(ThyBlackMan.com) According to Wikipedia, “jealousy is a secondary emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust.”
In numerous studies many people admit that jealousy plays a significant issue in their relationships. Jealousy can either be normal or abnormal, with the abnormal version being the most negative response or reaction to some actual or perceived act. Realistically, at some point in our lives we all experience being jealous. Part of our human nature is a sense of 
possessiveness when in an exclusive relationship. There is something wrong if you don’t feel jealous when a person flirts with your partner. But jealousy in its worst form can be excessive and is usually what wrecks relationships.
Jealousy causes worry, anxiety or paranoia
Continual anxiety, worry and paranoia are both the signs and the effects of jealousy in a relationship. Some people are prone to be more jealous than others. And those who are tend to have the most problems. For example, a woman named Sandra is quite a jealous person and is in a relationship with Frank. The effects of her jealous nature means she might consider every woman they both meet as a threat to their relationship. And if Frank is an extrovert who happens to be very social and friendly, Sarah might interpret that as him inappropriately flirting.
As a result, paranoia can affect both of them. Sandra can allow her worry and anxiety to develop into paranoia so that she is afraid that most women are a threat and/or danger to her relationship with Frank. Paranoia can also affect Frank because he will soon start to feel and think that everything he does is going to be wrongly interpreted by Sarah. He will feel like she is just waiting for him to do something wrong and thus be justified in her accusations. Next thing that happens is Frank will begin to withdraw from the relationship.
How do you step out of jealousy?
Experience the feeling– when you tell yourself to stop being jealous the feeling can actually increase. You have to allow yourself to feel jealousy by facing it and fully experiencing it. Once you do, you will then be able to realize that those feelings of jealousy will pass. Close your eyes and try to imagine the feeling, where is it coming from? In your stomach, your throat or is it in your heart? Allow the feeling to surround you and recognize that it isn’t you but an insecure person that needs attention for survival. Reminding yourself that you are not that person can relieve those feelings of jealously.
Love yourself – Start accepting and loving who you are. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are fine as you are and comparing yourself to someone else unnecessarily creates jealous feelings.
Find out what is threatening you – You have to know your insecurities and who makes you feel that way. Is the person a real threat to you?
Honesty – Relationships can be saved with honesty. If there were past lies, infidelities or deception jealousy becomes valid. This has to be resolved so that the relationship can be healthy and grow. The only way is through honesty.
Talk to a counselor – It can be impossible for a couple who have issues to talk about their problems alone. Sometimes they need to seek some help from someone who is a professional and can be trusted to handle these kinds of issues. A counselor, therapist or a pastor may be the right person to call.
Head Writer; Thomas Jones, Jr.
