Obviously, I’ve grown up; the things I’ve heard both good and bad about President Reagan since are utterly amazing to me, almost as amazing as if someone had described unassuming Grandfather Mathews in the same terms. He seems to be either cast as Savior of the (free) World or the Destroyer of all things designed to help those poor and especially Black. With the exception of this comment, I tend to avoid the arguments back and forth; the subject is too emotionally fraught for me.

But today as I was thinking on this article, and reflecting on the vast differences between the lives of President Reagan and Grandfather Mathews (who were approximately the same age), I struck upon the greatest commonalities, and the greatest differences. Both men cared deeply about and would do whatever they had to do for what they conceived of as their “family” — Grandfather’s struggles as a Black man just come to California way back in the day were at least as difficult in degree as President Reagan presiding over the end stages of the Cold War. Both men were victorious, vindicated, and revered in the eyes of those that mattered to them. The difference: Ronald Reagan, like many white men of his day (and ANY day since the Greek designated the entire rest of the world as “barbarians”), conceived of the American “family” as white — and for that family he would face down the other most powerful nation on earth, and in that we all share the benefits. Yet, in that conception, non-whites are at best guests and servants in the “family home,” welcomed only so long as they mind their place and follow house rules set up solely for the benefit of the “family.” Now I remember two things about Grandfather and HIS family home; nothing or no one that was going to bring drama into the space was tolerated in the space while his grandchildren were around, and that he spent his energy on us when we were there — nothing else seemed to be important, for he had to marshal his remaining energies carefully. All that was very well and good, and I love Grandfather to this day for it. But the way a dying Black elder runs his personal household in terms of his small family may not translate well to running a diverse country of 250,000,000 or so full citizens (in those days); the domestic decision-making for a president has to be far more expansive and inclusive to be of greatest benefit to everyone.

And that is where I will leave it. I have fond memories of President Reagan because he reminded me so much of Grandfather in his glories, but in long retrospect, President Reagan shared also in Grandfather’s limitations, only stretched out in a domestic sphere in which the problems for those not conceived of as “family” have left a bitter legacy for many. I still miss my grandfather, and I half-expect to see President Reagan smiling in the Oval Office at any time, to this day. But in terms of unsullied legacy, Grandfather stands alone…