Thursday, March 21, 2019

4 Reasons to Remain Single.

May 19, 2018 by  
Filed under Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( In a world that’s constantly telling black women what we need to do, it can be hard to embrace singleness. We see our friends in relationships. We see portrayals of relationships on TV and in the movies. All of this and more create a skewed idea of what love and relationships should be in our minds. But what we fail to realize is that things are not always what they seem. When it comes down to it, there are very real and valid reasons to remain single.

I know that it can seem counter-intuitive, but being single is a good thing. Well, that is if you let it be. I was single for most of my twenties, mostly by choice. I have been in a relationship for the last 6 years and I think back on my singleness. I realize that there are legitimate reasons why I was single and maybe, at times, should have remained single.

Here are a few things to consider if you are in that boat.


It can be hard to be in a relationship and really get to know who you are. Your time is divided between a multiple of things and having to be emotionally, mentally, and physically available to another person can be a distraction. Sometimes, you need to take that energy and put it into loving, knowing, and understanding yourself better.

Save Money

You can spend a lot of money when you are in a relationship. Most people believe this to be true for men, but it can also ring very true for women as well. You want to shower your significant other (SO) with gifts and other things. That stuff adds up. Singleness is a time for you to focus on building your wealth and making moves to secure your future.

Not Ready

Let’s face it; there are just some people who are not relationship material. I know that fact can be a drag but when it comes down to it, knowing this about yourself is actually one of the best things you can understand about yourself. If you fall into this category, don’t fight it. Definitely, explore why you feel the way that you do about relationships and after you come to whatever conclusion, just go with it.

Big Investment

You not only spend money on your SO when in a committed relationship, you also spend time. Often, the time you would give to one thing, like an endeavor or a goal, is given to the person in your life. You have to weigh things. Is being in a relationship and running the risk of a detour when it comes to what you are striving for it worth it? Be honest with yourself and if you have to, know that it’s okay to remain single.

Everyone goes through different seasons in their lives. Sometimes, the feeling of wanting to be in a relationship is just that – a feeling. Either way, while there are many great benefits of being in a relationship, there are also a plethora of good reasons to remain single. These are just a few.

Staff Writer; Rasheda Abdullah


2 Responses to “4 Reasons to Remain Single.”
  1. Daniel Robinson says:

    I’m always open to others opinion but this particular article highlights the wasted time in secular pursuits and borderline selfishness of our generation. When we speak of “finding” ourselves/”self” discovery, it usually entails a lot of meaningless hook-ups/sex, pursuing and sometimes obtaining higher education, networking to get to that “next” phase in our careers, and other self-indulgent activities which honestly, makes us insufficient mates let alone spouses. I would say that the author’s viewpoints are excusable for someone in their early to mid 20’s but if you’re in your 30’s still sharing these same independent ways of thinking, then shut the womb down and be celibate, detox those sexual soul ties you’ve made in the past, get a more Godly understanding of who the opposite sex is and your role in their lives’, and make yourself available and suitable to be the wife and man truly desires.

  2. Marque Anthony says:

    This article is so wrong and the author is covering up for personal fear.
    The Bible said Marriage is Holy in ALL
    Staying single but having sex means more kids of single parents and the AA community does not need that. History has proven that to hurt the balance, mindset and confidence of children.
    Save money? Really? That’s just dumb. Don’t blame lack of discipline in spending or poor money management on being in a relationship. Nobody makes you spend too much. And what about both people helping each other?


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