2. Complex question. I do know that there are some Black men that are taking advantage of the sistas financially, sexually, and every other way; I hear the stories and I see the aftermath. But I find it hard to make the broad statement… I just know too many good brothas who are holding it down for their families and their larger areas of responsibility.

3. Black love has survived the past 400 years, and it will continue to survive and thrive. It may not be as easy to find, but then again, all treasures take a little searching for…

4. We can combat negative images by not going to movies and otherwise taking in media made by people that have been portraying us as savages for 400 years. We can get about the business of doing things with one another for the betterment of the community — nothing increases respect and companionship like doing good things together. Among these works, we can create our own media to enjoy — we live in the age of the Internet and other high technology, so there really is no excuse to be poisoning ourselves through entertainment. We can challenge ourselves to help our friends who spread negative energy about their relationships by connecting them with resources that will help — and let them know, kindly but firmly, that we are not going to be the dumping ground for drama they aren’t taking steps to fix, nor for their bitterness. We can hold each other accountable for the attitudes we express about one another, and for making sure we are being the best we can be toward other.

5. The brotha I am thinking of is basically the Barack Obama of gospel music in my hometown, holding down a vast area of responsibility and influence on behalf of the total community. I had long admired him from a very respectful distance until I needed some big-time help, both professionally and in understanding the personal adjustments one has to make in dealing with big-time change. Sometimes one has to go straight to the top, so I found my courage and a time when he was between projects to introduce myself. I confessed that I was totally intimidated and felt uncomfortable even bothering him. He smiled gently, and said, “Don’t be, sister. I’ll do everything I can for you. Here is my number… ” He kept his word, even through a time of grief and suffering that came to him, and I came through my big changes on top because of the efforts and support of this powerful brotha! His continued encouragement and the occasional gentle command to keep working on some things I’d sometimes rather drop has given me confidence and fortitude to aim for far higher levels in many other aspects of my life — so, he not only touched my soul, but has spurred an “upgrade” in my life!

6. Yeah, I know there isn’t a sixth question, but I’ll just offer this for thought: this same brotha told me once, as I expressed my deep appreciation, “At least SOMEBODY appreciates me!” That hurt me SO bad… I knew he was stressing because of what he was going through, and getting pulled in all kinds of extra directions by equally stressed people, but I know the work he does on the regular for the community, and the fact is that he is often taken for granted. He rarely complains… but the hurt was there, waiting to burst out the moment one person broke the trend! It bothers me to think that there may be a lot of good brothas out there that hold a lot of stuff down but feel, when the chips are down, that nobody appreciates their efforts. One thing, therefore, might enhance Black love a great deal… we sistas can let the brothas know, as often as possible, that what they do for us and for the community is appreciated. That word love gets thrown around… but there are both words and deeds that can show appreciation, gratitude, and reciprocal concern. Even the most brilliant caring brothas need to know, apparently, so imagine how the good brothas whose gifts are less often recognized need our good words and actions!

2. No. Honestly I don’t think so. What I do think is that women (us) take the actions of a few and project it onto the whole demographic. Outside of YouTube every black man I meet still holds the door, says “hello”, and has helped me out of snow banks. Maybe my city just has the best black men-GO CLEVELAND!

3. That depends on the premium we put on it. I place a very high premium on black couples, just like I do black businesses and neighborhoods. Nothing is wrong with IR couples and their kids but I’m not about to act their they’re a supplement or deserve the same premium (or distinction) as a black family to the black community.

4. Realize that “black” isn’t something that needs validation and stop asking other blacks to live for our insecurities. Some black men/women will never be happy with a black partner because it’s just not good enough.

5. One very successful man who was way out of my league. He was a client of my old employer and it was absolutely NO romantic resemblance. He owned (still does) a independent distribution company. He was attractive and smart but it was that fact that he was always nice to me. Bought me lunch, always gave me CDs and let me borrow movies, bought my turtle food, birthday gifts and wishes, and never passed up the opportunity to get my opinion on anything from his shirt to the real estate bubble. I respected him and aside from my father, this was the first time I had met a man that made me want to be a good friend and person. He is married last year and he sent me an invitation along with a $100 gift card to Petsmart.

2. We both have abused one another. We all need to take responsibility. To validate that we have abused one another, we can look to oral stories and books written by our people, where our men were taken away in slavery, and our women raped by the white man. and when the black man wanted to protect his woman he will be physically abused or killed and vice versa. We have held on to the mind set, we seen by our masters of abuse, time to change the cycle.

3.Yes we czn thrive as long as we strive and stride in the 21st century. I am a champion until the end of time for black love. Join me in the fight.

4.We can combat the current view of us by changing the picture and being examples of black love and black love is not just between lovers, it’s how we treat each other as a whole. Black man love black woman-your sister, mother, co-worker, daughter, niece, aunt, grand-mother, etc. Black woman love black man-your father, grand-father, co-worker, friend, lover, uncle, brother, nephew, etc.

5.Don’t know what love you’re speaking about but I’ve felt deep love from my brother, a black brother and the last two relationships although I am not currently in them, in retrospect, they loved deeply in the seen and unseen world.

1. I am not mad at Black men. Many of the professional Black women I know aren’t. We share the same sentiment in that we are hurting. Rarely do we see positive images of Black women, nor do we see images of Black Love on television or in movies. It is assumed that we are no longer the object of desire for Black men.

2. I do not feel Black men have abused Black women, but I also do not feel that we are uplifted either. I think Black women feel as though we are constantly being bombarded with negative images and stereotypes, and nothing is being said or done to help us combat them. Instead, it seems as though some Black men choose to perpetuate these stereotypes. For example, google “Black Men” or “Black Women,” and what will you get? The two N’s: Negativity and Nonsense.

To be fair, I must also say that some Black women must stop stereotyping and demonizing Black men. This question can be posed to both groups, as there are some Black men and Black women who go about their days simply bashing their counterparts, whether it’s at the salon or barbershop, or via the web. It is truly sad.

3. I do believe it is possible for Black Love to survive. I’m not exactly sure why we have to ask ourselves why don’t some of us date or marry outside of our race. Contrary to certain stereotypes, as a Black woman, I have nothing against interracial dating or marriage. I believe when love is genuine and sincere, it is a powerful thing regardless of who you are. However, I also believe when one finds love, comfort, and happiness with someone within their race, it is also beautiful, and a preference or choice that the individual has the right to make. We are simply walking in circles when we focus on interracial dating/marriage, instead of focusing on our own personal relationships and how we can build successful, long-lasting ones. Our focus must shift.

If we want Black Love to last, we must begin open and honest communication. We must stop perpetuating the myths and stereotypes we find in the media. We must talk. We must be open and honest, and we must learn how to trust.

4. The only way to combat negative images is for African Americans to start producing positive ones. If you’re like me, looking for new books and articles on the web about Black History and/or Black Love, and you find negative sites and blogs instead, then create your own site or blog. Blogging is powerful. It is the compilation of thoughts from an author that can emotionally engage the reader. We must find ways to keep ourselves strong and encouraged. Simply stated, we must get up and do something.

5. Without being biased, I can honestly say that I have not met a brother who touched my soul deeply. I am a young, 24 year old professional woman, so I am hoping this will change. I do remember one man I did love, but that love was not reciprocated in any form. No, I do not put all Black men in the “no good” category because of this one man’s actions. I will however take half of the blame because I could have made a better choice. The beautiful thing about life is that you live and learn. I’ve learned from my mistakes. I’ve learned that all Black men aren’t like that. I’ve learned to let the past go. So when the time comes, I can appreciate and respect a good man for all he’s worth.

In short, the best thing we can do to see Black Love flourish is to take care of ourselves, our relationships, and communities. Black Love has lasted tests and trials before, what makes this any different?

Peace and Love to all,

Katrina