Comments on: Contrary to popular belief, Yes Black Relationships…

By: OriginalMan

OriginalMan — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 21:03:09 +0000

I am impressed with the wisdom you just shared young brotha. You gave some factual and valid points as it pertains to how we project ourselves to each other and in turn what we end up attracting. I did not understand this concept myself until i was well into my late twenties. By that time i told myself i will not compromise my character and self worth to gain the attention of women who are not worth a damn. It seems as though people tend to choose style over substance; overlooking a person’s character, how he treats others to go along with his self projection. But in all you tend to attract more of the type of person that you are and how you present yourself. And if you dont like neither than change what it is that’s not working for you to get better results.

By: Eleanie

Eleanie — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 22:01:18 +0000

I have been thinking about this same topic lately. I really believe that so much of this starts at home. What are we teaching our children (those of age) when it comes to the topic of love, dating, mating, courting and preparing ourselves to be good husbands and wives.

I am not saying that we need to push this down their throat at an early age. But we tend to only have this conversation when they are good, grown and old. Perhaps we should begin talking to our children about what makes a man or woman a good mate. Possibly when they start dating.

By: TheTruthNow

TheTruthNow — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 19:51:53 +0000

Most black men know by age 16 that being a thug will get you some women, especailly black women. Many black guys who are decent men either change over to being trifling bum thugs in irder to attract black women or they will leave black women alone and go after nonblack women. This is a twisted psyche many black women have adopted, which is thug love. Many black women only want a good black man after they’re in their thirties, have whored around for years, have multiple children with multiple men, and have been used up and dieased up. But by then it’s often too late and those men are not available.

By: James

James — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 16:29:55 +0000

Brad:

Great article an very on point. Another aspect that specifically; black men & women do not pay attention to is (self-perception and self-esteem); an indirect/direct reflection of a person via, image, material stuff, $$$$, etc. etc. These dynamics tend to also project a false image of self which, a lot of women attract to, more so than the 9 to 5 man (“nice guy”).

From personal experiences in life, the military, college, and now here on my job:
*****(A lot of black women look at my VA/Government ID and se $$$$$; b4 they’ll even look me in the eyes)*****(SAD AS S**T)
however, a lot of these same women wear little or nothing in public and it’s a turn off for me; don’t get me wrong “I like a fat booty and juicey lips on a black woman too” yet, its all about personality and self-esteem as well because the bottom line revolves around “HOW I TREAT< RESPECT< LOVE< and; VALUE" (ME)!!!!!

I've had my share of all types of women (professional here at the VA where I work, 'hoochies','honeys', 'black women', 'chicas', etc. etc. etc.) however, I also look at several questions that black men & women really need to ask themselves 'individually':

(1). What attracts to me?

(2). What do I attract to?

(3). Am I marriage material?

(4). Is the other person marriage material?

(5). Do I value my mate more than myself?

(6). Does my mate value me more than him/herself?

These 6 questions usually lead to a very deep 'inner' search to get to the root of individual issues but, if the issues are never addressed then, the same self-destructive behavior patterns will continue, regardless of the type of relationship, and/or preferences of the individual.

The other old saying to back up "nice guys finish last" is; "hurt people hurt other people". . . . .

Thanks.

James.