Comments on: Deadbeat Dads or Bitter Mamas?

By: Prettyful

Prettyful — Sun, 27 Sep 2015 01:41:36 +0000

I also disagree with blaming the mother for who she chose to slept with…..it isnt like she planned to get pregnant or in some cases the guy made it seem like thats what HE wanted….you wouldnt blame a rape victim for wearing a miniskirt…dont blame a mother for getting pregnant…u never know what was going on before she got that positive test…

By: Prettyful

Prettyful — Sun, 27 Sep 2015 01:39:45 +0000

I personally do not agree….some women dont even want the men….sometimes a man just does not step up to the plate to take care of their child…this sounds like an excuse for men not being in their childs lives…and he doesnt have to live with or even date the mother to be there…..relationships fall apart thats understandable…but how do u explain to your child that daddy just doesnt care to call on ur bday?? how do u explain to a child that daddy doesnt care about ur school trip so hes not gonna give u the money for it?? not being in a relationship with the woman is NOT an excuse for child neglect…and im not siding with the mothers because i am a woman…i am siding with the mothers because regardless of her feelings toward her BD she STILL makes sure her child is ok…and tries to kiss away their tears….while the father is God knows where doing who knows what?? probably making more children he wont father……in that case the woman has EVERY right to be upset……because in reality…some fathers are just DEADBEATS…..I know…mine was…..my mother didnt even want him….yet he never made an attempt to see about me…..and if it is because the mother is bitter (which wasnt my mothers case) that STILL does not excuse his absence…..because i dont care if I have to fight a bear..NOTHING is gonna keep me from being apart of my childs life…there is no excuse

By: Nojma

Nojma — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 17:28:47 +0000

@Hoodgirl thank you for sharing! My book is going to print next month, and my website should be up as well, so everything will be available the end of the month, if you don’t mind you can email me at nojmareflects@yahoo.com and that way I can keep your info so I can let you know when the book is ready. Thank you wanting to purchase the book, that means a lot to me!

By: hoodgirl

hoodgirl — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 17:21:51 +0000

I shared this article with my cousin and he loved it to the inth degree. Congratulations on your book. How can I purchase hard copies?

By: Nojma

Nojma — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:35:53 +0000

@Mack, as you know I am self publishing, and the books will go to print next month! I am also going to have e-books available as well as hard copies. I am excited, it’s a nervous excitement lolol but I am ready to get my book out there, and I already ready working on book number two, lol but we shall see what happens with book number one first lol

By: Nojma

Nojma — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 16:34:13 +0000

Peace Family! On my personal facebook page,I post and dialog about Black Male/Female relationships, and the conversation gets very interesting. Whenever Brothers voice their hurt, pain and dissatisfaction, some Sister with a Masters Degree in Deflection will come along, and say things like “well to all black men who complain you hate your mothers”, so I’m like if we use that FLAWED logic, then do all Black Women who complain hate their fathers? Most of the hatred that is spewed towards black women on my page are from women who have SONS. I am like whoa! You have a son and you hate black men like that? I have a son and I couldn’t imagine talking about Black Men in a certain manner, because as Mother I have the responsibility to set a certain tone, and if I want my son to see Black Women in a certain light, he has to see me in a certain light FIRST, and regarding my daughters, whatever woman I want them to become, I have to first BE that type of woman. I mean, our children watch everything, what we say, but most importantly what we DO. The sad part is, there are so many of us that are hurt, but refuse healing, and we just pass our hurt to our children and that’s unfair to them.

By: naturally

naturally — Fri, 22 Jun 2012 00:57:27 +0000

Great article. This message is much needed. During girls night out, the toic that always arises is. Why do our son’s grow uo to prefer other woman who are not black. My response has been that: as black women and mothers, we rarely show them anything preferable. Our sons see us most often, raising hell, cursing non stop, revolving doors on our bedrooms and trying to dig for gold. That’s enough to run our own sons away and it is sad. We have to be better as woman since we want better men and sons.

By: Mack

Mack — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 18:17:32 +0000

Sister Nojma, you never cease to amaze me! So much said in so few words. Poignant, profound, and poetically purposeful! Keep it coming. And let us know when that book is coming…

By: sankofa

sankofa — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 14:02:22 +0000

@G. James Palmer…in my city the family courts are filled with scores of stereotypical white trash and ghetto hood rat baby mothers ( I say stereotypical) yet the prevailing theme, even from the “white trash” baby mama’s with knee-grow baby fathers, is the difference in the level of antagonism, attitude and straight up venom that seems to exist on our side of the fence. So many of these knee-grow female seemed to be spoiling for a fight, even when the father cared enough to try and be a factor in his child’s life.

It just shows that in this society, the Caucasian male even the more decrepit ones still occupy a position and image of respect than the African male. Thus we become subject to the type of hatred-not just disrespect- from our supposed compliment, that my sister wrote about.

By: G. James Palmer

G. James Palmer — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 02:19:02 +0000

This is a very good and well thought out article. I sometimes wonder if its only black men who are absentee fathers. The way this is propagated in various publications one would get the impression that this only happens to black fathers. I am still trying to understand why some of our women are so bitter and hateful…when you feed the children with this sort of venom they are scarred for life…and in many cases end up in disastrous relationships in their adult years and so the cycle continues. Many, many good men have literally had to run away from their homes because of the constant abuse by the spouse or partner who in turn fills the children with hatred and contempt for the father who would still be there had she been less of a brute…Excellent and Sobering Article