Great reply and good points on this topic. It is true that “choice’ is an individual thing; not a group, peer pressure, and/or ethnic/gendr issue because if the choices are and do be made based on these and other factors; then there would be a lot more crime and other issues related to the current socioeconomic state of the black community.

Like Jay-Z; I grew up and learned from my experiences which, made me focus on what (and who) I was at that point. Drug & Alcohol abuse, jails, loosing jobs, money, and living spaces, etc. etc. etc. The list is endless yet, I favored changing my view of my situation and circumstances which in turn, made me change my view of SELF.

Sure, I cried “victim” and blamed the white man, military, government, and other people, places, things, situations/circumatances,***(PTSD from combat operations I experienced during my military tenure at Ft. Bragg, NC— Grenada Invasion 1983 & the Persian Gulf War 1991, social & military racism, etc. etc. etc.)***

However, ONLY with the GRACE & MERCY of GOD have I been pulled out of my bottomless pit (mentally, emotionally, spitiually, physically); to the current state of my daily life, to wit: I’m currently employed by Dept. of Veterans Affairs–VA Hospital-Miami, Engineering Department; over 13 years “Clean & Sober 1 day at a time”; engaged to be married; 16 months left until I get my B.S Psychology-Substance Abuse; various financial investments and retirement accounts for the “long haul” of life.

So, abuse covers a ton of ground and variables yet, the issue can and does get changed with support groups, therapy, and/or community resources within the black community, as well as other entities however, I just wish a lot of black men & women would quit making excuses, blaming, and settling for less; whether in a current or past abusive relationships, regardless of a specific type of abuse. ‘Been there done that’ and from what “Big Mamma” used to say daily (GOD DON’T LIKE UGLY); meaning: an ugly heart, spirit, mind, and emotional state; not how we look).

It all starts and ends with SELF!!!

Thanks.

James.

Also, there are many attributes that contribute to one’s mental state. If one has enough support, he/she has more of a chance to develop a positive outside view.