Nana Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s mother and father, of the same spiritual faith and a similar generation as my mother and father, taught him the dignity and worth of work in its service to humanity, as my mother and father taught us, drawing from a long and honorable tradition of work. In his classic speech on this topic in Memphis, supporting the strike and demands for decent wages and working conditions of the sanitation workers, Dr. King reaffirms this position, saying to the striking workers and their supporters, that they are rightfully “demanding that this city will respect the dignity of labor”. And he noted that “So often we overlook the work and the significance of those who are not in professional jobs, of those who are not in the so-called big jobs. But…whenever you are engaged in work that serves humanity and is for the building of humanity, it has dignity, and it has worth”. Thus, in the best of our ethical sensibilities, thought and practice, all workers deserve respect, just pay, appropriate conditions of work, and the right to organize and assert their interests.

We stood and stand in active solidarity with the millions in this country and around the world who participated in marking May Day (International Workers’ Day) in demonstrations, deliberations and resolute commitment to continue the struggle against war, ICE, genocide, injustice, fascism and all forms of oppression. For at the heart of all these labor and other struggles must be, and is for us, the collective and collaborative commitment to achieving a shared and inclusive good for everyone, everywhere and the sustained well-being of the world and all in it.

What I want to do here, then, in uplifting and linking Mother’s Day and May Day is to center the legacy of labor struggles in our history, especially those led by Black women that form a core of  our larger struggle for freedom, justice and a shared and inclusive good and those that are caringly attentive to the overlooked, undervalued and vulnerable, as my mother and father taught. Let us first pay rightful homage to our ancient ancestors, the original world builders, working their will on the world to extract and share good from the earth – the early gatherers, farmers and fishermen and fisherwomen, herbalists and healthcare workers, the builders of houses and temples and all other workers who worked to bring a shared good in the world. We pay homage also to the workers who launched the first strike in recorded history at a worksite in ancient Egypt called Set Ma’at, the Place of Justice c. 1170 BCE. Indeed, artisans and ordinary workers stopped work, sat in, marched, petitioned and disrupted the regular order of things. They told the officials that they were not only striking because of the late wages and the hunger that this caused for them and their families, but also because “There is injustice in this place”. Their concern was beyond the essential need for wages and centered the issue of the dignity of the worker and the respect and just compensation due to them.

We pay rightful homage also to the women and men free of mind and heart who did not accept their status in enslavement and resisted being objects of labor, sex and entertainment by striking, breaking tools, destroying crops, escaping and returning to free others, and exercising the right and responsibility to revolt and be free. And we pay homage to the Black washerwomen or launderers who built a labor union, the Washing Society, and organized a strike in Atlanta, Georgia in 1881 to win higher and uniform wages; and to Nana Nannie Helen Burroughs, an educator and organizer, who founded the National Association of Wage Earners in 1921; and to Nana Rosina Corrothers Tucker, labor organizer, civil rights activist, and educator who worked as a union organizer for the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters and served as the first president of its International Ladies Auxiliary, 1938. Also, we pay homage to Nana Dorothy Bolden, founder of the National Domestic Workers Union of America in 1968; to Nana Clara Day who co-founded the Coalition of Labor Union Women in 1974; and to all other labor and life waymakers and bridges who carried us over and led us forward.

Finally, we pay homage to the labor leader and activist Nana Fahari Jeffers who with her husband, Ken Seaton-Msemaji, co-founded the United Domestic Workers of America in 1977. They were grounded in Kawaida philosophy and its organizing thought and practice and linked their work to the United Farm Workers movement given that both were primarily composed of women, people of color and immigrants and not rightly valued by the larger labor movement. Indeed, Nana Fahari said in being inducted into the San Diego County Women’s Hall of Fame, “It’s an honor as a woman and it’s an honor as an African-American woman. There are many women who make groundbreaking, enormous contributions to our community that we will never meet or hear of, and I want them to know that their work is valued and recognized and that it has made a difference”.

Here she reaffirms the dignity, centrality and sustaining character of Black women’s labor and our need to recognize and respect them, their work and their role in bringing good into the world. And I thought here of how my mother was both a domestic worker and a farmworker, and I remembered and rejoiced in the many other roles and responsibilities she joyfully assumed for our family and our community. And I reflected again about our moral obligation to seriously and joyfully honor and live the legacy of our foremothers and forefathers by continuing the sacred work and struggle for freedom, justice and a shared and inclusive good for all of us and for all the earth.

Written by Dr. Maulana Karenga

Official website; https://www.maulanakarenga.org/

Young brothers, let an older Black man tell you something from experience.

Do not let temporary pain convince you to walk away from permanent responsibility.

I know life can wear a man down. I know what it feels like to stare at the ceiling late at night while everybody else is asleep, trying to figure out how you are going to keep carrying everything on your shoulders. A lot of us grew up watching men suffer quietly. Nobody asked them how they were doing mentally. Nobody checked on their spirit. They just kept working, kept stressing, kept aging right in front of everybody.

That kind of pressure leaves marks on a man.

Some of you younger fathers are carrying things your friends do not even know about. Trying to provide while feeling emotionally exhausted. Trying to stay calm while your mind feels crowded. Trying to be strong while secretly feeling like you are drowning. That does not make you weak. That makes you human.

There is a difference.

I think one of the biggest lies Black men were taught is that suffering in silence somehow makes you stronger. All it really does is make you feel alone. Then once a man feels alone long enough, he starts disconnecting from the people who need him most.

I have seen it happen too many times.

A father starts pulling away little by little. He stops talking as much. Stops laughing as much. Stops being mentally present. Physically he is still around, but his mind is somewhere dark and heavy.

That is why I wanted to speak directly to the brothers carrying that kind of weight.

Your children need your presence more than your perfection.

Read that again if you need to.

A lot of young fathers think being valuable means having all the money, all the answers, all the control. But children remember something deeper than that. They remember who was there. They remember who listened. They remember who stayed around even when life got hard.

Years from now your child may not remember every gift you bought, but they will remember your voice. They will remember car rides, conversations, jokes, lessons, and those random moments that seemed small at the time.

That stuff matters.

I learned that as I got older.

When my children were younger, I thought being a good father mostly meant making sure material things were handled. Keep food in the house. Keep bills paid. Keep clothes on their backs. That is important, do not get me wrong. But now that I got some age on me, I realize emotional presence carries just as much weight.

Sometimes more.

Kids can feel when a father is emotionally checked out.

They notice when you stop engaging.

They notice when your patience disappears.

They notice when stress changes your tone.

Even when they cannot explain it with words, they feel it.

That is why you cannot keep ignoring your mental state and expect everything around you to stay healthy.

One thing I had to learn myself was how to slow down before reacting. I did not always get that right. Coming up, most of us were raised around yelling, tension, frustration, and people carrying anger they never dealt with. If you are not careful, you end up repeating those same patterns without even realizing it.

I caught myself doing that before.

Not because I wanted to hurt anybody, but because certain habits become automatic when you grow up around them long enough.

That realization humbled me.

It forced me to start paying attention to how I spoke, how I handled stress, and how I responded when life frustrated me. A child learns emotional behavior by watching adults. That means your son is learning manhood from watching you. Your daughter is learning how men handle pressure from watching you.

That responsibility is serious.

But do not let that thought scare you. Let it wake you up.

A lot of fathers are trying to build healthy homes while carrying wounds they never healed from themselves. Some brothers never had real guidance growing up. Some barely knew their own fathers. Others grew up watching addiction, violence, emotional distance, or nonstop struggle. Then society expects those same men to magically become emotionally balanced overnight once they have children.

Life does not work that way.

Healing takes time.

Growth takes honesty.

And becoming better requires effort every single day.

I know some brothers feel embarrassed because life did not turn out how they imagined. Maybe the relationship with the mother failed. Maybe finances are rough. Maybe mistakes from years ago still follow you mentally. Some fathers carry guilt so deep it changes how they see themselves.

Do not let shame turn you into a stranger around your own children.

That is a dangerous road.

Kids do not need a flawless father standing in front of them pretending to have everything figured out. They need somebody real. Somebody who keeps trying. Somebody willing to grow instead of disappear when life gets uncomfortable.

There were times I had to apologize to my children. That was not something older men talked about much when I was younger. Back then fathers were expected to always appear right even when they were wrong. But I learned something important over time.

Children respect honesty more than ego.

Saying I handled that wrong does not make you less of a man.

It makes you accountable.

And accountability is something young people desperately need to see nowadays.

Another thing I want younger fathers to understand is this. Stop trying to carry everything alone. Too many Black men isolate themselves when life gets heavy. They stop talking. Stop reaching out. Stop connecting with people who care about them.

That silence can become dangerous after a while.

You do not need a crowd around you, but every man needs somebody he can talk honestly with. Could be an older relative. Could be a close friend. Could be another father dealing with similar pressure. Just having one solid conversation can lighten your mental load more than you realize.

Sometimes another man reminding you that you are not alone can help pull you out of dark thinking.

I wish more brothers understood that earlier.

I also had to learn how important rest is. Not laziness. Real rest. Mental rest. Emotional rest. Some fathers are running on fumes every day and wondering why they feel disconnected from everything around them.

You cannot keep pouring from an empty cup forever.

Take care of your health too.

Go for walks.

Get outside sometimes.

Pray if that brings you peace.

Turn the noise down when your mind feels overloaded.

There is nothing weak about protecting your mental stability.

Matter of fact, your children benefit when you are healthy enough emotionally to truly be present around them.

And let me say this too.

Do not underestimate how much your child watches you fight through difficult seasons. One day they may look back and realize their father was carrying way more than they understood at the time. They may realize you kept showing up even while struggling internally.

That example stays with children.

Strength is not pretending nothing hurts.

Real strength is continuing to show love and effort while dealing with life honestly.

I know some days fathers feel unappreciated. Society talks about Black fathers like they barely exist unless something negative happens. Meanwhile millions of brothers are waking up every morning trying to hold their families together quietly without recognition.

I see you.

A lot of older men see you too.

Do not let negative stereotypes make you forget your value.

Your child seeing you stay involved matters more than public opinion ever will.

There is power in a father being present consistently.

Power in a father listening.

Power in a father teaching.

Power in a father simply staying.

That presence shapes lives in ways you may never fully understand while your children are young.

One conversation can stay with a child forever.

One moment of encouragement can change their confidence.

One father staying around can completely alter the direction of a family.

That is real.

So to every Black father sitting somewhere feeling mentally exhausted, emotionally drained, or questioning his worth, hear this clearly from an older brother who understands life a little more now.

Do not give up on yourself.

Do not walk away from your children emotionally.

Do not let hard seasons convince you your life has no meaning.

Keep going.

Even if all you can do some days is take things one hour at a time.

Keep showing up.

Your children do not need perfection standing in front of them.

They need love.

They need effort.

They need presence.

And whether you realize it right now or not, that matters more than you think.

Staff Writer; Lee Walker

This brother is a fitness trainer with 12 years of experience, focused on building strength, clarity, and real health within the Black community. Through his writing, Mr. Walker hopes to uplift younger Black men and men in general through honest conversations about fitness, financial pressure, fatherhood, discipline, mental wellness, and the importance of brotherhood.

Have questions? Reach me at LeeW@ThyBlackMan.com.

Unfortunately, these murders aren’t happening in a vacuum. Stories of angry, despondent men violently killing their wives, girlfriends, and children are occurring in our community at an alarming rate. And far too often, we’re left asking why.

In the mass shooting in Shreveport, the nation’s deadliest since 2024, the family of the shooter, Shamar Elkins, stated he was struggling with his mental health in the midst of a divorce before killing his family. Former Lt. Governor of Virginia Justin Fairfax was also said to have been experiencing isolation and depressive episodes before killing his wife and himself days after being requested to appear at a divorce hearing. And after murdering his wife, Nancy, Stephen Bowen told his uncle that he “couldn’t take it anymore.”

The disturbing pattern in each of these cases is a group of men not just struggling with mental health, but a general lack of value for the lives of their loved ones. Taken together, these cases reveal something larger than individual tragedy; they reveal a crisis hiding in plain sight.

Researchers have documented the rise of a male loneliness epidemic that was sweeping the country, and its effects on emotional stability, ability to connect with others, and even how men perceive reality. Researchers also found that in the absence of meaningful relationships, men who spent more time online often found themselves targeted by algorithms that promote toxic podcasters and influencers who spout negative tropes and stereotypes about women. This world, called the “red pill,” encourages men to dehumanize and assert power over women socially, at home, and in the workplace.

While there’s no direct correlation between these tragedies and toxic internet culture, the risks of isolation and the inability or refusal to engage with mental health supports are evident. But for many men of color, accessing mental healthcare isn’t easy.

There are financial barriers that keep Black men out of care. Stigmas associated with therapy, like being labeled “crazy” or “weak,” encourage men to compartmentalize and use self-soothing tactics like drinking or substances that raise the risk of violent outbursts. And with only 4 percent of mental health professionals being Black, finding professionals that men can connect with is also a challenge.

The combination of feeling like finding help is impossible, compartmentalizing that leads to isolation, and predatory algorithms that spew hatred towards women has created a perfect storm for violence and self-harm. According to the National Library of Medicine, suicide has become the third leading cause of death among Black people, and for younger men, most vulnerable to alienating internet culture, rates of mental health decline are rising.

Tackling this crisis that is tearing our families and community apart will take acknowledging the structural issues that are breaking down the mental health of Black men while holding men accountable for their actions.

Making mental health the center of these stories risks minimizing the decisions that these men made to take the lives of their loved ones. And imposing accountability without investing in preventative measures to ensure that these acts of violence don’t happen again is also short-sighted.

This means calling it what it is: a structural decline in the value of human lives. And these cases, in our community, are examples of the devaluing of Black lives.

If you or a loved one needs support with anxiety, depression, or thoughts of self-harm or harm against others, call or text 988 for help today.

Written by Marc Morial

Official website; http://twitter.com/MARCMORIAL

But it’s the other malady that in Elkins case also deserves a hard look. That’s the mental health crisis in America. Reports are that Elkins sought help. He spent ten days at a Veterans Affairs hospital for psychiatric evaluation. However, he was discharged. And this is where the horror for him and millions of Americans begins.

There are tens of millions of Americans that fall into the serious mental health challenge category. The numbers tell the tale of the magnitude of the mental health crisis in America. A 2024 poll by the National Alliance on Mental Illness found that nearly sixty million Americans reported a mental health affliction. That was one in five adult Americans.

However, that tells only a small part of the tragedy. Blacks, Native Americans, and LGBTQ persons suffered vastly disproportionate incidents of mental illness. Overall, one in five Black adults, and Native Americans reported one or more mental illness disorders in 2024. They ranged from chronic depression to Reiner’s reported affliction– schizophrenia.

That’s one part of the sordid story of the mental health peril. The other is who receives treatment and who has access to treatment. That inevitably points the finger at racial bias in relation to cost and accessibility. A Department of Health and Human Services survey in 2024 found that only one in three Blacks and Hispanics received treatment. Similar treatment disparities were found for Asian American and Pacific Islanders. Meanwhile, nearly one out of two whites received treatment.

The multiple reasons for the wide gap in treatment have been oft cited. One is the absence of access to treatment centers in minority and lower income neighborhoods. Poverty, lack of health insurance, underinsurance, or part of the economic barrier to treatment for many.

Another is the prevalent stigma of seeking treatment for a mental health issue. For many this is still viewed as a sign of weakness or personal failure. Thankfully, that fear and notion is breaking down as the crisis within minorities communities deepens. Elkins again is an example. At least he had enough presence of mind to seek help.

Still, a 2023 Rand Corporation study found a widespread pattern of deliberate closing of the mental health treatment center door to aid even when Blacks and Hispanics seek help. The impediments included shorter hours, lack of available services, untrained staff, little time, or effort spent on outreach programs and information on services, and lack of Spanish speaking aid workers.

A major university research study in 2000 on the impact of racial bias on mental health diagnosis and treatment, Racism and Mental Health: the African American Experience, noted, “The stigma of racial inferiority may also adversely affect the treatment of black patients in the mental health system. Black clinicians have long argued that popular misconceptions, inaccuracies, and stereotypes of the psychology of African Americans could lead to the misdiagnosis of Black patients.”

The study went further and observed that African Americans are more likely to be misdiagnosed. It specifically cited schizophrenia. Blacks were more likely to be diagnosed with the malady of paranoid schizophrenia. And at the same underdiagnosed with other affective disorders. The researchers chalked this up to “conscious or unconscious acceptance of negative stereotypes of Blacks.” The inaccurate diagnosis clinicians seemingly routinely made over time of many Blacks with a mental health affliction had grave consequences in terms of tailoring the correct and most effective treatment to the patient.

The KFF Policy Research Foundation further underscored the crisis in mental health treatment disparities in a comprehensive report in 2024 Racial and Ethnic Disparities in Mental Health Care: Findings from the KFF Survey of Racism, Discrimination and Health. It checked off the number of areas where the mental health care system failed Blacks, and people of color and the poor.

That includes the absence of treatment facilities in lower income, underserved neighborhoods, the types of treatment and care offered in the paltry number of centers in these neighborhoods. In almost every instance, the report noted widespread differences in how whites reported the level of and accessibility to the treatment they received versus the dismal to non-existent treatment Blacks received.

Whether Elkins would and definitely should have gotten prolonged treatment would have saved the lives of eight babies, we’ll never know. What we do know though is that Elkins is a monster, and a callous system did its part to help create that monster.

Written By Earl Ofari Hutchinson

One can find more info about Mr. Hutchinson over at the following site; TheHutchinson Report.

Also feel free to connect with him through twitter; http://twitter.com/earlhutchins

He is also an associate editor of New America Media. His forthcoming book is From King to Obama: Witness to a Turbulent History (Middle Passage Press).

Surely, then, it is about something deeper, more ancient and indispensable, something our ancient sacred texts tell us is inherent in the conception, creation and functioning of the world – the complementary and species-compelling need for male and female love, presence and cooperative practice in the world. For the Husia and Odu Ifa speak to the need we have not only for each other in spiritual, natural and social ways, but also the need of our togetherness to create and sustain the good in family, society and the world. And it is within this ancient and ongoing African understanding that we must conceive, build, sustain and make flourish our relationships and teach our children likewise by the most careful instruction and self-conscious example.

There are so many things that block the road toward realization of the togetherness in love we long and live for. There is racism that degrades and devalues, sexism that teaches submission and domination, and materialism that makes things and money the measure and meaning of everything. There is also unemployment and vulgar individualism, Eurocentric drama, drugs and unrealizable dreams, the prison system and broken promises, the media and the mean and merciless streets, and a long history of Holocaust, horror and other forms of oppression at the hands of our oppressor. So, the wonder is not that we have problems, but that so many of us have survived and solved them and went on to build rock-strong, stable and loving relations worthy of the highest praise and promise. Indeed, the point is not that we have problems – for that’s only human; the issue is how we solve them in the most gentle, loving and effective ways.

Love is the heartbeat and hope of any real, reciprocal and enduring relationship, and we must understand it not simply as an emotion, but also as a practice. For at its best, love is ultimate appreciation, attentiveness and consideration that expresses itself in the mutual investment in each other’s happiness, well-being and development. It is ultimately a reciprocal, deeply rewarding and awesome giving of ourselves and receiving the same from another as a sacred exchange.

Here it is important to make a distinction between pleasure and happiness. For pleasure is satisfaction of the senses, but happiness is satisfaction of the heart and mind. Pleasure is a time and space limited satisfaction of desires by external events and experiences, but happiness is an enduring inner satisfaction. And love, as mutual giving, engenders such an enduring inner satisfaction, enhances our sense of well-being and enriches our development as persons and human beings.

At the heart of the practice of love is active commitment to an Afrocentric value system which teaches and reinforces our essential identity as bearers of divinity and dignity, and requires us to approach and treat each other and our relationships as sacred and worthy of the highest respect, care and consideration. Since the Sixties, I’ve taught that the Nguzo Saba is that African-centered value system and that we can use it to build our relationships and community and enrich our lives.

The first principle is Umoja (Unity) which stresses the good and need of togetherness in the most principled and purposeful ways. It teaches us to remove all thoughts, emotions, speech and conduct which undermine our togetherness and pull us apart. At one with each other, we will see ourselves in each other and sense our divinity, reaffirm our dignity and develop an identity meriting a high respect and place among men and women.

Kujichagulia (Self-determination) teaches the right and responsibility to choose, to choose who we will be and it requires that each of us be allowed and encouraged to be who we are in the most positive and progressive sense without crass criticism, hindrance or negative questioning, but always within the framework of the requirements of togetherness and common ground. And it teaches us that the ground of our choosing must always be from within the context of our own culture and its highest values. Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility) teaches us active working, building and struggling together to clear space for our love to grow, to transform ourselves so that we feel and fit right and rightfully together and to take collective responsibility for the good and bad, right and wrong, the beautiful and ugly that strengthen or undermine our relationships.

Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) teaches us the principle and practice of shared work and shared wealth, that we not make money the measure and central meaning of all things and to reject debilitating disputes and disagreements about it. And it requires us to avoid materialism and consumerism of the dominant society, value each other more and those qualities that reflect strength of character and depth of commitment.

The principle of Nia (Purpose) teaches us that we must live purposeful lives, share goals, aid each other in realizing our different yet interrelated goals and work toward things that strengthen each of us. At the heart of this practice must be the goal of building a friendship defined by our thinking good of each other, wanting and working for the good of each other, doing good to and for each other, and sharing good with each other as a fundamental principle and practice of love and life.

Kuumba (Creativity) urges us to pursue the positive, avoid the negative, to constantly reaffirm the dignity and worth of each other, and our need for each other and to avoid all conversation and acts that degrade and violate the sacredness of each person and the relationship itself. And it means that we, as the ancestors taught in the Husia, must strive always to quickly and eagerly to raise up what is in ruins, repair what is damaged, rejoin what is severed, replenish what is depleted, set right what is wrong, strengthen what is weakened, and make flourish what is insecure and undeveloped in our relationships.

Finally, Imani (Faith) urges us to trust and believe in the good, and in our capacity to create it and share it. It encourages us to produce a new paradigm and practice of Black love and live it as a conscious need and undeniable necessity of life. And this means bringing into being a new man and woman who truly live for and through each other and pass on this lesson and legacy to future generations.

Written by Dr. Maulana Karenga

Official website; https://www.maulanakarenga.org/

When one parent has to move due to changes in their circumstances, there are ramifications that need to be considered for child custody rights. This relocation impacts child custody agreements, disrupting the visitation schedule and the relationship that the child shares with the other parent.

Let’s talk about what a parent might want to take into account before relocating.

How Relocation Can Change Your Child Custody Agreement

When one parent proposes relocation, conflicts surrounding child custody and parenting time change would inevitably occur. These conflicts have a tendency to rise quickly, particularly when the other parent strongly opposes the idea of relocation. According to Orange County child custody lawyer Christopher Engels, high-conflict custody disputes over complex issues, like one parent seeking sole custody or one parent seeking a move, usually increase the fees.

If you move to a place that’s far away from everything, your child will have a lot of different and even hard-to-manage needs. Communicating the details of your big life plans with the co-parent and seeking judicial permission before the relocation may become necessary. 

The court of law typically embodies the best interest of the child and steadfastness as well as other considerable factors in its judgment. Record all discussions and agreements about the move so the parent can talk to the other parent about the new terms needed.

Understanding the Best Interests of the Child Standard

Understanding the “best interests of the child” standard will better guide the courts toward making evidence-based decisions as to which environment will promote the child’s well-being.

Several factors must be appraised by the court, some of which are the client child’s emotional, educational, and physical requirements. Parents need to be able to recognize the importance of having a stable relationship with their children to facilitate good negotiation for both.

When preparing your case, it should reflect the child’s best interests. Always consider the child’s thoughts and feelings. Listen to their desire for experienced care, and their commitment to fostering a bond with the other parent.

Key Legal Factors for Modifying Custody Due to Relocation

Relocating can alter existing custody and visitation rights, making it necessary to be familiar with the legal criteria for changing child custody when a move occurs.

When a custody change occurs due to relocation, the primary aspect the court will evaluate is the justification the moving party has for the change. Finding a new job may justify the move, but moving the child further from the other parent is suspicious and may raise concern.

Think of the potential effects of the move on the child’s existing relationship with the other parent. The court will give precedence to preserving communication and visitation rights wherever possible. The overall impact of relocation on a child will be accounted for as the judge makes custody decisions.

The child’s life in his or her environment should be the primary focus. This includes their schools and other community centers they are involved in.

Steps to Take Before Planning Your Move

Before considering a move, rake in all necessary data and an appraisal of the situation.

Review your current parenting plan thoroughly to identify any terms that the potential relocation may affect. Consider researching the area where you would move, concentrating chiefly on educational facilities, community resources, and job prospects available in the area.

Always consider the welfare of the children. Account for the child’s existing relations with others and with the other parent. You can discuss your plans with your friends and family.

Prepare to present your reasons for relocation. These justifications could influence mediation or court proceedings.

Communicating Your Relocation Plans With Your Co-Parent

How can you successfully discuss your intentions to move with your co-parent? Proceed with your informal talk without any interruptions.

If you are clear and precise about what you intend and are giving proper reasons behind your actions, many will hear and understand. A place that offers great job prospects, reputable schools, and well-built support services should be taken into account when moving.

Each person in the conversation is encouraged to talk whilst indirectly acknowledging their feelings. Both parties should listen attentively.

Your discussion should revolve around the child’s best interests.

Closing the conversation should involve documenting the discussion and recommendations in writing to give clarity for everyone involved.

Dealing With Opposition to Your Relocation Plans?

Dealing with opposition to your plans involves introspective reasoning. Offer empathy to the other parent and look at the situation differently. This approach can help reduce anxiety for the other parent.

Respect their feelings, yet make your stand about why change is needed. Explain how changes would actually benefit their child, especially in terms of obtaining much-needed stability and proper opportunities.

As an option, you can suggest a compromise involving extended stays and enhanced digital communication with the non-custodial parent. This can present a better comprehension of the role of a non-custodial parent in the child’s development. 

Document all discussions and agreements for future reference. You can present these in case of disputes. And if this fails, consider some form of mediation for a smoother discussion to resolve the issue.

Modifying Custody Agreements After Moving

Parents sharing custody with an ex have a lot to consider when moving to another state. One of those is modifying terms of their child’s custody agreement.

Among the reasons that typically trigger changes to the parenting pact are changes in living environments or too much physical distance from the co-parent.

Engage in an open discussion with the other parent and look at how the custody agreement can ensure the best interests of the child. Dispute resolutions that can be achieved through mediation or courts may well necessitate initiating the proceedings. Provide evidence to the other party about how the new arrangement will support the child’s stability.

Staff Writer; Doug P. Ford

They also knew my grandmother and great grandmother, the librarians at our neighborhood library would talk about my mother and grandmother being heavy readers and regularly volunteering. You may have had a similar neighborhood or at least had old neighbors who looked out for the local kids when they were outside playing or there were strangers around.

However, they could also be nosy as hell and could tell you other people’s business. One thing was for certain: they were one of those constants. You probably passed their house every day to and from school, work, or the corner store.

Then You Grow Up

Now you’re a whole adult, a few decades into this life thing. You encounter new faces, spend time in new neighborhoods—hell, you’re traveling, even. Changes occur. Those old heads pass away and the issue of their house—none of our business, by the way—can go either way. Some houses that were inhabited your whole childhood might end up abandoned and fall in disarray. Maybe their kids come to take over the house.

What I’ve noticed over the 30 years I’ve lived in this neighborhood is that the houses often end up abandoned or new faces move in. Those families who were a fixture of your street don’t have a presence there anymore.

It’s not unusual for the younger generations to move away from home and build their own home. That presents its own problems down the line if an heir seeks to take over the house—unless they’re able to juggle multiple houses.

Never mind that older Black folks will hold a house the family owns even if the neighborhood becomes blighted. I’ve always felt that nowadays, it’s too dangerous for seniors to live alone in high crime, high drug trafficking areas. But I get why they don’t leave: too much was invested in the house over several decades: time, money, memories—there’s familiarity. If anything doesn’t work in a house, they know the workarounds until a repair can be made—if ever.

Black Men Hold On to Your Family Home

Now, I don’t mind seeing new faces on the block but I have a good long-term memory and I remember who used to stay in what houses on my street. I’d seen them every day for decades, went to school with some of their kids—now adults with kids, and chatted with them about the same thing in discussing here.

“You know so-so passed. What a sweet woman. Her kids ain’t sh**, they let the house go,” was a common sentiment from several neighbors over the years.

Kids don’t always come back. That’s especially true if they’re in a safer neighbor or have a place close to work or school. Hey, the house could be close to a hovel, even. It would actually be regressing for them. While discussing this with man of similar age who also grew up in this neighborhood, he came to the conclusion that Black men just don’t want to take care of an old house in the old neighborhood.

I felt it was specific and definitely off base. It was just a blanket “Black men can’t be bothered.” It’s more generational—in multiple ways. Older relatives squabbling over a house, a generation didn’t take care of the house and now it’s not worth having, the neighborhood probably went to sh**, or those younger folks in the family are settled elsewhere.

My brother and I handle the family house which has been in the family for 55 years. It’s seen four generations of my family from my great grandparents who purchased it to my niece and nephews. Too much has been invested in the house by three generations of adults making sure it’s the family house, Mama’s house.

Again, I understand that different generations might not want to stay in the place they grew up. My neighborhood’s changed a lot over 30 years and it’s a very mixed bag of change, folks.

So, Black men—and we shouldn’t be the only ones tasked with it, but another Black man’s take prompted this thought—if you’re one of those who lives in the family house: hold on to it. Keep it fixed up and instill the importance of Black people owning their own houses. If you own a house that wasn’t in the family originally: make that a new family house.

That doesn’t solely mean “Go have some kids, fam”. At most it’s a house you own that the family frequents. That creates an attachment, it’s a constant. At the minimum, you own a house and annual property tax beats monthly rent any time of the decade.

Staff Writer; James Swift, Jr.

Gaming since 1989 and headbanging since 1999, James enjoys comics, RPGs, wrestling, and all things old school and retro. Check out his writing here AfroGamers and The Black Rock and Heavy Metal. You can also find him on Twitter at; metalswift and soon on Kick where he will stream mobile titles.

One can also contact this brother at; JSwift@ThyBlackMan.com.

Domestic partners can get legal recognition to protect themselves even outside marriage. San Diego domestic partnership lawyer Sara Neumann says there are many reasons for unmarried partners to create a legal relationship. An official domestic partnership provides security and legal rights to each partner, similar to that of married couples.

Laws about domestic partnership vary by state, but they give an outline of your rights and responsibilities when it comes to properties, health care decisions, inheritance, and more.

Let’s look at how domestic partnership law can protect your rights and still reinforce your commitment to your partner.

Understanding Domestic Partnerships: What They Are and How They Work

Different forms of affection are placed under the bracket of marriage that is commonly known. Unlike marriage, a domestic partnership has distinct characteristics. It enjoys a core set of benefits and responsibilities similar to those conferred by marriage.

However, it lacks the normal nuptial ceremony. Its core is for couples who wish to formalize their relationship but wish to keep it out of matrimony.

To formalize a partnership, one has to fulfill certain criteria that can vary from one state or country to another. One requirement is to live together for a certain length of time. This includes sharing economic responsibilities.

Legal domestic partnership gives you the right to health insurance coverage, inheritance rights, and decision-making privileges regarding your partner’s medical treatment. As the law differs in different states, you need to know what the law says about domestic partnerships in your area.

Key Differences Between Domestic Partnerships and Marriage

Both domestic partnerships and marriage involve the legal recognition of a couple; however, they differ in terms of rights, responsibilities, and societal perception. The rights that are generally afforded to a person upon entering into marriage are.

Depending on the state, domestic partnerships may not provide the same protection or rights as marriage. When it comes to standing and general acceptance, marriage comes with better societal standing, while domestic partnerships are not always considered equally legitimate in some communities.

There are also differences to consider regarding disintegrating processes, with the marriage usually requiring more formality. Consulting a family lawyer can help individuals understand these distinctions and make informed decisions about which legal status best suits their relationship. A family law attorney offers you the steady guidance you need when you’re making life-changing decisions, according to https://kirlewlawfirm.com/.

Important Legal Rights and Benefits of Domestic Partnerships

When you become a domestic partner, you are granted specific legal rights and benefits that significantly affect your lives when you are together. This ensures that a domestic partner is entitled to certain benefits. These include the right to make medical decisions or refuse treatment for each other when a partner is unable to do so.

You are eligible for certain tax incentives offered to you, among which is filing joint returns while listing the partner not separately but together. You could also adopt or gain custody of children from the same state.

All these legal reasons provide a deep sense of security for you and your partner that they are on each other’s side and have support, while other aspects of your life and health merge into the solid mold of their relationship.

Your Responsibilities in a Domestic Partnership

In a domestic partnership, you get both rights and duties that make your bond stronger. Talking openly about money, chores, and plans is key. This way, you support each other’s emotional and physical health.

Caring responsibilities and duties shared in mutual love, equality, and teamwork all work to develop a partnership’s trust, as these shared routines are performed with equal reverence. Respecting each other’s space and interests the same will enhance personal growth in the relationship.

You may discuss legal matters together, such as healthcare decisions and property ownership; it’s important to be prepared by understanding the how, what, and when of these matters so that you can prepare ahead of time. Further nurturing mutual respect in shared responsibility will establish an ordinary friendship foundation.

Setting Up Your Domestic Partnership: A State-by-State Guide

What process should be followed to establish a domestic partnership? Start by checking laws specific to your state, as requirements are greatly diverse. While some states require that you register your partnership at an office of the local government, others do provide for online options. 

Some basis will include gathering the legal documents that include proof of identification and prior evidence that you have been living in the same residence or sometimes shared bills or a lease agreement jointly.

An application form may have to be filled out, possibly with an associated fee. Make a study of resident remedies to have a clear picture of waiting periods or any further requirements specifically applicable to your state. 

Upon submission of the application, confirmation of registration of domestic partnership is given. Bear in mind that the document gives you certain rights to protect you.

How to End Your Domestic Partnership?

Ending a domestic partnership might be challenging; however, some formal knowledge about the process does help. Research the laws in your state; each state has its particular requirements. You will have to file a petition of dissolution with your local court. Collect all your documents; your partnership agreement and financial records are important. Consider decisions on child custody or property division if this applies.

You might need to go to a public hearing where a judge will review your case. A perfectly permissible option is to accept the terms of the agreement. After the court grants your dissolution, you will receive a court order ending your partnership. 

You can make changes in all vital legal papers and inform everybody who needs to know about the situation.

Frequently Asked Questions About Domestic Partnerships

You may have further questions about domestic partnership and its difference from marriage. What is clear is that no states see domestic partnerships as the same as marriages.

One might wonder about the steps to start a partnership. It’s easy to meet the conditions, like living together. There are benefits like health care, inheritance, or tax relief, but they vary by place.

You might also think about ending the partnership. This usually happens through legal steps, like a divorce. Always check your local laws to make sure they match.

Being informed helps partners make thoughtful decisions about their relationship and plan for the future with clarity and security.

Staff Writer; Fred Moore

Stereotypes exist in every space and they are damaging. It is difficult to see our people stereotype each other knowing that we face it on a larger scale from others. Stereotypes ought not be used to hold someone accountable because it speaks against the character of the person trying to hold one to account. This is difficult to digest for some because they won’t like that they can’t just call someone a thug, or fast, or angry, or violent or ungodly as a way to hold them accountable in areas where growth is needed. All of those things have an origin and none of that addresses the issue. We need to take a long look in the mirror regarding how we hold people in our life accountable.

The first thing one should do is look at themselves honestly. If you know you battle with anger, unforgiveness, or have been given help to get on your feet then you must take these things into consideration before you come for another. Far too often, especially with young people, they are stereotyped and labeled by others who should be willing to help them. Yes, I’m talking about families that look down on their members that don’t have it together. Being condescending and labeling these loved ones is not holding them accountable. It’s not teaching them how to own themselves, and their situations so that growth can begin. Far too often we are not willing to be honest about what happened to these family members. In the attempt to protect the “favorites” in the family we won’t hold them accountable for what they have done to those we demand to be accountable. This is a touchy topic for too many so there is no accountability across the board. Those spiraling are unwilling to hear because they know how they are seen, and they begin to recognize they are alone.

Family elders must stop stereotyping their younger family members. Too many elders need a come to Jesus with themselves, and because they can better hide their lack of accountability, they think it’s unseen. Too many lean on deference and respect feeling that no one should speak to them a certain way. The truth is if you are honest with an elder in a respectful tone, they will then deem you disrespectful simply because the truth is told. Far too often this turns into a shouting match, and the younger member is given more negative labels and ungodly might be one of them. These family members can be lost because they will understand there is a lack of accountability, and hypocrisy. They may choose to come around less or not at all. Unfortunately, there are times whereby this is also the troubled family member. They could end up losing their life because of how they were seen so they were never loved properly. And we all know the funeral is going to be a re-writing of history about how they were so loved. It’s tragic.

The younger generations must be mindful of this very same thing. Too many of us give no grace but demand it. The elders of the family are human beings and imperfect. If they humble themselves and teach the lessons through transparency that is a blessing. We ought not to label them and use that information to tear them down, or as a reason not to heed their warning. Many of them have seen things they pray we never do, blowing them off with labels that are not justified to avoid accountability doesn’t help us grow and become better.

The bottom line is labels and stereotypes have no place in the discussion of accountability nor responsibility. When this happens relationships and communities shatter as hypocrisy surfaces in an ugly way. We must see accountability, and address it, though the lens of love, care, and honesty. More of our loved ones would be saved if we just took the time to check self then address others with healing as the goal.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

May connect with this sister over at Facebook; C. Starr and also Twitter; MrzZeta.

Also via email at; CStarr@ThyBlackMan.com.

When the phrase pro life comes up in Black spaces, people often tense up. Some shut down immediately. Others assume it means judgment, control, or disrespect toward Black women. But from where I stand as a Black man and a father, the question of life cannot be reduced to ideology. It is deeply personal. It touches masculinity, responsibility, grief, economics, history, trauma, and the future of Black people as a whole.

We cannot talk about being pro life in the Black community without acknowledging that Black life has always been under threat. Long before abortion debates, our ancestors were treated as property, our children sold away, our families broken by force. The destruction of Black family structure did not begin in modern America. It began the moment Black men were denied the right to protect their wives and children, denied ownership of their labor, and denied recognition as fathers in the eyes of the law.

That historical wound still bleeds today.

In modern America, Black people make up a small percentage of the population but experience a massive share of early death, incarceration, poverty, and loss. According to public health data, Black women account for more than one third of abortions in the United States. This is not because Black women value life less. It is because Black communities often face economic instability, limited access to quality health care, higher rates of chronic stress, and fewer structural supports for family stability.

But there is another truth that must be faced. Black men are too often absent from the conversation entirely. Not because we do not matter, but because we have been told we do not.

When a Black child is conceived, a Black man is involved whether acknowledged or not. When that life ends before birth, a Black man is affected whether allowed to grieve or not. Yet society often treats Black men as irrelevant to both outcomes. That erasure is dangerous.

As a Black father, I believe being pro life means restoring the moral weight of fatherhood. It means acknowledging that creating life carries responsibility beyond pleasure, beyond convenience, beyond fear. Too many of us were raised without models of present, nurturing fatherhood. Not because Black men do not love their children, but because systems have repeatedly removed us from them. Prison policies, employment discrimination, housing instability, and family court systems have made it harder for Black men to remain intact within families.

Over time, many Black men internalized the idea that fatherhood is optional or accidental. That mindset feeds directly into how pregnancy is viewed. Children become problems to solve rather than lives to protect.

Research consistently shows that father presence matters deeply. Children with engaged fathers are less likely to experience behavioral problems, substance abuse, and incarceration. Black boys with present fathers are more likely to finish school and less likely to be criminalized. Black girls with present fathers show higher self esteem and lower rates of early sexual activity. These are not moral arguments. They are documented outcomes.

When abortion becomes normalized as a routine solution rather than a last resort, it reinforces the idea that Black fathers are unnecessary. It sends a quiet message that Black male responsibility begins and ends at conception. That message damages men and children alike.

This does not mean ignoring the very real fears surrounding pregnancy. Economic pressure is one of the most powerful forces shaping decisions. Black men know what it feels like to worry about providing. Many of us watched our fathers struggle under the weight of expectations without support. Many of us were told explicitly or implicitly that a man without money is not a man at all.

That belief pushes fear into the center of decision making. Fear of not being enough. Fear of repeating cycles. Fear of failure.

But fatherhood is not only financial. Presence matters. Emotional stability matters. Protection matters. Guidance matters. A man does not need to be perfect to be necessary.

There is also the emotional side of abortion that Black men are rarely allowed to discuss. Many Black men carry quiet grief. Some never knew about the pregnancy until it was over. Some felt pressured to stay silent. Some were told their feelings did not matter. But loss leaves a mark whether acknowledged or not.

Unprocessed grief often turns into detachment. Avoidance. Fear of commitment. Emotional shutdown. These patterns ripple through relationships and communities. When Black men are excluded from conversations about life and death, healing becomes harder.

Another layer that cannot be ignored is historical distrust. Black communities are aware that population control has been a recurring theme in American history. From forced sterilizations to discriminatory public health policies, Black reproduction has often been treated as a problem to manage rather than a future to nurture. While modern health care providers may not share those intentions, the legacy shapes perception and deserves honest discussion.

Being pro life in the Black community must include critical awareness. It must include asking who benefits when Black birth rates decline while others are encouraged to grow and preserve lineage. These are not conspiracy theories. They are historical patterns.

At the same time, being pro life cannot mean abandoning compassion. Condemnation without support is not protection of life. It is control. Black women face disproportionately high maternal mortality rates. Many navigate pregnancy under stress levels that affect physical health. Any serious commitment to life must include better prenatal care, mental health support, economic opportunity, and protection for mothers.

Black men have a role here too. Supporting life means supporting the women who carry it. That includes emotional presence, accountability, and partnership. It also means advocating for systems that do not punish poverty or fracture families through bureaucratic indifference.

Sex education must also be part of this conversation. Silence does not prevent pregnancy. Shame does not build responsibility. Young Black men need honest education about sex, consent, and consequence. Masculinity cannot continue to be defined by conquest. That definition harms women and leaves men unprepared for the responsibilities they create.

Teaching Black boys to value life includes teaching them to value restraint, communication, and long term thinking. A man who respects life respects himself.

Faith communities have a role as well. Many Black families are rooted in spiritual traditions that affirm the sacredness of life. But faith must be paired with action. Preaching without support pushes people away. Mentorship matters. Real examples matter. Black men who are present fathers must be visible, vocal, and willing to guide younger men without judgment.

At its core, being pro life from a Black father’s perspective is about reclaiming agency. It is about refusing to accept narratives that portray Black men as disposable, dangerous, or unnecessary. It is about choosing responsibility in a society that profits from our absence.

This is not an easy stance. It requires honesty about our failures and courage to change patterns. It requires standing up when it would be easier to disappear. It requires seeing children not as interruptions but as legacy.

Black fatherhood is one of the most powerful tools of resistance we have. Loving, protecting, and guiding life in a world that often devalues it is revolutionary. Being pro life is not about politics for me. It is about survival. It is about future generations. It is about choosing life not just at birth but every day afterward.

When Black men step fully into fatherhood, we change the trajectory of families, communities, and history itself. Life deserves that commitment.

Staff Writer; L.L. McKenna

Politics explained through the lens of justice and equity. Offering perspective that informs, challenges, and empowers.

One can contact this brother at; LLMcKenna@ThyBlackMan.com.