Comments on: If What Black Men Say is True, I’m A White Woman…

By: Jay

Jay — Tue, 25 Feb 2014 02:01:53 +0000

Its true! At least 85% of black women in America aren’t shit when it comes to the black man. And black women living just above the poverty line or below it are nothing but the fucking anti-Christ to the black man!! All this M.A.C. make up wanting to look white or lighter basically, Ugly ass weaves showing us you are still ashamed of your hair after all these years. Funny I read this today because the craziest thing happened to me today. I spoke to two women just being friendly. No intention at all at ‘macking’ on them. Anyway, the first was a Blonde hair nice looking white woman hopping out a CLK 500! I spoke. She spoke back politely with even a little more conversation or small talk. Bear in mind that I’m in one of the most racist states in the south, SC.

I leave and not even 15 minutes later I say hello to a Black Woman sitting at a bus stop waiting for a city bus and she gave me the ugliest up and down look with that bullshit attitude smirk on her lips like I just disrespected her or something. She said something I think but once her body language said all that other shit I continued walking even faster. I should’ve smacked that ill-mannered hoe down with all honesty but as always I remembered black bitches like this are the biggest reason for the black man’s fall in America!! Today I vow never to date another black Woman from America! American black women are only concerned with how much money you got, how good you dress , what you can do for them etc ect Fuck y’all!! Materialistic as hell. Money, Money, Money!!! And if you find one that’s not like that that doesn’t weigh in at over 200lbs and is actually attractive then you hit the mega-million and you better marry her!! These black women are so vain nowadays it doesn’t make since.

Then wonder why black men are killing each other everyday. Hell just to afford these black women nowadays you better be robbing people on the side of your 9 to 5 lol. Black Women got the term Queen misconstrued. They think being a queen is all about being pampered and showered with gifts which is true.. HOWEVER, That’s the ONLY part they see as Queens. Not the Queen who is able to run the kingdom if their King falls ill financially. Yea, these black women nowadays will run the kingdom alright smh. If only we could revive real women from the 50’s, 60’s 70’s back …

By: For Real

For Real — Mon, 24 Feb 2014 02:54:45 +0000

The reality of the situation is, the men in question are simply WEAK!!! Weak in every sense of the word. I know the men of which this woman writes about, I’ve encountered their kind in my travels, and no doubt I was raised along side quite a few of them. Taking the statement for face value does tend to make one believe that the man’s preference may be white women, but the reality is that man has a preference for weak women (and not all white women fit the bill) because he is a weak man. If he was raised by; and has been exposed to strong women all of his life, he may not be mentality prepared to handle what comes with dealing with strong women (of any color)!!!

By: Roy ramirez

Roy ramirez — Sun, 23 Feb 2014 15:48:32 +0000

Its never about color, is the up bringing…. What he said about black woman only apply to black girls from the hood.

By: Karina

Karina — Sat, 14 Dec 2013 05:30:22 +0000

“If you are a man who believes that all black women are angry, aggressive loud mouths that want nothing more than to prevent you from being a man, maybe it’s time you looked in the mirror. The question is not whether you are comforted by characteristics that only exist in women with white skin. The question is whether white skin is the only characteristic that comforts you. If the latter is true, date whomever you wish and Godspeed. Just please stop using black women as scapegoats to justify your hidden desires, because for a man of character and substance, every woman in the world, every race, every nationality- according to your description, is white.”

AMEN!!!

By: Marcius E. Chester

Marcius E. Chester — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 17:31:17 +0000

I read and reread this article and understand what a lot of you are saying.
First of all do you love yourself. If you do color should not mean anything to you men or women.
Attitude is not a women’s thing. Men have attitude problems also. Find someone that will stand by your side through the good and bad times. People have to grow up and stop look and listen to their heart. The world is a big melting pot so why should you limit yourself to one nationality. As long as you’re comfortable in you’re own skin and love, respect each other. Who cares what other people think. The world has evolved a great deal from the days or living in craves etc. Do not let a few bad apples spoil the rest that are still waiting to be picked. The world over has different kinds of fruit. It’s up to you to go out and find what you like. Remember in all relationships you have to have God in you’re life with love, trust, communication.
God Bless
Marcius E. Chester
Van Nuys, CA

By: Deeann D. Mathews

Deeann D. Mathews — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 10:10:54 +0000

Clicked “submit” a bit too early… but I was about to wind up by saying this: it is much easier for a brother to make that distinction — “SOME Black women are not what I need them to be, but not all” — if the woman to whom he is sharing his feelings shows that she IS a representative of those sisters who can hear his frustration and pain with some understanding and acceptance of how he feels, and some ability to express acknowledgement and concern before leaping to correction. We are quick to want to jump to “the facts,” but the fact is this: a man who feels like a woman is not hearing him when he shares what is on his heart — who ignores the FACT of his hurt and pain in her haste to defend herself — is not going to be interested in any of her facts. Effective communication requires actually listening to, understanding, and acknowledging what the other person is saying and feeling BEFORE responding — and if there is any group of people that need to learn this, it is surely Black folks. From this article and several others, and also several other conversations and strands of reading, I know that Black men, good, intelligent Black men, are hurting just as Black women are — they may not always be expressing their hurt in a tactful way, but if we as Black women are going to effectively communicate our love and support, we first have to hear, understand, and acknowledge what is being said before we jump to defending ourselves. And vice versa, but the case here is a Black man expressing himself to a Black woman. What we as women say next is critical to our futures.

By: Deeann D. Mathews

Deeann D. Mathews — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 09:52:17 +0000

I come almost a year late to this article, tired after a long and interesting week of work with constituents including a variety of intelligent Black men. My conclusion:

1. A lot of Black men are dealing with a lot of disrespect from a lot of Black women.

2. A lot of Black men are also dealing with “the grass may be greener on the other side of the fence” syndrome, but that is human nature when things on your side are not going as you would like.

3. A lot of Black men are looking for a Black woman who can at least hear the pain they are expressing without immediately going into defense mode.

The use of the word “some,” liberally sprinkled in the words of the brother quoted above, might have spared a lot of offense. No Black person wants to be compared unfavorably with the race that has done so much, historically speaking, to make us seem inferior — the brother was not showing any tact at all. But, to me, that indicates that within him there was a situation of pain and hurt going on that was so deep that he couldn’t find a way to soften it, and was hoping that he would be understood by his one friend. We all have our moments: this is where what our friends do next really count. By the same token, if Black men are expressing their pain and frustration to us, what we as Black women do next really counts.

One friend of mine comes to mind. He is a good Black brotha, honorable, devoted to the community, and as kind and gentle as he is mighty in character and abilities. He is also a perfect Christian gentleman: I doubt he would ever be so rude as to get up in a Black woman’s face and not qualify his displeased remarks about her and all of her peers. But this does not mean he does not have his moments of deep frustration with some of the Black women he has to deal with. I know this because I have seen him under pressure; I have seen the majority of Black women just expect him to give and give and give when working on projects with him, but to do very little in return when he needs something. I know this because I am often the one who will go the extra mile and get some things done that he needs done, or just check in with him to see how everything is … and will listen quietly when he expresses his anger, his exhaustion, his sense of being taken advantage of. Now he is a gentleman to the highest degree; he does not name names or point fingers, and he does not make comparisons, but in substance, he might not disagree entirely with the expression of the brother except to add the word “SOME” to the general portrayal of Black women above. But one thing is for certain:

By: Mack

Mack — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 02:11:30 +0000

Interesting article.

But nothing in this article takes into account the fact that 70% of all divorces in black or white marriages are filed by WOMEN in this country: not men. So brothers are stepping up to the plate. Truth is, when it comes to sisters who are truly marriage material the pickings are extremely slim.

This has nothing to do with hating oneself or any of the other excuses sisters use to deflect from the truth as to why so many brothers marry outside their race.

Marriage is indeed a learned behavior. But if the woman you’re attempting to marry comes from a background where:

* no male template existed to pattern a healthy respectful relationship after

* she grew up observing and hearing her own mother and aunts talking greasy about her father;

* she’s surrounded by women on all sides who also chose to ‘go it alone’ and do the single-independent-mom thing;

* she’s bombarded with TV shows, music and so-called literature that champion female whorish behavior (Ghetto novels);

* and the only men she’s been exposed to on the regular are the subpar type such as the one her own mother chose to lay with the night she was conceived

…for a man to attempt to have a remotely healthy relationship with a woman like this, he must be prepared to endure the impossible. I’m not even sure if Jesus would even be up for the task! And we’re not even talking about the sisters with kids before they turn 21 or the ones who have allowed obesity to take over their bodies.

What man, black, white, or striped is gonna sign up for that?! Its often easier to get with women of another race because they carry less emotional hindrances and baggage as it relates to creating a healthy relationship.

Until more sisters are willing to heal, forgive themselves for making poor choices as well as the men they allowed into their orbit who may have hurt them, I predict they will continue to remain where they are: of low marriageability.

This isn’t for every sister. Many do have their minds and bodies right. The problem with them is they’re such a hot commodity that they don’t stay single for long, and they’re few and far between. So the decent guys are left to deal with the average type as mentioned above, or seek solace outside the race; which many choose to do.

By: Mr. Quincy

Mr. Quincy — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 22:33:52 +0000

It’s stupid to stereotype anybody. You can’t lump people in one big box, slap a label on it, and say anything about it worth saying. I know plenty of ghetto (trailer?) ass white women who act a fool on a regular basis and plenty of upstanding black women that I’m glad to have had in my life.

That said, a lot of these comments are as ignorant as the comment the author posted above. Someone said earlier that the majority of Soul Brothers who get married do so with Sisters. There is no epidemic of black men believing as the brother quoted in this story that black women aren’t worth being with or some shit like that. It’s counter-factual. Also, every time you see a brother with a white woman it doesn’t mean that he has anything against black women at all. Maybe he really did just fall in love unexpectedly. As hard as it is in this world to find somebody worth finding, it is insane to me to deliberately restrict your dating pool to one class of people.

However, I can see why SOME black men only date white women. Some of them are the kind of square dude that couldn’t attract a black woman if he bathed in negro pheromones from concentrate. (Tiger Woods) Montel Williams fits into this category. I remember when a black woman stood up while Montel was in the audience taking questions and asked him why he never dated black women. After looking uncomfortable, he shrugged his shoulders and said that before he became famous, he could always get a date with a white woman, but couldn’t even BUY a date with a black woman. Now they all want to date him. WTF?!? Denis Rodman said the same thing to Oprah. She promised to never have him back on her show because of that.

Some of them are so ugly (Lamar Odom, Lebron James) no decent black woman would have them if they were broke. Like Denis Rodman they probably couldn’t get a date with a black woman in high school during their formative years. But no matter how geeky, straight lace, ugly, broke, stupid or otherwise a hot mess they could always get a date with white women some of whom were fine.

They’re just sticking with their bread and butter. The only reason any of you are complaining about it is because these men are successful. If a jet, pitch, and crispy broke-ologist brother were standing at the bus stop with a vanilla woman and five cappuccino babies, you’d all be saying good riddance to his decrepit, dilapidated, destitute black ass. This is not to say black women are any more money-grubbing than any other kind of woman. There are plenty of gold digging white women running around. I’m just saying, why swim up hill? Date whoever finds you attractive that you’re into and stop worrying about some brother that you probably wouldn’t dig anyway. And god damn it, broaden your horizons.

I’m a brother that loves all women. I take ’em 18 to 50, white, yellow, red, brown, and crispy. Out of my two best girlfriends one was Asian and the other was so black at sunset she turned invisible and at daybreak you couldn’t tell her from my shadow. I loved them both. Too bad it didn’t work out.

Life is like that sometimes.

By: AMCIrvin

AMCIrvin — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 14:36:31 +0000

I know I am late to the party, but I do have to come to the defense of Black women. I am white, but I live in a very mixed community as far as ethnicity and class. I work in a grocery store and I have hundreds and thousands of people come through my lines. It is easy to overlook the sweet, well educated, kind, and mild mannered women that come through your line. I have seen far more black women that are not angry, bitter, and food stamp brandishing welfare queens than people that have those characteristics. I have seen plenty of people of paler skin behave like miserable, malcontent, and mean fools that are just as disrespectful and clueless with the entitlement programs.

It is easy to forget about all the black women I look forward to seeing every day over the crazy ones that the media embraces so fully. Not because I see people of a darker complexion as me in such a way, but because people who treat you like crap stick into your mind.

Every race has women who are mean and bitter. White women are just as bitter and angry at men. I have read articles from feminists that demean and degrade women (who are probably all white in their minds) for being stay at home moms. Women who love and respect men are under attack, but where white women get a more balanced view from the media, black women are usually portrayed as bitter, angry man-eaters. It isn’t fair to all the wonderful, beautiful women in this country. It pains me that it effects Black Women so handedly.

I wish you all find happiness and someone who will love, respect, and cherish you.