(ThyBlackMan.com) Everything can happen on one’s cellphone, and though it can be great for business…it can be terrible for home. Many married people find themselves in situations whereby they are involved in emotional relationships outside of the marriage. Because there is no physical interaction they deem this as safe. However, most of the communication runs through their cellphones. For many their phone is the last thing they see at night, and the first thing they embrace in the morning. This is not healthy for a relationship, and can put a marriage in jeopardy. When the phone sits higher than one’s spouse it can leave that spouse feeling ignored and alienated.
Emotional cheating starts with some degree of neglect. If one isn’t careful a wife/husband would find themselves tempted to start singing “Everything I miss at Home”, and that is where the problems begin. There has to be some boundaries set regarding cellphones so that the couple can continue to interact in a positive manner. Why should one feel the need to text how their day went while sitting in the same room? Marriage is work.
It requires you to continue to learn one another, as everyone grows…and changes over time. Communication is the gateway to both peace, and intimacy, and its often thwarted by outside communication taking priority. No one wants to feel they have to compete with a phone for the affection of their spouse, yet it happens every single day. If you walk into a restaurant you will see couples dining while glancing at, and interacting with, their phone. This voids the purpose date lunches and dinner.
When you find yourself overly protective of your phone, or changing the lock codes so the spouse doesn’t have access your marriage is at risk. That is a very dangerous game, and can be considered, if not cheating, inappropriate behavior. You must ask yourself how you would feel if you picked up your spouse’s phone and found that they bare their soul to another. Its not just about sexual content, but matters of the heart. Another person knows their dreams, fears, and they are growing with that person in the intimacy of communication. Believe me it would not feel good at all, so its not an act that should be committed.
Consider doing these four things to help strengthen your marriage, and prevent the phone from becoming a weapon.
- Unless on call for work, allow your last interaction at night, and your first in the morning, to be with your spouse. After kissing your spouse good night don’t roll over to your phone.
- When going out on lunch and dinner dates implement a no phone policy. Actually spend the time engaging with your spouse. Yes, work is understandable, but allow those times to be about the two of you.
- Keep open honest communication. If you feel you aren’t getting enough of your spouse’s time talk to them. Let them know how you feel, and take all things into consideration as the two of you discuss the matter.
- Share the depths of your heart with your spouse. When things make you overwhelmingly happy, or sad, share them with your spouse…not someone else over the phone.
Phones have a place in our life, but not higher than those we love. Don’t let the device become the vice of your infidelity emotionally nor physically. Take the time to talk to your spouse every day. Laugh, cry, and grow with them. No one should be closer to you than your partner in life…this includes the phone.
Staff Writer; Christian Starr