(ThyBlackMan.com) Communication is something we can always afford to do better. It is necessary for any relationship to grow, yet often lacking. We live in a world that moves at 100 miles per hour, and the art of communication is lost on many of us. Though there is more technology that allows one to interact with their partner it is often found that there is still a breakdown in communication. Being able to speak, be heard, and understood is a necessity within relationships.
When you feel your partner is not listening to you, doesn’t make time to listen to you, or you have to compete to be heard you begin to question your value in the relationship. Furthermore, so many arguments can be avoided if communication was more effective. Below are five steps to help mend the communication in your relationship.
1. Put the Phone Down. This is extremely challenging for many people to understand. Every communication can’t happen via text messages, Facebook, Twitter, nor Instagram. Too much is lost when tone is not understood, and many fights happen over the 
misunderstanding of the messages. Furthermore., when trying to communicate with your partner in person…put the cellphone down. Granted, this behavior can be considered rude, but it also sends a signal to your partner that they are not important, and what they have to say is not important. Nothing feels worse then having wonderful news to share, but you can’t because your partner is more interested in chiming in to conversation Facebook.
2. Body Language Says Plenty. Having a body language that invites communication is important. No, you don’t have to smile all day, and some of what many need to be discussed can be unpleasant. However, folded arms send a defensive message, rolling eyes is both rude and dismissive, and looking off uninterested…well it sends the message you don’t care. That may not be truth of your feelings, but that is the message your partner may receive. That can cause a shutdown whereby your partner doesn’t feel they can come to you. Try to be in the moment, and display a calm focused demeanor that implies you are there and listening.
3. Listen to Understand. There is a huge difference between hearing and listening. Too many of us hear what’s being said, and are preparing what we plan to say as the person in front of us is still speaking. Take the time to actually listen to what they are saying…allow yourself to try to understand their perspective. You may find its in alignment with your own, or that you were about to misinterpret their intent. Respect your partner enough to listen.
4. Allow Your Partner to Speak. We were taught to speak one at a time. Its obvious we can’t have a dialogue if one party in the discussion turns it into a monologue. Both you and your partner deserve to be heard. Care enough to allow them to speak also. Both of you have feelings, days you want to discuss, and ideas…and both are equally important. Communication becomes distant when one person decides the conversation must solely accommodate them. Allowing your partner to speak, and be hear, is not just good manners…it conveys to them that they are important to you.
5. Spend Time Together. Making time for one another on a consistent basis makes communication easier, and more natural. As you get to know one another better you grow to learn each other’s love languages, and communication styles. Sometimes quality time can work magic on your communication.
As a relationship is a work in progress so is communication. Distractions like cellphones send damaging messages where communication is concerned, whereas time spent can better such through understanding. A positive working communication doesn’t happen overnight. Different couples require different things to communicate well, however respect and the need to be feel your partner is listening is necessary for every relationship.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.
