But this article is a different story. “The Male Bashing Is Enuf” Seems as though you and those like you don’t like it when black males are revealed as males on the down-low, who DO infect others with HIV/AIDS. Shouldn’t you tell those males, “Enough!” It causes anxiety when males are exposed for being child murderers. Have you told them, “Enough!”

I’ll wait for your answers. No, I won’t.

But, I will say that it doesn’t do anyone any good by trying to protect these males who DO carry on in this type of manner. That’s what prisons and mental facilities are for. If these males weren’t a threat to society, there wouldn’t be a need to expose them. So revealing their behavior isn’t wrong nor bashing.

If they fit the characteristics of what you described in your article, will you ever be man enough to tell THEM, “ENOUGH!”

And what’s up with all of this hateration towards Tyler Perry? To me, it sounds so much like jealousy.

Even though this article is old, and it appears Tyler Perry has put some serious capital behind a couple films promoting a more “everyman” image of the black male in America, this problem of “Black Bashing” as an aesthetic and/or style preference in American discourse, literature, film, and music is rarely worked out quantitatively.

How much does Black Male Bashing cost a black male in

1 – Anxiety (did you know that our brains produce chemicals that become toxic when we experience episodes of racism or shame.)

2 – Post Traumatic Stress from negative racial encounters i.e. getting stopped by and frisked by the cops unnecessarily, getting ignored by your boss on the job or loosing a promotion to some everyone else knows should have gone to you, never seeing images of black men until a negative incident or statistic is revealed.

Even though some of these examples can occur without regard to race, part of a learned cultural defense against negative cross cultural interaction for black men has been to assume that this incident can escalate into a fatally racist encounter.

Once we start putting numbers or quantifiable values around issues, we can see progress, otherwise lazy black women and lazy black men will continue to let the social math of divide and conquer keep us bashing each other.

Don’t Hate…Calculate!

At some point, Black women will have to understand that their empowerment/freedom should not/cannot come at the expense of Black men. Those Black men who love them want them to be powerful with freedom–we just don’t want to be diminished in the process.

word.

and this is what i’ve come up with…

We’re being tasked with TOO MUCH!

We have to focus on ourselves. Black men and boys. work on us and only us. Not save the world. By creating and exemplifying what we want and need to be, thats the only way I see to succeed. There will always be those who choose to exemplify the other image / the other elements.

But we can’t worry about that image or the women or leading anymore.
We have bigger issues. And NO ONE is helping us. Not the sistas, not old leaders. We’re really going to have to do it ourselves. for ourselves. by ourselves. Create our own images and opportunities. Cultivate our own communities and promote our own values.

AND THEN… we can meet everybody else at the finish line, if they can catch up to US.

In reality I didn’t see For Colored Girls as a bad portrayal at all because I, unlike MOST, understand that this doesn’t alienate or depict ALL black men or men in general. What it does do is shed light on the MANY women, including me, who have been, and in some cases, is still trying to find a state of intimacy that goes far beyond sex. Trying to grasp on to something that makes us whole. See if you have never been in those situations it’s easy to critique and point out all that is wrong with the film. But for some, this is a reality EVERY SINGLE DAY! I could tell by the watery eyes that glistened in the shadows of other women and even MEN, YES MEN, who were all shades of our ethnic rainbow as they watched this movie along side me tonight.

And though these episodes in the movie may not correlate with your EXACT history, how many of us are still trying to find who we are through the eyes of a mate? We sacrifice so much of who we are to please people who don’t value what we give because they are only here to take. And black women have been taking for rides since slavery and ridden into the ground until the rainbow is no longer enough. Is it the fault of the black male? Not entirely. We have to except responsibility for the situations we put ourselves in and that was one main message in this movie that people have overlooked. However, there are many of our males who are the characters we saw in this film. Maybe not to the extreme of some but it is more existent than not! Let’s not get all brand new here. If it isn’t you, it’s a relative or someone you know. At the same token, if it’s not you as a male, then this table or platform from which I speak is not for you.

But I know those characters all too well. I know the women they have dated and the situations they have been in. It was not a movie at all and in the end, there were no group hugs. At the same time I also know men who step up to the plate and hold down their families and would never as so much THINK of doing what was displayed in that movie. They are honorable black men who are examples of greatness.

Yet, I can only speak from being a woman of experience. A woman who has given so much of myself for loving a few black men who weren’t worth my time. A woman whose seen the generation failures between mothers and daughters since I was born. A woman who has seen some of the girls I grew up with become unidentifiable to their own afflictions of abuse and sexual promiscuity. If you aren’t that women then again, this isn’t for you. But what I do know is whether you are honest on Facebook or in your social circles, we all have had some rough times and your personal rainbow wasn’t always enough. If you aren’t honest with anyone else, be honest with yourself.

So in essence, I applaud the film and it is my hope that somewhere every man and every woman who needs to find their own EXIT out of their misery will do so. We want love and we go through some extremes to get it, both men and women. Unfortunately, too many of us are giving our own identity away for the sake of trying to have what we think will heal our pain when we are actually pushing ourselves further away from it.

I don’t expect some to agree. You’re not me. You’ll never be me or see the things I’ve seen to fully understand. But as a woman who is still searching and continues to go through things trying to get to that place of peace because everything isn’t always great, I can relate.

I salute my men who hold it down and I don’t bash them but sadly, I know more who don’t than those who do and unfortunately that is my truth. You can’t blame me for that.

Renee Jennings

http://www.facebook.com/reneejennings
reneejennings@rmediagroup.com

Its bashing because it makes NO effort to represent black men in the same light or dignity that it showers upon the alter of the struggle that is being the black woman.

It’s bashing because it embodies the strength and plight of the black woman in direct opposition to the existence of a black male presence in their lives. We often serve as the hurdle to be overcome, the wall to be torn down, and the opposition to be defeated.

It’s bashing because it’s pandering in its most egregious state as it pits the success and ascension of the black woman squarely as the result of the downing their black male counterparts.

And until you, the supporters of this type of modern-day minstrel show where Tyler Perry and his ilk have donned the black face, until you get this, you’re part of the problem. Their backhanded slighting of black men serve little more purpose than to fuel our rage against their audience… the black women to carry their banner.

Black man against black woman… no one wins that war. Yes, we both have reason to be angry at one another. The difference is that a black woman’s spite is en vogue. Her bitterness is justified and rewarded with net sales. It pays to paint us as the villain.

And the simple truth is that while our anger and umbrage is no less valid… it is, however, less profitable.

Not until men and women can sit down at the table and talk to each other instead of AT each other will we make any progress. We have to be able to come to the table and not get defensive or lash out when we hear negative things we’ve done. Both sides have screwed up, but apart of healing is acknowledging what was done (as opposed to pretending it didn’t happen or making excuses as to why it happened) and then moving forward. Well written article but imo it only adds fuel to the fire that furthers the divide.