(ThyBlackMan.com) This holiday weekend, all across this country a scenario will be playing out that has been taking place since the beginning of summer gatherings, family picnics and parties. At a BBQ near you there will be at least one instance of a guy alone or with friends, being approached by a female who is expressing interest. This will generally lead to one or two endings – game show bells sounding in the background, resonating with the sound of a “ding ding ding”, signifying a “connection” or a sad trombone and perhaps even the sound of a buzzer as the connection does not ignite anything other than trying to find a way out of the conversation.
Lately there is a lot of talk about women asking men out for dates, and approaching men instead of men having to do that. I have even seen a 30 day challenge on the net where women are supposed to sign up for a challenge that asks them to ask out at least 10 men on a date in 30 days. I always wondered if that was a trait that was truly found to be admirable by men or if this led to further role reversal and was detrimental to the relationship dynamic from the outset. Does this type of interaction lead to infringement on roles male vs. female? Or is that just old school thinking? Inquiring minds would love to know.
There was a time way back when, when a woman who approached a man would be considered the worst kind of Jezebel. It was not something a “lady” would do and there are still some who follow that train of thought. Some that will admit to it will say that takes the onus off them and makes it easier to identify potential (insert type of partnership here). Does it truly make it easier to find wife material or does it make it easier to get laid?
Since so many males are being raised in single parent households today, I wonder how that concept is instilled and what effect it ultimately will have on future male female interactions and relationships.
While yes, it does take some of the pressure off of the man to have a woman approach him first; does it start things off on the wrong foot to have her approach him as opposed to him making his interest in her known? It is also becoming common for women to ask men to marry them. How many men who have ever even contemplated marriage would feel that they are missing out on part of the “process” by having the woman ask him to marry her, instead of the other way around?
How many men want their future wives to walk up to them at a BBQ or other social gathering and ask them out? With it seeming like brothers and sisters are having increasing difficulties in connecting and finding a good mate – flipping the script as it were can be a useful way to rebuild that bridge or can cause further emasculation and or role reversal that some say are the reasons why the black family dynamic has changed to where the majority of households are single women.
Feel free to sound off on this topic (drops the mike and walks off stage)…
Staff Writer; Alinda Pete
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i think its healthy.and only emasculating to someone whose driven by machismo.its ultimately a woman’s choice anyway,so this takes alot of guesswork out.lol.different times/different rules.WHATEVER makes it easier for folks to relate and find love through clear and healthy communication gets my vote.
(who better than a woman to offer an emotionally comfy space to converse in?)
I think thats a fair assumption on both sides. Nobody likes being rejected. Question is are things so different that the roles need to change or the methodology needs to be revamped?
Well sister I’m afraid of rejection. Maybe it’s just the woman in me. Like many was taught men make the first move. Time for a change I guess…