Why is it that certain groups of women have no problem walking away, whereas another has been breed to persevere as if loving a man is supposed to be hard? To hear men tell it, they don’t want the bitches, they hate the hoes, and they think the Spartans should take the pants off and let the males wear them. But when you look at power couples in the past twenty years, you see that great men select from that pool, and the nice women are left struggling with lesser men. I’ve talked to enough of these “this too shall pass” chicks where I can now point to one similarity. They believe in Soulmates like a 6 year old believes in the Easter Bunny.

This idea of a soulmate, one person that you are meant to be with is magical, hopeful, and comforting. It’s also misleading, blinding, and dangerous. The average person relies on some kind of faith to get through tough times. Everyone will go through heartbreak, and the easiest cure for being rejected or abandoned is to remind yourself “They weren’t the one for me, my soulmate is coming.” That hope makes you get out of bed and push through the pain. When your friends or family gives you advice, they all regurgitate the same thing, “He wasn’t the one, baby girl, have faith.” Married people will confirm that they are with who they were meant to be, even those who were divorced and remarried will stand firm in this belief that you eventually get it right due to some grand design. So by this logic, the person you broke up with was just one person on the road to your soulmate, and you can take comfort in the fact that you will eventually meet that person. This type of optimism that allows you to move forward and dry your eyes is awesome… but here’s the fucked up part.

When you sip that soulmate Kool-Aid your entire life, you get impatient and you get paranoid: You date and date and date, but nothing happens. You meet a handful of great guys, but they don’t want what you want. Next thing you know, you’re deep in your 20s or entering your 30s and you’re starting to second guess this soulmate shit. “Damn, maybe Victor from 12th grade was my soulmate and I missed out… Oh shit, if I missed out on my true soulmate, then I’m destined to settle! I’m single because I was too dumb to notice that Vic the asshole who tried to fuck my cousin just needed a second chance!” This line of thinking may sound exaggerated, but it’s a real life concern.

People are so afraid that they missed out or that they will miss out on “the chosen one” that they get desperate, and when women get desperate they become vulnerable. A woman who has taken the wait route as opposed to the Spartan take route will begin to panic with each passing birthday. That woman will then force the next appealing nigga into that mythical soulmate box. I’ve heard too many sob stories about, “he felt right, we connected, and I know he was my soulmate.” That nigga felt about as right as any above average dude with good conversation and better dick skills, feels. Your love sick mind was so open to this magical idea of a dick of destiny that you ignored the facts of the relationship in favor of some assumed fate.

? ? ?