Comments on: Glorifying Single Mothers.

By: lew

lew — Mon, 28 Jul 2014 18:14:24 +0000

I don’t understand how ANY pregnant woman isn’t her fault except for rape. Any other inpregnation is done by the consent of both parties. How is that not the womans fault? I’m NOT saying the man doesn’t have fault because they do and should PAY for their children. However, normally, the woman is the one who controls whether the ship gets docked.

By: Marlon

Marlon — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 06:48:07 +0000

this column was real; The family is internationally recognized as the fundamental unit of society, no wonder why our’s is under the attack of propoganda. Anybody thinking that it takes less than a conscious village to raise our children is wrong and the celebration of single-moms is vanity

By: Terrance Amen

Terrance Amen — Sun, 08 Jul 2012 08:34:46 +0000

My follow up. I left out another important part to this article and that is the sanctity of marriage. It’s been said that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Why? I thought it was until death do you part. This goes back to the values and principles we”ve seem to have forgotton about because we continue to follow other peoples values or lack of. If there is no physical or mental abuse, their should be no divorce. I believe we get married for all the wrong reasons. For how a person looks, the money, how well he or she is in the bed, and others. I wrote a book about this and the many other issues we have in our community. I also give the solutions. What happen to the courtship, in order to get to know each other, really know each other. There should be no sex before marriage. I know this sounds old fashion, but it worked because it was tradition and those were the values of the time. Now we allow our children to become hors and even dress the part. Boys and girls. I do agree with Scott that we can’t allow the media to always show us in inaccurate negative images, but there is some reality to this. The way we dress, act towards each other, etc. We can change the problems in our community without the help of the government or big business. If we only realize our potential as a united people. This is what we should be working on.

By: Ummm Yeahhh

Ummm Yeahhh — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 21:52:42 +0000

Scotty please show me those studies of involved single fathers. My practical experience shows me otherwise.

By: Rochelle

Rochelle — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 21:09:48 +0000

I liked your article, I can agree with giving single mothers credit, but my single parenthood was not glorious! I actually was ashamed at I got pregnant out of wedlock and did have a husband, thank God I met a wonderful man early in my child’s life, who was willing to step and go the plate and take care of us.

By: Lovelle

Lovelle — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 02:21:29 +0000

I agree with Terrance Amen about women re-learning to keep their legs closed, and I am one of them. I was 37yrs old when I got pregnant with my first child. I lived an eventful life, came from middle class, went to college, the air force, wrote a book, I design jewelry and I still allowed a slick talker who already had three baby mothers (that he know of) impregnate me. It wasn’t an accident, in fact he was my first puppy love when we both were young and had our virginity. 23 years later he became my sons father, and after years of street life, loose women, drugs, alcohol he was hardened. His brood of children, baby mothers, and family hated me because I worked for the government and own my own business so they influenced him to leave me, not support his son and make me fend for myself. My punishment for not nagging him, starting fights with the other mothers, begging him for sex, giving him money for other women, and allowing him to impregnate me more times. Yes its a hard road but it was God will for me to have this child. I was married in the Air Force and couldn’t conceive, with him or anyone else. I don’t hate my sons father, and I wish he wouldn’t allow his women to stop him from being a father. Maybe its my pride that won’t allow me to go crawling on my belly for his affections and handouts. But after my HPV scare. Keeping my legs closed isn’t such a bad idea. By the way, he fled to Florida when my son was born to avoid responsiblity. I have no doubt that he’s down there making more babies and spreading more hpv. Ladies beware, if you give up the P and just put in the I, it can easily turn into HIV where theres no cure for

By: Scotty

Scotty — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 19:04:20 +0000

Why single motherhood should not be promoted, single mothers should not be excluded and find nothing wrong with stories about women raising children. Furthermore, being a single does not necessarily mean that there is no father around as studies have shown that Black men are more involved than any other group in America with their children. We also have to ask why are these women single? I suspect a lot of Black fathers are absent not by choice but because they are the victims of the mass incarceration of Black people and happy to see the writer acknowledges some of these facts. Also, do not mistake what you hear coming from corporate rap and the corporate media as painting an accurate picture of Black culture. I am sure there are some who fit the stereotype but I do not accept it as being the norm. As a single divorced father who raised his children after getting custody, I can see this issue from so many angles.

By: Terrance Amen

Terrance Amen — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 10:43:34 +0000

I totally agree with the writer of this article. What used to be the exception has now become the norm. What does this say about our values and principles. I too was raised by my mother, and she did the best she could when you think about her having to work and find time to raise me. But this is not normal. I believe Black women are the most powerful beings on this planet. But until they re-learn to keep their legs closed until they’re marred, we will continue to write articles like this and the cycle will continue. It’s time to break the cycle.

By: natalie

natalie — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 19:40:25 +0000

@ umm yeah…u took the words out if my mouth! Thank you!

By: Lita

Lita — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 19:09:09 +0000

I enjoyed reading the article. I was raised by a strong single mother, with successful children. That being said three out of four of her children are married and raising their children as a married family unit. It is not easy being a single mother and it is not easy being a married mother. But I must say I was not taught by my mother on how to be a wife, or to share in the responsibilities of a childred because she made all of the decision on her own.

Having children and being married is a choice I made because I was raised in a single parent family and she did a great job. I was really hard on men so the man I married had to be legitimate and understand the dynamics of an African-American family. He was also raised by a single mother after the age of 9. I will say it creates a balance in a two parent house hold because when one parent is going over boarded about rules/situations the other is the balance and checks you on your attitude/emotions. My husband and I are still in love and my children see that love all the time. My daughter is confident and her dad shows her how she should be treated by treating her mother well 🙂 and visa versa.

I can’t teach my son to be a man and my husband can’t teach my daughter to be a woman. Having a balance in my family has really made a difference with my children and is needed. My son and daughter look for a well balance person to date and I tell them to think long term. Look at the family dynamic and if they are the family type. I also tell my children that having children should come after marriage and if you are dating and can’t see yourself with that person in a long-term relationship and with children, put the brakes on quickly, because that is not your soul mate. One issue I see is wasting your time with someone that is not long-term or not a candidate for marriage. Don’t settle because if you want to get married and they don’t then you are settling. If you have to give up a lot of what you want you are settling. You can find happiness.