(ThyBlackMan.com) Anxiety is a very muddy space to live in. It is mauled with uncertainty, fear, and this can lead to miscommunication in many relationships. Anxiety can be caused by trauma, and deep-rooted fear. It presents itself in different ways for different people. This space can cause people to withdraw from others, deem their light, not speak up for themselves, or cause major miscommunication. Not being able to communicate without impatience can be very difficult depending on the triggers caused by said anxiety. This can make dealing with family, friends, and a significant other very difficult. Getting to know someone of interest can become complicated when the anxiety kicks in.
Sometimes you don’t know when the anxiety will hit. A conversation could be underway and as the person is answering you or speaking about themselves a trigger can be hit without them very being aware. They could feel like they are opening up and sharing about themselves when your anxiety has been triggered and the interaction is headed for a brick wall. The people in your life that love you have to understand your anxiety is not a choice, you are not able to simply wish it away, so there has to be a level of patience and understanding afforded you as navigate through your situation.
The push for understanding where anxiety is concerned has to come from a balanced space. Just because the diagnosis exist doesn’t mean it’s a pass to abuse those that love us. Sometimes we may have to bow out of a discussion or do an activity later so that the anxiety doesn’t become weaponized. This calls for self-awareness…it’s important to try an understand your temperature as much as possible. Patience is necessary in a relationship, but anxiety brings about impatience which leads to assumption. Anxiety doesn’t allow you to see your significant other the way you demand to be seen, and it’s important to understand this so that you can try to interact with them in a healthy manner.
If part of your anxiety is linked to trauma via relationships it is important to begin working through that, and healing before moving on to another person. When you are emotionally bleeding it is very hard not to get that on another person. Communication becomes difficult when they can’t talk on the phone as much as you’d like to quiet your anxiety, or they can’t text all day. It shows itself at times when they have plans with family and friends, or they need to hop off the grid for a bit of mediation and self-care. None of these things seem abnormal when you are doing them, as a matter of fact you will do them and don’t expect to be questioned when doing so. If you have a job whereby you can’t use the phone during the shift you’d expect the person you are getting to know to understand because it’s your job…you have to be willing to give them the same even if your anxiety is screaming. This is vital especially if this person has nothing to do with the cause of the anxiety. They might not be comfortable with paying for the actions of others.
Anxiety can cause serious impatience that is unfair…and impatience you wouldn’t tolerate. Knowing this is important because it can help you make sure you aren’t mistreating the person you care about. There is nothing worse than feeling like the person you care about fights with you regularly and you don’t know how to convey to them that you are all in. If the person you are with is violating boundaries and treating you with disregard don’t let them use your anxiety against you as if your position is invalid because of your diagnosis. At the same time don’t allow your anxiety to dictate a level of control that is unfair and can become abusive. It is important to strive for fairness in all spaces.
Staff Writer; Chelle’ St James
May also connect with this sister via Twitter; ChelleStJames.
