(ThyBlackMan.com) A we discuss in community how to protect our kids, more parents are realizing they have men in their life that carry the deep pain of having been molested, raped, and sexualized as children. It’s important to not that this is not a situation of over-sexualization as this should never happen to children. when we look at how to protect our children, when they are very young, we will find that we are having to call other women into account. The poster for a rapist or molester in our community has been dominated by the picture of men…fathers, uncles, boyfriends, and male cousins. In doing this we have left children unprotected against female predators. Little boys are not kings (yet), they are not boyfriends…they can’t take the place of a grown man. We must be willing to confront language, and behavior that make our boys vulnerable to becoming victims before they can walk. Below are five things you can look for when trying to keep your little boy(s) safe.
1. Speak up about inappropriate language. A baby is not sexy. A young boy is not sexy. These are children, and they should not be seen in such a way. This is pedophile behavior and we must speak up about it. The babies and children are precious, cute, handsome, adorable…but they are not adjectives that would deem them sexually attractive. I’ve spoken up about this when my infant was called sexy, and when a grown woman began to tell me about waiting for my six yr old to get just a little bit older to introduce him to manhood. Both situations involved a woman not a man, but if a man said this about someone’s daughter the same woman would be outrages and she admitted such. This is not acceptable.
2. Make sure you can trust the women that help you care for your boys. You don’t want your son to be fondled during diaper changes or baths. This is appalling, and it is also real so we must have the conversation so that we doing what is best to protect our children from trauma.
3. Just as a man needs to be appropriate in his attire around children women should do the same. Our sons should not have their heads forced into cleavage, nor be called into rooms by woman that are not dressed. There is no excuse for it. If we want our sons to have a profound respect for women, it’s not just something they learn from their father. They need to know they can feel safe in our presence and we are teaching them about women and respect as they interact with us.
4. Establish boundaries in how you want your boys handled. If you feel no one should be kissing your infant on the mouth or your young boys stick to your guns. If you have a boy that can bathe himself and you don’t want anyone in the bathroom with him (unless there is a safety issues of course) stand by your boundaries. These are your children, and though we have a village they are directly your responsibility.
5. Demand that your sons and daughters are treated the same…as precious children that should be safe and cherished. “Oh, he’s a boy” should never be a reason to violate the innocence of said child. Push the discussion of equal treatment and do so in a manner that allows your community to know you are watching.
It is unfortunate that we live in a world that preys on children. We have to protect our sons, because they aren’t born into the world toxic, and we have no right to have that discussion if this one is not on the table. They have to know they have personal space, and their body is to be protected. It is beyond enraging when babies who can’t even speak are violated. I felt strongly about this but that was taken to another level when a grown woman tried to explain away calling my baby boy sexy. We must take a stand for al of our children.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.