(ThyBlackMan.com) This is a subject I wish I could simply research without the experience, but the truth is I’ve been managing grief during the holidays for at least six year, but since 2017 it intensified with the death of my father. The holidays are known to be a time of year whereby family comes together, and some of our warmest memories are made. It’s not just the holiday gathering itself, but the time spent in preparation and leading up until the big day. We love on one another, cook together, share secrets and recipes that have been past down for generations, and some of us go all out on decorations. A space that was overflowing with warmth and goodness becomes cold and painful when loved one’s pass. Its hard to face the holidays without those we love as they are apart of what made the season special. Far too often we find that those times were, sometimes, taken for granted and we would give anything to have them back again. Though this time of year is extremely hard to manage there are a few things we can do to navigate the season, and who knows maybe have a decent time.
1. Allow yourself to acknowledge your grief. Trying to mask and hide the pain of your loss is unhealthy. Furthermore, though many of us would like to believe we hide the pain well there are many people around us that can see, and feel the grief we are experiencing. Allowing
yourself to own this space doesn’t make you week, it takes courage and strength to admit you are hurting. Nothing else can help you deal with the pain if you are in denial.
2. If there are people in your life that sincerely care about your pain allow them to be there for you. There are people dealing with grief that truly are alone; there is no one in their life that cares about their pain. However, if that is not you try not to feed yourself the false narrative. Allow those that you trust to stand with you, wipe your tears, and love on you. Sometimes we feel the spirit of those we miss in the arms and care of those that are still here. If you don’t have to face grief alone…don’t.
3. Try to get out the house. Though you may feel like sitting at home and sulking in your pain take a chance on getting out the house. If you trust the space, go and be with your family that’s still here. In most cases those that we’ve lost wouldn’t want us cooped up in the house allowing tie and love to get away from us. Let the love that is flowing this holiday season be a healing balm to your pain. Don’t take for granted those that are still here on this earth with you that just want to love on, and celebrate with, you. Take a chance…leave the house.
The holidays are never the same when you lose someone you love. However, there is still room for love, fellowship, the passing on of traditions dear to you, and creating new ones. Allow those that love you to be there for you, as you show up for yourself in this very difficult space. Often times, if we allow it, we see reminders that those we love are still with us in spirit.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
May connect with this sister over at Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/christian.pierre.9809 and also Twitter; http://twitter.com/MrzZeta.