That may not sound flashy to folks chasing noise, but ask any grown person still healing from an empty chair at the table. Ask somebody who remembers waiting by a window for a car that never turned in the driveway. Ask the little one who learned early not to expect too much because expecting too much hurt worse. Being there may sound plain, but plain things can be sacred. Bread is plain. Water is plain. A front porch light is plain. Yet when you need them, they feel like mercy.

A man can buy a gift and still leave a hole. He can send money and remain distant. I am not making light of providing, because any grown person knows bills do not pay themselves. Food, shoes, rent, gas, school clothes, medicine, and all those little fees coming home in folders matter. Still, a young soul needs more than the hand that pays. A family needs the face, the voice, the ride, the correction, the laugh, and the steady witness of a grown man who does not vanish when life gets heavy.

Down South, many of us came up around men who loved in a language made of work. They rose before daylight and came home smelling like sweat, dust, oil, tobacco, grass, or whatever job had claimed their bodies that day. Some did not say much. One might sit in the same chair every evening like he was trying to hold the whole house together by being still. I respect that. A working man deserves honor. Yet truth is truth. Certain homes were starving for words that never came.

A boy may have known daddy cared because the lights stayed on, but he still needed to hear, “Son, I am proud of you.” A girl may have known protection, but she still needed a patient ear when her heart was tender. Many older men were not cruel. They were limited by what had been shown to them. Hard times taught survival, and survival does not always teach tenderness. So now another generation of brothers has to decide what to keep and what to lay down.

That is where breaking old family trouble begins. Not with a big speech. Not with a church announcement. Not with acting better than the people who raised us. It starts in a quiet place, usually inside a man’s own chest, when he says, “Some of what I received helped me. Some of it hurt me. My children do not have to carry all of it.” That kind of honesty will shake a man if he lets it. It makes him look back without lying and look forward without fear.

Every family has a pattern if you study it long enough. Silence may sit beside the dinner plates. A hot temper may pass from one generation to the next like an old pocketknife. Leaving may get dressed up as freedom. Coldness may be called strength. Shame around tears, hugs, apologies, and gentle talk may hide inside common sayings. Then one day a son repeats what wounded him, and everybody acts surprised.

A present dad interrupts that story. He may not do it perfectly. Most men do not wake up one morning healed from everything that bent them. But he tries. He catches himself before the old anger takes over. He lowers his voice when pride wants to raise it. He tells the truth when an excuse would be easier. He goes back into the room and says, “I handled that wrong.” Some folks do not understand how powerful that is. An apology from a grown man can put air back into a house.

To be a father is to live under observation. Children study a man in small places. The way he talks to their mother. The tone he uses with a waitress after a long wait. How he treats the mechanic, the cashier, the older neighbor easing across the yard. Church clothes can look good on Sunday, but home tells the truth by Tuesday. A young person picks up more from daily conduct than from any speech. The house is teaching, even when nobody calls it a lesson.

That is why discipline must be handled with wisdom. I believe in correction. A child without boundaries will make life harder for themselves and everyone around them. Young folks need chores. They need manners. They need to know that every mood does not deserve an audience. Somebody must say no and mean it. But correction should not become a place where a grown man dumps his old pain on young shoulders. A child ought to be guided, not crushed. There is a difference between raising a voice and raising a soul.

Our sons need that difference. A Black boy already has enough weight waiting on him outside the door. The world may misread his size, his silence, his walk, his clothes, and even his confidence. Home should not become another place where armor is required every minute. His dad has to teach strength, yes, but also judgment. Teach him when to speak. Teach him when to leave. Teach him that jail, pride, and a funeral can all grow out of one foolish moment. Teach him that manhood is not noise. It is responsibility with a backbone.

A daughter cherished by her daddy grows up with something solid beneath her feet. Respectful attention will not feel strange because she first saw it at home. Cheap affection may still come knocking, but it has a harder time fooling a girl who has already been valued. Her father shows her that strength does not have to sound harsh, and protection should never feel like a cage. When he honors her mind and listens with patience, he helps place dignity where foolish talk cannot easily reach.

Sacrifice is part of all this. No honest man can deny it. Children cost money, sleep, time, patience, and sometimes dreams that have to be delayed. A dad may pass on something he wants because the house needs something else. He may wear the same coat another winter. Work a shift that makes his feet ache. Miss a game with friends because math homework is waiting at the table. Bite back a selfish word because peace matters more than winning. That is not weakness. That is grown man business.

But let me say something for the brothers who are tired. Do not confuse sacrifice with slowly disappearing. Plenty of men are in the house but gone inside themselves. They are so busy carrying everybody that nobody notices their spirit limping. That is dangerous. Talk to somebody with sense. Pray before bitterness gets comfortable. Get your body checked. Rest when you can. Laugh sometimes. Let your children see you care for yourself without guilt. A worn out man can love deeply and still need help.

A good dad also lifts more than his own address. When a man raises his family with care, the neighborhood benefits. Teachers feel it. Coaches feel it. Churches feel it. Other young people notice. A boy down the street may see him loading groceries, cutting grass, holding a baby, or walking his daughter to the car, and that image may stay with him longer than anyone knows. We talk a lot about community, but community is built by daily examples before it is ever built by slogans.

That is why staying matters so much. Not just showing up for the easy moments, but standing near the hard ones too. The attitude. The report card. The slammed door. The quiet ride home. The hospital room. The awkward conversation. The unpaid bill. The child who disappointed you. The child who needs you after you have already given all you thought you had. Those are the places where love becomes more than a word.

No, every good father will not be famous. Most will not be thanked enough. Some will grow old and still wonder if they did enough. But small memories remain. The necktie lesson before church. The tire changed in the driveway. Dishes washed after supper. A prayer spoken low when trouble sat heavy in the room. A firm hand helping somebody stand again after life knocked them sideways. More than anything, a child remembers the man in the audience clapping like that little moment meant the whole world.

Being present is the real flex because it leaves something money cannot purchase. It leaves a covering. It leaves a memory. It leaves a better road. It tells a child, “You are not out here by yourself.” In a world full of noise, that kind of steady love may look ordinary to some people, but do not be fooled. A man who gives his family that gift is doing holy work, and long after the applause fades, his children will still be walking under the shade of what he planted.

Staff Writer; Lee Walker

This brother is a fitness trainer with 12 years of experience, focused on building strength, clarity, and real health within the Black community. Through his writing, Mr. Walker hopes to uplift younger Black men and men in general through honest conversations about fitness, financial pressure, fatherhood, discipline, mental wellness, and the importance of brotherhood.

Have questions? Reach me at LeeW@ThyBlackMan.com.

A lot of Black men understood early that Obama was going to face pressure most presidents never had to deal with. You could feel it before he even entered the White House. Folks questioned where the man was born. They mocked his name. Some acted uncomfortable simply because a confident Black man with intelligence and composure suddenly stood in front of the entire world commanding attention. Brothers watching all this unfold knew exactly what was happening even when television tried pretending otherwise. Many of us grew up understanding how quickly society can become threatened once a Black man carries himself with confidence without asking permission from anybody.

What impressed me most about Obama was the restraint. Now let us be honest as Black men for a second. There were countless moments where many brothers would have snapped publicly dealing with the level of disrespect he faced. People interrupted him. Mocked him. Lied about him daily. Tried reducing everything about him down to anger, race, or conspiracy theories. Yet the man stayed composed over and over again. That taught many young Black men something important without him even saying it directly. Emotional control is power too.

See, many brothers grow up being told we must remain calm in situations where others are allowed to lose control freely. One emotional reaction can cost us jobs, opportunities, freedom, or even safety. Obama understood that reality deeply. He knew certain people desperately wanted him angry because anger would have fed stereotypes already sitting inside their minds. Instead, he often answered pressure with preparation, patience, humor, or silence. Watching that level of discipline inspired many brothers quietly whether they admit it or not.

The thing I respected was that Obama never came off weak either. Some people confuse composure with softness because modern culture worships loud behavior. Obama never needed fake toughness to command respect. He walked into rooms filled with world leaders and looked completely comfortable standing there. The brother understood who he was. Young Black men needed to see that badly during those years because too often society pushes brothers toward extremes. Either you are expected to be overly aggressive or completely passive. Obama showed another lane entirely.

And let us talk honestly about what it meant seeing a Black family inside the White House carrying themselves with dignity. That mattered deeply inside Black households across America. Seeing Obama speak proudly about his daughters. Seeing the respect between him and Michelle Obama. Seeing structure, education, love, and discipline connected to a Black family on the world stage changed how many young brothers viewed themselves mentally. Some people will never fully understand how powerful that image became for Black America.

For years society pushed narratives about broken Black homes constantly. Television loved showing dysfunction while ignoring millions of hardworking Black fathers raising families quietly every day. Obama represented another image entirely. The brother looked like somebody grounded. Somebody thoughtful. Somebody trying to lead while still protecting his family from the madness surrounding politics. A lot of older Black men respected that because many came from generations where carrying yourself with dignity mattered heavily.

Another thing young brothers connected with was Obama making intelligence look powerful. Let us keep it real. In some environments, young Black boys get pressured into hiding intelligence just to fit in socially. Some brothers grow up feeling like education somehow makes them less authentic. Obama changed that mindset for many people. The brother read books openly. Spoke carefully. Thought deeply before answering questions. He made professionalism look strong instead of corny. Teachers noticed it. Parents noticed it. Young Black men noticed it too.

Even the way Obama handled criticism taught lessons. There were politicians and media personalities saying outrageous things about him constantly. Some crossed lines previous presidents probably never would have experienced publicly. Yet Obama rarely lowered himself into emotional chaos. That patience frustrated many people because they wanted him rattled publicly. They wanted to see the angry Black man stereotype come alive on television. Instead, Obama stayed disciplined.

Now that does not mean everybody agreed with every political decision he made. No president escapes criticism. Some brothers wanted him to move differently on certain issues. Others wished he addressed race more directly during particular moments. That conversation is fair. But this article is bigger than political debates. This is about recognizing how the man carried himself under unbelievable pressure while the entire world watched his every move.

A lot of Black men saw pieces of themselves in Obama’s balancing act. Going into workplaces where you know people question your intelligence before you even speak. Feeling pressure to remain composed while others get emotional freely. Understanding one mistake can follow you longer because you are Black. Obama navigated all of that publicly on the biggest stage imaginable. That reality connected deeply with many brothers trying to survive similar pressures in everyday life.

I also think older Black men felt emotional watching Obama because they came from generations that never believed they would see a Black president during their lifetime. Some lived through segregation. Some marched during Civil Rights years. Some grew up watching Black men denied opportunities openly. Then suddenly there was a Black family living in the White House carrying themselves with grace while representing America globally. That meant something beyond politics.

Young brothers especially needed that example though. They needed to see a Black man operate with confidence, intelligence, patience, humor, and emotional discipline without constantly proving masculinity through aggression. Obama gave many young men permission mentally to think bigger about themselves. College suddenly felt more reachable for some. Public speaking looked cool again. Reading books did not seem lame anymore. Representation matters whether people admit it or not.

One thing I always respected was how Obama never seemed desperate for validation. The brother looked secure inside himself. He could joke naturally. He could speak seriously when needed. He could stand firm without screaming. That type of confidence inspired many Black men because true strength usually speaks calmly.

Now before somebody jumps straight into policy arguments, understand this piece focuses more on the cultural and emotional impact Obama had on many Black men across generations. Brothers respected how the man handled pressure because life already teaches many of us how heavy pressure can become.

And honestly, I would like to know what moment during Barack Obama’s presidency connected with you personally the most. Was it election night? A speech? Watching him interact with his family? Or maybe it was simply seeing a Black man carry himself with grace while the whole world waited for him to fall apart publicly?

Staff Writer; L.L. McKenna

Politics explained through the lens of justice and equity. Offering perspective that informs, challenges, and empowers.

One can contact this brother at; LLMcKenna@ThyBlackMan.com.

Some of us were trained before we had words for it. Do not smile too much. Do not look too happy. Do not let folks think you are soft. Do not let strangers read you. Watch your mouth. Watch your hands. Watch your face. Boy, that is a lot to put on somebody who is still learning how to be alive. Yet many of us grew up hearing warnings wrapped in love, because our fathers, uncles, coaches, and grandfathers knew the world could mistake an open spirit for weakness.

I understand why they taught it. I am not sitting here acting brand new. There are places where a Black male has to pay attention. A wrong look can cause trouble. A wrong tone can invite foolishness. A wrong step can turn a simple day into something heavy. We know that. Still, I wonder what all that caution has cost us. A man can spend so much time protecting himself that he forgets what his real face looks like when nobody is threatening him.

There is a certain kind of smile I miss seeing. Not the picture smile. Not the one people use when they are trying to sell something. I mean that slow, easy one that comes when a man is at peace for a minute. You might see it when he is holding a grandbaby. You might catch it when old school music comes on at a cookout. You might notice it when he tastes something that reminds him of his grandmother. Nothing big happened. No trumpet sounded. His soul just had a small opening, and something good walked through it.

We need to stop acting like a good moment has to be earned. That is where many of us get trapped. We tell ourselves we can rest later. Laugh later. Sit down later. Enjoy our people later. After this bill. After this repair. After this doctor visit. After this school issue. After this job stops acting crazy. But later is slippery. Later will let a man chase it for forty years and still not turn around. At some point you have to take the mercy sitting right in front of you.

I am not talking about being careless. A grown man ought to handle his responsibilities. Nobody who loves his family wants to be lazy, childish, or absent. That is not the point. Responsibility was never meant to rob a man of his light. You can pay bills and still laugh at the table. You can be firm and still show warmth. You can correct a son and hug him afterward. You can lead a home without walking through it like a storm cloud. Some of us think we are showing strength, but the people close to us may only feel distance.

A wife can feel that distance. Children can too. They may know you love them, but they may not know how to come close. They hear the car pull in and start checking the mood in the room. They know whether the chair squeaks, whether the keys hit the counter hard, whether the television goes on before anybody gets a word in. That is not written to shame any man, because I know work and pressure can drain the best of us. Still, we ought to ask ourselves what our homes feel like when we enter them.

A father’s smile can change the weather inside a house. It can tell a little girl she does not have to perform for affection. It can tell a boy manhood does not have to look like silence and a clenched jaw. It can tell a wife that her husband is still reachable, not just present. That matters. A lot of families have men who provide, but everybody tiptoes around them. Provision is important, but warmth is part of covering a family too.

I think about the older men I grew up around. Some of them laughed loud at the barbershop, then went quiet the minute they got home. Some could joke with friends, but struggled to speak gently to their own children. Some had been hurt so long they did not know how to soften without feeling exposed. I see them differently now. Back then, I thought they were just hard. Now I know many were carrying things nobody ever asked about. Grief. War memories. Racism on the job. Debt. Failed dreams. Bad knees. Regret. Pride. A man can bury a whole life under the words, I am fine.

That is why brothers need other brothers who will tell the truth without clowning pain. We need friends who can say, “You alright?” and mean it. We need circles where a man can admit he is tired without somebody calling him weak. We need older men who can show younger ones that faith is not only about enduring. It is also about receiving. God did not breathe life into us just so we could grind ourselves into dust. There is blessing in a quiet meal, a child’s laugh, a decent night of sleep, and a sunrise you actually stop to notice.

Southern folks know how to stretch a small blessing when we let ourselves. A plate from somebody who can cook. Shade under a tree. A neighbor waving from the porch. Rain hitting a tin roof. Somebody at church singing off key but meaning every word. A fish fry where nobody is in a rush. These things may not impress the world, but they have carried our people through many seasons. Maybe that is the lesson. Gladness does not always come dressed up. Sometimes it shows up in work pants, with a paper plate in one hand and a folding chair waiting in the yard.

There are times when a smile will not come easy. Loss can sit on a man’s chest. Bad news can steal the taste from food. Money trouble can make sleep feel impossible. Marriage strain can turn home into a place of tension. Sickness can humble anybody. I would never tell a hurting brother to pretend. Pretending is not healing. But I would tell him not to give all his days to sorrow. Even in a hard season, one honest laugh is not betrayal. It is not denial. It is a small reminder that pain is not the owner of the whole house.

So I am saying this to myself as much as anybody else. Stop waiting until every problem is solved before you let your face soften. Stop treating gladness like a paycheck you have not earned yet. Stop thinking your family only needs your labor. They need to see you live. They need to know you can feel good without apologizing for it. Brother, you do not have to prove you suffered enough. You do not have to win every fight first. Black men, joy is not something you have to earn. Sometimes it is already near you, waiting for you to stop pushing it away.

Staff Writer; Lee Walker

This brother is a fitness trainer with 12 years of experience, focused on building strength, clarity, and real health within the Black community. Through his writing, Mr. Walker hopes to uplift younger Black men and men in general through honest conversations about fitness, financial pressure, fatherhood, discipline, mental wellness, and the importance of brotherhood.

Have questions? Reach me at LeeW@ThyBlackMan.com.

Some of it helped me. Some of it did not. That part matters.

A lot of us grew up learning how to deal with life by just pushing through it. No real space to talk things out. You just keep moving. Keep it inside. That might work when you are younger, but once you have a child looking at you, it hits different. They see more than you think. The way you talk, the way you react, even when you go quiet. They feel all of that.

I caught myself one day responding in a way that felt too familiar. Not something I thought about, it just came out. That is when it hit me. If I do not check myself, I am going to pass that same energy down without even trying to.

That was not sitting right with me.

One thing I had to start doing was slowing myself down. Sounds simple, but it is not. Taking a second before reacting. Not letting emotion run everything. That one change alone saved me from repeating a lot of things I am trying to move away from.

Being a father will make you slow down whether you want to or not. It is not just about taking care of responsibilities. Anybody can pay bills. It is deeper than that. It is how you show up when it is just you and your child. No audience. No pressure from outside. Just you.

Are you really there or just in the room.

I had to check that too.

Another thing that helped me was putting the phone down more. Sounds small, but it is real. You cannot say you are present if your mind is somewhere else. Sitting down, listening, actually hearing what your child is saying. That builds something you cannot fake.

I used to think I had to have everything figured out. That will wear you out quick. Truth is, you do not. You just have to be honest and consistent. Kids know when you are trying. They pick up on that.

Talking was not always easy for me either. I did not grow up in a space where everything got discussed. It was more about doing what you were told and moving on. As a father, I had to learn how to explain things. Not just say do this, but break it down in a way that makes sense.

That changed a lot.

It opened the door for real conversations instead of just giving orders.

There were habits I had to catch myself on too. Tone. Patience. The way I respond when I am stressed. Life does not slow down just because you are trying to do better. It keeps coming. So you have to learn how to move through that without letting it spill over onto your child.

That part takes work.

I also had to learn how to say I was wrong. That was not something I saw much growing up. But it matters. Going back and fixing it when you miss the mark. That shows something real. It shows accountability.

And kids remember that.

At some point I realized I am not just raising a child. I am shaping how they see the world. The way I handle things now is going to show up later in how they deal with life. That thought alone made me move different.

Not perfect, just more aware.

I used to think I had to carry everything on my own. A lot of us think like that. But having somebody to talk to, even just one solid person, makes a difference. You do not have to put everything on display. Just having a place to let some of it out helps.

That is something I want my child to understand too. You do not have to hold everything in to be strong.

Strength looks different than what we were taught sometimes.

Consistency is what really changes things. Not big moments. Not speeches. Just what you do day after day. Being there. Paying attention. Following through.

It is not exciting, but it works.

There are going to be days where you feel like you got it right. Then there are days where you know you could have handled something better. That is part of it. You do not ignore it. You learn from it and keep going.

That is how growth happens.

I also started creating small routines without even thinking too hard about it. Checking in. Talking. Spending time without distractions. Nothing complicated. Just being intentional with the time we have.

Those moments build something over time.

You do not always see it right away, but it is there.

For me, a lot of this came down to deciding I was not going to just repeat everything I came from. Not throwing it all away, but being real about what needed to change.

Keeping the good. Letting go of what did not help.

That balance is not always easy, but it is necessary.

I had to learn patience with myself too. You are not going to fix everything overnight. Some things take time. Some things you do not even notice until later. That is why you stay aware and keep working.

Being present became one of the biggest things for me. Not halfway there. Fully there. Listening, engaging, paying attention. That is what builds connection.

Not money. Not gifts. Time.

I want my child to feel seen. That matters more than anything else. Feeling heard. Feeling supported. That is something I did not always have, so I make sure it is there now.

That is part of doing things different.

Creating something stronger for them to build from.

And it does not have to be complicated. Simple things done consistently go a long way. Conversations. Time together. Showing up when it counts.

That is what sticks.

At the end of the day, this is about growth. Not just for them, but for you too. Being a father will push you in ways nothing else will. You either lean into that or you fight it.

I chose to lean into it.

It starts with awareness, but it does not stop there. It is what you do after that matters. The choices you make, the effort you give, the way you keep showing up.

It is not easy, but it is worth it.

Even within the Holy Scriptures, after the moment in which Jesus quelled the turbulent winds and the sea by declaring, “Peace, be still,” his devoted disciples posed the question, “What manner of man is this, that even the wind and sea obey him?” (Mark 4:35-41). It is crucial for all individuals, especially fathers, to acknowledge that their criteria for manhood, as well as their definitions of a successful father, should not be dictated, established, or compared to any other individual or established standard. Instead, these criteria should be aligned with the teachings of God and His Son, Jesus, who serve as our exemplary models and standards to emulate.

In 2016, the critically acclaimed film “Fences” featured the world-renowned actor Denzel Washington, who emphasized to all fathers, prospective fathers, their children, and every attentive listener that while fathers are not obligated to have affection for their children, they do possess a responsibility, a duty, and an obligation to act in their children’s best interest, as they owe them more than just the life that they helped bring into existence with the assistance of God. Every father, irrespective of his present circumstances, past achievements, or current challenges, must recognize that each day he awakens, he owes a duty to God, himself, and his child or children. The failures we experience as men and fathers yield a compounding effect that incurs interest that we may never fully repay within our lifetimes. Every individual who is fortunate enough to assume the role of a father must endeavor daily to fulfill all his obligations.

As we commemorate another Father’s Day, we all must refer to our roadmap for success, which is the Word of God. In the book of Genesis, Chapter 27, we uncover several insightful and sacred principles that illuminate what every father is obligated to provide for his children. Gone are the days, times, and beliefs that held the Black community hostage, where Black Fathers held to the notion that all I must do is get them to the age of 18, and my job is done. In the passage, in verse 1, we observe Isaac in the later years of his life continuing to remain present and accessible to his children, both of whom had reached an age sufficient for marriage and for the procurement of food independently. Frequently, we falter in our roles as fathers due to our lack of presence and availability. To achieve success as a father, as prescribed by the word of God, it is imperative that one embodies both qualities. An excessive number of individuals find themselves physically present yet emotionally unavailable, as their thoughts, anxieties, and concerns overwhelm them. In the text, Isaac is depicted as elderly and afflicted by diminished vision, yet he remains both present and accessible to his two adult sons. We must also recognize that mere presence is insufficient. It is the desire of God for us to engage in the lives of our child or children actively.

If any man aspires to embody the qualities of a father that aligns with divine approval, it is imperative that they are not only present and accessible but also recognize that, even when their children reach adulthood, they should continue to offer guidance, instruction, and teaching, as exemplified by Isaac in verses 2-4. The bible says, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of your mother” (Proverbs 1:8). For a son or any child to receive guidance from a father, it is imperative that the father possesses insights that are impactful, transformative, and in harmony with the teachings of the word of God. The focus of our guidance to our children should no longer center on the pursuit of monetary gain, seeking revenge, or strategies for attracting the romantic partner of our dreams. Whether we acknowledge it or not, we provide our children with guidance daily, even in moments of silence, through our actions and behaviors.

Each day that we are privileged to awaken constitutes a blessing and a miracle bestowed upon us by God. Just as God, who is our heavenly Father, bestows and grants us blessings as a father, we should aim to bestow blessings upon our children throughout their lives, like Issac did in verses 4 and 29. When God bestows upon a man the role of fatherhood, it is imperative that he becomes resolute and maintains such focus, for the implications extend beyond his concerns. Regrettably, many children endure hardships because their fathers remain consumed by self-centered beliefs. The aspiration and prayer of every father ought to be to ensure that his children experience a life that surpasses his own.

In other words, every father should have something to give to his children besides debt and a rolling stone mentality and legacy. Should one examine the text that Isaac provided to his children without any prior prompting or request, it becomes apparent that Isaac exemplifies for fathers the imperative of surpassing the immature mentality that has impeded our community. This mentality is delineated by the predominant belief among numerous Black men that assistance in nurturing the success of their sons or children in adulthood is only merited when explicitly solicited or pleaded for. As Isaac prepared to bestow blessings upon his sons, he indeed recalled the various challenges he had encountered throughout his own adult life. Consequently, I urge every father to reflect on this and to transcend the belief that their children must struggle unnecessarily as adults to be successful.

While most individuals strive to navigate life debt-free, every father must realize that when he is blessed with fatherhood, he now owes a debt for the remainder of his life, even after his children have grown into grown adults. Every father owes his children his presence, his availability, and he owes them guidance and blessings throughout their lives. The pertinent question arises: as a father, what obligations do you hold towards your children, and are you fulfilling those obligations? My father consistently emphasized the principle that if one owes a debt to another, it is imperative to repay it. The most authentic method of repaying the obligations owed to one’s children is by adhering to the guidelines provided by God regarding the conduct expected of every father.

Staff Writer; Jamie Seals

May also connect with this brother on Twitter; mychocolatemind.

Also drop an email at; JSeals@ThyBlackMan.com.

“I was a young kid, struggling with the loss of my Nigerian heritage and my name, with my parents’ divorce and my father’s departure, and in its place, I found the belonging and acceptant that Kalfani’s friendship and basketball granted me.”

Will Jawando could have written a stat book to discuss the importance of positive Black men in the lived of Black boys as they grow and develop. Instead of writing a book that simply states facts we’ve heard repeatedly, the author took the time to allow us to see how the power of Black male mentorship showed up in his life. He walks us through seven father figures [including his biological father], and with elegance, compassion and honestly, he shows us their hands on his life as they mold him into the man he would become. This is a journey that will make you smile, cry, and acknowledge that we need…our sons need their fathers and the Black men of the community.

“Despite our living conditions, I remember this time as mostly happy. I say mostly because I still missed my father, and in the magical thinking mode that comes easily to anyone grieving, I believed we could be a family again. Dad’s absence threw the pall of “If only” over my young life.”

The reader will find this book very easy to follow. It is a strong yet compassionate read. Each chapter is focused on a father, and each chapter is different. It rings home the idea not only do our sons need Black men, but they need various Black men that can offer them different perspectives, and wisdom that will speak to their needs at different junctures in their life. What is needed at eight is different at sixteen, and what will be needed in adulthood is another conversation entirely though all of it is building locks over times. The author is masterful in giving the reader several narratives beautifully weaved into one powerful success story.

“The benefit of having more than one parent, and if you’re me – seven fathers – is that so much of how I see and experience the world is an expression of how my fathers’ influences have played off one another. There’s no doubting the African Proverb “It takes a village to raise a child.””

This is a book that needs to be read in book clubs, church meetings, by young boys, men that are struggling with the Black men in their life, and by mothers. Yes, mothers need to read this book as it gives insight into what our son’s need that we ourselves can not provide. It is important that we play a role in helping our sons get the Black male village they need. This book does not run from delivering the message of accountability and responsibility, and it doesn’t run from putting systemic racism at the forefront of issues that are faced by the Black community, specifically in this case Black men. Please read and share this book with as many Black boys as you can. They may find some of the guidance they need in Will Jawado’s story.

“My Seven Black Fathers” by Will Jawando can be found at your local bookstore, Amazon, and anywhere books are sold.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; C. Starr and also Twitter; MrzZeta.

Also via email at; CStarr@ThyBlackMan.com.

Former NFL linebacker DeMarcus Ware lived up to being a first-round pick in the 2005 NFL Draft by having a great career in which he had 138 and a half career quarterback sacks, earned nine Pro Bowl selections and four All-Pro selections, and won a Super Bowl as a member of the Denver Broncos. As he reflected on his life’s journey to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, Ware acknowledged his absent father during his speech and gave some thoughtful words to him and the audience with his father in attendance. Ware remarked, “This might sound crazy, but the NFL taught me how to forgive. First. I forgave myself. And then I forgave my dad. Dad… all the times I didn’t understand why you weren’t there. It doesn’t matter. You’re here now. I’ve learned that guilt rots in the person and forgiveness heals. How can I expect God to forgive me? If I don’t forgive you? You once said two simple words to me. I’m sorry. I’m not sure if I responded but I’m telling you now, on the biggest platform of my life, I forgive you.”

There are a lot of macro-level factors at work as to why some African/Black fathers are absent in raising their kids. At times, the children of those absent fathers have tremendous success in their respective careers like DeMarcus Ware thanks to the incredible work of single African/Black mothers and their “village” of family and loved ones that are instrumental in the raising of children. It says something about DeMarcus Ware to use his biggest professional moment of being inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame to have his absent father there and to publicly forgive him in front of a nationwide audience.

Former Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade became a true superstar during his NBA career. He is the most accomplished player in Miami Heat history and was a first-ballot lock for the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame even before he retired from playing in the NBA. During his Hall of Fame speech, Wade gave tribute to all the important people in his life from his teammates and coaches, to kids, to his wife, to his mother. It was Wade’s words about his father that really stood out as he asked his father to stand up at the end of his speech. “Even though I hated being called little Dwyane, I admired you as a kid,” Wade said. “I admire you now.

We have the same exact dream and we carry the same exact name, Dwyane Tyrone Wade. To know we hustled all the way to the Basketball Hall of Fame is God’s will. So Pops, I know your knee is a little sore. But will you join me on stage as we take our rightful step into basketball heaven?” After inviting his father on-stage, the younger Wade told his father that he loved him, hugged him and exclaimed, “We in the Hall of Fame, dawg!”. It was a beautiful moment and a reminder of how powerful a bond an African/Black son can have with his African/Black father.

Staff Writer; Mark Hines

The academic study of salvation is called soteriology.  It is defined as the collective analysis of the various procedures (or lack of such) that have been set forth by different faiths or religions, that they believe is the correct path to Yeshua the Messiah (Jesus Christ).

You, being the reader, might wonder what credentials I may have to qualify me as a proper authority concerning this matter.  I suggest that you first read “Devout Christians: The Whole Truth of Biblical Creation, Part 1 of 7”.  Of the various entities that try to explain biblical creation, that article (up till now) is the only one that starts with the origin of Satan, and the events occurring before the time period of Genesis 1:1.  Also, consider the information that is being provided in this article.

We should start off with “Why is salvation necessary?”.  Take note that I used the word “necessary” and not the word “required”.  Let me cite the following bible verses.

Matthew 7:13-15

¹³ Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:

¹⁴ Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

¹⁵ Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

Here, Yeshua (the Hebrew name of Jesus) is speaking of the gospel of salvation.  Anyone can accept salvation and be saved from sin.  But only a relative few will do what is necessary to obtain that (true) salvation.  Most people that think that they have salvation have actually been misled by misinformation, false teachers, or the spiritual laziness of the individual.  The purpose of having salvation is to become a saint of God (Yehovah), and avoid standing trial (being a defendant) at the White Throne Judgment (WTJ).  If you are a defendant at the WTJ, there is more than a 60% chance that you will be cast into the Lake of Fire, to be tormented forever with Satan.  That’s why you would want to be a judge, and not the defendant.

Take note that there is a difference between the Lake of Fire and the place known as Hell.  When a saint of God dies, they go to Paradise (Luke 23:43), to be resurrected at the second coming of Yeshua.  Everyone else who dies goes to Hell (Luke 16:23), whether they were a righteous person or not. They will be resurrected at the third coming of Yeshua, and will stand trial at the WTJ and be judged by one of the saints (1st Corinthians 6:2).  It is hoped that the righteous do not suffer as much (if at all) as the wicked in Hell.

So why was the necessity of salvation put upon us?  Well, when Yehovah first created this Earth and universe, mankind was to be immortal, and to first inhabit all the Earth before venturing out into outer space and inhabiting all the galaxies that had been created.  Our universe was the last (or most recent) creation God had made, and Lucifer (the former head angel in Heaven) was assigned as overseer.

Again, you need to go read “The Whole Truth of Biblical Creation”.

Mankind was not supposed to have any direct dealings with the Creator.  All our needs were to be addressed by Lucifer.  However, things turned sour when the expectations of Lucifer were not met, and he tried to gain “his independence” from Yehovah. Therefore seven periods of time were determined to take back ownership of Earth (refer to Daniel 9:24).

The first five advents of mankind on Earth have come and gone. We are now in the sixth period of time on Earth.  In Genesis chapter two, it is only the beginning history of modern man (7200 BC), and how Yehovah tricked Satan in to hanging himself.  The tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was not put in the garden to test man.  It was put there to create a loophole in God’s covenant(s) with Lucifer, in order to righteously take back ownership of Earth.

However, with Adam and Eve’s disobedience, came sin and death also, as stated in the following verse:

Romans 5:12

Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:

Adam was the “executor of the estate” of mankind.  When he sinned, the penalty of death was imputed on all of his offspring.  The nature of sin is passed from father to child by means of the male’s sperm.  That is why Yeshua had to be born of a virgin, but more about that later.  Meanwhile, mankind was separated from God and eternal life.  Yehovah developed a plan of salvation for modern mankind, since it was mainly the fault of Lucifer that mankind had to suffer the fate of death.

For whatever reason, it would take thousands of years to put the plan in place.  Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden in 4267 BC.  Adam died in 3037 BC. Enoch, the seventh generation from Adam, was taken to Heaven without dying in 3280 BC.  The flood of Noah was in 2611 BC.  The one land mass was divided into continents, and the Babel Tower stoppage was in 2509 BC.  A man named Abram was born in 2318 BC, and God called him “to be separate” in 2243 BC, when he left his family and ventured out to the land of Canaan.

Yehovah established His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob:

2 Kings 13:23

And the Lord was gracious unto them, and had compassion on them, and had respect unto them, because of his covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and would not destroy them, neither cast he them from his presence as yet.

After the Exodus of the children of Israel (House of Jacob) from Egypt in 1598 BC, the nation of Israel was to be the spokesmen of Yehovah, in order to reveal to the rest of the world the knowledge of God.  That is why the Jews are called “God’s special people”:

Deuteronomy 7:6

For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth.

End of Part 1.

Devout Christians: The Whole Truth of Biblical Salvation, Part 2 of 5.

Staff Writer; Herman Cummings

You may also purchase this writer book which is entitled; Moses Didn’t Write About Creation.

Note: Recently Herman published a new book which is entitled; The Sabbath That Assassinated Atheism Kindle Edition.

But what happens when that relationship produces children?

How do we learn to separate our hurt and possible ill feelings toward the other parent in a way that does not negatively affect our children?

This seems to be a very big issue in the black community. Statistics prove there is a large number of single parents who are no longer in relationships with the mother or father of their children. I am actually one of those parents and often wonder why many parents allow their personal issues with their co-parent (for whatever reason) dictate how they conduct themselves as parents. The only people that truly get hurt in these instances are the children.

The ultimate goal of a harmonious co-parenting situation is:

* the parents should truly love their children;

* become active participants in the children’s upbringing;

* put aside any personal difference;

* and agree to terms and solutions that are exclusively fair and reasonable that benefit the children’s happy and healthy development.

This should all be simple, right? In most cases this is not the norm. As adults, it’s funny how our unwillingness to collectively work together, lands us in the court systems. Dead beat moms or dead beat dads are the exclusion, and the judicial system may very well be necessary due to the fact that each parent should contribute to a child’s up-bring and well-being. But many parents use the legal system as a way to attack the other parent out of spite and hate. Which results in even more ill feelings, unnecessary cost due to lawyers and court fees, and in some cases jeopardizing a child’s ability to have healthy relationships with both parents. We must understand that the court system has never been concerned about keeping black families together. In fact they benefit greatly from the breakdown of our families.

Moving forward is a part of life and just like change it is a constant. We must understand that there is no substitution for the other involved parent. A new girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or wife may adore your child like their own, but the co-parent should understand that their significant other is not the biological parent and in turn he/she should be respectful of their place in issues concerning the child’s welfare. That “place” is to be supportive of their spouse and remain neutral in regards to circumstances where they only receive one side of the story.

Involved and active parents are normally territorial about their children and who they are around. Even more so when they are not in the household on a daily bases. Both parents are responsible for playing a positive role when it comes to the balance of their new relationships and their relationship with the children’s other parent.

To often in our community, we see the act of a bitter parent playing a step parent or romantic interest against a biological (co-parent) parent based on bruised egos, hurt feelings, and false representations of the other party. What many don’t understand is that children are very observant and see much more then we give them credit for being able to comprehend. Speaking negatively about the other parent to the child or anyone else, being disrespectful towards the other parent in front of the child, and even creating circumstances in which it is difficult for both parents to actively participate in their child’s life, are unacceptable under any circumstance.

The moral imperative of remembrance and resistance, then, requires first of all that we remember rightfully, otherwise our remembering is reduced to unreflective ritual devoid of substance and fashionable references borrowed from corporate media’s common place diversionary questions of personal feelings, questionable change, self-indictment and inevitable false and perfunctory praise of America the beautiful, blameless and unblemished. Likewise, it can be reduced to ritualistic social media posts seeking likes and classifications of trending rather than paying homage in more active and meaningful ways. Thus, we must remember in ways that do honor to the dead and living and reaffirm our obligation to continue the struggle, keep the faith and hold the line until victory is achieved and secured.

A rightful remembrance means we do not remember in isolation or as a passing notice of media interests. Rather, this particular expression, and all others, of police violence must be seen, embraced and engaged as a part of our history of oppression and resistance, linking our rightful remembrance of Nana George Floyd to that of rightful remembrance of Nanas Breonna Taylor, Sandra Bland, Tamir Rice, Elijah McClain, and more recently Nana Jordan Neely, and all the others not named here from the past and those yet to be named from an unfolding future. Again, this is one of the reasons remembrance is unavoidably and inseparably linked to resistance, for the list will inevitably be longer if we do not continue and intensify the struggle.

To remember rightfully is also to remember respectfully, that is to remember with an appropriate awareness and appreciation of the worthiness of the persons and the issues under consideration. It is also to be thoughtful in our remembering, that is to say, both reflective and caring, to think and care deeply about the persons and issues that demand rightful attentiveness. Moreover, to remember rightfully is to remember in self-determined ways, neither letting our oppressor be our teacher nor even our allies be our tutor. Here it is good to remember Nana Frantz Fanon’s teaching that to think and act in new liberated ways we must leave Europe “where they are never done talking of (abstract) man, yet murder (real) men and (women) everywhere they find them, at the corner of every one of their own streets and in all the corners of the globe”.

Nana George Floyd and Nana Breonna Taylor are the major Black male and female faces of victims of police violence, but the list is long and constantly lengthens even as we rightly continue to resist and struggle to end the violence and radically transform the system that produces, sanctions and supports it. Indeed, in a real and constantly threatening way, all of us, Black male and female, adult and child, are potential victims of this radically evil practice of police violence which is symptomatic of a racist system that continuously seeks to deny our full humanity and human rights.

Nana Fannie Lou Hamer’s timeless and ever-relevant teaching that we are to care deeply about those who made us possible, carried us over troubled and treacherous waters, and gave us solid and sacred ground to stand, build and do righteous battle on is applicable to Nana George Floyd and Nana Breonna Taylor and all the martyrs and victims of police violence as well as of the general and pervasive systemic violence of society. For their brutal, premature and undeserved deaths are sacrifices, even unintended, that must be honored by our making sure their deaths have heavy historical weight, not only in our memory, but also in deepening our commitment to the struggle to end the conditions and system that so savagely destroyed their lives and those of others.

They and all like them did not choose to die the undeserved and horrific deaths the murderers imposed on them. They were on their way home, sometimes only a few blocks away; in their cars hanging out or just driving to some place of life and living or in their homes rightfully expecting a security they were savagely denied. They were children playing in a park or joyriding with no thought of or reason for not returning home, or living out their full lives and looking toward tomorrow. But the ice man cometh, and the ice man kills without human concern or moral conscience, cultivating the ordinariness of evil and the negation of our lives and rights as normal. And we have no morally compelling choice, as Nana Henry Highland Garnet urged us, except to let our motto and movement be “Resist! Resist! Resist!”

The summer soldiers that mobilized and amassed in such great numbers under the initiative of BLM have come and gone. And the brief summer has turned into a long winter of struggle, sacrifice and self-giving service to our people and only the serious and sincere remain. Thus, we, for whom the struggle for justice and liberation on a larger scale is a matter of life and death, cannot leave the battlefield except in our gravely mistaken minds. For the society brings the battlefield and their war against us to the streets, schools, supermarkets, churches, mosques, temples, and even our homes. This is the meaning of Nana Haji Malcolm’s teaching that “you and I are living in a country that is a battleline for all of us”.

And thus, we must be all-seasons soldiers, for until this wanton killing of Black people is decisively stopped, Nana Ella Baker teaches us “We who believe in freedom cannot rest”. Thus, our struggle was and remains not only to secure justice for Nana George Floyd and our people as a whole, but also to secure our liberation. For again, as Haji Malcolm teaches, without freedom we cannot achieve real justice. Indeed, freedom from an oppressive system is our larger and ongoing aim and struggle, regardless of the particular battlefield, we are compelled to fight on in our awesome march and movement towards full and final liberation. And this realization and reaffirmation in righteous and relentless struggle is at the heart of the moral imperative of remembrance and resistance deeply rooted in the lives, history and culture of our people.

Written by Dr. Maulana Karenga

Official website; https://www.maulanakarenga.org/