Your points are all over the place and more the opinions of a woman who is offended and biased than a woman who is trying to understand and resolve the problem. Try starting with empathy as to why many African American men often feel the way they do. I am a family and relationship counselor, mediator and life coach who has counseled thousands of “black” men, women and families so I speak from vast experience, expertise, sociological, psychological and spiritual facts.

Caucasian women are not the standard nor are African American women. What about looking at what God in the Bible says a woman or a man should be? Unless you think you know it better than he does. Instead of telling black men what we should want or criticizing us for who we do choose, you might want to take an honest look at the problems caused by your gender, the bi-polar issues and the damaged spirits or insecure psyches of so many African American females. Blame resolves nothing but looking at the facts does because it wipes away denial, allowing us to get to the root of all of our problems at the core.

You cannot tell a man what he should not need based on what he does not want. Wants and needs are not the same thing and a basic review of psychology 101 shows that. You seem to slam African American men instead of empathizing and building them up. Slamming them makes you part of the very problem they complain about, not part of the solution.

African American women who are “hurt” as you say by the issues you discuss need to look in the mirror, as do we all – male or female and regardless of color. Many “black” men are tired of the mouth on many black women and the funky attitudes, the gimme, gimme and the baggage, the blaming the next guy for what they last guy did and so on. These are valid concerns. Caucasian women are by no means perfect but the way they approach things is generally different, less drama and more peaceful.

Do you know what a “diva” is? A “diva” is a rambunctious spirit that inhabits a plant. Yet too many African American women celebrate being that way. African American men are tired of that. So before you help Massa tear down brothers, look in the mirror, look at all sides of the problem and try to understand the African American male perspective. And in case you wondered, I am an African American man who is close to his mother, who has three sisters and who loves his African American wife more than I can say. But for far too many “black” women, they have deep seated issues.

My opinion about so many sisters is confirmed by other Black men I know. These are professional, educated brothers who speak and dress well. While not all make a lot of money. They are decent and caring men. The world is hard enough to deal with. Men want a gentle voice, love and support as do women. So often sisters who have had to be strong all their lives can’t put their defenses down for a minute.