Friday, January 18, 2019

Top Ten Georgia Driving Jokes.

December 11, 2017 by  
Filed under Education, Opinion, Weekly Columns

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( After a course on defensive driving Atlanta is a much safer place to drive. It takes a couple afternoons to get your hours in, and you’ll have some laughs along the way if you take a comedy defensive driving course. Here’s some jokes we like:

The Juggler

A Georgia state patrolman spots a driver going a good fifteen miles per hour over the limit. He hits the sirens and pulls them over. When he asks the driver why he’s in such a hurry, the driver says that he’s a juggler on his way to a gig. They booked him at the last second, it’s twice his usual rate, but he can only get there on time by playing fast and loose with the speed limit. The patrolman cuts him a deal: Do your act for me and I’ll let you off with a warning.

The driver says he’d love to, but he doesn’t have anything to juggle here, so the patrolman gets three road flares, lights them, and hands them to the driver.

A minute into the routine, another driver pulls up. He gets out of his car and walks right into the back of the patrolman’s vehicle. The patrolman asks him what he’s doing. “Come on, officer, there’s no way I’ll ever pass that test.”


Who’s driving the car when you have a Yellowjackets linebacker, defensive back and wide receiver on board?

The police officer.

Driver’s Ed

Did you hear they cancelled Driver’s Ed and sex education in Georgia schools? They said it was just too much for the mules to handle.

State Trooper

A Georgia state trooper pulls over a senior citizen for going twenty miles over the limit. His shift is ending soon, and he doesn’t feel like doing the paperwork, so he cuts the guy some slack. “If you can tell me an excuse I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you off this time.”

“Twenty years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were trying to return her.”


A Georgia state trooper pulls a woman over. “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?” “Well I stole this car and I murdered the previous owner. They’re in the trunk. So, I’m in a hurry to get across the state line.”

The officer backs off and calls in for backup.

Back at the station the woman produces her registration and they find the trunk empty. “Ma’am, one of my officers says that you confessed to stealing the car and murdering the owner.” the woman rolled her eyes “And I’ll bet that fibber told you I was speeding too!”

State Lines

A squad of Alabama State Troopers are chasing a suspected burglar along the I-20. The suspects speed over the state line into Georgia at 80 miles an hour. The sergeant makes a U-turn and starts heading back home.

“Sarge, I don’t get it, we almost had ’em.”

“You crazy? They’re an hour ahead of us now, we’ll never catch ’em.”

Traffic Laws

If you’re new to Georgia, know that there are some subtle differences in the driving laws here. For instance, at a four-way stop, the truck with the loudest muffler goes first.

Street Names

In any other state in the USA, Clairmont, Claremont and Clairemonte would be the names of three different streets.

Broken Taillight

A Georgia state trooper pulls over a married couple. “You know your taillight is out.” “It is? I’ll get that fixed right away offic-” “Henry you knew that taillight was out, how many times have I told you to get it fixed?” “Mary, will you shut up?”

“Does your husband always talk to you like that, ma’am?” “Oh, no, officer, only when he’s drunk!”

Summer Drivin’

Georgia is the only state where auto shops sell oven mitts next to the driving gloves.

Staff Writer; Karl Parker

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