I want to rebut your rebuttal.

1. The King’s English is with what I was raised. I love language. I am fascinated and obsessed with it. Indeed, I do my best to learn new words as often as possible. I’m unsure how I might write something that delineates my education and argument, yet restrains from excessive indulgence in the King’s English. It’s all relative. This is how I speak and write, and yet I do a whole host of voices (I fancy myself a comedian, though I suspect you would think me a failed dramatist of the lowest caliber were you to listen to me). Moreover, how should I speak and write in such a way as to garner support for my narrative and yet not condescend people? I have struggled throughout my life to achieve this very equilibrium to no avail.

2. Subliminal mind control? I think you afford me far, far, far more credit than I deserve. I wish there was a response to this particular argument that did not bolster it or require that I retreat entirely from my narrative. It is a tautological argument that affords me no opportunity for rebuttal, and therefore I can only say with sincerity that I lack the intelligence, ruthlessness and general disregard for humanity subliminal mind control necessitates.

3. I did not mean to conflate or tie together the Jews and blacks as to homogenize their histories or struggles. I meant only to exemplify the point I wished to make with comparison. Comparison is a useful tool when objectivity or completeness is impossible or impractical. I am fascinated with all history, including ecological and cosmological, and yet, as the breadth and depth of history is truly inconceivable, I do my best with my intelligence and the available information. I find the history of black people and the Jews particularly interesting.

4. You are right: I am unable to view the history of, well, any culture or group, including my own, with 100% objectivity or completeness. I simply do not possess the mental faculties. Moreover, I am young and still very much learning; and while I have much to learn, the dialogue about race is happening now. Yes, I may well be impulsive and insensitive to rush into such an intense and important dialogue, but my submission generated your rebuttal, and so learning is possible now. How do we learn anything if not by, often thoughtlessly, submitting our opinions and ideas to the world, and then absorbing and processing what we receive in response? The fact you wrote your rebuttal, I read it and absorbed it, and am now responding to it justifies, in my opinion, the original submission, even if not the arguments contained therein. Would this type of dialogue be possible in a classroom or in the real world? Not likely. And so, while I apologize for any insensitivity or callowness I demonstrated, I do not apologize that you responded so thoughtfully and therefore afforded me the opportunity to learn from someone with a different perspective. I have faced with incredible difficulty generating this type of discussion anywhere. And so, when faced with the reality of the shallowness and ridiculousness of the meaningless dialogue you can literally find anywhere, sometimes it’s best just to submit it and pray you get something thoughtful in return, I have found.

5. I do not know how to refer to black people. I have heard some say African; others are okay with black. There’s no consensus anywhere and so, for the sake of actually having a conversation, I defer to what’s dominant for the sake of getting to what matters. I don’t know how best to approach it; I don’t know how to approach it without offending at least one person. I don’t necessarily appreciate being lumped together with whites – in fact, as I am nearly transparent with a pinkish tinge (sunlight and I have not quite reached healthy understanding, lol), I prefer to think I belong to the salmon race. Race is a manufactured construct in terms of how we discuss it and how races are defined. And therefore, I choose to manufacture my own race, the salmon race, because I find the notion of race somewhat ridiculous and completely unmanageable in terms of political and social discussion. In fact, I only recently learned that the difference between “light skin” and “dark skin” is important to black people. I thought at first it had to do with the fact that I subscribe to the utterly fictitious and superfluous “white-black” dichotomy, but then I realized that I simply had no cause, at that point, to know of or understand the distinction. I would ask only that my ignorance and education get criticized in equal measure, but also with a grain of salt.

6. I dropped out of college: three times, actually, and precisely because I was exhausted with what I considered to be nothing more than systematic indoctrination; I do not have a degree. However, I have read quite a bit and on a lot of subjects, and I tend to use structured writing to make structured points because it seems to be the most effective. Also, this is but one piece I have written. I have written countless others and I have experimented with myriad forms and structures of writing. As I can only approach this subject logically, rationally and academically, because I am a white person attempting to understand the history of a different race, I employ that style and structure of writing so as to be clear and coherent, and because it prevents me treading beyond the waters I feel comfortable navigating.

7. Inimical? Really? That’s a bit harsh. I will admit I hesitated even to write it, but I had been working on the idea a long time. What I wanted was to reconstruct the narrative with a more idealistic tone. Did I mean to dismiss or deny the realities black people face, or to neglect the heterogeneity of “the black race?” No, and if it appeared that way, I apologize and I am thankful you pointed it out, but it was a response in a comments section. Had I gone further and developed a true thesis, I would like to think I would have compensated for what was lacking. What I have noticed throughout my life is that nihilism and hopelessness are rampant. It saddens me to think that the future is bound to an inevitably disastrous fate because the oppressiveness of pessimistic and cynical narratives proved insurmountable. I admit, I did not know what I was doing and I still don’t, but when you witness injustice, when you witness entire generations and groups of people falling prey to cynicism and pessimism and violence and despair, it is the thrashing of the human spirit that fuels the will to change the narrative, to say something, anything, anything at fucking all, in genuine and sincere hope it will cause even one person – just one person – to think differently about the world, about themselves, about America, about the future.

I do not mention Malcolm X, though I have read some of his work and am vaguely familiar with his life, because I am, and, I admit, because the material conditions of security and privilege in which I live allow it, a staunch pacifist, as well as a Christian; although, if I recall correctly, I believe Mr. X ultimately embraced nonviolence. (I always think of Walter from The Big Lebowski when I say pacifist: “I dabbled in pacifism. Not in ‘Nam, of course (lol.”)

– I know Mr. X, as I have, shifted views and associations throughout his life. I have studied Islam a bit (I recently purchased a Qur’an so as to broaden my perspective), but I found I did not agree with much of Mr. X’s worldview, based on what I know of it. I believe in integration because I like diversity; I think the world would be an awful place without it. However, I would never force people to interact with anyone. I am overly critical of white people primarily because I am one, self-loathing, and because I grew up in a suburban bourgeois Mecca, which I found to be just really, really intolerable. Moreover, I do not believe in the superiority of any race over another.

– I have spent a long time attempting to understand the courage of conviction and self-sacrifice Nelson Mandela exemplified when he willfully endure several more years of prison for his comrades. As I am sure you are aware, that level of moral courage and conviction is utterly lacking in the world. Yes, he is a prominent black man and therefore it is easy to mention him, but that in no way diminishes his actions. I will not apologize admiring Nelson Mandela. Indeed, as I tend to consider myself flighty and inconsistent, people such as Nelson Mandela are to whom I look when I cannot muster the will even to endure my comfortable, cozy existence. I don’t care what you think about this particular point: he was a beautiful man and undoubtedly one of the finest leaders of the 20th century. What he achieved and how he achieved it in South Africa is among the finest examples of leadership I have ever encountered. I only wish I was half the man he was and yet I wish never to obtain the position he obtained, and rightfully, because I do not believe I possess what he possessed in terms of his compassion, humanity, wisdom, and resolve not to allow hate, despair, or fear dictate his human being.

In conclusion, I appreciate your rebuttal, truly. I waited for someone, anyone, to rebut it and I can honestly say I didn’t even care whether it was to trash thoroughly everything I wrote. As for my mastery of the King’s Speech, I wasn’t allow to do much as a kid and so the dictionary and books were, and still are, the best friends I have ever had. I’m not so adept socially, and it’s only worsened with age and experience, but I will not apologize that language, which is my passion, is something I take quite seriously. I understand your point about the n-word, but there’s no way to navigate it. The n-word is as offensive as the real word, but unless there is no be discussion about it whatsoever, I choose the abbreviated version as the lesser of two evils. I only wanted, in terms of that point, to rebut the argument that there is no useful narrative element to be gleaned from the fact that blacks have appropriated it for their own purposes. There is meaning in everything; and I believe there is positive meaning in everything, if it can be expressed clearly and coherently, if it can be disseminated, and if people are willing to use their minds to choose to embrace it. I was asked by the editor of this website if he could post the article, and the reason I found even to write it finally was in response to another man’s article. I did not want to offend people, though I suspected I might, and if I was or am ignorant, well, I would rather be ignorant and at least try and give a damn, then simply be ignorant and not try or care at all.