examples of success in business, in family, and in love.

    To My Brother: God is calling you to assume your position as the head of your family just as Christ is the head of the Church. We must stand up as men in the reverence of God allowing Him to order our steps. We must learn to trust in HIM and lean not unto our own understanding. We must learn to trust in God and allow HIM to direct our destiny! When we do this, the respect we deserve from our women will return. Although Black women have attitude, they still want us to be in our rightful place so they can return to the position they were designed for: our partners, our lovers, our friends. RECOGNIZE THE PAIN YOU MAY HAVE CAUSED TO THE WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE. GO BACK AND GET THAT SITUATION CORRECTED SO YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD! PRAY WITHOUT CEASING!!!

    To My Sisters: I hear you and feel your pain. If possible, I would apologize for all brothers for leaving you to fill shoes you were not designed to wear. Although you ladies filled them and made it work for a few generations, it is time to allow men to assume their rightful position. You can help make this transition a success by letting go of any anger, resentment, and hurt you are holding toward Black men (fathers, grandfather, uncles, brothers, husbands/lovers). See the attack of the enemy against our community. Speak life into our brothers, both young and old. Share the knowledge you have learned about this attack on our people and get involved in repairing the damage Black men and women have suffered. DON’T COMPROMISE YOUR STANDARDS OF WHAT YOU EXPECT IN A MAN! HOLD MEN ACCOUNTABLE FOR TREATING THEMSELVES WITH RESPECT SO THEY CAN TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT! STOP THINKING YOU CAN CHANGE A MAN THROUGH YOUR EARTHLY POWER. ONLY GOD HAS THAT POWER AND A MAN HAS TO COME TO GOD SEEKING THE POWER TO CHANGE. PRAY WITHOUT CEASING!!!

  24. Staff says:

    Links: Most have expired via scribd.

  25. Ramses says:

    these should help peter

  26. Peter says:

    Ramses, send us some titles of the books you have in mind.

  27. Ramses says:

    and @Kris M sorry you had to endure an abusive relationship….took strength to get out, know it was hard

  28. Ramses says:

    @Jennifer. 1st and foremost I appreciate your responses. I really do. They add to my growth and development as a Man. And I don’t mean that to mock you either. They really add value to my existence. Now I have to open up a little bit more on a few things. You say my words are vulgar I get that. However, words are meant for communication. The words were created to convey a certain message. There is no such thing as a bad word. They are meant to convey certain sentiments in certain types of discussions. Now since we are all adults on here I assumed that these words would not be an issue at all. Clearly I was wrong. However your scriptures refer to women as whores and I don’t see black women boycotting the Bible either. So it just seems to me black women pick and choose who they allow to say certain words in terms of source authority. But this not an attempt to hurt feelings. Now if egos get bruised in the process then that’s out of my control. I don’t cater to people’s egos because it’s futile. These discussions are much needed and saying things in a soft voice and holding our people’s hand will not help them out the mess they’re in. Now, in terms of what you’re saying as far as not caring about how you are perceived globally, I think you might want to reconsider that mindset. I didn’t say that to suggest you want to deal with these women on a sexual level. i mean you’re married. I brought this up because we should care about how we are perceived globally because it can affect your pockets. Your name can be so sullied in the world, people wouldn’t want to do business with you;including people who share your phenotype and melanin. A friend of mine traveled to Spain in the summer and when she came back (as a black woman) she said we have to do better with our image globally. She said that people in Europe think all of us are Nicki Minaj. So the things in the media are sent across the world and can affect you especially as women. This white boy in the states touched a black chick on the butt and when they asked him why he did it, he said “I thought that’s what they like.” This stuff does have consequences. Now when I say hoe using the word you’ll, I’m not necessarily referring to you unless it applies. I use the term you’ll for the masses of females who it applies to. Don’t be so sensitive. I didn’t make things personal with us and even when you did, I didn’t go at you like that. I continued my same arguments as I always do. Scathing and relentless. Now creature has a nature. An alligator has a nature. You go into it’s territory, it’s gonna eat your ass up. Don’t get mad at it for doing what it do. Don’t go against common sense and go into it’s territory. A bird has a nature. A dog has a nature. A man has a nature. And a Woman has a nature. It’s in a Woman’s nature (not bitch) to submit to a Man’s nature. It’s encoded in your DNA. A Woman can not help it. Matter fact, if your Man does not intimidate you slightly, then there’s something wrong there. A Man makes you pause and have to catch your breath. This is not an academic argument but truth. It’s animal in a good way. And I don’t mind you saying you are attractive either it’s not like your self-concept degrades mine cause I wouldn’t allow it. You feel you are attractive and that’s cool. But I know there has been come hate you have received from black females for no reason. I’m pretty sure you have been singled out for being “high yella”. What I am trying to say I know you have borne the brunt of bitterness from black women yourself. Now just because this bitterness has become normalized it doesn’t make it natural. Natural means innate. Sometimes abnormal things can occur over such a long period of time that it becomes normalized. This is insanity. Black women and their bitterness are driving black men away from them. Who wants to be around a bitter woman? I mean seriously, do you? Think about the bitter women you worked around who carried it around like a badge of honor. Was that a pleasant environment? Now just transfer that type of woman to a house. That house will never become a home. In terms of what you and terrence and peter said in terms of what white folks did to us. This is where history/herstory becomes critically important. As black people we paint whites with such a broad stroke it’s childish. We hate them when they do it against us but do it to them constantly. They voted for Barack in two elections and we still give them no credit. I have really grown in this arena and I will never go back to that hate whitey zone i used to be in. That shit had me consumed with rage. But here’s a history lesson for ya. When the Moors came into what is now known as Spain, they were welcomed with open arms by the Visigoths who had sacked Rome and Split the Roman empire in two. They were so degraded as a group of people they would have welcomed help from aliens. Lol. At this time, in 711 A.D. Europe had not one public university. Let me say that again. Europe had not one public university. The first University that was established there was Salmanca. At the time the Moors came to spain, Europe was going through it’s dark ages, a period of no learning whatsoever. Many of their kings and queens were actuality illiterate. All of the castles in Britain are said to have been built by Moors (Black Men). Now the europeans who actually lived in these places were extremely poor. In England you could be hung at the town square for stealing a piece of fruit at the market. So when you have a group of people who are that poor having their kings and queens to stoke their fire in terms of going to the Holy lands for riches (Crusades) it’s not hard to see that these people were manipulated into fighting on behalf of rich families. No different today. So were white people necessarily hateful of melanated peoples naturally? Now, because you can see in the iconography in the cathedrals where you see images of the Black Madonna holding her child (Black Woman holding her baby Jesus which is an image taken from the iconography of ancient Egypt of Isis holding Horus) Moors (Black Men) enjoyed good standing in Europe and the world of commerce because they were masters in sailing the seas and doing with nations on a business level. Only until racism became a system did the relationships of pale europeans become bad with those Moors of old. Many Europeans came to Egypt to study in the schools there as well. So let’s not forget history. Have we fought each other? Yes. Have they enslaved us? Yes. But we have enslaved them as well too. Yes Moors owned European slaves too. Watch O’thello and you will see this interaction. Excellent movie. The Moor (Moreno, Black Man) was celebrated in Europe to the point that if a Moor was riding on a horse, and white european was coming the opposite direction, he was expected to get off his horse and bow down to the Moor. We have made mistakes on both sides. But black people are not innocent in their past transgressions. You can say what you want but in 6000 years, this cave man has went from the caves to space stations on other planets, albeit it with extraterrestrial help. We need to embrace them because we used to embrace them. We don’t have to hate them to love ourselves. What we should do is hate sub-par behavior coming from our people. I don’t take a back seat to whites just cause I’m willing to compliment them for what I view as civilized behavior. I offered the book by the white woman because she used science to show how white skin is not superior. The face that she chose the truth over her conditioning let me know she was mature intellectually, spiritually, and psychology. Those 1054 pages are good for a lot of you women to read. And as far as the criticism I get I’m not worried about it because as a Man it comes with the territory. See when you hold the scepter, as a Man, you’re gonna piss people off by nature. if you don’t overstand and innerstand that, then you might as well put on some high heels and stand on the corner. A woman’s whole entire genetic code is configure to respond positively to the testicular fortitude of a Man. So when she rejects this, in essence, she rejects her nature. But in terms of you saying I sound like a thug I take it as a compliment because rulers have to bring it like that. Think of a king of a country. Can he project weakness at any time? Hell no. Because if he does the wolves will be nipping at his heels. So when I speak, I speak from that aspect. If I was a king of a country i wouldn’t let a lot of this nonsense happen there because it’s unhealthy for a society. That’s called leadership. I am onscious but I am not trying to go back to Africa either. We have pyramids here that outdate the ones in Egypt. Olmec civilization predates Egypt. Look at those stone heads in Mexico and when you see those full heads and corn row braids, you clearly see that is us. I embrace certain Africans, not all of them, but i don’t go to them subservient asking them to accept me either. That Kente cloth crap does not move me and i’m not trying to live in a hut either. Not knocking anybody who does, but that’s not for me. I embrace the whole of humanity when it’s peaceful and loving. My words are tough, but come from love because to see these females out there out their mind is hurtful to my humanity. But it still doesn’t mean I won’t bring the pain to ’em to not change them, but to get them to think differently if thats even possible. Some will get it some won’t. years ago I used to give it to brothers too hard without looking at the black woman. Even Tupac apologized to Quincy Jones for calling him out on the white woman shit and he admitted it came from a sense of hurt based on his background. I would never degrade women but I will point out the behavior of those females who want me to value them but don’t value themselves. I know i’m confusing. I told you you won’t be able to figure me out. It’s the sign dear. That’s the Manhood speaking to you. Remaining a mystery to Woman intrigues her. Through all that tough exterior, my words have touched you because most men nowadays only can stimulate you in the physical. Any man can stick his penis in a woman. That’s easy. But it takes a real Man to be able to speak to the heart of a Woman. If these women would actually get pass the initial criticism (which takes maturity) they would see I’m speaking to their hearts. I’m saying to them be wives. I’m not telling to be whores. I’m cautioning them against it. Is that a negative thing? No it’s positive. But because topic is so sensitive, most people can’t get pass the fact I had the audacity to criticize a black woman. I leave behind those who choose to stay behind. In your journey of life you can’t take everyone one with you: including parents. If you want more books have plenty on pdf that i’m willing to share if you really are interested. I shared the info with you because I care. If I didn’t why would I go through the process of sharing info with you? Observation of things should not be viewed as hurt. It’s just that. Observations.

  29. Peter says:

    I agree with Terrance Amen. They did something to us. I don’t know what. For instance, I spoke the other day to a Black gay man who had a perm. Why a Black man who is gay is trying to look like a White women? This is not normal and it would be very interesting if someone could enlighten me.

  30. John says:

    This article is really misogynist! I cannot believe that thyblackman posted this. You have no criteria!!!

  31. Brothers and Sisters, this is the second time writing this, but here it goes. You are mad at the wrong person. We didn’t have relationship problems before we were brought here to this country. Continuing to go off on each other will not solve our problems. The white man is enjoying these comments and division between us. We need to understand that this was not by our design, because the white man knows that when, not if we come together, he will be through. So lets start talking about the origin of our problems and continue from there.

    We have to realize, that we continue to carry the physical and mental baggage of the psychological effects of slavery that has been passed down from generation to generation and until we deal with these issues, we will continue to get worse. These are mainly symptoms of the problem and not the cause of the problem. Lets start to deal with the root of the problem and you’ll see that we aren’t really the problem at all, but we do have to know it’s origin. I said this better the first time I wrote this.

    Black Unity means financial independence and happiness

  32. Jennifer says:

    Well, I wish you contained a filter or more control. Your posts are too darn long.

    I still read every word and like a lot of what I read. I still see some of your hurt/bias opinion of American women in there. Bruh, your grandmother did not break the mold. There are LOTS of good black American women. They are just not as loud as the women you keep referencing. You keep bringing up how negative women from other lands view American black women 1. Who the F cares? (I don’t date women) 2. I am not surprised that a woman that aims to get your approval would put down potential opposition. I can only speak for myself! FOREIGN MEN LOVE ME! I have been told that I have soft facial features. In person I have a really sweet disposition. I love to put smiles on someone’s face (its how I get my kicks).

    Your degrading comments to me raises another point, you have called me several types of hoe and compared me to all types of filthy whore-bags; do you ever wonder if so many black girls are loose because they are called names like hoe and bitch by their male counter-parts? I have been lucky, never has a boyfriend of mine called me a bitch or a hoe. I’m not worried about it because I have verbally been cruel to you as well but, dude talking to you is what I imagine it is like talking to Snoop Dogg, lol. You don’t know how to show your points without calling me the “low-blow” insults. But hey, do what ya do.

    I brought up me being light-skinned because we are being dreadfully honest in this discussion so I said something that I would usually not say. I am sought after, I am attractive, light-skinned and men want to share in my gene-pool. I grow REAL hair, real nails and dress like a lady. I (and women like me) are pursued by men of all races. White men, Indian men, Latino men and of course black men. A woman like me ONLY wants the adoration of one man A BLACK MAN!

    I can appreciate that you are aware of your history. Many of the terms that you use, I hear my husband use ie Moorish and Aztec people. I learn a lot from him and it solidifies my opinion that the black man is the greatest man walking the earth, when I look at our people, I look at our expansive history here. White people have only existed for 6,000 – 10,000 years. They love to basque in the glow of their (temporary) reign. That is the reason that I hate to see slave minded brothas adding to that glow in the white race of feeling superior. I love that you prefer darker women! I am light because my two parents made me, I didn’t pick my color, I just acknowledge that it does hold some weight when dating today (sad but true). If you weren’t so derogatory, I feel like I could learn somethings from you.

    You confuse me, you sometimes appear to be conscience and righteous and at other times like a thug calling women bitches and sluts. You speak of the power within you and building nations while acting like you can just leave us behind. You brothas keep on mixing with other races and soon race will not be an issue as everyone will be my color, lol. There will be no more of the dark brown sister you like so much. Luckily brown people out-number whites and our world will remain brown.

    I just want to say that when you marry again, I hope it is a brown woman, be her Indian, Persian Latino or even Asian. I hope that she is sweet as I am, (lol) and that she will soften your heart, you are too hard on American black women. I hope you give it to the brothas this hard too.

    (I think you are rubbing off on me, my post is too damn long)

  33. Cherie says:

    Typical response to a black woman who has standards. “Who do you think you are to have reasonable standards?” “you’re not a white woman!” “It is your fault you encounter bad men.” “Other women of other races are DYING to get with us.” “Men of other races do not want you, you do not have options.” Lol, please keep on feeding that to black women who have not dated other types of men and actually believe that false crap. This same type of talk is why many of black women in the past couple years have been looking elsewhere. Now excuse me while I forward this link to various interracial blogs like the one I found this on. This will be a funny read for the sistas.

  34. Ramses says:

    It’s funny how when people are obnoxious, they have no problem with being direct with someone. However, when the truth hits them, then all of a sudden they make the discussion about how you say it! It’s deflection. I remember a girl from high school and I were talking on the phone in 2010. We talked in a very mature tone of voice with each other. However I said some things that touched her up a bit and she admitted to me “I can’t find fault with anything you say at all. Everything you just said was hundred percent correct. But, you know, it’s the way you say it. It’s not the message that’s the problem, it’s the messenger. For instance, plenty of sisters I’ve come across love the Apprentice show. This show is filled with Donald Trump lacing contestants about how bad of a job they are not doing. Sarcasm oozing through his comments constantly. He defers to none of these contestants (women included) and when he says you’re fired it’s accepted as normal. Now when Donald says you’re not good enough, you dust yourselves off, and try to reinvent yourselves to make you more appealing right? I mean you all do that in the job market all the time. However, when I say do it, then I’m shot down because I don’t say it in the nicest way. Well does he? And why does it have to sound nice to you in the first place? The truth is unappealing to the heathens’ heart. That’s why it hurts. But it’s freeing at the same time when you accept it. It transforms you. But because he’s a billionaire he has authority right? Plenty of these dudes with money tend to be the smallest (literally) dudes out here. They hide behind their money all of their insecurities as men and how really small they feel. But just because he has money, he gets a free pass and we actually laugh when he makes a mockery of someone as entertainment. The black man in america, has been totally stripped of his authority. He defends himself on his job while being attacked. he gets either fired or arrested. he tries to have control of his kids, his woman defies him. Everywhere he turns it’s like “shut up nigga and take this abuse.” I’ve never defended a weak dude on here. I’ve always questioned women as to why the hell they would want to be in a bed with a male whose jeans are tighter than hers. matter fact i won’t be with women who date weak men because I’m strong and I’m like what’s your standard. If i see your ex dude and he’s weak as hell, I’m looking at you like you was with that? It completely turns me off. That’s why I loved Malcolm and Khalid Muhammad because they just said it. Straightforward. They didn’t care about assuaging black people’s egos. They were too busy trying to get them to free their minds. It’s a wasteland, and people are trying to get you to safety, and people are talking about this like Tony Robbins or something. This is not a damn seminar this is real life people. This is not supposed to make you feel good. I’m doing my job because I want to rattle your asses. Maybe it will change some things. Evolution of the mind is not a soft endeavor. You got all these self help gurus and preachers with all these self-help books on the market and the people are weaker than they have ever been. My great grand parents didn’t need self-help books to co-exist with one another. Egyptian didn’t need self-help books in order for Ausar and Auset to form that perfect union. Now you need self-help books to help you co-exist with a Man? Dman if you got to read a book to learn how to deal with a Man black woman, then you will never learn how to deal with a man. I don’t need a dman book to show me how to deal with a woman I just love her how I want to be loved. What a novel concept. I don’t go against my nature either. Say it nicely. But then you have females that get on here and take personal shots and then turn around and say say it nicely. What hypocricy

  35. Ayoka says:

    @ Mack,
    Thanks for taking the time to respond to my reply. When you say I am all over the place, it may be because I wrote very quickly and wanted to get those thoughts out—train of thought writing. This should be a bit easier to digest.

    My concept of love isn’t skewed and is actually quite healthy. I am in a loving relationship with a Black man who takes very good care of me, as I do him. I respect him, we communicate openly, he hunts and gathers…I nurture…etc. I have a loving healthy relationship with my spiritual Father too. God’s love is kind, merciful, and sweet: none of those attributes were easily identifiable in your jab filled writing.

    I am well aware that love is not always soft and mushy and can take healthy criticism. What I honed in on with your article was that the criticism was not healthy and left the reader with no clear indication of your love for Black women, it only leaves your audience feeling like the few downtrodden souls you speak of are lost causes and hope for the average Black women to be loved is lost. Clearly this is not true. I challenged your notion that women of other races are better, smarter, finer…and asked you to look closely at your own origins. I agreed that women need to take responsibility for their reproductive health but that pointed insults about those women without taking into account the other half of the equation in your rant is brutal and unfair. And despite what you think, men do have a role in determining the outcome of a pregnancy. If the both men and women grew up and took some responsibility for where they lay, we might be seeing more marriages.

    I don’t think saying someone is average is bashing. This is what I think bashing is:

    “What about you is so special that good black men should even want to get at you?”
    Answer: The real question is what about me is so disdainful that he wouldn’t want to? This statement automatically assumes that Black women are automatically lowest on the totem pole of desire. I don’t feel that way about Black men and Black men should not feel that way about Black women. This might be the case for a specific set of Black men because they’re picking up just any old thing. But your average Black woman is not worthless as you make it seem.

    “Maybe the reason you can’t find a good black man is because you’re so used to dating down. “
    My dating pool consisted of the most successful realtor in my region, a school janitor, a popular singer, and now a marketing consultant. Blue collar or white collar, they were decent men. What do you define as dating down? If you think about the range of choices for Black women, Tyrone from the block might be all that’s available. And he might be a mechanic and not the dealer you assume he is.

    “Trust me when I say: if you were such a hot item, even dudes from other races would be snatching you off the market faster than you could blink.”
    Despite popular belief, men of other races do approach Black women all the time. I don’t know if the girls in this post will speak on this, but we get considerably more exposure to white men in corporate positions than your average hood Black man gets to white women at the club. Just because we don’t tweet every time a white guy hits on us does not mean it doesn’t happen. We may not be interested in them because of the delusional loyalty we have to Black men.

    “But the pickings are very slim by the time you subtract the number of sisters who are: carrying relationship baggage, those who hate their fathers and project it onto the next guy, those who occasionally ‘lick the clit’ or who are juggling multiple ding-a-lings, those who are too ghetto for even the hood to deal with, those who are too religious for even Jesus to deal with, those who are outright unsightly or morbidly obese, and those already in committed relationships…It’s time sisters turned off the TV set, put down those ghetto love books, and did some serious self-reflection. Step your damn game up! Or ten years from now, when someone refers to a lonely old cat-lady, the image they have in mind might be you…”

    This is a blanket statement. Do you know how many Black women I know who have lovely personalities, are in shape, work good jobs, and are waiting for their Black gentlemen? All that the Black woman has been longing for from the Black man is acceptance, respect, and love. The same thing women of other races can rely on without even having to say it. We are feminine, smart, refined and loving. But having to shout that over the bane of criticism’s and disdain from our Black men is getting harder to do and becoming old.

    Do you not think we get enough of the disrespect on television and in Hip hop music? That’s why I don’t listen to that self-hate filled trash or watch that ratchet junk on TV. Promoting the same horrible images on this site that white power sites put up to make fun of us is stupid and self-destructive. Trust that they are laughing at how much Black men hate their own women and are caught up in the thrill of getting a white woman.

    Maybe you should try a little tenderness with the Black woman instead. We are women too. That same tenderness you show to the White woman you meet, a soft approach, intelligent conversation, and romantic gestures works on us too. But ask most Black men how they approach a sister in a club or at the grocery store and well, I am sure you already know the answer to that.

    Oddly enough if you have paid attention the latest divorce statistics, you will find that a 2 parent household is not average. Despite your assertions that it is normal, a 70 percent divorce rate says otherwise.

    I do not intend to deflect from the hard work of self-examination. What I do intend to deflect is unusable language and insults. I speak for the poor sisters who do not have access to a computer or do not have the skills to voice righteous indignation. Self- esteem is a healthy thing, and getting and giving respect is a 2 way street. Self-examination is critical for any human being to grow, including Black women. But the real examination needs to come in the form of why our sisters and girls feel so unloved and thereby continue on paths to self-destruction? I can guarantee that they aren’t feeling that way because of the loving Fathers who raised them, stayed with their mothers, told them they were beautiful and smart and showed them what a real man is. In fact, I bet it’s because the exact opposite has happened.

    It’s a huge responsibility to be a man. And there is a huge need for Fathers in our communities (not just baby daddies). What you are seeing as women who have nothing to contribute in relationships are really just women who have not had any one contribute to their self-worth and well being. Adding your voice to the many who say that Black women are worthless does nothing to uplift or help change the course of direction for many of these young women and girls. So even though I see that your intent was to start a meaningful dialogue (mission accomplished), I do not see how the rejection of the average Black woman for the average woman of another race helps. Though you have some helpful content, your delivery really disparages and downgrades. I wouldn’t be any kind of woman (average or not) if I didn’t speak up.

  36. Chi says:

    When I first read this article, I had difficulties reading without reacting in a manner that touched me as a woman. I do not agree with the viewpoints and approach of this article but do not contest the feelings behind the words. I believe it is based on experiences and how one perceives others. I challenge that this topic be brought up again later down the road with a edifying approach to see if the writers can create a paradigm shift in our thinking on this subject-matter.

    I truly believe this can set a tone for more unified dialogue on cultural dynamics among the African-American community. Thus promoting a forum of supporting a change in the black family unit.

  37. sankofa says:

    Lol! Man this shit is wild. November 15th and people are still coming here bitching and complaining and pointing fingers. Mack, Ramses…”pearls at swine’s feet” brothers. That’s all it is. I know you brothers are still fighting the fight, but remember if you roll around with with pigs in mud, both of you will get muddy and the pig will love it. This goes for any relationship with a dysfunctional female, including whenever we try to dialogue with them.

    The responses from these females are classic female speak, start at one place and go off on a tangent, so that WE end up off track trying to defend some bullshit statement that arrives at point D, instead of going back to point A. I wouldn’t give a second thought to the knee-grow males, it’s not worth my time. Some female from Atlanta said Mack must be Gay! So what’s the problem? Isn’t that the culture down there? You should be embracing him instead of vilifying him. But you won’t because insults are the first sign of the inability to converse civilly. Then when Mack and Ramses gets raw, you’all are aghast! Fuck that and the donkey you rode in on. You don’t like it? Bounce! Don’t as Boykins to come to your rescue, don’t be appalled at the language and rawness, click to another fucking site where you can read about some knee-grow females acting like “a strong black woman”…like ghetto gaggers or any similar sites.

    Brothers, that’s why I stop getting into prolonged conversation with this trolls, because they suck my energy like the parasites they are.

  38. Kris M says:

    @Jennifer 🙂 Always a pleasure

    All thanks be to the Most High Jah… And years of Martial Arts..

    After having my ass whopped for 4 years for no apparent reason, I’ve learned how to stay positive, and STRONGER… Don’t worry, it’s in you, You can’t help it. You’re BLACK and you’re a WOMAN ……
    Royalty X 2 ………………… Never forget that


  39. Jennifer says:


    I respect where you are coming from and your approach, you are a wise woman. I am of the flesh, lol. I like to engage this Ramses brother for primarily sheer entertainment but more importantly, you never know whom you can learn from. From you I have learned that conducting one’s self in a dignified manner is a virtue indeed. You are very positive and I hope that is all that you receive.

  40. Jennifer says:


  41. Kris M says:

    Jennifer –

    The delight you ‘Almost” saw beaming was me when I read your post prior to the last. In my mind I nodded “Hell yea someone other than myself actually gets this”. Like yourself, I too am not confrontational. I’ve proven this however by not taking many a bait I’ve read here over the past 48. Not every battle is worth fighting.

    I respect what you think you saw though. Our perception, after all, is our reality.

    Jah Bless Empress

  42. Ramses says:

    Jennifer….it seems I touched a nerve. But I’m glad you responded. Since you want to take it there. My mother was married when she and my father had me first and foremost. The greatest gift my parents gave me as a Man was the fact that they were married when I was brought into this world. I thank The Divine Architect of this Universe I didn’t enter into existence as a the result of some random encounter. Now let’s tease this out. You said you’re light skinned. A red flag right there. What the hell does your pigmentation have to do with your argument. I go in on a mofo whether they light or dark. My brethren Mack is lighter than me and it does not stop us from agreeing or disagreeing. How the fuck does that matter to your argument? That shit makes absolutely no sense but it does show your level of ego because red bone chicks are notorious for thinking they all are attractive, even when they look like Toucan Sam!!!Lol. Now let me tell you right now sister and this is not to brag. I have never had a problem bagging any honey, not matter what their hue. Quite frankly however, you would be the last one i would approach because my preference ahs been brown or dark. So you wouldn’t be dealing with a brother who is color struck as you say I am about white girls. But it’s funny you bring up the white girl thing because you are talking about your light skin which clearly denotes you have European in you, giving the impression you think you are superior just because you are lighter than other blacks. So you seem to be happy that you have your master’s blood in you. Which is a big problem I have with black people. They only use black when it’s convenient for them. When it’s time to come together as a collective and get work done, then we scatter. But let someone put a noose in a tree all of a sudden we a strong unit. Always reactive. never proactive. And your comment about the light skin silliness proves my point. We have color issues (light skin dark skin complexes) that prove there is no black unity. What it black. Is black Malcolm? Is black Marcus Garvey? WEB Du Bois hated Garvey and yet we revere him because he could pontificate so well. To me was nothing but an bourgeois negro to me. No ancestor of mine. And then you toss the white girl thing in their. That’s so typical and ignorant of your kind. First and foremost I’m not salivating after white chicks. Do i see those who are attractive? yes of course. But your assumption that i specifically seek them is way off base. Now don’t get me wrong, Europe has some quality stock chicks who may look European, but when you get down those hips legs and ass, it’s clear it’s Moors in those jeans which makes sense because My Moorish ancestors (not yours) conquered those parts in 711 A.D. You chicks are so slow and have no overstanding of world history/herstory you think that black men are caught up on white chicks. That might have been true in the 80’s or nineties but the internet is on deck. We have family in the south americas who are light skin, dark skin, and pale as well with asses like Michelle Obama. And they are in shape too. And they don’t make excuses for not working out (because i’ll sweat my perm out). Lol!!!. Best believe a Woman i marry again will know emphatically I don’t play that Baby Phat, Big Bonededness. Lol!!!! i work out and keep a well built physique. i expect (not just asking) the same from my Queen. I would rather take a woman from the jungles, who take a bucket from the shed, goes to the well to get water, and wash the clothes the old fashion way than deal with the mentality of the mentality of the black woman in america. Although it is an american woman problem, you all take the shit to a level that is unreal. And trust me, when I go to south america, I’m getting the top quality dear. I’m not ugly either. I get to pick like it’s the NBA draft full of dimes. The same man you disregard, you take that same man and put him with these traditional women, he thrives. Period. hell my dude went to cali and is with a philipine chick. In college, you couldn’t find mofos more pro-black than us but you know what I learned over the years? Every black man that has stood up for black people (including women) has either been killed, isolated, or locked up or all three. You know what disgust me about black women. It’s not even the fact that you all display obnoxious behavior and are as loose as a wild horse. it’s the fact that mofos died so you could be married. So you could have family. Only for you to completely reject as a group of women. Marriage is the basis of wealth building and it’s no coincidence that most successful men tend to be married. Ironic how a lot of the chicks out here who are successful tend to have done it at the expense of selling their bodies or selling their people out were either single or have been single (Beyonce, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Oprah, etc). Why Oprah not married? Can anyone answer that question? And if you say that she needs a Man on her level financially, I’m gonna say you’re stupid because there are plenty of men with money who marry broke ass chicks. I’m waiting for oprah and gayle to come out of the closet. Gail halfway did when she said if she was a man she would marry oprah. Lol. One thing I can say though and I mean this. I would never marry a woman who does not have a good relationship with her father and unless he’s dead, is not around to give her away at our wedding. If your Dad is not around to give you away to me, then that’s a bad sign to me already. My dad had his mistakes but he was a Man. My great Grandfather was a general. He was one of the best Men to ever walk this earth. His bloos flows in me and based on the integrity and honor he established as the Patriarch of our family, i would be committing a cardinal sin for bringing some ratchet ass females who don’t have any sense of family honor because if they did they wouldn’t embarrass their families in the streets the way they do. And when I say I honor the good ones, I don’t give lip service dear. You see my shit on here. Do I hold back on anything? What would I get out of just saying it for lip service? It’s clear I hold my balls in my hand silver back gorilla style. I don’t need the approval of some derelict ass chick. It’s gonna get said wheter you like the shit or not. Period. But the beauty about being a Man is that we hold the scepter. We ultimately choose you. You don’t choose us. If we don’t want your ass we don’t want ya. I choose where my seed goes. That’s the ultimate power. if men didn’t put seeds in you that would be the end of you black women. You can be wiped strictly by not being the recipient of a man’s seed. They asked Henry Louis Gates what would be the face of America in 50 years and he said Polynesian. You might get seeds in you from unsuspecting black men. But in terms of your family structure, what will it be? My eye discerns bullshit and this is a cesspool. My only mistake was to try to fit into this madness. It’s sick to try to fit into sickness. You can front all you want shorty but there is nothing healthy about the black woman. Spiritually she worships a deity who looks white when all people worship with sense at least worships a deity in the image of themselves. She then turns around and from a beauty perspective spends her dollars she slaves for on products begging him to look at her thinking she can fool him into believing she’s his woman. And then when this fails, she takes out this vindictive rage for not being able to be a white woma on her black man for feeling like she’s stuck with him angry he’s not the white man she really wants. Well let me tell you dear, the American woman does not have to feel stuck with this black man. I ain’t trying to hold back baby girl go ahead. soak these words in by killah priest which explains your position

    The plot was to stop the Nazarene (Black Jesus), break-up his black regime
    Smash his dream from being the greatest that rap has seen
    They laugh on scheming on ways to stop him on having CREAM
    That’s blasphemy!, to not mention his name in magazines
    Luckily the young warrior had madd esteem
    He kept writing, back in his lab he hears his pad extreme
    In the mist of all the chaos, he took half his team
    Call ’em Black Market and Maccabeez (This is my life)
    While the serpent used the worldly things
    To attract his queen, broke his heart she played the part Mary Magdalene
    Hiss in his words “That the others side of the grass is green”
    But I ain’t tryna to hold you baby, go head flap ya wings

    Epic words dear. You chose to take the serpent’s direction and now because you sold your soul to him, you must pay for it. It’s justice dear. Now while you pay for your sins, me and my Suns will set up shop on distant lands where the women know who the True and Living God is. The original Man (the Man who you used to have but you have no more) is the Truth. But because you fall for lies, you can’t recognize the Truth. But Queens wait for us in Tropical lands where we built pyramids long ago that sit beneath ocean floors. So you can say what you want about what you think my lineage but I come from greatness and have demonstrated it throughout my life and while you hoes were tricking off wasting time I have been building and 2013, unless this Mayan calendar proves true will be a great year for my team. really to be honest with you the black woman, in america, is like so 1990’s. You’ll went out of style when beyonce came on the scene. Your name in distant lands is synonymous with degradation and i hear this from other melanated women. Other black women from other cultures speak ill of you all here in america. So it’s not just me saying it it’s what you allow yourselves to be portrayed as. I don’t remember seeing you all in the streets tearing down pictures of nicki minaj posters or rihanna posters who represent filth and degradation. I’m pretty sure you bump it in your ride. And these are the type of females your daughters and faggot sons look up to. I don’t see black women in the streets protesting other black women degrading themselves. But boy when Nelly swiped the brawd booty with a credit card in the video, they had to have a conference at spelman about the shit. What about the women who willingly objectify themselves? Why you’ll don’t protest them? because when you see them you see yourself and that’s why you and I are having this discussion. We wouldn’t be having this discussion if your kind weren’t predisposed to being “fast” (old school term). And like i said earlier, I don’t defend hoes because you can’t. This is for those young females who think they have to be hoes to get their man’s attention. No dear that’s a weak minded woman. Being a virtuous woman gets a man’s attention everytime. Practice it and you will weed out those who are not looking for that. When dudes see you want a commitment they either stay or leave. If they leave then it means they just weren’t that interested in you. However, when you’re so sick that you run behind that which rejects you, then that’s stupidity. And we all know there are plenty on this website who have practiced this phenomenon. Chasing men who clearly don’t want you. The year igot married (2002) I met my ex-wife in june and by october. Why/ Because men know when they have found what they feel is the “One.” It doesn’t take a 5 year engagement for a man to know if the women he is with is for the long haul. And by the way this is a website for us, stop getting on here trying to dictate how the fuck long our responses should be. Damn can we hold our balls please without needing your approval. Lol. Not my fault your attention span is low. Just another example why we don’t care to fuck with you’ll. Bernie Mack may The Most High rest his soul was right “shut the fuck up.” Lol

  43. Jennifer says:


    Thanks for the feedback. You may have summed up how I choose to spend a little time on the internet. Your “observation” is not true of my general nature. I am actually quite non-confrontational and even submissive.

    My observation of you is that you seek approval or “brownie points”. I can almost see you beaming with delight as you ride the coattails of the author and in return get a virtual “pat” on the head as he appreciates your co-sign.

    Don’t be offended, I could be way off base; just an observation – peace