Coming into the knowledge of self: Pathway to SOLUTION after molestation CTA.

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(ThyBlackMan.com) I have written an article examining how victims of molestation cope with their experience by continuing the abuse (CTA) in the form of three behaviors: promiscuity, bragging, and dysfunctional relationships. Like habits, CTA behaviors manifest over time and are not easy to break. When we are practicing CTA we are owning the experience of abuse in order to feel in control and deny the role of victim. This is often a subconscious reaction to child abuse and adult molestation. Whereas the first article seeks to identify behaviors it does not offer solutions to discontinue CTA. We know how we got here. How do we stop?

Dr. Frances Cress Welsing said, people of color should examine everything in the context of racism/white supremacy; especially the conditioning of our minds. Molestation can be defined as: to break in upon and to disorganize in order to displace. For the sake of this article, we will call the above definition ‘The Method of Molestation’(TMOM). When you break down TMOM you understand the same method was used to enslave Africans; the infiltration (break in upon) of African villages in order to separate (disorganize) African families so to change their status of civilization and environment (displace).

The result of the success of TMOM waged against Africans who survived American slavery is ignorance of self. Likewise, the result of the success of TMOM waged against victims of sexual abuse is ignorance of sex; and when we do not know the purpose of self or sex we abuse or continue the abuse (CTA) of both. Therefore, victims of slavery and sexual abuse will follow the same path to discover a solution, and this article offers the following steps:

Let go of the environment of abuse: We often struggle to keep the company of our abuser or the home of abuse when we are seeking absolution. This is an unhealthy practice as every time you walk into the environment of your abuse you are:

Subconsciously giving away your power to choose refuge and,
Re-experiencing the abuse and your abuser

Note: Remember many slaves relocated after the civil war and many returned to their masters because of fear of independence and a lack of resources. This leads me to the next step.

Get independent: When we escape the environment (plantation) of abuse we have already developed CTA behavior. Amid CTA is the language and sexual behavior of abuse we must emancipate ourselves from. Continuing the behavior of abuse is no different than continuing the culture of slavery after the civil war. In order to reclaim our sexuality, independent of our abuser, we must dismantle the premature appetite for sex we developed during and after abuse by first acknowledging it is not our own.

Note: The NOI teaches the first step to freedom is changing our name from the name given to us by our oppressor to a native name.

This is a declaration of independence from the past for us to recite in solitude or in support-groups:

Say,

I am not my past.

I am not my thoughts OR

the emotions/behavior they produce.

I AM the consciousness that says, I AM.

Therefore, I am free to exist.

Get conscious: When African slaves were brought to the antebellum south their knowledge of self had been stunted; they had been stripped of their names (identity) and branded. Likewise, victims of child abuse (sexual) and adult molestation are wrought with a contaminated knowledge of sex and subconsciously begin to label themselves by practicing the CTA behaviors. When we recognize this as our experience and pattern of behavior we have already regained consciousness; now, in order to abstain from CTA, we must work to get the information denied us about sex by our abuser. Most notable ideologies about the purpose of sex will lead to the practice of a disciplined sexuality.

Note: When we are struggling to maintain a disciplined sexuality we are struggling to discontinue the behavior of our abuser (CTA).

Getting back to the nature of sexuality and self is becoming a student of the knowledge of truth (we were denied) in order to counter the waged war against our body, status of civilization, and identity. We will not know the vast amount of families harmed by TMOM and CTA until we all come out and come forth about our experience and heal. Until then it remains another system of oppression waged against our communities.

Previous Piece;

https://thyblackman.com/2016/07/01/continuing-the-abuse-cta-why-do-we-own-molestation/

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Staff Writer; Tylie Shider

Also connect with this brother over at; TylieShider.com.

Broderick Russell Jr. says:

July 9, 2016 at 9:48 pm

Very well written, bro. The way you commensurate molestation and slavery is just pure genius. Dr. Joy Degruy talks about post-traumatic slave syndrome and it’s clear that psychological abuse wasn’t the only thing passed down our generational line. Keep spreading the truth.

Respect

Lisa Lovell says:

July 5, 2016 at 7:24 pm

I enjoyed this follow-up to the first article. It provides a great start towards healing. Yet, my spirit tells me that you are holding back on the steps to healing. Don’t be afraid to “go in”.
Your first article washed off the “dirt” that masked the issue. This article is to me only like “lotion” on severely dry skin. You must go deeper and tell how to nourish the soul for proper healing.

Many abuse victims who have strong faith and hope, who turn to their church are usually further victimized by the “brow beating” they receive from church leaders and counselors. How do you keep them in the faith and believing God has a plan for their lives when they are hurting so deeply?

Great article Tylie. Don’t hold back. Let Him use you!
Best way to tell a story is to get witness.