Comments on: Black Woman, When Love Hurts.

By: Ramses

Ramses — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 08:36:56 +0000

Damn Kells I feel yur pain brother….I think having some type of family counsel may help if there are family members on both sides you both respect. They do this stuff in the court system, which started in our families first because our families is our first court. Honest dialog about one’s feelings are key. Each party should have the space to express their concerns, no matter how much it might hurt the other party. It seems like you care for her and sometimes a warm embrace can do wonders in terms of opening a dialog. A lot of times females are mean because they really do love you and their pride won’t accept the fact that your presences has opened their heart, when they had planned on keeping it closed (note Deborah Cox song). The prospects of Love, I’ve learned frightens a lot of women out here. Sometimes the women have low self-esteem of themselves and don’t believe they deserve love. It’s crazy. You might can’t change her, but you can let her know how much you want things to work and what your expectations are as far as having a family is concerned. Let her know how important it is for you to keep your family intact. I pray that this is important for her as well and if it is, I’m hopeful a resolution can be reached. Relationships work when the focus is not about winning arguments and more about solving the issues when they present themselves. Let her know emphatically that your children are not in competition with one another. There is enough Love to go around for everyone in a family structure is people are willing to give it. I definitely don’t want to see you or your family crumble so early in this new year and let your queen know we are pulling for you’ll to get it together because we need strong families. I send my love and prayers towards your family and I want it to change for the better so your Queen can feel protected and you can be fulfilled and nurtured the way you should be as a Man. Some women can lash out like wounded animals, even though they are with a Man who has their best interest. Let her know if you make a mistake, it’s not because you’re like the previous Man that was in her life. You should be able to make your mistakes freely and be judged for them based on it’s just you. Not be compared to someone she previously was in a relationship with. It’s unfair to you and the health of your family moving forward. You have feelings too and it’s nothing weak about you expressing them in an honest and respectful way. I know you’ll can work it out. Honest dialog is everything. peace and love family

By: Terrance Amen

Terrance Amen — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 07:42:33 +0000

@ Kells

Hey Brother I don’t have experience in this area, but you would usually speak to a minister or someone in the health field or an older couple who have been married for a long time. Based on their experience, they may be able to help you. If anybody has any other ideas or help in this area, please help this Brother. He is asking for our help. You should be commended for hanging in there Brother Kells

Black Unity means financial independence and happiness

By: Kells

Kells — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 03:34:10 +0000

I have been with this young lady for less than a year, she is not telling me something about her constant anger, we fight 90% of the time party because she is pregnant but I believe mostly it’s because she has some hidden pain/anger. She has a child I have a child but she does not like my daughter. She feels my daughter get too much attention and that I feel my daughter is smarter than her son but the fact is my daughter is a 3 year old and her son is two. She is in daycare he is not so they are two separate individuals. I having a hard time reasoning common sense with her, I don’t know how to argue effectively I don’t always remember my points. Please help me

By: Terrance Amen

Terrance Amen — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 07:23:26 +0000

@ Steph

I don’t have a column, but I’ve written a couple of articles on this site, just type in my name for them. My main focus is in promoting my book, Black Unity: The Total Solution to Financial Independence and Happiness. I really believe this is the direction we should be heading in. Thanks for the complement.

Black Unity means financial independence and happiness

By: Steph

Steph — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 14:46:16 +0000

Thanks for the information Terrance. By the way, I read many of your comments on this website and they are very interesting. You should be a columnist.

By: Terrance Amen

Terrance Amen — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 08:48:16 +0000

@ Steph

Here is a link that talks about the different rights of passage ceremonies in Africa. We have adopted some of these, but I would like to see a national program for our people, based on African principals, but connected to what we need here in America.

http://www.africanholocaust.net/ritesofpassage.html

Black Unity means financial independence and happiness

By: Steph

Steph — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 00:01:05 +0000

Message to Terrance Amen,

Can you share with us more information about the rights of passage ceremonies?

By: Steph

Steph — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 23:18:05 +0000

I would like people to know that women can be very violent. My mom has been violent toward me since the age of 4. Later, in life I worked in a very unhealthy environment. Most of the co-workers were women and many were psychologically violent. It has been one of the worst experiences of my life. One of our co-workers who was a female killed herself and wrote a letter to our employer before she died. They kept it as a secret, so nobody knows the full content of the letter!!! When I was going to complete my law degree, a powerful racist person in the law faculty, a woman has been psychologically violent toward me because she didn’t want me to finish my studies. I went through hell with women and I don’t believe anymore in feminism. I strongly recommend to people to watch the movie Geisha. I could totally identify with the main character. The director of this movie is a man and he truly understands the psychology of women. Even if the story happens in Japan, it is a universal story.

By: Terrance Amen

Terrance Amen — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 08:27:06 +0000

WOW
Thank you, Sister Camilla for sharing one of your deepest experiences. As a Black man I’m very sad to hear too often stories like these. As I write this, a brother killed 3 people, including his self and injured even more. I believe his wife was there as well. I believe a lot of these problems stem from Black men not having responsible, caring, respecting, protecting, and loving fathers in their lives to be an example to emulate. You could also say the same for Black women who don’t see a positive Male figure to know how to be treated.

Unfortunately there is a history of this, which I believe stems all the way back to slavery. In Africa we had rights of passage ceremonies to teach our children how to behave. I think we need to apply these same teachings again in our community. Speaking of community, it is also sad that no one intervened to help you, even though people knew. This is also a sad story. But we have to break away from this individual mindset that is not ours and once again think as a community. Yes individually we have been successful, but as a community, it’s in word only.

Black Unity means financial independence and happiness

By: yis'sh'yah

yis'sh'yah — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 16:31:13 +0000

CLUELESS!!!! THESE ARE THE CURSES SPOKEN OF IN DEUTRONOMY WHETHER BLACK FOLKS WANT TO ADMIT IT OR NOT THE LAST 400 YEARS THE HAND OF YAH/GOD HAS BEEN ON US TO BREAK OUR STIFF NECK WAYS LEARN MORE AT YAHSPEOPLE.COM HEBREWISRAELITES.ORG MAY YAH BE WITH YOU