(ThyBlackMan.com) I’m not one to kink shame. Whatever floats your boat and doesn’t sink your sub, go for it. Just be safe with it. Actually, it doesn’t even involve me to begin with–let’s keep it that way. However, there is one kink that just seems…I don’t know, like it’s easy for it to become a problem. Maybe even dangerous. No, not choking or trampling–which can turn dangerous. What I’m talking about is race play.
Wait? R-Race play?
Yes, race play. It’s a form or theme in sexual roleplay where the participants–often an interracial couple–act out “racially charged” situations in addition to sexual acts. It’s sex with a side of acted out racism. It can include slavery, pseudo-rape, and other themes and scenarios I’m not going to delve into.
I bring this up because a Tampa couple–Kenneth Atkins and Ashley Edwards–were recently in the news over a bit of race play gone wrong. Apparently, Edwards, a Black woman wanted Atkins, a white guy to engage in some slave and slave master roleplay with her. Now, Mr. Atkins wasn’t comfortable with it and didn’t want to do it. Things got heated once Ms. Edwards became persistent and then aggressive about it.
I mean, if he doesn’t want to do it, leave the guy alone. Then again, if there was some agreement to do it based on some other roleplay she wasn’t really up for–it gets murky. This is territory for a kink veteran or some sort of bedroom lawyer.
Then it really depends on if this was even the case. Going on what we have, there’s a white man who was so annoyed and disgusted that his Black girlfriend wanted to be plantation bae that it escalates into him spitting on her. Then he gets arrested.That’s what we have.
Now spitting on someone is wrong. Actually, it’s disrespectful which can be placed in the “wrong” column. However, for a person of color to really be really insistent on being called all of the slurs and treated like a slave–if this was what she expected–because they get off of it…these are troubling times.
Then again, different stuff do things for different people. Stuff you consider a tastemaker might be vanilla to others. Very few things are considered “Whoa, that’s too far” material in this world.
So What’s The Worst That Could Happen
With race play? Where to begin? Someone could get offended but they’re a consenting adult who entered into this in the first place. So points against them on that. It could turn violent but so could most sexual acts and sexual roleplay. Don’t forget someone leaving unfulfilled. Even if they have an agreeable partner, someone could walk away feeling that it was the work of a temp who didn’t give a f***, really.
For the most part, it could just go too far. That’s why talking about this stuff, finding out what is expected out of the experience, and setting up rules are important. Race play isn’t something folks can just go into with an understanding or thinking “They know my heart and what I like and don’t like.” No, sit down and discuss it. That goes for most things, even non-roleplay vanilla sex. Someone might have a condition or a position might be uncomfortable for someone, discuss everything, find out what your partner enjoys and doesn’t, and carry it out to the letter. Mix it up once in a while but keep in it the ballpark until you discuss being adventurous.
The case of Atkins and Edwards comes off as either just thinking race play would be fun, not discussing it in great detail and diving into it or having done it once before, Atkins not enjoying it at all and Edwards being pissed about these developments.
Don’t be Atkins and Edwards, folks.
Staff Writer; M. Swift
This talented writer is also a podcast host, and comic book fan who loves all things old school. One may also find him on Twitter at; metalswift.