(ThyBlackMan.com) Fathers are important to the life of their children. They are just as valuable as the mother, and just as necessary. When a child grows up without there father there is an imbalance in how they were taught to see and deal with the world. When the child is a young boy, he is growing up without a mirror to model himself after. This doesn’t take away from the love given, and example set, by his mother. However, she is not a man so she can’t mirror manhood for him. She can’t mirror fatherhood…something he may one day experience with no reference in his own life. Not having a direct example of how to be a father, how to be a husband and love a wife and children can have an effect on future relationships. Black women had done their best in speaking to this matter. However, we need black men to open up and talk about their journey to fatherhood. They need to be able to do so honestly, and freely without our interjection or judgement. The beauty of “From Fatherless to Fatherhood” is a black man is speaking up.
Many of us know actor Omar Epps from movies such as Juice, Higher Learning, The Program, The Wood and Love and Basketball. Epps is married to Keisha Epps, from R&B group Total, and is the father of three beautiful children. In his book “From Fatherless to Fatherhood” he walks the reader through his life without a father. He opens up many different experiences without a father, the feelings it instilled, and seeing his father at 19 and driving off not knowing what to say. Epps discusses the similarities of his life to that od Q, the character he plays in the movie Juice.
Epps expounds on what it meant for him to embrace fatherhood and learning that the role is more than simply providing financial stability. He breaks down how not having a father, and those emotions that come with it, effected his marriage. He talks about finally letting his wife in to see the vulnerable nature of his feeling, and how that effected his thinking. It was interesting to read Epps expound on the different experience of having a child by a woman you are not in love with verses his experience with his wife in which he was very much in love. He covers so much of the fatherhood issue by just having a conversation with the reader about his life.
I would recommend this book to any brother that is dealing with a fatherless situation, and those dealing with it while trying to be fathers themselves. This is also a good read for women as it can give us an opportunity to understand the perspective of a man that grew up fatherless, and what he may be facing as he’s trying to work through a relationship with is lady, and his children. The book is very well written and feels personal. It will leave the reader with plenty to think about, and with a great deal of respect for Omar Epps as a black man. Take the time to check this book out; it would be a great read for community discussion as we seek to heal relationships between parents and children, and black men and women.
“From Fatherless to Fatherhood” by Omar Epps can be found on Amazon, and everywhere books are sold.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
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