Comments on: He Doesn’t Need Your Permission.

By: Marque-Anthony

Marque-Anthony — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:23:22 +0000

INTERESTING THAT SO MANY WOMEN AGREE WITH THIS ARTICLE AND THAT’S GREAT. I WONDER IF AS MANY WOMEN WOULD AGREE IF IT WAS WRITTEN BY A MALE.

By: Marque-Anthony

Marque-Anthony — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:21:35 +0000

The Bible says wives submit to your husbands that if they obey not the word, they may be won over by the conversation of the wife. Did you hear that? It’s not just following the man when he is obeying God, it’s even when he “obeys not the word”. Why? Because if the woman lines up in obedience to God, the man is the only one God has to step up and fix, correct or punish.

Somebody has to obey God and the person who is wise enough to do so is the person who does not have to be dealt with or chastened. God gave the man his authority, not the court and not the woman. And only god can take that authority away. Ideally the woman should follow the wise and caring man who is the leader by example, not the ruler by ego.

If you do not want to submit to your husband, you have a problem with God and you willfully refuse to obey what He said. That will get you as much into hot water as the disobedient, lazy, disrespectful or abusive man. If you feel the man is not worth submitting to, why did you marry him or why are you with him?

A husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for it. Thus men have to be willing to die for our wives. So it comes out pretty balanced.

By: Marque-Anthony

Marque-Anthony — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:07:02 +0000

Absolutely excellent article. I write for this site and I am a published author, family and relationship counselor and professional speaker. Every so often I run across an article I wish I had written and this one is it. Your article is to the point and I am just as direct with men as you are with women. I appreciate and respect your honesty to tell it like it is. Keep it up please. READ SOME OF MY ARTICLES ON THIS SITE. If you would like me to share some with you, email me at brainstormonline@yahoo.com

By: enrico

enrico — Thu, 22 Jan 2015 23:14:32 +0000

preach pls continue to give this type of unbiased real advice. i really appreciate it, at last I’ve found my thoughts and present battles in my relationship clarified in this article. thanks it was a breath of fresh air and clarity good to know i am not alone. happy new year

By: ChuChu

ChuChu — Wed, 21 Jan 2015 10:34:21 +0000

The average woman dates with her eyes shut. She knows all the questions she should ask a man on a date, but settles for the information that he volunteers. She overhears comments he makes to other people that contradict things he’s said in the past, but will front as if she didn’t hear anything. When a girl does ask a serious question, they rarely follow up, not because they don’t want to know, but because they’re afraid to know too much. The majority of females would rather fall in love under the rules of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, because history has proven that too good to be true guys are often revealed to be full of shit under cross examination. Why test a man you know will fail, when ignorance feels so fucking blissful? By the time a woman enters into a legit relationship with a non-vetted man she’s so accustomed to ignoring “the small things” that even the brightest of red flags is filed as just a misunderstanding. Nine out of ten women are currently in relationships with men they don’t trust. Poll these chicks and they will tell you how trust is the most important thing they need to get into a relationship, but they refuse to practice what they preach. When faced with a man that’s good on paper but suspicious in his actions, women keep their mouths closed. A girl will keep her hand raised when questioning her friend’s man, but when it comes to her own it’s, “I give him his space…” Why are you so fucking hypocritical and weak? He has a career and doesn’t live with his mother, therefore you aren’t going to ask him anything too annoying or digging because it took you two years to find someone like that. He doesn’t have any kids and knows how to date like a gentlemen, so you aren’t going to question inconsistencies in his behavior because you don’t want to go back to dating men with Baby Mamas. Men today aren’t held accountable. They are in the habit of telling women what they feel like telling them, and most women actually listen when they are told “mind your business.” I often hear basic bitches say, “I didn’t ask because he told me that he doesn’t like girls who ask a lot of questions.” Why would a man say that, ladies? He’s training your dumb ass to accept your role.Again, women aren’t stupid, they have amazing intuition, but they swallow shit and call it pudding in order to appease and keep a man who doesn’t want to be exposed emotionally. Every woman reading this has the right to ask questions, to point out suspect behavior, and to hold a man accountable when his words ring hollow. So the question is why do too many women sacrifice trust, in order to attain love?

By: Deeann D. Mathews

Deeann D. Mathews — Sun, 19 Aug 2012 06:19:33 +0000

I was thinking of this article today because I was talking to a sista who has some situations going on… a whole family, parents, kids, and grandkids, in which nobody knows for sure who’s supposed to be running things, and the women have taken control because they feel they have no other alternative… but are pretty much closed to the idea that they need to find a way to help and encourage the men to take up more of the load (as if men can somehow get better in a vacuum; if if somehow they weren’t human, needing help, support, and positive reinforcement from the people closest to them just like everyone else). I find myself thinking, “How did we get here?” In this year I have watched two entire Black families disintegrate when their beloved matriarchs (ages 87 and 90) died… insufficient legacy was passed on and put into the younger ones. And I have watched a young Black man who is deeply concerned for the younger people around him, who works hard and does all the things we want our sons and brothers to do, be absolutely persecuted and belittled by a bunch of older Black sistas who see him as a “threat” to their positions, none of whom want to give an inch in their spheres for him to learn new skills and assume leadership. I just find myself in contemplation of the DEEP state of confusion we are now in… the old gender roles may not have been perfect, but what we have now is sheer madness, because “matriarchy” is not cutting it either.

Men don’t need our permission, true… but they do need our acknowledgement of the unique role only they can play in the future of our coming generations, and our corresponding respectful action in terms of support and wilingness to follow when they do lead. Our sons also need us to get them around the men that are leading, and also to be willing to move out of some positions so that they can learn how to lead — leading effectively is something that requires some OJT. If we do not do this, we are going to be fully responsible, along with the men who are not doing their part, for the destruction of Black people in this country’s future — our children, our grandchildren.

By: Kelly Robinson

Kelly Robinson — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 23:45:26 +0000

I absolutely LOVE THIS ARTICLE and I am woman. I have been saying this for decades; but then again I am a Southern Woman so we are raised by a different standard. I remember hearing Michael Baisden saying on his radio show, “Ladies will you LET us lead?” I was screaming at the radio, “I EXPECT YOU TO LEAD!”

By: Jinn

Jinn — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 20:35:52 +0000

This article’s description of a “real man” just echoes the same old patriarchtical nonsense I’ve heard over and over, and frankly I tired of hearing it. I have NO DESIRE to “dominate men” or be above anybody in any way, but I’m just so TURNED OFF by all these gender roles, and it makes me so weary of entering a relationship because I feel like doing so automatically qualifies me as a second class citizen. I don’t want a man to have “RIGHTOUS control” (what the hell is that anyway) over my mind/body/soul. That just makes me uneasy. All this “stay in your lane/take the lead/head of household” bull makes relationships seem well…..like ugly battlefeilds. You want women to “learn her place” and don’t instruct a man about his. OK. How about these so called worthy men stop expecting these sentiments in a relationship just because one partner is born with a vagina and the other a penis and strive to be the most GENUINE human beings they can be, and vice versa with women. I have no desire to be a “help meet/servant” or “follow” behind another individual who was not with me in my journey from the womb and will not accompany me in my departure from this world. I can be a fantastic counselor, nurturer, best friend, lover, and burden bearer, but how can one express authentic love in such a….strict and forced enviornment? Women should’nt prescribe roles and expectations to INDIVIDUALS, and neither should men, for we are individuals, each with our own varying and unique circunstances and situations. Tired of these pointless and aged gender roles. Times always change, and so should we.

By: Mack

Mack — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 02:45:31 +0000

Standing ovation…

By: Felicia

Felicia — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 22:15:21 +0000

I agree with this article 100% for those REAL MEN that exist, And I know they do. However lately there is a shortage of men that are willing or even know how to take over the role of a REAL MAN!!! There are way too many men that are content and even seek women tht will provide for them but feel they should be worthy to be called the man of the house. Call it like it is, some of our brothers need to step it up and start treating their ladies like queens & providing for their fam, tht is if they expect to be the king & treated as such. Trust some deadbeat dad or womanizer/abuser is reading this article with his chest stuck out and feeling tht this applies to them.