(ThyBlackMan.com) Every man should read this article because every man has a tolerance limit, a breaking point, a level where he has had enough and a point beyond that which represents the danger zone. And while women are no better than men, their methods of acting out can be very different – sometimes. This article is going to explore that “danger zone”, how men end up in that place and who or what contributes to helping, making or taking them there. A journey and destination that destroys men every day.
He seems to be a great guy, her family likes him and she is all into him. But then she is dead, he is in prison, friends and family are shocked on all sides (or at least pretend to be) and nobody learned a thing. Was he a bad guy, a closet psycho? Or was he pushed and pushed and pushed to the edge until he snapped? Sometimes the former, sometimes the latter and sometimes a bit of both. And all the while, she chose him in the first place because maybe, just maybe, he represented the dark side within her. That is a discussion nobody wants to have because they consider it blaming and shaming the victim. Or maybe they are sincerely clueless and in denial.
Unfortunately that is a discussion we must have in order to get to the truth, the root of the problem and who started the fire. To the ladies I say it’s always easy to point fingers until you are standing in front of the mirror. Then suddenly ladies your hands won’t move. When women kill men America makes excuses and calls these women victims who could not take it anymore. But when men kill women, they are treated like monsters. The double standard is both rampant and obvious to anyone with a brain.
We would all do well to remember that monsters can be male or female.
And making excuses for one gender over another not only advances denial, it also promotes the unfair treatment of men – a violation of “equal protection under the law” guaranteed by the 14th Amendment. If the victimized woman can kill when she has had enough, then we must acknowledge that a victim can kill. And if we acknowledge that a victim can kill, then a man who is a victim can kill too. In short, the woman is not always the victim nor the only victim. And victimization is neither determined by who is bigger nor who hits harder.
Is there any reason for violence towards another person (even a man hitting a woman)? It depends. It depends on what you call “violence”, what the circumstances are and who is in danger. The “why” is just as important as the “what”. Domestic violence is never justified, however some cases labeled as “domestic violence” are not domestic violence at all. Sometimes women push men too far and yes the law makes that distinction, even though it is easier for the police and the courts to simply label it “domestic violence” and blame the man.
How does the law make any such distinctions when courts and police officers generally don’t? Federal law calls for officers to determine the “primary aggressor”, the person who started the confrontation or aggression. Not to just take the man to jail because the woman is beat up. The law in many states also defines “opprobrious language” as fighting words. This means language that is so threatening and abusive that it incites actions towards the person who used them. For example, if your mom just died but your girlfriend walks up to you and says “that trick is dead, good and she probably burning in Hell anyway”. Such language is so vile, abusive, inappropriate and atrocious that it incites a person to possibly respond with violence. And these are just a few examples.
Women with attitudes and issues, whether they have borderline personality disorder, subconscious problems with men or they are bipolar, bitter or something else, are likely to push and push men verbally, emotionally and sometimes even physically. Yet they never consider themselves as abusive. Thank God my wife is not like that and nor was my mother. But I know too many women who are.
Guys if you become interested in women who push, prod, confront and attempt to rule over you, run! Leave! Find another woman! No matter how fine the mental woman is, no matter how much you care for her. Your safety, your freedom and yes even your very life may be in danger. And if you like or tolerate that, look in the mirror and ask yourself why. As a detective for years, I saw those type women and men ruined by them more times than I can count.
Men do not deserve verbal abuse, mental anguish, emotional abuse nor domestic violence victimization any more than women do.
Under the 14th Amendment to the Constitution men are guaranteed “equal protection under the law”. And it has nothing to do with who is stronger or the unbalanced instructions that the man should walk away. Why shouldn’t the woman be expected to walk away? Why is the expectation less of her if she is equal? Or is it that she is considered to be equal until she wants to be the “damsel in distress”?
Every human being has his or her limits.
And when he or she is pushed past those limits, the results can be deadly. I have even seen cases where the man tried to leave, only to be blocked by the woman or provoked into moving her out of the way – a move that she later tells the police is “abuse”. And all it takes is a police officer who is biased, fails to investigate the facts or fails to know the laws that apply – then presto, the man is the “perpetrator” big bad wolf and the woman is the poor helpless victim. While in most cases that may be true, in many cases it is a bold face lie.
Recently my office just fired a female who is a domestic violence advocate. We noticed her perception of men and that her spirit was damaged from the past. We noticed she was not in a relationship. We noticed in the book she wrote, she spoke of how she got in her ex-boyfriend’s face, provoking, challenging and verbally abusing him. She stated that in the book. We also noticed that she grew up with what she called “domestic violence” from her dad against her mom who was a police officer. But when we looked deeper into her book, she stated her parents would “fight”. Well guess what, a fight is a fight, not automatically domestic violence. I suggest she watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith. That was a fight.
The young lady I speak of has a mother who is still unmarried and with a jacked up attitude. And yes I spoke to her mother several times myself. Yet her father moved on, married again and built a family. So we have to wonder what the real truth is. One thing is certain, it was not simply an open and shut case of domestic violence.
But it goes even deeper. The sister of our former staff member was killed violently by her ex-boyfriend, shot several times and thrown in a ditch. Then he calmly went to the ATM several times and used her card. So let me point out there is a different between rage and insanity. People snap when they have had enough and they mean to do exactly what they do. When pushed too far that can happen to most people. I ask you, can you make even a peaceful, care free dog bite you? Yes, you can.
The sad part is that neither our former staff member nor her mother seem to have learned anything about pushing and pushing and pushing men to the edge. So we have to wonder if her sister did the same thing, causing the ex-boyfriend to snap. Let me say right now that there is no excuse for what the ex-boyfriend did, absolutely none. And he should pay for that dearly. But there are reasons it happened and my thought is that the young lady contributed to the problem. Do you make the wolf bit you? You can if you poke and prod and harass the wolf. So ladies don’t go there, no matter what you see in Waiting to Exhale. And understand this is my professional, qualified assessment, not just an off the cuff opinion.
Of course most courts and police officers will never dig that deep because it is a job for profilers, psychologists and psychiatrists. But the sad part is that I don’t think our staff member and her mother learned a thing about looking in the mirror, thus they may repeat the behaviors that push and push men to the edge. I hope I’m wrong but these truths, mindsets and behaviors make these women dangerous. Every time I think of many similar cases I encountered as a detective and even mediator in the past, it makes me cringe. It also makes me want to hug my wife and thank God for her even more.
In profiling the case I just told you about (and yes I had Criminal Profiling in the detective academy), I could identify the rage from the ex-boyfriend because of how he did what he did. A rage that occurs when people snap. A rage that occurs when people are pushed too far. Again do I condone what he did? NO I DO NOT, NOT AT ALL. But to understand how to prevent these incidents, it takes looking into all aspects of the case.
In summary, brothers stay away from women who push men too far. They need mental help. They are bitter, vindictive and dangerous. They are the Succubi that can destroy you and cause you to lose all that you have. I have seen it happen so many times, so many times. Don’t let it happen to you.
Staff Writer; Trevo Craw
A Free Thinker, who loves to talk about Politics, etc. Also, all about uplifting the Black Community even if it doesn’t fit your mindset. One may hit me up at; TrevoCraw@ThyBlackMan.com.
