(ThyBlackMan.com) We get references for our jobs but not for the person we invite into our bedrooms where our children live (read more).
Ray Rice controversy
Domestic abuse is a learned behavior- no different than whispering, backbiting, gossiping, etc. We all learned something negative at an early age with no deprogramming or no one telling us what we learned was incorrect until it’s deeply rooted and out of control. When this happens we need someone of importance teaching this little boy or girl from 0-5 years of age by uprooting the negative seed and replanting positive seeds at the most crucial age of a child’s life.
Just as difficult as it is for one to stop whispering, it is just as difficult for an abuser to control his behavior. Remember it’s learned, it’s bigger than why doesn’t he just stop. Try stop gossiping or being negative for a week. No it’s not the same, but learned behavior is.
This is a birth negative seed unintentionally planted at an early age into this child spirit without his permission or knowledge and watered throughout the years unaware of its origin and how it got there. The once victim, now victimizer who should know better since he is an adult, right?
No, he stills lack understanding/maturity and knowledge that a negative seed was planted in his spirit without his knowledge. There was still no one to perform surgery removing that plank. Public humility will only prevent others from coming forward (SHAME) while the violence will only increase.
Raise a child in the way of the Lord and when he grows old he will never depart…this is SPIRIT!! This simply means planting positive seeds into the spirit (not flesh) and though we may sway away from time to time from what we learned; we will always go back to those important years when the positive seed was first planted/ birth.
Just as we read in the way of the Lord, it’s imperative that we also read and teach to our youth and ourselves that to raise a child in the way of domestic violence, hate, racism, murder, assault, anger, negativity, depression, division, gossiping, crab tree syndrome, envy, strife, whispering, adultery, fornication, covet, drugs, alcohol, bullying and when he grow old he will never depart equals the same result….we are doing these things subconsciously without intentions unaware its infecting/affecting us and our children.
Fredrick Douglas quoted: “It’s easier to build strong children then repair broken men.”
? Frederick Douglass, Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Why do we think the world is the way it is? This goes back to we are a product of our environment. We only see the physical reactions of spiritual seeding and the physical/flesh acts out emotionally responding by HOW DARE HE? OMG? HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THAT? THAT’S INEXCUSABLE? But we dare not discuss this victimizer whom was and will always be a victim whom did not give anyone permission to implant that negative seed when he was that innocent child.
Our flesh are taught to respond (learn behavior) on the things we see (flesh) (WOW HE KNOCKED HER THE F*** OUT). The bigger the crime the bigger the emotional cry out. Beware of media, this guy needs help and so do his wife, many of our fathers, mothers and the fathers before us. Most of us are familiar with abuse. I am also a victim but was able to question my abuser and was in awe as to how my abuser was also abused. So much so, that his abuse was far worse than mine. I was able to forgive and move forward but not until I understood why me!!
He without sin cast the first stone. This scripture was created because God knew if he left his people in charge; someone would Judge sins by a high degree (MEDIA) and get the world emotional and not forgiving instead of bringing healing to all of Gods children. (Solutions people). This proves we are all emotional big kids cause we lack true understanding. This is only due to lack of knowledge. The less direction and knowledge we teach a child, the bigger the destruction he/she will cause in the life of others.
We all have to revisit and go back to when we were children being honest with ourselves. Did we hear, feel or was part of domestic abuse or some form of family dysfunctions. If so, unknowingly planted negative seeds were deposited into our spirit and our concentration should be how to remove those seeds because we are now infecting those in our lives. Every deposit must have a withdrawal and the world now knows what’s deposited in the spirit affects the physical. (ELEVATOR SCENE) Forgive your abuser and yourself and understand that you was already broken before you chose him/her. No unbroken (positive seed) can exist with a negative. Once removed, it will take time for you to heal. It’s called a process. Patience………
Don’t you think we owe it to our children to inform them or get them help and stop pretending they are okay when the physical signs (flesh) say differ? Example: FB negativity between adults equal school kids making fun of classmates and most of us have no idea it’s our child who is doing it.
Positive seeds equal positive physical behaviors. We have to remove with caution the negative seed from our spirit. He is still a child in an adult’s body infected and just as afraid as his victim (wife). Not knowing who to turn to due to insecurity (SHAME). Fight your fear and the seed will be removed. It’s a process. Mostly, we all in some forms mask our pain rather that be shopping, sex, drugs, alcohol, gossiping, negativity, whispering, adultery, fornication, promiscuity etc…
We parish for lack of knowledge. One of the main reasons for scripture “judge not less you be judge”. Every parent lacks knowledge in some form, and every child born from that parent will have negative and positive seeds planted based upon that lack of knowledge….the more knowledge, the less road travel. (More opportunities)
We all have been bitten by the negative bug and we all are either infected/affected but either way, we are infecting/affected all those we come in contact, we are spreading negativity, watering negative seeds that we never knew was created with no one to blame? We are in relationships based upon the physical (what we see) and no longer the spiritual (what we know).
We are a nation enticed by beauty and nakedness…..we know longer know how to pick the right person because we have been damaged and fed so much negativity that our seed has birth new seeds. I in no way condone or excuse Rays abusive behavior but because I’m not in my flesh, though disappointed I personally can’t be upset with a kid (Ray Rice) who has a different negative seed than mine that I may not be proud of.
And these seeds internationally are being watered by War, TV, Sex, Naked images, Economy, Corruption, abuse, News, Media, violence, Rape, and not realizing our kids are raised in the way of negativity and when they grow old he/she will produce negativity and not depart.
Be Ye perfect as I am perfect!!
Many of us don’t even know what that mean? I hear people say, I am not perfect? Perfect in the Webster dictionary means without error but biblically, in Hebrew (Arabic) it means mature. We are saying we are not mature and not even aware of it.
Have we ever asked ourselves why we can’t find a good mate? How many mates we have to have sex with or babies with before we find the one? But we say they are infected? Now how affected/infected are we? No pun intended!!! This is for those who wants to keep it 100!!
We get references for our jobs but not for the person we invite into our bedroom. How much sense does that make and we wonder why there are no good men or women. We need a mirror (looking glass self). Could the infected/affected be me? Remember you chose him/her to sleep with and now we don’t know why. If you have good (References) seeds, choose someone with good (references) seeds and if those seeds aren’t equally yoked, they still know how to work together despite separation.
Meaning, they will still give you great references and say great things about your character and you theirs. You will encounter some bad seeds (bad references) but you should have enough good relationships (references) that you still have enough room to create a list and omit those not worth mentioning. Moral to the story is we all are infected/affected and Mr. Ray Rice , just as Mr. gossiper are sowing negative seeds unaware of how to prevent it.
Turn off that TV for a second and LOVE ON YOU, tell your children every day that you love them, read with your child & learn your history and don’t be afraid to challenge what you been taught, go walking in the park with that child, join the PTA, show interest without excuses, get help for yourself despite what others will think, go to Self-help groups, find you quality Life Coaches, Physical trainers , health professionals, counselors and start loving yourself despite how you feel.
We have to deprogram in order to reprogram. Knowledge is power. Many of us need (seed removal) from our spirits. We are only perpetuating it by saying its them and not us. Mr. Ray’s reaction is just obvious to the naked eye. What’s hidden in most of our closet will cause us Shame, as some of us pray with earnest expectation that it stays hidden. IJS
Staff Writer; Barnard Greg
Also connect with this brother over at; http://streammyschool.com.
very well spoken.
You sounds like a man who has done his homework. I never thought or understood the actions of a person would come from a learned behavior.
Great article! Loved it!
Well said, Mr. Cherry. The mandate is placed before us to do our job “to pull up and tear down,take apart and demolish. Then start over, building and planting.” Self-Reflection…….
Thanks Bernard for allowing me to look at self instead of pointing fingers.
We often focus on the symtoms instead of the problem (core). Once we
understand & heal the problem (core) than we can empathetic & forgive
the symptoms! Not condoning the behavior but we’re all a decision away from
having a Ray Rice story because of core issues we may not have resolved! I’m
starting with the woman in the mirror!
Such a healthy and positive message. Healthy and positive parents, raise healthy and positive children. Your interpretation was head on and I really enjoyed the read!
B, that’s awesome! I cant think of a better person for such a prestigious invite. In my opinion, you are the epitome of what it means to be a MAN (a black man) & FATHER. I am so very proud of the man you’ve become and even more proud to call you “friend”
Profound analogy in comparing behavior ttrait. You are so right that no one sin is greater than another. Its rare wisdom when you can look deep inside and not be ashamed of what you see but know that you can be greatert than your circumstances. These are topics that need to be discussed in a new light and you bring that.. Keep up the needed and well laid out job..
Love that truth; spoken from a wise man… Keep dropping that knowledge…. Proud of you
I am so glad you wrote this article and it will help so many people address the issues of past, present and unresolved circumstances that many face day to day. Thank you for your bravery and speaking the truth, allowing YHWH, to move your spirit and touch others in a powerful way. Those that need to over come whatever trails and tribulations in their life! May you continue to be bless Greg! Big ups!
Now, this is so true! I support knowledge and awareness!
Very enlightening.
AH-MAZING, heartfelt, and true! The reality of this story has become the “American” way of living. As long as people are appeasing the masses, everyone is happy. The moment flesh wins and spirit loses, judgment begans to surface and celebrities become less human and more superior.
As a wife, I have put my husband in some uncompromising situations and the outcome has not always been good. However, how could I expect him not to react in a manner that was soothing to him, when I did what felt good to me? The world in which we live, merely thrive to exist based upon double standards of the seen. Last I checked, men are human as well, and not everyone is strong in spirit because that, too, is a learned behavior! Keep up the great work – this is beneficial and necessary in order to self-reflect for the next level of life!
Very informative.