Thursday, July 9, 2020

Dad’s Should Support Their Daughters in All Things.

December 4, 2019 by  
Filed under News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( As a parent it is important to be there for your children in all things. Some mothers make it a point to own parenting regardless of whether they have a son or daughter. They are up to date, within reason, on the health, activities, and overall wellness of their children. This is an awesome, but it is important for dads to have the same space as parents. Children benefit from both parents being equally involved in the upbringing and rearing of a child. Daughters need their dad in every aspect of their lives. It’s not enough for dad to simply be there to keep bad boys, and people, away from them. There is more to fatherhood than just protection, and daughters should experience all the positivity that comes with having a dad. I know there are women that feel there are certain things a dad can’t do, or help in, because she’s a girl…but if you don’t limit yourself in this way with your son it is a moot point. Fathers, your daughters need your support in every aspect of life. Yes, respect her privacy where it is warranted, but she needs you, and she should feel comfortable coming to you in any aspect she feels.

Father daughter relationships are special. It is a bond that can teach a daughter plenty about life. It is wonderful when a girl feels she can talk to her father about ANYTHING without judgement or him appearing as uncomfortable. Brothers, when your daughter trusts you enough to talk to you about school, boys, sex, her health, education, or anything else…do not tell her “go talk to your momma”. There are conversations that yes, she will need to have with her mom, but if she also wants to talk to you about what’s on her mind…sit down and listen. If you don’t know…find out and reconvene, but don’t send her away. You are just as much her parent as her mother, and she needs to know you are there for here no matter what she is facing.

Your relationship with your daughter, as far as what she can discuss with you, should not be shaped by what society says is okay…it should be based on what your daughter needs. If you were taught men should not know about menstrual cycles, or discuss sex with their daughters, or should have no say in what the appropriate age for is make up…toss that terrible information out the window and get knowledge on said subjects. Your thoughts matter because you are a parent. Your daughter should not be turned away by you because you believe said subjects is women’s business.

One thing I greatly miss about my father is his ability to show up for me in every area I needed him. He never felt he needed to be more of a parent to my brother than my sister and me. He and my mother raised us together. As a hairstylist, my mother worked most weekends; that would be the time my first menstrual cycle would should show up. My dad was home; he didn’t freak out, nor make me feel uncomfortable. Dad took care of everything. He went to the store while I took a bath. When he came home, he explained how to use a pad, and reassured me this was a positive part of growing up. Of course, my mom and I had a conversation when she got home, but in the moment dad was there. In school my dad found time to show up at my sports events as well as my brother’s.

My father took me to get all my shots and was one of the few people I opened to about sexual assault. Dad was a dynamic part of my healing process, and he was apart of me learning how to deal with anxiety and PTSD. He reinforced the positivity that only a dad can give. I don’t see myself as broken today because of that man.  He was my confidant just as much as my mother on issues of life, and love. My father, at my strong request, was in the delivery room with my when I went into labor with my first child. He was there, along with my mother, for me and my husband. You see, my father didn’t believe there was a space whereby he could not support his children…his daughters as well as his son. Dads establish a relationship of trust and support with your daughter that equals that which you have with your son. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t be there to support your daughter, and please don’t make the choice not to support her.  Show up for her in every area that she needs you. You are an important part of the life of your daughter so make it your business to be there.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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