(ThyBlackMan.com) Society is bipolar when it comes to the subject of parenting. In one space parents should be more friend like towards their children. The children should have more independence and decision making power in their day to day activities. Parents are told that if their children seem to have a behavior problem it’s not because they’re just misbehaving…there is some reason that involves their feelings. Furthermore, their feelings should be considered above all things. Parents are made to believe they need to accommodate the child even of it will set a negative example later in life. On the other hand, as children grow up the conversation changes immediately. When adolescents are out of order, not doing well in school, deemed disrespectful, and seem to have to handle no handle on proper priorities the parent is at fault.
Parents are blamed for having not established the order the child needs. The parents didn’t create the foundation necessary for the child to be successful. The child doesn’t have respect for authority, nor property and it’s the fault of the parent. What doesn’t seem to connect with some is let the child decide parenting is what caused the parent to later be at fault.
It is important for society to understand we can’t properly raise a child to be the respectable member of society that is needed if we cater to their every wish when they are young. It is understandable that there are children that deal with mental illness so parents have to approach those situations delicately. However, for the many that don’t…we can’t allow temper tantrums and misbehavior and expect to get adults that behave differently. It is important to set their foundation from the moment they are born. Some parents may call you mean because you don’t cook multiple meals for multiple children, your kids have chores, you insist they wear weather appropriate clothing, your children must participate in family time, they go to bed every night for the most part at a time set by you, and you don’t tolerate them being disrespectful to you nor anyone else. Basically, you have your children in a pretty regular routine and you should not feel condemned for this. Holding your children responsible for their actions, and enforcing consequence, is not being harsh. You are preparing them for life.
Not being your child’s friend is quite okay. When your children are young, they don’t need a friend in you they need a parent. Never apologize for being that parent that’s willing to lead and guide your children as best you can. Of course there will be days your child doesn’t like you much that’s apart of the process. We are in no ways talking about abusing a child, because that is always unacceptable. However, teaching your children how to work through their feelings verses believing the world revolves around them is part of the job of a parent. You children don’t understand right now, but one day they will thank you for loving them enough to teach, nurture, discipline, and set standards for them.
The world we live in doesn’t seem to care much about a child after it’s born. The same society would call a parent mean, but them blame the parent for the outcome of said child. We know this so parents have to begin to take a stand about the very idea of parenting. We must take accountability for raising our children, and preparing them for the reality of this world. We know that reality is not the same for everyone…it can be dangerous for our children. Parents know they can’t prevent everything. Great parenting doesn’t mean our children won’t get harassed or face hardship. However, we can do all we can as parents to make sure they have the best foundation and support system we can give them.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr
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