(ThyBlackMan.com) I can remember when I believed happiness was “something” I had to buy.
I remember thinking once I purchased the latest kicks, I would be happy. Once I felt the feeling of having the freshest shoes, I thought that having the fliest clothes would numb that searching or feeling of void.. When that became old, I purchased a dope car and felt like I had made it BIG. The car was cool for a moment but now I needed a house. I had to park my new-dope car in front of a new house…right? So, I closed on my first home and then started feeling that void again.
My subconscious convinced me that I needed a wife to complete this deal. Yeah that would do the trick. The second house and the wife 
came and went and when I look back on it all, I never felt that happiness I was yearning. Don’t get me wrong, I did have happy moments throughout the years. But it always seemed to leave as I chased my next accomplishment. Crossing off items, on my life’s to-do list, provided me with the theory of feeling as though eventually I would bring myself true happiness that I was in search of; for as long as I can remember.
It wasn’t until I literally lost everything that I realized I was happier than I had been in years. How was this possible? I took one or two years to really become reacquainted with myself. I began meditating, working out regularly, and even writing to tap back into my natural creativity. Through this process, I learned the most valuable lesson about happiness. It turns out that once I went with-IN and reconnected with myself, I found authentic happiness and realized it was inside the entire time. Seriously, I am no saint and I do still love nice things and pretty women. However, in my process of self-discovery, I learned it is okay for the heart to desire and want nice things. The difference now is I want or desire certain things because I want them;not because I think having them will complete me or add more value to who I am as a person.
This same concept applies to relationships. I know you know someone that can’t function if they are not in a relationship. Be it healthy or unhealthy. When the relationships fall apart some individuals are in another before the sheets are cold from the last. Many of us feel that we are not complete unless we have someone to validate or provide reassurance. The effect of living life with this notion is when that person is no longer able to fill that void you are back to square one.
Chasing the next relationship, thrill, or new purchase to try to bring happiness (even if you can only have it for a short period of time) will NEVER fill the void of self-love. In the process of maturing and self-development, we sometimes hurt good people and waste lots of time and money chasing the ghost of happiness. When all it takes is for us to stop and look with-IN ourselves to release that unlimited supply of joy.
Happiness or unhappiness is in the hands of only one person. That person is looking back at you each time you look in the mirror! Your past disappointments or heartbreaks have no validity. You can decide at this present moment to stop chasing happiness and start creating it for yourself!
