(ThyBlackMan.com) Rejection is something no one wants to go through at all. Whether it’s blocked affection or getting turned down for a job, rejection just sucks.
Depending on how you handle it, rejection can make you stronger than when you shot your shot or flopped on the interview. It all comes down to bouncing back from rejection, knowing what you did wrong, and taking a different approach. Here are five ways to get through rejection.
Evaluate Your Approach
Sometimes it helps to be critical of yourself. How did you mess up? Did you mess up? Was it just not just your day? Was the target having a bad day? Factor all of these in and see how your approach was and what you could’ve done differently.
Maybe you smiled and laughed a little too much and made you seem ingenuine. You probably weren’t dressed accordingly. Maybe you were just too awkward. Oh, but not every situation is the same. Not every love interest is the same either. As a matter of fact, your approach would’ve probably worked on someone else or in another situation.
That smiling and laughing would’ve probably gone over like gangbusters in one setting when it went over like a fart in church in the one previous. Prediction isn’t an exact science but it helps to know the situation you’re in. Is it a light, good vibes situation or is this dead body serious and you need to hit it clean out the park on the first swing?
That leads us to the next thing.
Be Flexible
So, you’ve evaluated yourself and what you did. Or you looked at your resume and cover letter and you’re seeing where things went wrong. That doesn’t mean scrap that approach entirely. Like I said, it might work in another instance. What you do hold on to that resume and don’t change yourself up all the way.
Having different approaches to things makes you versatile. You’ll need a circle for a circle hole and a square for a square one. If you’re a circle the whole time, you’re going to be playing the waiting game until a circle comes along. Who knows when that will be?
Sometimes, you just need to be a chameleon and change as necessary. Don’t get stuck in one approach. This isn’t just a lesson for handling rejection but for life in general. Change things up from time to time. Stay fresh and you’ll rarely be ill-prepared for a situation.
As a matter of fact, you’ll get to the point where you can change on the dime as the situation requires. It’s a skill that takes some time to master and some skill to do seamlessly but it can be done.
Research
This would help beforehand. Some stuff is just hard to prep for and you might just get hit with something you couldn’t prepare for. Your best research is going to come from insider stuff. You know someone who works at a place and you’re trying to get on.
That person can fill you in on the interview process and who handles the interview. Get that information about who does what and how they act. How are they to deal with in interviews and at work.
In potential relationships, if you’re mutual friends with that potential special someone, find out things about them. Not the stuff you already know but stuff that will really put you over with that person. If there’s something their exes did that turned them off, find that out if possible.
It’s best to ask them directly but some folks will know that person better than you do just like it’s the case with yourself.
Unknowns can trip you up horribly. Like I said, there are something you just won’t be able to prepare for and prediction is something that needs work. That’s why it’s best to be flexible and get into the mindset of changing when the mood changes. You don’t want to just steam shovel ahead and think you’ll make progress.
Take Time For Yourself
Worrying about how you are doing and taking a break from the whole process can really help. I know you might be in a situation where you need to have work because bills and expenses are eating at what you have left. However, taking rejection after rejection can really wear on you. The more you take those rejections to heart, the worse you’ll be when going on to the next interview or date.
You might not be easy to rattle but your mind and your heart just might not be into doing this again. Hell, I’ve taken so many rejections from jobs and interviews that I was like “I just need to step back and evaluate my approach.” That breathing room helps in gathering yourself and being better prepared so it goes hand-in-hand with the suggestions above.
Of course, it’s almost impossible to get breathing room when you have several interviews or dates lined up and you struck out several times before. There’s that need to just keep throwing yourself at it and also the aforementioned need to find work now.
It’s hard to tell yourself to just sit down for a day or two, chill, then get back to it Monday but it’s necessary for you mentally. If your mind is compromised, you’re not going to tackle anything 100-percent. You will likely finally get it done but it won’t be your best performance.
This goes into our last way to get through rejection.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Again, worry can really impact your mental state and even your physical wellbeing. You’ll worry about not finding something or someone and that can lead to you wondering what you’re lacking. Or what are you doing wrong? Don’t get to that stage where you start pummeling yourself, rejection is doing that enough for you.
That isn’t to say you should start blaming that scorned love or the employer who didn’t hire you. On occasion, it’s warranted but sometimes it’s best to just worry about not targeting yourself. Taking time for yourself can take your mind off of this and even give you clarity.
You might just have an “Ah-ha!” moment and be ready to tackle all of this again in a better mood.
Staff Writer; M. Swift
This talented writer is also a podcast host, and comic book fan who loves all things old school. One may also find him on Twitter at; metalswift.