I don’t need a real man to show me what I’m worth, because I already knew before I got involved with this lunatic. I already knew when the church said “hurry up” and get married cause of “No sex before marriage accountability.” My father showed me my self worth and if you think that a women needs a man to show her, then you are sadly mistaken. Maybe you need to look at yourself and the kind of “advice” that you are giving to women, that just seems to be inadequate. The church oppresses women and I know that Juanita Bynum agrees with me, as she knows first hand, what it’s like for people not to come in her defense as a Survivor of Domestic Violence and waited until “it was PC” to say anything about her horrible marriage.

And just for the record, your saying that I should write about Domestic Violence…I am a Grammy Nominated Artist who has already written a song about it, which everyone has listened too.

Please get your facts straight before you comment on a topic you know absolutely nothing about…submission, you don’t have a clue. It would be helpful for all of us. I’ll pray that God sees through you…

I hate that you were a victim of domestic violence and that someone that claimed to be a man of God hurt you and twisted the word of God to manipulate you. I also know that there are people and churches that are not operating by the word of God and do not walk in Love. No, I do not know what you have been through, but I know that there are many that do. If you want someone to write about domestic violence, then YOU should do it. It seems to be something that you have a passion for and a lot of people could be touched by a passionate article.

I also want to say that if you have any anger or strife towards anyone in your past concerning domestic violence, you have to forgive them. That’s not from me that’s from the word of God (Matt. 5:44). I pray that you are no longer at that church that gave you bad advice either. Please, do not let your past experiences make you feel bad toward men. Not all men are out to hurt and lie to you. Not all churches are bad. I’m glad that you have Jesus and even though I haven’t been through what you have I have Jesus too.

If you really are a Christian, you will continue to walk in Love and forgiveness. I am all about uplifting men and women of God. Sometimes it may come off strong, but it is only meant to help and not condemn or harm. Iron sharpens iron. We have to keep each other sharp and strong. Submitting to each other is just that. I pray that a real man of God finds you and shows you what you are really worth (Proverbs 18:22) (Proverbs 31). I Love you. God bless you sister.

This universe has oppressed women from the beginning of time with this thinking. I love Jesus more than anyone on this planet. But if your single, then you do not know about marriage or anything about “true submission.” You should submit to yourself first and not “follow a man.” You should follow GOD and your instincts. Instead of following my instincts, I “followed a man,” and I almost lost my life because of it.

You should try and discuss the issue of “Domestic Violence” that occurs in the church and the immorality of Pastors molesting our children. All of you should think about that and talk to your churches about coming clean about Abuse…that’s what all of you should be submitting to and then write a column of a topic that you know about.

I said in my article that there are several issues that could be keeping some women single. I chose to speak on submission because so many women feel like that is a bad word, so it needed addressing. I did not bypass the responsibilities of the man. I merely focused on the female because a woman has the power to positively effect a man’s decisions. When she submits it brings the BEST out of him if he is a good man. I know that he must be submitted to her just as strongly, but she has so much more power in that area. Many women do not tap into that power, because they feel that it is degrading in some ways.

I agree with you in that a woman can help him with his physical/financial health. That’s not a 3rd rail issue for me. I know a woman can give EXCELLENT advice. That’s what you are anointed to do. I even put a woman’s perspective in the video.

I also do not place it all on the women. I have probably been more guilty of placing it all on the men. What with all of the fatherless homes, poor church attendance, sagging pants etc…As a matter of fact I hold what happened in the Garden of Eden more against Adam than Eve, because Adam knew better and Eve did not. So Adam could have stopped the serpent, but failed.

I know women want security and I feel that there are great men out there that can provide just that. I know that a lot more could be written in this article, but it wasn’t meant to go in-depth. I would have to produce a much longer article or book to truly expound on this issue. Thanks for reading and responding. It is appreciated.

Thank you for your comments, but I just want to speak on a few things. A portion of your post asked…..

“Is it okay for a woman to go to work, come home, clean house, take care of children, cook, satisfy the needs of her husband etc while the husband only works? There is nothing right about that picture.”

I understand some of your frustration, but it’s not all on the wife. While there are some households in which women do work a 9 to 5 and do housework, there remain some that do not. Also, it is unfair to only speak on the tasks that women have at home and not mention those that the man has as well. For example, mowing lawn, home maintenance, car repairs, many outside or yard work duties, cleaning gutters, mulch, household construction projects, furniture building/moving and things of that nature. Also, there are men that cook as well. I know women who do not cook at all as their husband is a chef and prefers to cook. There are many different relationships. Many men also grill, which is more common among guys than ladies. So you see, there are things for the man to do in the household as well and men DO in fact share household responsibilities. When I was coming up my dad did all of those things and I would assist as well. My mom didn’t do those tasks, she did the things that you mentioned in your post. Both the husband and the wife have duties at home and at their respective 9 to 5.

I also want to speak to the statement of a man having a mission. I agree that a man must have a mission in order for a woman to submit. I have had women at my church say the same thing. I did briefly mention in the article that a woman should only submit to her husband. You can read below.

“This conversation however, opened my eyes to the power that a woman holds when she submits to her HUSBAND (not boyfriend or someone she is dating). When she operates in the spirit of meekness, she operates in unlimited power.”

I know its brief as this is only an article and I cannot expound on every concept of this topic. That would require a book on this subject. Anyway, that statement simply means that if a woman has deemed a man fit for marriage then he should be a man with a mission and vision. Why would a woman marry a man with no vision? That is why I placed that statement in the article. Again, I know it was brief, but it still speaks volumes. She should not be dating, courting, and generally being in a relationship with a man until he has proven himself spiritually. She must determine this BEFORE marriage. So, it somewhat went without saying that he must be on the right track with God before becoming a husband.

Lastly, the man that I mentioned in this article does have a mission. As I was using him as an example of the caliber man that a woman should submit to. A leader, provider, man of prayer, etc…Thanks again for your comments. God bless!

Thank you for those scriptures sir! They are all very important aspects of Love, especially charity to one another. I agree wholeheartedly! Also, I just want to say that the ENTIRE theme of the Bible is Love! I was just writing on one aspect of it and could not go into detail in just one article. But as you said, Love is the most important thing. Thank you for reading.

Li I just wanted to say you hit the nail on the head with your comment below.

“I don’t think it’s about women embracing the traditional role of a woman, however, before a woman can submit, the man MUST have mission for the woman to submit to. How can a woman follow a man when the man does not have the vision he needs to lead his wife and family. Give the woman something to submit to and the woman will submit. Lets talk about that. The man’s role is to lead, provide, ect, okay….IF he is not in position, ten there is no mission and therefore there could be no submission.”

13And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

If we are to do GOD commandments and HIS GOODNESS, we must be motivated and the only thing that can perpetually motivate us is the energy of AGAPE LOVE from GOD. Just as the sin nature and hate can motivate us to do evil, AGAPE LOVE will motivate us to do GOD’s righteousness as per se the act of submission in a relationship. In short, it is growing spiritually with the second phase of salvation called santification and with AGAPE LOVE as the leading factor. Without a strong maturity growth in sanctification it is impossible to overcome the sin nature.Please read ( Romans 7: 14-25 )( Jn.15:14-15 )

You spoke of LOVE in your article, however, you did not deal with the importance of it. All the primary factors that are involved in being married such as AGAPE LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, COMMUNICATION, TRUST, COMMITMENT, AND SUBMISSION are gestalt ( that is, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts ) with the exception of AGAPE LOVE.AGAPE LOVE is a virtue from GOD that stands alone. AGAPE LOVE IS THE GREATEST GIFT.

I concur and echo most of the sentiments expressed in your post!