Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Improve Trust in Your Relationship with 5 steps.

January 14, 2018 by  
Filed under Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

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( Trust is a foundation pillar in any relationship. It is necessary for every other aspect of the relationship to flourish. Cultivating trust is more than simply not lying to your partner. How one handles themselves, and situations is also a factor in the discussion of trust. For many trust is not an easy thing to give as hurt tends to make one cautious. Trust allows one to be themselves freely, and also gives them a space whereby they can be vulnerable. Improving trust is an ongoing practice.

As the relationship grows, and matures, its easy to chip away at trust in ways that can go unnoticed. These are five steps that can be used to strengthen, improve, and even repair trust in a relationship. Trust is an absolute necessity if your relationship is to remain intact.

1. Keep Your Promises. In a relationship your word is truly your bond. Yes, we know things happen, and distractions occur. However, communicating these things to your partner will help them feel as though they have value. Your partner needs to be able to trust that your word has meaning. They need to know they are not to anticipate constant disappointment when you speak. Keeping your promises help to create stability in the relationship, and your partner can come to trust that stability.

2. Be a Discreet Confidant. No one wants to divulge their deepest secrets only to have them exposed. Allow yourself to be a true confidant, and never betray your partners trust in exposing what they placed in your keeping. Regardless of disagreements, or anger, trust in built in the ability to practice discretion. You want your partner to be able to open up completely with no fear of betrayal. This can be difficult for some that are use to telling a parent, sibling, or close friend everything. It is important to know that what is shared between you and your partner is to be hidden from the world.

3. Steer Clear of Public Embarrassment. This might sound strange, but trust can be shattered in a fit of public embarrassment. In that moment when everyone sees you tear down, ridicule, or humiliate your partner you broke the foundation of the relationship. They know in that moment that you cannot be trusted with their person, and they cannot trust your character. It can be very tempting to act out in anger at times, or it may seem comical to make fun of something about your partner. These situations will cause them to shut down, and close themselves up to you. You never want your partner to feel they need to protect themselves from you. Staying away from public embarrassment is also a form of discretion.

4. Forgive Honestly. We all make mistakes, and have to seek forgiveness. However, if you choose to forgive your partner needs to trust they are truly forgiven. You show this by dealing with a matter, and moving forward. When real forgiveness takes place, past offensives are not repeatedly rehashed when an argument occurs. Furthermore, it is not hung over their head to condemn nor misuse them. In a relationship honestly forgiving your partner is as important as seeking forgiveness. This leads back to being able to trust your word on a matter.

5. Share Your Fears. Trust is grown when we allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable. Your partner will know you trust them when you share the depths of your heart, and fears, with them. When you can open up and be transparent with your partner, and them with you, it shows a deep level of trust.

Trust is needed to grow, and deepen, a relationship. Taking the time to implement a few steps to improve trust will allow your trust to continue to grow, and strengthen your relationship.

Staff Writer; Christian Starr

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One Response to “Improve Trust in Your Relationship with 5 steps.”
  1. M Anthony says:

    As a marriage, family and relationship counselor, I must comment. Before you can improve trust, you must obviously find out why there is distrust. Is the distrust warranted and legitimate or is it because the distrusting partner has paranoia, phobias and trust issues from the past but unrelated to his/her current partner?

    That is what the distrusting partner has to answer up front. It the other person doing things that would make a normal, reasonable person distrust him or her? Some things are personal, even in a marriage. However there is a difference between what is personal and what is kept secret and why.

    Any wife or husband should be able to look through their spouses cell phone, text messages and emails. However that does not mean they have to. The spouse should have no problem with it if he/she is not hiding anything. And the spouse wanting to look should recognize and respect privacy. No this is not a contradiction.

    Some people lack trust because they have been betrayed by others in the past. Or even because they have seen their parents, other relatives and friends be betrayed. None of these are good reasons to distrust your partner.

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