(ThyBlackMan.com) If a poll was taken and the question was asked, “Should the Black Man still be the sole provider of the household in 2018” the dominant response would be no. No to the idea that he should be the only one working to provide for the family, because everything is so expensive in today’s society. Sole provider meaning that his income would cover all the necessities of his family including rent, all utilities, food, clothing, etc. Although the common consensus would be that he shouldn’t be, he should, because it is his role as a black man to be the provider, protector and maintainer of his family. Just as the role of the black woman is to be his help, rear the children, upkeep the home, cook, etc. A role does not confine a man or woman to a space, just dictates what should be taken care of first before anything else.
The biggest argument against the black man being the sole provider for his family is that more than one income is needed in order for a family to be able to sustain itself. Although it is a valid argument, it doesn’t change this position because a black man can have two jobs to support their family. Having to work two jobs in order to support your family is indeed hard work, however, it can be done and has been done.
An alternative to working two jobs would be starting and running a business. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad, the leader of the Nation of Islam said “do for self or suffer the consequences”. One of the consequences of not doing for self, is the stress that comes with working a 9 to 5 for a black man. The black man does not only have to worry about unfair treatment, lower wages, and having to scale back their masculinity in order to keep a job. Black men also have to worry about making it to work, due to all of the unjust killings of black men by police and civilians for whatever reason available at the time. Melanie Haiken from Forbes.com wrote that “stress raises our risk of cancer, heart disease, allergies, and susceptibility to colds and flu.” So in addition to the stress of working a 9 to 5 the black man also has to worry about the quality of life of his family and himself. Starting a business is not free of stress, but those stresses can be maintained and are often overshadowed by the satisfaction and happiness that one gets from doing what they love for work.
Another consequence of not doing for self is the stress that it places on a relationship. When working a 9 to 5 job you are subjected to a lot of frustrations that you rarely have control over unless you don’t mind losing your job. The majority of the time you must endure, and having to endure causes misplaced frustration towards your spouse. The smallest of things will set you off, not because you are truly bothered by what set you off, but because you need a release of all the built up tension from work. Frustration is not a foreign feeling in entrepreneurship, however the difference is that your spouse will be a part of it and will understand it because they are going through it with you.
One of the primary reasons given as to why more people aren’t doing for self is that “everyone is not made to be an entrepreneur.” Deuteronomy 8:18 says, “But thou shalt remember the Lord thy God: for it is he that giveth the power to get wealth,” which says that the ability to get wealth, which is not obtained by working a 9 to 5, is already part of the god that you are connected to, so it must be tapped into. Everyone not being meant to be an entrepreneur is not a reason, it is an excuse. They have the ability to do so but do not want to do the work because it often does not comes with the same guaranteed financial reward as a 9 to 5 until the work is established. This can take 1 to 5 years depending on the industry.
If the woman has to share the financial responsibility with a man, then how can she trust in his role as the man of the house? If the partner has to step in then there is a shift in the head of the household dynamic because typically the black woman is paid more to do the same job as the black man. The black man and woman have enough work to do in order to reverse the effects of slavery, and controlling the ego that comes with a wife making more than her husband will not make that process any easier.
Part of the role of being a man is protecting and providing for your family. You are not providing for your family if your wife has to work to help keep the rent and bills paid. If your wife needs to work in order to help you during a downtime, it’s just help, don’t make it the standard.
Staff Writer; Sister Victoria X
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