The article above, which I agree with, is about our men finding their Michelle, not about us women criticizing men or finding our Barack. Keep up girl, keep up.

I experienced exactly what the writer talks about. My husband had virtually nothing but potential and a vision when I met him. My gfs told me he was beneath me and to find a man who had more or who was doing better. Now every single woman who told me that is either without a man or has a man with THINGS who cheats on her and treats her like dirt.

I, on the other hand, helped him through school and he just passed the BAR exam this year. He is also a school teacher and a mentor for young boys. We have a strong relationship but i first had to have insight, not a bunch of stipulations that would have made me screen him out.

So where is your man since you can only criticize?

Any marriage is a risk in a dozen different ways. But you can minimize most of that risk by carefully screening the person you want to marry. The problem is that most people either don’t know how to do that effectively or won’t bother to because they are focusing on the wrong things. Things like sex, looks, what he drives, how much he makes etc.

This causes people to think below the waste or use their hearts while turning off their minds. Almost any relationship that crashed and burns likely had signs and symptoms all along. But you didn’t see them or didn’t want to. And for those who did see them, many of you didn’t know what the signs and symptoms meant.

I have written articles on this site (and others) about how to choose your spouse. It is not complicated, but it is complex and it does require you to pay attention and do your homework. To know his or her background, past relationships, desires, objectives etc.

I have no problem with a man of color who knows who he is dating or marrying a Caucasian female for the right reasons – love, not as a status symbol trophy.

First of all, as a counselor I would not say the 18 years were a waste. Especially if you were happy with your husband. And especially if you had children. What if the relationship came to be for the primary purpose of the birth and success of those children, not just for you nor him? We always think about what we go through as only for us or about us and sometimes that is just not true.

I am not ignoring your point about your 18 years of commitment example and I do not support a man who does that at all. He either has an identity problem or he feels he has “arrived” so he can get a white woman. But white women are not the standard, certainly not based on color. It makes me sick to see people like Tiger Woods, OJ and Ice Cube think they have risen to the status to have a white woman. Then look who they get and what happens when they get one. Serves the guys right.

To the woman who is deserted by her husband, if she was faithful and a good woman, she has just seen who he really was after 18 years. i would rather die than leave my wife and vows mean everything to me. It is easy to me because my parents were married 54 years until my dad died and my wife’s parents hit 46 years until her dad died. Sadly that is not the case with far too many African American men because many have not seen that.

I suggest the woman forgive him, never connect with him again, know that she was a giant among people, rebuild and enjoy her life. She should be admired tremendously and the pain will fade with time. She should also try again and not let what he did spoil her future.

I also suggest the children confront the dad about what he did. And believe me, nobody gets away with anything so he WILL answer for that at the most inconvenient time. I think about Diary Of A Mad Black Woman.

Barack Obama did not have a plan. you are wrong. He was groomed and encouraged and selected to run for President. He wanted to be a lawyer and community organizer, which he did. When Michelle met him, Barack was not making any money and had very little. He did not have a law degree because she mentored him in his first year. Get the facts.

While she turned him down, eventually she married him and stood by his side. Thus you have not refuted anything in this article. Your statements are misleading and inaccurate.

Women like you prove I am right and you are part of the problem. Clearly i pointed out that she saw something in him – potential. And there was no guarantee that he would even finish law school when she got with him,. So she took a chance on love and potential, not on what he had.

All that being said, what do you have? What do you bring to the table? What is your education? You are the type woman who will miss your blessing because you are too ignorantly busy judging him to be less than you.

As a counselor I have seen so much of that. Then when a white female stands by a brother, he ends up a doctor, lawyer etc, you will have your mouth all stuck out saying he left the sistas. You need counseling and your attitude is bad.

You pick whomever but you don’t get to define what a man should be. You are not God, not his parents nor his employer. Work on yourself. Brothers don’t need tearing down that you learn from white racists oppressors. Brother need building up and to be believed in.

In your example at least the brother is in college, not on the street and not incarcerated. And if it is taking 5 years, you don’t even know why. You are just running your mouth. And if he is sticking with it for 5 years, that is something you idiot.

I have advanced degrees and certifications and corporate management experience and I am a published author. I guarantee you i make more than you do. But I would never ever choose a headache like you because you would be a liability.

Kendria you would have looked down on Greg Matthis who went to jail. but now he is JUDGE Greg Matthis and if you can’t see that, you are blind as a bat and only half as smart. Women like you are an infection on the African American community and you prove my point.