Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Why The Black Man Should Still Be The Sole Provider.

September 13, 2018 by  
Filed under Business, Money, News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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(ThyBlackMan.com) If a poll was taken and the question was asked, “Should the Black Man still be the sole provider of the household in 2018” the dominant response would be no. No to the idea that he should be the only one working to provide for the family, because everything is so expensive in today’s society. Sole provider meaning that his income would cover all the necessities of his family including rent, all utilities, food, clothing, etc. Although the common consensus would be that he shouldn’t be, he should, because it is his role as a black man to be the provider, protector and maintainer of his family. Just as the role of the black woman is to be his help, rear the children, upkeep the home, cook, etc. A role does not confine a man or woman to a space, just dictates what should be taken care of first before anything else.

The biggest argument against the black man being the sole provider for his family is that more than one income is needed in order for a family to be able to sustain itself. Although it is a valid argument, it doesn’t change this position because a black man can have two jobs to support their family. Having to work two jobs in order to support your family is indeed hard work, however, it can be done and has been done.

An alternative to working two jobs would be starting and running a business. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad, the leader of the Nation of Islam said “do for self or suffer the consequences”. One of the consequences of not doing for self, is the stress that comes with working a 9 to 5 for a black man. The black man does not only have to worry about unfair treatment, lower wages, and having to scale back their masculinity in order to keep a job. Black men also have to worry about making it to work, due to all of the unjust killings of black men by police and civilians for whatever reason available at the time. Melanie Haiken from Forbes.com wrote that “stress raises our risk of cancer, heart disease, allergies, and susceptibility to colds and flu.” So in addition to the stress of working a 9 to 5 the black man also has to worry about the quality of life of his family and himself. Starting a business is not free of stress, but those stresses can be maintained and are often overshadowed by the satisfaction and happiness that one gets from doing what they love for work.

Another consequence of not doing for self is the stress that it places on a relationship. When working a 9 to 5 job you are subjected to a lot of frustrations that you rarely have control over unless you don’t mind losing your job. The majority of the time you must endure, and having to endure causes misplaced frustration towards your spouse. The smallest of things will set you off, not because you are truly bothered by what set you off, but because you need a release of all the built up tension from work. Frustration is not a foreign feeling in entrepreneurship, however the difference is that your spouse will be a part of it and will understand it because they are going through it with you.

One of the primary reasons given as to why more people aren’t doing for self is that “everyone is not made to be an entrepreneur.” Deuteronomy 8:18 says, “But thou shalt remember the Lord thy God: for it is he that giveth the power to get wealth,” which says that the ability to get wealth, which is not obtained by working a 9 to 5, is already part of the god that you are connected to, so it must be tapped into. Everyone not being meant to be an entrepreneur is not a reason, it is an excuse. They have the ability to do so but do not want to do the work because it often does not comes with the same guaranteed financial reward as a 9 to 5 until the work is established. This can take 1 to 5 years depending on the industry.

If the woman has to share the financial responsibility with a man, then how can she trust in his role as the man of the house? If the partner has to step in then there is a shift in the head of the household dynamic because typically the black woman is paid more to do the same job as the black man. The black man and woman have enough work to do in order to reverse the effects of slavery, and controlling the ego that comes with a wife making more than her husband will not make that process any easier.

Part of the role of being a man is protecting and providing for your family. You are not providing for your family if your wife has to work to help keep the rent and bills paid. If your wife needs to work in order to help you during a downtime, it’s just help, don’t make it the standard.

Staff Writer; Sister Victoria X

One may also follow this sister over at; SVX.


6 Responses to “Why The Black Man Should Still Be The Sole Provider.”
  1. Trevo Craw says:

    To Lipstick Alley,

    What are you? Other than confused.
    It is never about religion but always about spiritual relationship with the Creator. You are full of BS, animosity and foolishness. If you have no standard that has stood the test of time for marriage, you have no sense of right and wrong in a marriage. And who are you to question, challenge or put down principles that have proven themselves a million times over?

    To Truth Excalibur,

    Because the consensus is the God says so. What guidelines do you have that are better or superior? And where were you when we all were created? How many millions of people have you taught and how many followed the principles you came up with? There is an order to everything in the universe.

  2. Give us break when it comes to religion.

    Straight and no sex before marraige (laughs)

    But don’t tell me how to BE MARRIED thats insane.

    You Men… thank you Excalibur from The Root!!!

  3. TruthExcalibur says:

    Why does the man have to LEAD the house?
    Why does the wife have to SUBMIT?

    Why not equality?

    Europe is twice as NOT religious as us yet has the better marriage rate.

    You are not going to make millineal women submissive

  4. Trevo Craw says:

    To The Author Again,

    Elijah Muhammad is not the final say on financial matters in the marriage covenant. God is. Realize that the Quran is the final word for Muslims. And 70% of the Quran is the Bible. In fact the Quran makes reference to THE BOOK. It also states that Christ was sinless and Rue Allah or the Spirit of God.

    Therefore you need to hear Christ and what he has to say about marriage. Neither the Quran nor Muhammad nor Elijah Muhammad improved upon the instructions for marriage provided by the New Covenant and New Testament under Christ. Do your research.

    It is important that any person who is a part of any belief system study for themselves instead of just blanketly quoting and blindly following any human leader.

  5. Trevo Craw says:

    An African American man cannot assume his proper role and abide in it successfully until he has a strong sense of identity, vision and self worth. Nor can he lead his family in the right direction until he has and knows these things.

    The woman can share in the financial responsibility, if needed, because being a “help meet” means helping the man in whatever area necessary.If their debt, expenses and lifestyle make that necessary, she needs to help. Ideally they will live below their means where the man can handle it all, but that rarely happens.

    The author of this article is not incorrect but rather incomplete in her perspective. Another variable is submission. The woman is called to submit to her husband, regardless of who makes the money or the most money. Today too many men do not know how to lead so they rule instead. They use their salary to control almost everything that happens. All these things have to be taken into account. It is not as simple as the author of this article makes it seem.

  6. Trevo Craw says:


    It amazes me how many of you are still brainwashed to call yourselves BLACK.
    Black is not an identity and scientifically black is not even a color. It is next to nothing. Black is the “color” of your car tires, not your skin. The white oppressive slave trader called you black and himself white to set up a contrast and to attach negative images and denotations to you based on a lie about color. Look up BLACK in the dictionary.

    Research even shows that blacks are perceived by other groups as very different from African Americans. But we still keep calling ourselves what someone else defined us as, what we are not and what has a negative dictionary denotation in society. WAKE UP. LOOK AT THE REAL COLOR OF YOUR SKIN. YOU ARE NOT BLACK. You are an African American. The lie of calling us black and defining us by color (the wrong color) has been in place so long that our people accept it as truth – but it’s not. Know your colors.

    Native Americans do not allow others to call them red men. Asians do not accept being called yellow men. Hispanics do not answer to “what’s up brown man”. And Caucasians are not white, notebook paper is white. Wake up and see the plan where white racist supremacists plotted to redefine our people from Africa. STOP CALLING YOURSELF SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE NOT!

    Black is the “color” of your car tires, not your skin author. Being called “black” is a lie and it should be offensive. Haitians, Jamaicans and even Africans do not accept being called “black”, Why do you think that is? They are identified by tribes, klans, geographic areas and their respective countries. By using the very term black to describe us, we are doing the following:

    1. Using a term white oppressors and slave masters gave us.
    2. Letting someone else define us other than our own people.
    3. Calling ourselves something we are not.
    4. Buying into thee lie and the negative denotation. Check the dictionary.
    5. Being set apart in a way that no other ethnic group allows. Native Americans are not called Red Man. Asians are not called Yellow Man. Hispanics are not called Brown Man. They do not and will not accept being defined by color and by some other race or ethnic group at that.
    6. Ignoring our actual color (brown) which means brainwashing has worked. Any time someone can get an entire race, ethnic group or culture to ignore what they are and call themselves what they factually are not, THEY HAVE BEEN INDOCTRINATED, ASSIMILATED AND BRAINWASHED.
    7. Playing right into the oppressor’s profiles and stereotypes. Did you know studies show there is a different perception of black people than there is of African Americans? Words create perceptions and perceptions create actions towards us.

    WAKE UP. You know your colors. And even though others around the world equated our ancestors with the color of the soil in Africa or the meaning of negro/negroid, that does not change the fact that WE ARE BROWN – NOT BLACK.
    Facts are facts and YOU ARE BROWN, NOT BLACK. When you receive the revelation of why they keep calling African Americans “black” and Caucasian people “white”, you may just wake up!

    STOP LETTING OTHER GROUPS DEFINE YOU WITH AN OBVIOUS LIE that we have heard and accepted so much that we believe it’s true and forget our colors. The de-programming has to take root or African Americans will forever be defined, limited and oppressed by those who get us to accept a lie.

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