(ThyBlackMan.com) The legal system, when dealing with men color, is like a rabid dog that will chase you down if you run. And justice? Well let’s just say it is almost never equal, seldom fair and often very biased. All the more reasons not to run from the judicial system in relationship and family matters as most African American men tend to do. Instead stand your ground and learn how to make the judicial system work for you.
IGNORANT OF YOUR RIGHTS? YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT HAVE ANY
My credentials are unimportant because credentials are not necessary for you to know the law and how to use the law to protect yourself. Just know that I have credentials and I did not run for Magistrate Judge largely because I developed cancer (all gone, thank God).
But before I say anything further, so no trifling woman nor feminist group will legally attack this article, I need to preface it with the following. I am not an attorney and do not represent myself as one. The information provided in this article is for information purposes only and disseminated based on my First Amendment right which I now assert. Any use of the information herein is the expressed responsibility of the user and in doing so, the user agrees to release the author from any liability whatsoever. Now let’s get into it.
DON’T JUST RELY ON AN ATTORNEY TO TEACH YOUR RIGHTS TO YOU
When I carried a badge, the biggest repeat mistake I saw amongst African American men regarding their attempts to resolve a problem with their “baby’s mamas” or in their bad relationships was the mistake of taking a defensive position instead of an offensive position. Overwhelmingly the men would be hauled into court to answer the complaints and charges of the women yet never initiate the same. Time after time the men would walk in only to be perceived as guilty until proven innocent when the reverse should have been true.
Far too many men made one or more of these mistakes. They would not call the police because they thought it made them look weak, they thought they would go to jail or they thought the police would automatically take the woman’s side. Many officers in fact do but that has changed some. And things change when we make them change, not when we avoid or run from them. All too often the men would leave the house because people always said “step away and go cool off”. But when the men left and the women called the police anyway, women constantly made up lies. And in the man’s absence there was nobody to refute the women’s claims so the police took the word of these women. Some women told the truth but many lied, exaggerated and even faked injuries. And many men went to jail anyway.
I know for a fact that man after man after man was set up. Or sometimes the man just moved out in order to keep peace – only to find the woman hand turned that against him by filing for cases of abandonment charges and having him barred from his own home without trail of any kind. I have handled over a hundred domestic calls and the women needed to be incarcerated more than you would believe. So men know your rights, prepare yourself, expect the unexpected, think and be prepared.
IF YOU ARE THE PROBLEM, DO NOT PRETEND THAT SHE IS! MAN UP AND CORRECT YOURSELF!
Women’s feminist man-hater groups are extremely well funded and very influential with the courts. But that does not mean it is hopeless for you. And neither they nor your “baby’s mama” are legally unstoppable. You can call 911 just like she can. And even if an officer does not come out, your call will be on file. In some cases it can even be helpful to call 911 because your “baby’s mama” acting the fool will be recorded and a good attorney can get those records.
So what are other solutions? I do not rule out counseling IF you can find a well-trained, balanced counselor who will see things clearly, treat both sides fairly, follow up regularly and offer real solutions that hold both of you accountable. He or she cannot be swayed by her tears nor deceived when she puts on an act. A good counselor will lean toward win-win solutions, not one side or the other and a good mediator should do the same. Mediation is therefore always another possibility because sometimes all it takes to resolve issues is a neutral third party – sometimes.
Yes God can fix anything. But that does not mean He will just because He can. It usually also takes the sincere and willing participation of both people involved as well. And sometimes you were with a woman you should never have been with in the first place, chosen for the wrong reasons. That comes back to bite more men than you would believe. Sometimes the unequal yoke will in fact choke.
Another solution, sometimes likely the best one, is to raise your standards and get away from a trifling woman. When you are being mistreated by a trifling, devious, bitter, evil woman, that is not the time to think about her and the kids. That is the time for you to think about you – your life, your safety, your sanity, your freedom.
MAKE SURE SHE IS NOT A FOOL BECAUSE SHE IS FOLLOWING A FOOL
But since that is nowhere as easy as it sounds, here is another solution. Record everything with your cell phone, at least audio. And in conjunction with your state’s laws because some states require that you tell her you are recording but other states do not. There are all types of clever recording devices you can buy online including ink pens, reading glasses, clocks, watches and even fake smoke detectors that record in 1080p. You have to be smart and think instead of emotionally reacting.
Another solution is to put an agreement on paper, you both sign it and then have it notarized. If she won’t go along with having it notarized, at least have her sign it and ideally in front of a witness. Another thing you can do is to keep an incident log including dates, times and witnesses. Another solution is for you to tell other people what is happening. Hopefully some of them will then pay attention and take note of incidents. They can prove to be valuable witnesses and they may even know good attorneys who don’t play games or others who can lawfully help you.
You can take your “baby’s mama” to court. But one of the worst things you can do is to dodge the courts, wait until she drags you in and then you start complaining about what she does. The judge will likely take the position that if your “baby’s mama” was so bad, you should have taken her to court. But since you did not and she brought you, the case against YOU is what will be dealt with today.
Do you see why I said maybe you should have taken her to court first brothers? If you did, she would be answering the charges or complaints instead of you. And while some of you may think taking her to court will ruin your chances of reconciliation, only make her more trifling, more vicious or more vindictive, don’t kid yourself. If she is that type monster, she is going to be that way whether you take her to court or not. Especially if she is getting advice from hateful, man-hating women and/or their organizations.
When you step up like a trifling woman does and learn to make the legal system work for you, she will know you are not a legal sucker. Even many trifling women respect that and it may just cause her to back off of her plan for you, think twice or adjust her bad attitude. Maybe. I have seen that happen too so we can only hope. But you gain nothing by bowing down and I guarantee you, if you do, it will be seen as weakness that can be exploited.
Women meet, think, collaborate, strategize and stick together. Sadly far too many men struggle with ego and stand against what we say nobody will make us do. That attitude keeps us from listening to the best advice, making the wisest decisions, coming together to help each other and from being prepared for how a trifling woman will come after you. So make sure everything you do and say is smart, lawful and strategic when you are dealing with a trifling “baby’s mama”. If you don’t listen now, later you will wish you had.
Find an attorney, a good one. And if you cannot afford one, purchase a monthly legal service package and use it to get advice and your questions answered. Beware that good attorneys who will inform you of your rights which could win the case and devastate the trifling woman are very hard to find. Be careful of those who simply take your money, brag they can get results then continue to drag things out with little to no results. They can be both sued and reported to the Bar Association in your state. If you’re looking for a lawyer, make sure they have good credentials, is true to his or her words, and is cautiously optimistic. These signs will help you identify a good one for your case. Most cases aren’t slam-dunks, and it is vital that your lawyer doesn’t make false guarantees and isn’t overconfident, regardless of how experienced he or she might be.
Interview the attorney before selecting him or her. Pull up a biographical sketch online or look for feedback from past male clients. Ask the attorney about his or her track record then verify it. Find out if he or she practices in the county or courts where you need to go – and how often? How does that court perceive him or her? There are good attorneys, great attorneys and attorneys who should be washing cars for a living. And it is a good idea to know when you can get advice from one then handle the matter on your own (pro se) or not.
Through your entire ordeal you are going to have to put your ego and your emotions in check and THINK SMART. I am telling you what I know is true. The undertaking of a trifling, devious woman is to trigger you to react emotionally so you will do something stupid without thinking and she will gain the upper hand. DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN!
There is so much more I want and need to tell you but you get the general idea. If you use your brain and think smart instead of reacting by using your emotions, you will come out much better. I suggest you go online and find men’s support groups for fathers or men who are going through Hell at the hands of a devious and trifling, bitter woman. Of course all of this assumes that you are a good man, not a fool and not a little boy.
All of what you have just read also assumes that you are trying to do the right thing including taking care of your children. This article is not for violent, egotistical, controlling nor unfaithful males who are little boys pretending to be real men. Be a real man. Set a good example. Our community needs that badly so PLEASE SHARE THIS ARTICLE WITH EVERY MAN/MALE YOU KNOW!
Staff Writer; Trevo Craw
